Hi everyone!

Warning, this chapter contains discussion of mostly emotional and slightly physical child abuse (because Howard Stark's A* Parenting am I right?). The content of that comes from canon, tie in comics, fanon and my own twisted imagination.

What's happened so far?
- Everyone's living in Malibu together
- Tony and Loki find Captain America
- Steve wakes up in the 21st century, he comes downstairs to find a) a room full of people (some of which are blue) b) that most of his friends are dead. Fun times! :|
- Tony decides to befriend Steve to spite Howard
- On the way to visit Peggy, Steve learns something about Howard that he refuses to believe.
- (Also, stuff about Loki and Laufey, Hydra, the ER bridge, and Sleipnir starting school)

Thank you to all you awesome people reading, reviewing, following and favouriting!

12/08/19

Chapter Ten - Sins of the Father

"You and Steve had an argument, didn't you?" Sleipnir inquired, coming back into the room after brushing his teeth.

"How do you figure?" Tony, who was currently being used as a mountain for an intrepid stegosaurus plushie courtesy of Fenrir, asked.

"You've been all prickly since you, Dad and Steve got back from seeing Peggy. Plus Jarvis told me," he said, picking up a teddy from off the floor and climbing into bed next to his siblings, who were ready for Tony to start reading tonight's bedtime story.

"We were just being stupid, I'm sure we'll make up soon," Tony lied and leaned over to ruffle Sleipnir's hair.

Sleipnir stared at him suspiciously before shrugging and gesturing for Tony to get a move on with the story. Hoot was arguably a very childish book for a boy the equivalent of fourteen years old to enjoy, but Tony knew that Sleipnir loved stories and in a sense the kid was catching up on the childhood he'd never been able to have, trapped in the stables by Odin.

Sleipnir was hardly as enthralled by the story as the triplets were ("Whoooo, whooooooo!" went Fenrir, pretending to be Hoot, the owl), but he seemed calm and contented as he hugged his bear and snuggled next to Hel, listening to the tale.

As per usual this evening Tony's thoughts strayed to his father. His father would never have deigned to read him a bedtime story. His mother had, once or twice, but it was mainly Jarvis who had done so, probably behind Howard's back.

He also had no memories of being able to hug a stuffed animal at the triplets' age, and he was sure his father would have been apoplectic had Tony owned any at fourteen, he wouldn't have allowed any namby-pamby baby's toys for his heir. As he watched the kids while he read he knew his father had been wrong about this. The kids created fantastic adventures with their stuffed toys and he knew they provided great comfort to all of them, particularly to Sleipnir, who often felt overwhelmed by things. Perhaps if Tony had had a few of them he wouldn't have had to build his own friend in the form of Dummy. Now, that was a depressing thought.

"Tony!" Jormungandr whined, tugging at his shirt. "You've stopped reading the story! I want to see if Hoot makes herself a new nest!"

Tony snapped back into reality. "Sorry." Then he frowned in confusion. "But, you know Hoot makes herself a nest, you've read this one before."

"It might be different this time," Jormungandr said earnestly.

Tony rolled his eyes and continued with the story. Unsurprisingly, it had not changed since he last read it.

"Well," he said once he'd reached the end, shutting the book and stretching. "There we are. Sweet dreams kiddos."

"Awww," Hel moaned. "But I'm not tired yet, can't we have another one?"

"Another story?" Tony said in mock horror. "But Miss Death if you stay up any later you'll turn into a pumpkin!"

"It's only like 7.30." Hel rolled her eyes.

"Yep," Tony said. "But your Dad said 7.30's bedtime and he's gonna want you all snuggled down and fast asleep by the time he gets back from seeing your grandpa."

"But that's not a good enough reason," Hel complained. "He wouldn't know. Besides, you're basically our father too, or dad, or maybe pops…"

"Papa?" Jormungandr suggested.

"So you can make the rules too," Hel finished.

"It should be Iron Dad. ID for short." Sleipnir said, then looked at Tony anxiously. "At least… if you're okay with that?"

"Uh," Tony stuttered, feeling himself choking up. What were these kids thinking? He was Tony Stark, he was not the parenting type. If Howard had taught him anything it was that Starks should never be parents. Besides, what would Loki think? He had been through hell for his children and here was Tony, who had only known the kids half a year or so, just waltzing in. Tony had absolutely no right to be these kids' parent and Loki would probably be very upset when he found out. But… he couldn't ignore how much he loved the kids, how he cared for them how he had imagined a good parent would as a child. But no. It was silly. A silly dream. Tony had no right.

"Iron Dad's systems are malfunctioning," Jormungandr said seriously, prodding Tony in the forehead several times.

"My systems are malfunctioning, what about yours?" Tony laughed, slightly to loudly to seem real, and brushed Jormungandr's finger away. "I'm… honoured that you think that about me, but you already have a dad, and what would he think about this?"

"Yes, but why have one dad, when you could have two dads?" Fenrir asked.

"And don't be silly!" Hel admonished. "I think father would be very pleased about you being our Iron Dad. Anyway, you're going to get married and live happily ever after, just like in a fairy tale, so you'll have to be our dad at some point."

"How do you know that?" Tony asked, after all, they hadn't even gotten engaged yet, who knew if Loki would want to stick around with him for that long. Happiness never seemed to last for Tony Stark.

"Because it's obvious!"

"It is… kinda obvious…" Sleipnir said apologetically. "But we've been making you uncomfortable, and we're sorry about that, we'll go to bed now. Sorry for calling you Iron Dad."

"Hey, hey, no, it's okay," Tony said quickly, hating how upset the kids looked and knowing, deep down, that he really did want to be Iron Dad. "I'll be your Iron Dad," until Loki tells me what he thinks of that, he added in his head. "I'm just surprised that you wanted me to be."

"Why would we not want you to be?" Jormungandr asked, confusion evident on his face. "You're the best."

"Huh, thanks," Tony said, a lump in his throat. "Well, uh, I still think you need to go to sleep now so night night," he said quickly, getting up off the bed and adjusting the covers.

"But we don't want you to go!" Fenrir complained

"Tough luck wolfie you've made me your dad and I agree that uh," he checked his watch, "ten to eight is definitely bedtime."

"You could at least sing us ACDC?" Hel suggested.

Tony complied, singing a much more child friendly version of one of his favourite songs, before kissing the children goodnight and leaving the room to a chorus of "Goodnight Iron Dad!"

Well, how about that.

-Q-

Tony took a calming breath as he poured himself some scotch, he didn't drink much, not anymore, but with all that had happened today he thought he deserved a glass. And that's all it would be, a glass to steady his nerves, because he wasn't his father, and he wasn't going to get drunk when there were children in the house.

He lifted himself up onto a stool at the breakfast bar and sat staring at the amber coloured liquid for who knew how long. The kids wanted him to be a father figure, were they insane? He was better than his father, he knew he was, but there was only so much better a Stark could be. Surely he was going to end up hurting them in some way, shape or form.

He heard heard a movement in the doorway and startled, turning round to see Jane in the doorway.

"Hey," she said softly. "Me, Thor and Bruce are watching a movie if you'd like to join. Steve isn't with us, don't worry, he's in his room."

"No thanks," Tony shook his head and sighed, "I probably need to talk to the Captain anyway, before Loki gets back. Jarvis, are the kids asleep yet?"

"Fenrir has stopped tossing and turning so I believe that he may finally be drifting off," Jarvis supplied. "The others are definitely asleep though."

"Cool, so, give it ten minutes," Tony muttered to himself.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Jane asked. "I spoke to Steve earlier, when you were playing with the kids, and he told me his side of the story. For what it's worth, I don't agree with him, I don't think you were lying about what Howard did."

Tony smiled weakly. "Thanks, I think you might be one of the only ones that would."

"Steve'll come round, don't worry. He's just trapped in the past right now, scared of all these changes."

"I guess," Tony said noncommittally. "But you should go enjoy your film, I'll be fine here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really, I need to psych myself up for this conversation."

"Okay," Jane said, grimacing reluctantly. "But you know that if you need anything, I'm here, right?"

"Sure," Tony said, before swivelling round and turning back to his drink. He heard Jane's footsteps getting fainter as she walked away.

He did not want to have this conversation with Steve. But he had to. He had to because he had to be responsible and he had to have this out the way before Loki got home so he didn't send his love into a panic if things got slightly out of control. He couldn't allow this bad blood to stay between him and Steve. Better to finish things sooner rather than later.

He took a shaky breath and brought the glass to his lips, gripping it so hard at the back of his mind he was surprised it didn't crack. He didn't want to think about his father, but he was precisely what he needed to think about if he was going to try to explain to Steve what Howard was really like.

He grimaced as the bitter liquid warmed his throat. It wasn't at the taste of the drink, no, he had become immune to that years ago, but rather the thought of the conversation to come. What he had feared, what Howard had told him would happen if the great Captain America ever met him would come to pass. His childhood hero would reject him, would see how worthless and disappointing Tony was.

Well, thought Tony, taking another sip, fuck that. If that was what was going to happen he was going to face it, he was going to face it head on. He was Tony Stark and he was Iron Man. And now, also, he was Iron Dad, and more confused than ever at how Howard could have treated a child in the way he did. He was going to be a better father to his boyfriend's kids than Howard ever was to his biological son so Howard could suck it.

He drained the glass and looked up at the ceiling.

"Hey J, is Fenrir definitely asleep now?"

"He is, sir."

"Awesome. Tell Steve we need to talk and for him to come down to the workshop stat."

Tony walked purposefully towards the workshop, it was at the bottom of the house, so it would be less likely that the kids would hear and wake up if their discussion got a little heated. If Tony were honest with himself, he wanted things to get a little heated, he was raring for a fight, he wanted to scream at Steve till his voice went hoarse, to make him understand.

Still, he was trying to be responsible, and hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

It came to that.

-Q-

"Jarvis said you wanted to talk," Steve said, standing awkwardly in the doorway of the workshop.

"Yes, I did," Tony replied. "You should come in. I figure we should probably talk about what happened earlier."

Steve stepped inside and stood with his arms folded, staring at Tony seriously. Tony would never admit it out loud, but it was intimidating. Good thing fear only made Tony Stark throw himself into a fight harder.

"You mean when you lied to me," Steve said evenly.

"I didn't lie."

"Tony please, I don't know what weird attention seeking ploy that was but no father would give their child drugs, that's insane."

"Is it?" Tony snapped, already feeling his resolve to have a calm conversation failing. "A good father certainly wouldn't, but my father wasn't a good father. You may have known him back in the war, Steve, but when I knew him he was not the man you knew, not around me anyway."

"Tony, you're being unreasonable. Please, just tell me you lied and we can just make this water under the bridge. You don't have to ruin the memory of my friend and your father for no good reason."

"No good reason?" Tony spluttered. "I didn't want to tell you, I wanted you to have your nice memories of him, unscathed, from when he was some genius american scientist who arguably saved the world. But then you went and pushed. So you're gonna shut up and listen to what I have to say."

Steve rolled his eyes, looking incredulously at Tony. "Fine," he said. "Fine, I'm listening. Go ahead."

"Good," Tony replied, setting his jaw. "Right. Well, my father growing up wasn't the Howard you knew. Sure, he might have been, at science conferences, in front of the press, around all his ambitious 'friends'. At home, he wasn't charming, he wasn't debonaire, he wasn't kind. He was cold, he was ruthless, never once did he say he even liked me."

"I'm sure he must have," Steve interrupted. "At least he must have thought you knew. Besides, all fathers are a bit… emotionally distant."

Tony bit back a laugh. "Emotionally distant is one thing, irritation seeming to border on hatred is another."

"Please-"

"Shut up, Steve. He never cared for me, he never needed to, because he already had the son he wanted, his greatest creation. You."

Steve slammed his hand down on the workbench next to him and Tony flinched. "So that's what this is about?" he demanded. "You got a little jealous as a child and now you've twisted it into this?"

Tony took a step forward and got right into Steve's face. "I haven't twisted anything, Steve, I know what happened. And I didn't get a little jealous, I got a lot jealous. I adored you as a kid, I heard so many stories about you and I thought you were wonderful. That was before it was all Captain America is so much better than you, Anthony, Captain America would be so disappointed in you, Anthony, if Steve Rogers could see you now he'd be disgusted at how pathetic you are, Anthony. Ugh. And then he was off all the time on his stupid, futile missions to find you and God freaking help me if he remembered my existence after coming back from one of those missions because he never failed to remind me how much of a disappointment I was and how I would never, ever be good enough."

Fury radiated off of him as he glared at his former idol.

"Why did you even find me then? If you hate me so much?" Steve demanded. "What was the point?"

Tony flew towards the truth, vindictiveness searing through his veins, because screw it he was past filtering things anyway. "Because I wanted to do something that he couldn't."

"So that's the only reason you found me? To one up your father?"

"Yes! It was!"

Tony felt a twinge of regret as he looked at the heartbreak breaking through the anger on Steve's face.

"So. I'm here. With people who don't give a damn about me. Because you wanted to one up your long dead dad?"

"Yes." Tony said, before realising what he'd just said and thinking maybe he might have gone too far that time. "No… that's not true. We do care about you. Well, I cared about you until you started defending my father."

"Grow up," Steve snarled. "What he said to you might have hurt but he was clearly trying to get you to be a better person. You're 40 years old Tony, you should know what tough love is. And so what if he kept leaving to find me? At least he was a decent enough man to keep me from freezing there for eternity."

"Steve, he cared about you because you were his fucking project, a beautiful experiment."

"That's not true." Steve yelled, pushing Tony away from him. Tony stumbled but kept his balance, then he snarled and launched himself at Captain America. Steve caught his arms easily and held away Tony as he struggled to get close enough to hit the captain.

"What are you gonna do?" Tony taunted, a slightly manic gleam in his eye. "Give me something to cry about, show me how weak I am like Dad always said you would?"

"No," Steve said, looking at Tony like he was insane and shoving him away again.

Tony blinked at stared at the captain in confusion as he suddenly found himself a few feet away. "What?"

"Jesus Christ, Tony, what is wrong with you?" Steve demanded.

"I'll tell you what's wrong with me, my goddamn father!"

"Okay," Steve said, taking a deep breath. "Okay, just, for the sake of argument, let's say I believe you. Tell me exactly what he did to make you hate him so much."

"Fine, yeah, I will, let's start at the beginning. I'll run you through what was happening when you were still a capsicle," Tony said shakily, feeling thoroughly tilted off balance by Steve's change of tune.

"So, Dad basically ignored me for my whole childhood. He wanted me out of his sight, which sucked because I was a really smart kid and I had stuff to show him. He was interested when I made my first circuit board at four years old, but only, it seemed, because of the press it would give him. When we were alone he told me my circuit board was basic and not up to much, that I needed to do better.

"It was a bad idea to interrupt him when he was working, even though he was working all the time, it never ended well. But you know," Tony shrugged, trying to give off an air of nonchalance, and pushed one of the puffy bits of his hair back so Steve could see his hairline without any shadow getting in the way, "getting a torque wrench thrown at my head at least meant he was paying attention to me, so I guess that was better than nothing, right?"

He smirked at Steve's shocked expression, at last, some vindication.

"I suppose," he continued with a much calmer air than he had a minute ago. "It was probably better when he ignored me, but I didn't want to accept that as a kid. It was great when he allowed me to work in the workshop with him, only, sometimes he'd hand me things, and they'd be a bit too hot, or a bit too sharp, but God forbid that I made any kind of fuss about that. He didn't want wimps working with him. Now you know why I don't like being handed things." He shrugged. "Though, I guess that's partly because I'm a billionaire and people have tried to hand me bombs and shit before, can't give the old man all the credit.

"And now," Tony said airily, finding a certain glee at ripping Steve's perception of the man apart. "We come to the alcohol, and then the drugs. You see, as Howard always liked to remind me that 'Stark men are made of iron' - ironic now, I know, because I'm Iron Man - and what stark men also needed to do was handle their alcohol! So, at six years old, he made me have my first drink. I don't remember much apart from feeling very ill after that.

"But anyway, I was drinking regularly several years after that. A twelve year old with a taste for alcohol. But dear old Dad didn't only take alcohol to get him through the day, no, sometimes he thought his creative processes were running dry and he decided to get a little inspiration though drugs. I mean, perhaps you were right when you said he didn't get me addicted, he only made me take them a couple times before I went off to college. But I suppose his lack of care did make me kinda a desperate, clingy fourteen year old at MIT, desperate to be popular, so I kinda fell in with the party crowd. Lots of people doing drugs there, lots of people who'll get you high just to manipulate you and steal your money.

"So, I think we've covered all of the basic things though really we've only just scratched the surface, any thoughts, Cap," Tony stood accusatory in front of his childhood hero, feeling the adrenaline run through his veins, triumphant.

"Where was your mother throughout all of this?" Steve demanded, horrified.

"Oh Howard stressed her out so she spent as much time away from the mansion being as socialite as possible. I don't think she wanted a kid trailing along after her."

"Right." said Steve. "And your friends?"

"I made a friend," Tony said, completely blasé. "Dummy, he's over there in the corner. And I made friends with Rhodey in college, he was cool."

"Howard still gave you the company though," Steve said weakly.

"And do you really think I'd have gotten the company if you'd have been around?" Tony retorted. "And are you still defending him, after all I've just told you!?"

"I wouldn't have wanted the company," Steve was clearly exasperated. "Just give me time to come to terms with this, I want to check some things out."

"You don't believe me, do you? After I just bared my soul to you?"

"I'm sorry if I'm finding it hard to believe that my friend turned into a completely different person?"

"I thought we were friends, at least I did until earlier, doesn't that earn trust?"

"I met him during a war, that forges a bond."

"I would have thought defrosting someone forges a bond too?"

"I wouldn't bring that up considering you did it for completely selfish purposes!"

"Well I-"

"What?" Tony turned to see Loki flying down the stairs, looking like some kind of avenging angel. "In the nine realms? Is going on here?"

Loki looked terrified but also simultaneously apoplectic with rage. Tony was at a loss for words.

"Well?" Loki demanded.

"We had a difference of opinion on Howard," Tony said, shooting an icy look towards Steve.

"Well, that's very easily sorted, he was an arse, case closed," Loki snapped. "Now we're going to bed. Steve, get your priorities straight."

And the next thing Tony knew he was in their bedroom, having been teleported there by a shaking Loki.

"You don't think I was too harsh on him, do you?" Loki bit his lip and continued quickly. "I don't like talking to people like that, only…"

"Lokes, I literally told him the only reason we found and defrosted him was to one up my dad, I think you're good." Tony replied, hugging him tightly, realising that they were both shaking now. "Come on, let's go to bed, I want to hold you, be crushed by a mountain of blankets, and forget about everything that just happened."

I hope that chapter was enjoyable :D

Please let me know if you liked it :)

I kinda hated Steve a little bit in this chapter but I do really like him in general and I feel sorry for him so he will see the error of his ways.

Next up: Anything from
- Darcy and Frigga finally come to some kind of agreement with the Asgardian nobles
- Sleipnir is kinda a little shit (and does magic?)
- Loki conforts Sleipnir about the short lifespan of Tony (and they think about finding a solution)
- Everyone prepares for the announcement of the E-R Bridge
- Tony and Steve sort out their differences
Idk what is coming first tbh but it will be 2 or 3 of those things

If anyone's interested, the children's book Tony read is Hoot by Jane Hissey, it was one of my favourite books as a young child.
Also, my undying thanks to Sleipnir. After over a year of internal debate I still had no idea what Tony's dad name should be and when I was writing this chapter Sleipnir was just like Iron Dad and I was like yes! Perfect! Thank you!

Also, I've started a writing blog for my original work and other writing stuff called deborah-writes on tumblr. It has my irl name on there but whatever. If you guys know me in real life you've read this far so you can't judge me!