Of all the women in the castle, I hoped at least one of them was like me, but Jane would have probably been at the bottom of my list.
But after checking and rechecking multiple times, it really became clearer that indeed she was the only one. Just my luck I guess.
I wasn't scared of Jane, as most of the other vampires were. My feeling leaned more towards apathetic, which led me to stay out of her way and keep her out of my mouth and out of my mind.
It wasn't hard. I was apathetic towards most people. It was simply my disposition as a human and now as a vampire. I didn't interact with people unless they initiated it or if I needed something from them. Apart from Haneul, Dane, Jane, and now Cara, I don't recall having a prolonged conversation with any of the other vampires.
However, when I realized it became difficult to keep Jane out of my mind. I was almost completely sure but I wanted to be completely sure and so I kissed her one day out of the blue.
She didn't kiss me back, but I rationalized that it was probably due to her shock since she didn't use her gift on me or pull away.
I walked away speechless and for the first time since I joined the Volturi, fearing Jane.
I knew I wasn't wrong in my assumption but my curiosity masked my common sense which soon returned to me after my mistake, telling me that perhaps kissing a girl who probably didn't even know your name wasn't a good idea.
Dane laughed continuously for four minutes when I told him what I did. Hanuel was not amused.
I felt stupid, and my mind went back and forth between the decision to apologize profusely next time I crossed paths with Jane or pretend that it didn't happen.
I was intent on making sure that we never crossed paths again for eternity despite living in the same castle. I was prepared to go to great lengths to do so.
However, soon after, a note presented itself in my room, giving me direction to a particular room.
The note was cold and impersonal, so naturally, I assumed it most likely Jane's .
I still went despite my prior mindset of trying to ignore her for the rest of eternity.
It was both the best and worst decision I made in my life