Raquel couldn't help but feel disgusted at herself after the training session. She let her guard down and allowed the beast inside to take over and everyone saw it. Sergio saw it. She let the cold water splashed on her face hoping it will erase what just happened.

After a few minutes, someone knocked on the door. She ignored it at first but the knocking won't stop and it's irritating her ears. She hastily opened the door and saw Sergio looking back at her but the look she saw on his face earlier is gone. He is now filled with worry and concern for her.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

His voice is so gentle that it soothes her nerves.

"Yeah…well, not really", she answered.

"Come with me. We need to put some cream on your bruise", he said.

Raquel followed Sergio back to their bedroom. He said the others remained in the field to continue training. They are having too much fun learning knife tricks. She lifted her top to show the bruise on her stomach after Marseille had kicked her. It's quite big but it doesn't seem to bother her. Sergio gently put the cream on her bruise before proceeding to the bruise on her face.

"I'm sorry", she whispered while averting her gaze from him. "I shouldn't have lost it like that. I didn't know I went too far. After Marseille got carried away, I got pissed and I wanted to hurt him back. I'm sorry", she added.

Sergio put away the cream and sat next to her. He can feel her discomfort and shame. He wanted to ask her but he doesn't want her to feel worse. He wanted to comfort her and make her feel better so he just sat there and waited for her to talk.

"Remember when I said I was a part of CNI secret ops back then?" she asked and he nodded. "They instructed as to extract information to the terrorist we will able to catch. It was vital, they say. Any information might lead us to the culprit of the bombing. Anyone who fights back, we got green light to eliminate. At first, adrenaline rush was all I felt. The terrorists definitely fought back so every kill count was justified. We just defended ourselves. It's not really murder. I lost many nights thinking about the blood on my hands until it got easier. I was rather good at it. One day, we managed to catch one of them. He was around thirty and he was tough. We used all the negotiation technique we learned at the academy to break him but none worked", she started.

He held her hand when he saw it trembling.

"CNI came and gave us the green light to go rough and as rough as possible. We needed to make him talk. Alicia was rather excited. She volunteered to go first. She used gas, isolation, pain. It was hard to watch. The man still wouldn't talk. They asked me to go. They showed me pictures of the terrorists' victims throughout the years, the women and the children. They said it was necessary for the greater good and I forced myself to believe that. I tracked down his family in their village, took some pictures and showed it to him and for the first time we saw him displayed an emotion. After which, I started messing with his head, making him think how badly his family's life was in danger. I pressed him for information again and again until his will broke. He cried and begged and he spilled it all out, everything he knows about the group, the future plans. We got everything we needed and more", she continued and then wiped the tears that escaped her eyes.

"Breathe", he whispered and she obeyed.

"Soon after that, CNI got every single member of that terrorist group as well as their leader. I talked to my superiors about reducing the man's sentence since he cooperated in the end and gave vital information to us but they wouldn't listen. They kept him there for a week without food and water like he had been forgotten. One morning, I came in to bring him something to eat. I couldn't just leave him there. He would die of starvation or dehydration or both but when I got there, they were moving his body out of the place. He's dead. The orders came directly from above. Everyone has to be executed. You know I promised that man that he would be able to see his son again even in prison. I would made sure that his son would be granted a visit and they killed him", she went on and this time she didn't bother wiping away her tears.

Sergio's chest tightened that it's getting harder to breathe.

"When the mission was over, I signed an NDA and requested immediate transfer to Madrid. No matter what they offered me or how much the money was, I refused to accept it. CNI tried to talk me out of transferring. They said they could use a good interrogating officer but I couldn't take it. I never told anything to Mama but she felt it especially during the nights I would wake up screaming", Raquel looked at him this time. "Today, I felt the same thrill again, same adrenaline rush, same eagerness to inflict pain when I fought Marseille. I've been assigned to negotiating tasks for years that I forgot I have that part of me who is not afraid to take lives and when you came to me earlier and asked me what was that all about, I saw the look in your eyes. It was the same look I've given myself back then after that man was killed. I wasn't a good person, Sergio. I was part of the system that captured Rio and torturing him right now. I was there. I took vital part of it", she added.

He tightened his grip on her so he can pull her back to the present as her gaze turned inward.

"I should've told you before but I guess I had pushed it too far at the back of my head and pretended like it never happened. I moved on with my life and tried to be the good cop but I wasn't. I remembered now that I wasn't", she finished with a sob.

"That's not true. You are good, Raquel. It wasn't your fault. You did your job. You followed orders thinking the result will help you save hundreds, even thousands of people and it did. You cared about that man and you intended to keep your word. It wasn't on you that they decided to murder him in cold blood. Earlier, I wasn't mad at you or anything else. I was worried. You know I can never judge you even if I tried. Don't ever think less about yourself because you're not", he disagreed.

"How can you still see that after what I told you and what you saw earlier?" she asked.

"…because I know your heart. I've always known your heart. You should too", he answered and pressed a kiss on her forehead.