30th November

After the rather frantic and distressing events of the last two se'ennight, things over the next couple of days seemed rather anticlimactic. Regular messages from Longbourn reported that Mrs Bennet was improving daily and was now out of danger, Lydia Bennet actually began reading one of the improving tomes her father suggested, and Elizabeth resumed her daily walks, often walking with Mr Darcy for a time in the gardens, each meeting leading to a greater understanding of each other as they talked. However, this period of calm was set to change.

The day Mr Collins had signed the contract, Mr Darcy had written to his aunt to explain why there would be a delay in Mr Collins' return, so it was with some trepidation he went out to meet the large carriage, one he recognised as belonging to his aunt, that drew up outside Netherfield just before noon that day.

Mr Bingley was visiting Longbourn, and Miss Bingley was still in her room, so he was assured of some privacy at least while he greeted his aunt.

'Aunt, you should not have come. I would not have you exposed to smallpox. Do not leave the carriage and return immediately to Rosings.'

'Nonsense, nephew. I will not catch it, I was vaccinated some years ago now,' Lady Catherine said as stood in the doorway of her carriage. 'Your hand, please.'

He took her hand and helped her descend from her carriage as she continued, 'All my servants have been too, so you need not worry about them, either.'

'But… Mr Collins told us that you said he should not be vaccinated.'

'Mr Collins is an idiot,' Lady Catherine said, with a wry smile as she shook out the creases from her gown. 'I said a lot of nonsense things to him to find out if there was actually any common sense inside his head. He just parroted the nonsense back to me and anyone else he met. In the end I decided his only hope was for him to find a sensible woman for a wife - although I must admit to having grave doubts that anyone of any sense would accept him. I had hopes that she would temper the worst of his idiocy. If nothing else, she would be better company for me than her husband. Come, give me your arm and let us go into the house. We can speak more comfortably there.'

They entered the house and Mr Darcy settled his aunt in the drawing room, calling for his cousin and refreshments, before returning to attend her.

'I've ordered some tea and asked Fitzwilliam to join us.'

'My other nephew is here as well? Well, it seems Hertfordshire is the place to be. I am so glad I decided to join the party.'

The tea tray was brought in and left on the table beside his aunt. As she poured a cup, Colonel Fitzwilliam entered.

'Aunt! What brings you here? You should not have come.'

'Let us not start that again! I have already explained my presence to my satisfaction. I am perfectly safe. Now come, sit, and let me pour you some tea.'

They accepted their cups and sat as ordered, but not before Mr Darcy closed the door. His aunt raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing. She knew he would speak when ready.

'Aunt, you sent Mr Collins here to find a wife. He said it was on your orders that he come here and "do whatever it takes" to secure one.'

She sighed. 'The man really is an idiot. What has he done now?'

The Colonel stroked his chin, 'It's a pretty sordid tale, to tell the truth.'

'I was married to your uncle. I think I can cope with sordid after everything he and his not-so-private concerns put me through.' She smiled and gestured at him, 'I did not know a Colonel in His Majesty's service could blush.'

Colonel Fitzwilliam rolled his eyes. 'Darcy, you tell her.'

Mr Darcy sighed. 'If I must.' Between sips of his tea, he related the entire story of Mr Collins' ill-fated visit to Netherfield.

Lady Catherine was horrified. 'I could not have known he would do this. I did tell him he must marry, to set a good example in the parish, but he was supposed to come and spend time with Mr Bennet and his family, become acquainted with the daughters and find one that suited, all in the hopes he would return engaged.' She sighed and put down her cup of now-cold tea. 'It was a good opportunity for one of the Bennet girls to secure their family's future, after all. But to have done… that. The poor child.' She paused, staring off into space for a few moments. 'No-one could have expected or predicted this behaviour from him - it is just not normal…' She shook her head and, sounding almost desperate, said, 'I cannot have a man like this in change of my parish and the mortal souls of the parishioners. What can I do?'

'We have already gone some way to helping the Bennet family; it is not common knowledge as yet so please do not discuss this with anyone else, but the entail now passes to one of Mr Bennet's daughters on his death – they will all now have a home for as long as they need one. But regarding the living; he cannot be removed unless he chooses to resign or loses his status as a clergyman.' Mr Darcy paused for a moment, considering. 'The only option I see we have, is to speak with the Archbishop. He is the only one who can revoke Mr Collins' ordination, and then your living will become vacant again. I suggest you investigate more into the background of your next choice for incumbent.'

Lady Catherine considered his words as she finished her tea. Putting down the cup and saucer with a decided clink, she said, 'I suppose I must speak with the man. Please request of your friend if I might remain here for the next two nights. I will leave Monday morning to speak with Teddy. I happen to know he is in London for the next week.'

Mr Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam looked at her and then each other. The Colonel shrugged and Mr Darcy said, 'Teddy, aunt?'

'Edward Sutton, the Archbishop of Canterbury. Your Godfather, Fitzwilliam,' she replied with a frown. 'We have been friends since childhood. I will speak with him and see what we can come up with to remedy the issue of the living and to deal with Mr Collins.'

She stood and walked about the room, examining the furniture. 'Please call in some footmen, I wish to rearrange the seating.'

'Aunt, you cannot just walk into someone else's home and start moving their furniture around!' exclaimed Colonel Fitzwilliam.

'Must I give away all my secrets?' Lady Catherine huffed. She regarded him for a moment, then threw her hands up. 'If I am to interview Mr Collins, I need to have the upper hand, and that means I need to recreate my throne room.' She looked at both her nephews with a wry smile. 'Yes, I know that is what you call it. I arrange my seating that way for a very good reason. It intimidates fools like Mr Collins and I think what Mr Collins needs now is some intimidation. Now, stop arguing with me and ring for assistance or I will make you move the furniture yourselves.'

Fascinated, Mr Darcy looked at his cousin, who simply shrugged and said, 'Aunt, you could teach interrogation techniques to my Generals.'

Lady Catherine simply smiled and inclined her head.

With a sigh of resignation Mr Darcy moved to the bell pull.