Chapter 3
I'm hopeless. Yeah that's sums it up. I've been with Leah for a total of four years. It doesn't even sound right when I say it myself. I swear I'm going to put my own ass in counseling for this. Rebecca calls me from Hawaii pleading for me to make myself happy. It's like I'm hurting so many people just because I'm with her… and I'm with her because I don't want to hurt her. It's a crazy mess that I'm in. I was so tempted to sleep with Tyna one day she came over upset because she had a fight with her boyfriend. She clung to me and tried to kiss me but I pushed her away. My dick was hard as shit and had a mind of its own remembering how good she felt. But I couldn't… That's not me. Even if I'm not in love with Leah I can't cheat on her. Not physically any way. I dream of a unknown woman all the time that makes me happy. It took all of my will power to push Tyna away that day. She claims that she loves her man… but she always runs to me when they have a fight. Shit we broke up so that she could be with him. She needs to figure out what she wants. Weeks later she made up with her boyfriend and he asked her to marry her. I just hope that she's happy and getting married for the right reasons.
I on the other hand… I just accepted my sentence… because I'm stupid and put myself in numbing situations. I'm happy for Jared and Kim. They finally got married. Kim asked for Leah not to come to the wedding… So that was a bit awkward. I went alone… But danced with a few women that were eyeing me like a juicy steak. Leah was mad at me because I went to the wedding. Jared and Kim were my friends not hers. Plus Kim basically can't stand Leah. And Ava would basically hit her if she said anything smart to her… since their last encounter wasn't that pleasant. Let's just say that it was awkward and dark that Leah wasn't invited to one of my best friend's wedding. Ava knows the most of how unhappy I am. I don't burden my sisters and Quil that much anymore… Mainly because it stresses Billy out.
Today was really busy at work. We had a client that we promised that we would get his car done by the end of the day. It needed so much work, but officer Blackwater was a good friend of the family. I told Leah that I would be at the shop all day and she got mad at me and snapped at me from out of the blue. Well no mood change is really out of the blue with her. I know that she goes from sweet to crazy in seconds. Quil may just be right about the whole bi polar thing. Leah called me so I answered since she usually just text me when it's not really important. Come to find out it wasn't that important at all. She wanted me to take her to Seattle to the mall to buy her something. I guess it was on sale… the way she was acting like it was the end of the world.
"Leah… I can't make it. I told you that I'm busy."
"Oh my God Jake… You frickin' own the shop. You can leave whenever the fuck you want. You just don't wanna take me!"
"My God woman... What's the emergency?"
"Coach is having a sale!"
"Huh?"
"Coach!"
"Coach?"
"The fucking pocketbook."
"Whatever…. You know I don't follow that stuff. You're the one who's obsessed with overpriced things." Leah huffed loudly.
"Well… Can you take me?"
"Ahhh…"
My mind went blank trying to think of a way to just say no. Leah was giving me a headache. I knew that she was going to ask me for the money if I didn't take her. I didn't want to give it to her. I actually wanted the nerve to just tell her it wasn't working at all without fearing that she would fall apart.
"Jacob!"
"Huh… Oh." I was quickly brought back to the conversation.
"Can you take me or at least cash ap me?"
"Ahhh… how much is this pocketbook? I internally cringed knowing that it would be crazy.
"Not sure exactly. Its what's ever there. Or left there by now. Everything is 30% off.. so 400…500.?"
Nope no I'm not doing it. Plus how can she expect me to give her this when she calls me with an attitude like my job is not important.
"Leah… that's bit much. I really don't have time to talk right now... I have to get back to work."
"Don't rush me off the phone. So are you gonna give me that money or what?"
"Wow… it's going to be a or what. I gotta go." Oh my God she gets on my last nerves. I'd rather have a root canal than deal with her.
"Oh my God Jake," she growled. "What…. You… Ugg! Fine then."
Leah mumbled something that I couldn't make out because of a drill in the shop. Then she hung up on me. Great. I don't really need this right now.
"Yo, she starting her shit again?" Eric asked.
I sighed
"Yeah man. I'm so fucking stuck
"No you're not.
I sighed then went back to working on officer Blackwater's car trying my best to shake off the conversation. Leah can really be selfish at times… but I guess I already knew that.
Later in the day Quil called me and asked if he could use my Hummer to pick up a big screen TV. I guess a lot of sales were going on today. I said that it was ok so he drove his car to the shop so that I could use it if I had to do anything. After I finished up my jobs I called Leah to tell her that I was on my way. I seriously didn't want to buy it for her. She pissed me off so much on how demanding and rude she was on the phone earlier. Why am I still in this relationship again? Oh that's right… I'm a punk ass or just afraid she'll do something crazy. I really didn't feel like buying her a thing. I kinda talked myself into telling her that I wouldn't buy it. Money is not the issue. I just feel dead inside when it comes to giving her some things, especially when she treats me like shit sometimes. But I probably would cave in anyway.
Leah didn't answer her cell so I just decided to take Quil's car to the reservation and drop by her house. It was around dusk but I was tired as if it were midnight. I had a long day… and I just wanted to relax. It wasn't always a guarantee that I would be able to relax around Leah because she can be so high strung at times. I was hoping that she would be better. Especially if I did cave and buy her this damn bag. That should buy me some time of just chilling on the sofa without having a care in the world. Maybe I could ask for a back rub and she won't make up an excuse of why she's not in the mood. She would flip if I told her the same thing. But I usually just do it without asking. That's because I know she's always stressed out all of the time. Leah can't keep a job to save her life. She's always getting fired because she says something smart to her boss or co-workers.
I slowed down once I got to her house. My mouth opened when I looked up at her porch. Leah was kissing all over this white guy. What the fuck! I wanted to get out of the car and yell at her. I was so pissed that I felt my entire body heat up. How dare she do this to me… After all of the things I've done for her… Put up with... Tortured myself so that she could be happy. I wanted to stop the car… but something just told me to drive. Has she been cheating on my all of this time? My stomach started to feel sick. But then I realized that no matter how mad I was… that this was my way out. Finally I could leave her and not feel fucking guilty doing so.
I dropped Quil's car off and picked up my Hummer. I told him what happened but I really just wanted to go home. He didn't sound that shocked. With her record I could see why. I told him that I would talk to him later on tonight. I was starting to feel ill. I knew if I stayed all of the gang would be there in seconds… and I wasn't in the mood for it now. I really didn't feel like hearing a lot of I told you so's. My head was in a weird place and I just wanted the peace and quiet of my house. I needed to think. When I got home my phone rang so much that I just put it on mute. Embry, Paul, and Eric called me. I'll talk to them later. I felt bad when I ignored Rebecca's call. I wasn't in the mood yet. Shit… I even had tears in my eyes… But didn't know why. I should be happy as hell that I can end this crazy shit now. I guess I was just pissed off that I allowed this to happen to me. So much was running through my mind all at once. I thought I was gonna go mad at one point and just scream. I realized that I did need to talk to someone. I thought about who I could call. I didn't have to think long because Ava's face popped in my head. She was my best friend… And I really needed her now. When I called her she already knew. Her husband Eric knew… so obviously he told her. I'm pretty sure everyone knows by now. I was afraid to even look at my facebook. Ava was giving me time to reach out to her if I wanted to talk. Instead of saying I told you so like I expected her to do. She said that she was sorry and that she would be right over. She was going to get her girlfriend to drop her over. I opted to pick her up… but she told me no. While I waited for her I decided to look at my text messages. And just as I thought… Everyone fuckn' knew. My messages went on forever.
"Don't worry about it Man… You deserve better anyway." From Sam
"Good riddens!" From Quil
"Fuckin bitch!" From Paul
"Let's got to the titty bar." from Embry
"I'll have a drink for ya bro." from Eric
"Aww… Jake call me." from Tyna
"I'm sorry Jake. Call your sister when you wanna talk." from Rachel
"Holy Shit!" From Kim
"I'm sorry man." from Jared
"Feed her ass to the tigers Carol Baskin style." Embry added.
I have to admit that Embry's last message did make me slightly chuckle while in rage. I put my phone down because I didn't want to read anymore. I closed my eyes and just shook my head. I will feel better about this. Right now I just feel… Lost.
Ava arrived in around thirty minutes. That left me thirty minutes to wallow in my despair. Going over and over in my head of the things I could have done differently in my life. When I heard a car drive up I sprung up from the sofa. I smiled once I saw it was her. We sat down and talked for a long time. I even let myself cry in front of her. I wasn't crying because Leah cheated on me. I was basically crying because I was so blind and stupid. I hated crying in front of her… anybody actually. The only times I really broke down and cried as an adult was when the pressure of losing my mom in that car accident really crushes me . That happened more often than I like to admit. I miss my mom so much. I know I lost her when I was a child… But I remember her so vividly. I feel tore up about losing her a lot… But I'm good at hiding my feelings. I know it's wrong… But I feel guilty that she's gone. I was only a child. But if I wasn't sick that night... And the timing could have been different… she wouldn't have been there when it happened.
"Jake… it's gonna be ok."
"God Ava... I just…"
"Honey… It's for the best. You deserve so much better. I promise you… You will be happier without her."
"I don't believe I'm crying over this shit."
"Oh… Jake. You're hurt. I believe you are human… So…" I covered my face and turned the other way. "So you have emotions. I know that you're hurt. I know that you weren't in love with her. But you tried your best to make it work. Believe me… I'm not gonna say I told you so. I just want you to learn from your… Well just trust your gut instincts more… ok." She turned me around to face her. This time her eyes were filled with tears. "I love you like a brother Jake. I've known you since I was… What in middle school? I want you to be happy too. I want you to be happy like I am with Eric. Trust me…. you will know when it's the right person. I knew with Eric. And it didn't matter that he was older than me… and my dad didn't like him. He was my everything… And I risked a lot to be with him. My dad was so angry when I dated him and later moved in with him… But he came around and now they are best buds. I never doubted my love for Eric. He was always it for me. I want you to find someone that you feel the same way about. That you know is it for you. And it would be nice if you found someone who I didn't wanna kick their ass every time I saw them too."
I chuckled in between my cry.
"Well… I would like that too."
"Well then… You're not getting any younger," she teased.
"No… I guess I'm not."
"You know I'm depending on you guys to have kids so I can get used to them. I guess Kim is my safest bet for now... Since Rachel and Paul want to wait."
"Well… If you're waiting for me… It will be some time."
"You never know? True love might be just around the corner for you. Lord knows you deserve it."
"Thanks Ava."
I wiped the tears from my eyes and started to feel a little better. I knew there was hope for me. I just have to look in the right places... Or not look at all and it will come to me. Ava smiled at me and that made me smile. She has stuck with me through so much. I can't imagine not having her in my life as a friend. Eric for that matter either. They are both really close to me and I appreciate them so much. I cleared my throat to say something, but I noticed the faint sound of Leah's Ford focus coming up the road. Fuck.
"Who's that?" Ava asked cautiously… I guess my expression quickly changed.
"Leah," I growled.
"Oh… Do you want me to go somewhere else in the house?"
"No… No you can stay right here. She's not going to be here that long. I'm ending it now. I don't even want her in my fucking house."
"Oh God… I don't know if I can control myself. I may just hall off and smack the shit out of her if she says something bad to you. You know how much I hate her Jake."
"Um… Just stay. I'll meet her outside. And try not to throw any fist tonight."
"Can't promise that."
"Ava… Please just behave."
"You're asking a lot of me Jake."
I sighed and got off of the sofa.
"Stay here… I'll talk to her outside."
"Ok," she said while cracking her knuckles. I huffed and rolled my eyes at her. I wasn't one hundred percent sure that shit wouldn't go down between them… but I wasn't going to let them fight. I just wanted this to be quick and simple… and her out of my life.
I walked to the door and opened it. It was cold enough to see my breath… but I wasn't even thinking about the coldness; except of how cold I was going to be. Nothing was going to have me back down on this. This was going to be the last night that I would feel like a prisoner in a relationship. Leah parked the car and turned off the lights. I wanted to tell her that it was no need for her to even turn off her car; that she would be turning around and driving back up the road… and out of my life. I will finally be able to frickin' breathe. "Hey Jake," she said with a smile as she got out of the car. Her facial expression changed when she looked at me more closely. I guess she could see my expression from my porch lights. I wasn't trying to hide the fact that I was pissed.
"Leah."
"Wa… What's wrong? Are you mad at me because I yelled at you today?"
"No… I'm mad at you because you had some white dude fucking kissing all over you today on your porch."
"Huh… Who told you that?" she asked nervously.
"Don't worry about it," I said as if I didn't even care.
"Well they lied. My neighbors are nosy as hell. Plus that bitch two doors down doesn't like me. A friend did stop over... He didn't stay or anything. The story must have spun off from that. Crazy how rumors start huh."
I softly chuckled to myself… knowing she was lying through her teeth.
"What Jake. I'm not lying. Why would I lie to you? Honey… Really. You're making a big deal out of nothing. You know my neighbors don't like me. They like to start shit. Now they're doing this. Please… Don't feed into it. Baby… I would never cheat on you."
"Really?"
"Really… Come on. You're starting to piss me off not trusting me!"
"I'm starting to piss you off."
"Well yeah."
"Hmmm… Interesting," I said calmly.
Leah huffed.
"Look Jake… Whoever told you was lying… Ok. So let's just drop it. It's chilly… I wanna go inside."
"Um… That's a negative."
"Huh?"
"We're having this discussion here."
"What, can't I go inside... it's frickin' February! Really you're being an ass right now."
"Ok… Then tell me this. Do you lie?"
"What!"
"Do you lie? You said that your neighbors lie to make you look bad. I'm asking do you lie."
"N… No."
"So… There is no chance in hell that you were kissing some white dude this afternoon."
"No… No Jacob I told you that I didn't!"
"Ok… Umm…. How shall I say this? You're a frickin' liar and I'm so glad that I don't have to put up with your shit anymore."
"What! What the fu-"
"I saw you with my own eyes Leah. I was driving Quil's car when I stopped by to see you this afternoon." The color left Leah's face as her mouth opened in shock. "And I saw you kissing all over this dude. I don't even wanna know his fucking name…. That's not even important to me. I don't care if you fucked him… whatever."
"Jake… Um… I'm sorry... He..."
"I said I don't care. He can have you along with all of your bullshit."
"Jake," she cried.
You would think that I would feel sorry for her. I can't stand seeing a woman cry. But my arms stayed at my side… I didn't even wanna touch her.
"It's over Leah. Don't call me… Don't come over. I don't wanna…"
"No… No! You can't leave me!" she screamed.
Leah's face was furious and she started hitting me on my chest. Ava came to the door and yelled out. "Bitch you better get your hands off of him or else!" She looked up at the porch a bit startled. "You need to fucking leave unless you want me to kick your scrawny ass!" Leah stepped back from me and looked up at me.
"Jake."
"Leah… You need to go."
"I love you."
"Well don't."
"I didn't fuck him… I swear."
"Just like you swore you never kissed him in the first place."
"I… I"
"Don't even bother to lie to me anymore Leah... Ok."
"He… He means nothing to me. I promise."
"I can't be with someone who lies to me. I'm sorry. I can't… I can't do this anymore. Shit, I don't love you Leah. Please just go… Please."
It felt like a weight had been lifted off me hearing me say that I don't love her. What I felt for her over the years is hard to explain… but it wasn't love. I didn't even wanna look in her eyes anymore. I just wanted her to leave. And honestly I didn't know if Ava would flip out on her. I could hear her foot tapping the entire time.
"Can't you forgive me Jake?" she asked with her voice quivering.
"I'm sorry... I can't. Plus we're not even healthy for each other. I can't do this anymore. It's gotta stop. I'm glad that I see you for what you are now though."
"Yeah a lying slutty bitch!" Ava called out from the porch.
Leah looked up at the porch and Ava took a step towards us with both of her hands balled up in a fist. "Ava please," I called out. I didn't want them to fight. I just wanted Leah to go home. Ava's eyes narrowed as she glared fiercely at Leah making Leah take a step back from me. "Ok… I'll go," she cried. She looked back up at me with her lips quivering.
"I'm so sorry Jake. Please know that I never wanted to hurt you. I… I love you."
"You don't love me. You love the idea of me. You treated me like shit through the years and I put up with it thinking that you… well. None of this was a healthy relationship. I blame myself for not ending us sooner. Do you ever wonder why so many of your neighbors don't like you or why you get into so many confrontations with strangers?"
"Jake." She cried.
"Something in you changed… and this was before your father died. A large part of me wanted to help you grow or at least get back to the kinder person you were years ago. But I can't do this anymore. I felt trapped for years. I was not happy and you knew that. So many times I tried to end it with us. You had to know that I wasn't happy."
Leah just looked at me in silence. I didn't need to hear a heartfelt apology. I just wanted her to fully understand that this was over.
"I'm…I'm really sorry Jake. I honestly didn't want to hurt you."
"Well you did hurt me... but I'll be ok."
"I'm sorry."
"Well I'm sorry too." Leah went to hug me and I took a step back. "Please don't."
"Yeah back off," Ava called from the porch.
Leah looked at Leah and her face grew frightened. I turned to look at what Ava was doing and saw her slowly walk down the steps.
"It's time for you to go." Ava said calmly in a scary I'm about to do something crazy way. Leah frowned up her face then glanced back up at me.
"I'll… I'll go." Leah said defeated.
"Thank You." Ava said sarcastically. I huffed and knew that this could have gotten worse if Ava snapped on her. Leah turned away from me and finally was about to walk out of my life. That minute lasted forever. The uncomfortable looks… The slow walk back to her car... The red tail lights that slowly disappeared. Then I felt Ava's arms hold me and I exhaled a breath that didn't realize was waiting to come out.
***oooOOOooo***
The weeks tuned into months. I was a free man and felt like the world was lifted off of my shoulders… though Leah did try to call me a few times. I had to explain to her that I didn't want to get back together. I didn't let that change my mood. One day she will get it. A few people saw her with that white guy. I guess they're dating… or she's just using him in some fashion. I really don't fucking care. Now that the word is out that I'm single… women have been approaching me from left and right. My Facebook and IG are flooded with DM's. I've been on a few dates… Nothing major. I could tell from some of the first dates that the girls were a bit selfish or immature. I know a red flag when I see it... definitely now. One girl was really pretty… but at the end of the date it seemed like she was trying to rape me. I had no interest in fucking her. Though some of my friends thought that I was crazy not to. Her face dropped when I told her I didn't want to fuck her. Pretty soon I just got tired and needed a break. I turned down a lot of dates… Mostly because it didn't feel right. Or they just didn't move me to know them any deeper.
Summer was almost over and I haven't had a date in months. I didn't really care though. But I was horny as hell… And nights alone with my hand and lotion wasn't cutting it. But I didn't want to find someone just to fuck. Damn. It gets hard when mostly all of your friends are all sappy and in love. Jared has Kim... Quil has Claire... Eric's been married like forever to Ava and both of my sisters are married. It's just Embry and myself really. Well Embry has the whole res after him… But recently he hasn't been paying anybody any mind. I think he's maturing or something. It's really weird. He's become all philosophical about life and wants kids and shit. Seth doesn't have a steady girlfriend, but he likes one more than the others. I'm just constantly reminded that I'm alone and unhappy. Also reminded that I wasted years on someone who didn't deserve my time. I justify the void by telling myself that my life span will be around 70... 80 years, so that those small years won't sting so much.
I took my time waking up. I was off of work and really wanted to relax today. But Billy called me and asked me if I wanted to fix someone's car while I was in the kitchen. Why would he call me for something like that when we have employees to do that?
"Umm… I didn't want to send Jimmy on this job just in case he didn't act civilized," My father said.
"Huh?"
"It's the Cullen's daughter car. It broke down a few days ago. I was wondering if you could check it out and if you can't fix it tow it back to the shop."
"Oh… Um what's her name… Rennie?"
"No… Renesmee."
"Um… Yeah that. Boy that's a mouth full."
"So are you down for it? Eric is doing another job today and I told Mr. Cullen that I would send someone today around 10 am. I really don't wanna send Jimmy. He may say something to her and… Well… You know."
"Yeah… We send Jimmy out on jobs when we know it's a man. Don't want any women pissed off at our business."
"So you see my point. Plus Edward is a good friend."
I looked at my couch and thought of how comfortable I would be in it. I planned on doing nothing today… Except for playing Call of Duty and Halo and taking a ride on my bike since the weather was nice. "Uhhh…" I said sounding unsure. I knew someone wouldn't mind coming in today to do this job if I asked them. Hell… I'll pay them more for doing it. Why can't I just be lazy?
"Come on Jake… The poor kid hasn't had a working car all week."
"Um… What about Tommy? I could ask him to do it"
I walked over to my book case to pull out a game since my mind basically decided that I would have a lazy morning.
"Jake… She a nice girl. I'm pretty sure you would kick yourself in the ass for not going. Hey… She might have some of her mother's lemon cake."
"Hmmm." I had to think about this now.
Then all of a sudden I felt like I heard my mother's voice. I know I imagined it. But it freaked me out anyway. I reached for her photo album and turned to the first page. A tear escaped my eye and I tuned back in to Billy who was apparently still talking.
"Huh?"
"Are you gonna go?"
"Sure, sure… I'll go."
I had a weird feeling in my gut… but it was a good one. I figured I had to meet this girl… I've heard so much about her over the years. Billy talks about the Cullen's all of the time. What harm would it do if I just postponed my laziness for a while? Halo can wait… I can kill aliens later.
I took a quick shower and drove to the shop to pick up the tow truck. Billy had some parts already for her car just in case it was an easy job that I could do there. I never been in this neighborhood before but the GPS helped me get there. It was a nice house. A bit old fashion… but it was a nice size. It was way bigger than my house. I could buy a house that big if I wanted one. But I rather save my money and help out who I can. I don't need all of that. I'm content with my Hummer and house on the res. I heard that the Cullen's had money besides Mr. Cullen being a lawyer. But the way my dad talks about them… he makes them seem down to earth. Well I guess they could be… I mean I'm here to fix a broken down old Mazda. I turned off the tow truck and got out. I looked around a bit before I started walking to the door. I didn't see her car but I noticed that they had a garage at the side of the house. I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. It took a few seconds before I heard someone walking to the door then it swung open.
"Oh Hi," a girl said a bit stunned. Maybe my height took her off guard?
"Hi I'm Jacob. I'm here to fix Renesmee's car."
I was hoping that it was her. She was so beautiful and like a school kid I felt butterflies in my stomach. She gazed at me for a few seconds and I was dying to know what she was thinking.
"Hey, so are you Renesmee?"
"Oh… I'm sorry. Yes… I'm Renesmee... nice to meet you... please call me Nessie, or May."
Ok I have a choice of names… that's good. Because I know I would jack up her name if I tried to say it again. No I won't. Hell... I can get used to saying Renesmee. I even imagined me moaning it. Yup… I can get use to that.
"So where's the patient?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"Your car," I said smiling.
I realized that I am the only one who thinks of cars as patients. Don't make yourself look like a dork Jake.
"Oh… It's on the side of the house in the garage."
She looked at the door knob then stepped pass me and led me to the garage.
"I don't really know what's wrong with it. It showed no signs that it was dying on me."
"Well don't worry… I can basically fix anything."
"Ahh… Over confident are you?"
"No… I just know what I'm doing."
I don't believe I just said that. I don't want her to think that I was a cocky ass. Shit Jake… Get it together.
"So have you've lived here all of your life?" I asked.
"Yes. I'm enrolled in University of Washington for art history. I start in a few weeks."
"Oh that's nice."
I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. It was crazy… I was so… Nervous. But I think I hid it well. Nessie reached out to open the garage door. "Oh I'll get that for you," I said as my hand brushed against hers to grab the handle. That one small touch sent me to heaven and made my knees feel funny. She smiled at me and I lifted the door. Her smile was beautiful and I wanted to melt right there. But I couldn't act like a love sick teenager. I was a grown ass man for crying out loud. And I was working… I guess I can call this work. She probably has someone any old way.
Nessie reached inside the car and popped the hood. I lifted the hood to get a good look at what I was working with. I didn't want my eyes to leave her… but I knew I was here for a job. Nessie sat on a small bench in the garage and watched me. I saw a few parts that were loose and corroded. It looked like an easy job. I could do this one blind folded if I wanted to show off. "Hmm… Don't worry… I will have it running in no time, Gorgeous." That just spilled out without me having the time to think about what I was saying. Her eyes widened and I realized that I may have over stepped my boundaries. Shit.
"I'm sorry… Nessie. I can't help but to call you gorgeous because you're breathtaking. I'm so sorry... That was out of line."
"Oh… No I didn't take offense. Thank you… you're very sweet."
Wow… She thought I was sweet. I hope it wasn't in the sense of sweet like puppies. But sweet in like I wanna go out with you on a date… Because you're so sweet. But I was hoping to hard on that. I heard a light tapping noise and saw from the corner of my eye that she was tapping her foot. Was she nervous to be alone with me? I had to make her feel comfortable. So I figured I would get her talking so she would forget that she was nervous.
"So what do you like to do?" I asked while un-screwing a warned out part.
"Oh… I like to write, go to movies, watch stand-up comedy, and dance. Can you dance?"
I came from behind the hood smiling. "I'm not the greatest dancer… But I do a mean robot." I started imitating a robot with my tools still in my hand and heard the most wonderful laugh. It made me smile. Her smile was so bright… and her lips were so perfect. I could just imagine kissing them… Feeling the heat of her body against me. Damn… why does this chick have me like this? I wanna know every single thing about this girl... I mean everything.
"Hey have you heard of cliff diving?" I asked.
"Huh… Cliff diving? Sounds dangerous."
"It could be if you don't know what you're doing."
"So I assume it involves jumping off a cliff into the ocean?"
"You're correct."
"I assume you're one of those adrenaline junkies if you do something as crazy as that?"
"Hmm… I guess I am. Me and some of the other guys on the res love it."
"Wow… be careful."
She sounded like she was really concerned about me… And not just saying it to say it.
"What you jump out of planes too? Do you have some type of death warrant over your head? I'm pretty sure your family worries about you."
"No… I don't jump out of planes or swim with sharks… But I do have a motorcycle."
"Wow… You have a motorcycle," she said excited.
I came from under the hood and smiled at her. Maybe she wanted to go for a ride with me?
"Yeah… You wanna ride with me some day?"
"Sure. I never rode on one before… So be gentle."
Damn… I just had a vision of us in the bed and my eyebrow went up as my dick stiffened.
"Oh my God… That sounded sexual. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I feel so embarrassed," she said as her cheeks blushed.
"Hey don't worry about it… I'll go slow for you."
I smiled at her and her face got even redder. I looked back down on the engine and started screwing something. I had to get my mind off of her lips. Shit… My dick was so hard. Renesmee… Oh my God. Keep it together Jake. I'm pretty sure she would notice if I had a bonner... Especially in these pants. I moved closer to the car so she wouldn't be able to see that I had a ranging hard on for her. And Billy was worried about girlfriendless Jimmy. I had to think of something to make it go away... dead puppies perhaps? I couldn't think of dead puppies because all I could think about was her. Renesmee... what a name. But how in the world is her nick name Nessie? If you break it down… It's either Renes or May.
"So I understand how you would get May from Renesmee… But how did you get the nick name Nessie?"
"Oh… My little brother Matt kinda gave me that name while he was learning how to read. I had my name spelled out in block letters in my room and he used to always steal a few letters and take them back to his room. He would always steal the same letters. Every time I went to get my letters back… he would have them displayed on his dresser spelling Nesee. He would say… Look your name Nesse." Matt was so cute. He was three I think? He always had a hard time saying Renesmee so he decided to change my name and never called me Renesmee again. It kinda stuck with me. My parents only really call me Renesmee. I know it's a weird name but it's a combination of both of my grandmother's names... Rene and Esme. I swear my mother should have been a hippie."
"Well what would you like me to call you?" Other than mine.
"Nessie or May… both will suffice."
"Ok," I said smiling. "So do you get along with your brother… How old is he?"
"Matt's fourteen. I love him to death. He's nosy as hell… but he's really funny. He knows he's adopted and I wanna make him feel as much love from me as he can."
"Hmm… Why did your parents tell him that he was adopted at such a young age?"
"Well keeping it a secret would be hard to pull off since his mother was black."
"Oh… What was his father… Do you know?"
"His father was white. Matt's the completion of… Hmm… Halle Berry I guess. Half of his class is in love with him… but there's only one girl that he really likes."
I chucked. "He really thinks he's a bad ass because he's a black belt in Karate and Kung Fu. He's been taking classes since he was eight."
"Wow… A black belt. That's cool. Oh do you have any other brothers or sisters?"
"No… just Matt."
Nessie moved the bench closer to me. I had to excuse myself and go back to the truck to get some things. I could feel her staring at me the entire time I walked away.
It was safe now because my dick had went down. I really didn't wanna leave her. Gosh I'm getting so mushy. I was amazed on how strongly I felt for her in such a short period of time… And it wasn't just sexual. Oh I hope I can take her ridding soon. Hell even if it rains… I'll ask her out on a date. Where ever she wanted to go… I'll take her. I started walking back to the garage and smiled at her. I sat my tools down and the parts that I had next to the hood of the car. I had to remind myself that I was here to actually fix something. But I got so caught up in our conversation and wasn't really concentrating on finishing the job. Truthfully I could have been done a long time ago. But I didn't wanna stop talking to her.
We talked for hours… But I didn't want to bring up the time just in case she had something to do later. I mean it was Friday and I'm sure she had plans. I even thought of not fixing her car and making up some excuse that it had to go to the shop. Then I would and ask her out for dinner. But then I realized that that would be crazy… or maybe it wouldn't be?
I found myself talking about my sisters and mother… And how my sisters helped raised me after my mother died. I wanted to change the subject when it started to look like she was getting sad.
"Are you ok?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said looking away from me.
"Nessie?"
She turned around to face me. My heart sunk when I saw tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry… It's just that … That kinda got to me. I'm so sorry for your loss," she muttered.
"Oh it's ok. Cheer up… Don't make me dance again I can do the Dougie too." She chuckled. "That's better… Hey let's talk about something else." I smiled at her hoping it would make her smile… and it did.
Nessie told me about her family and I told her all about my best friends. She never talked about a boyfriend and I had to know or I was going to explode. I found a way to trick her into telling me if she had a boyfriend or not. I asked her what her boyfriend thought of her playing Madden since she said that she was really good at it. "Oh… I don't have a boyfriend." I smirked at her trying to hide how happy I truly was. Then I gazed at her as I imagined her belonging to me. God… I wanted her to belong to me. We talked for a few more minutes about our views on life. She was very down to earth and I loved that about her. She also had a few quirks about her that I thought were adorable. Nessie started to look nervous again… or impatient. I wondered what was going on in her head.
"So I'm pretty sure your girlfriend's not so thrilled about you hurling your body hundreds of feet into the icy ocean." Oh… She didn't know if I was single.
"Oh… I don't have anyone special right now."
It looked like she took a deep breath and that made me even more excited.
"Oh."
"I saw your father once around four years ago when he came to talk to Billy… I mean my dad."
She looked at me all weird. I know it sounds funny… but I haven't called my dad… dad since I was a kid.
"I call my dad by his first name… My sisters do too," I explained.
"Oh."
"They seemed to really get along. I remember your mom brought by some lemon cakes she made one day. I never saw her… but man they were good."
"Oh… You had my mom's baking?"
I started smiling remembering how good they were.
"Yeah… She's a great cook. Billy says that he's known your dad for years. Is your father here?"
"No… My parents went to Seattle with my brother to visit family. They will be back later tonight after they go out to dinner with my aunt and uncle."
Oh… No one is home. Stop thinking nasty thoughts Jake.
"So when can I get that bike ride?" she asked.
I came from under the hood and smiled at her.
"Any time you want. Let me know when you wanna go."
"How about tomorrow?" she asked hopeful. Wow… She really wanted to spend more time with me.
"That's fine with me… I hope the weather is good."
"I can't wait. I should wear my Sons of Anarchy hoddie."
"What… You watch that show!"
"I love that show… Of course. Jax, Jemma, Tara…"
"So you're a part of the Reaper Crew."
"You damn right. Don't mess with me or… Retaliation."
I chuckled.
"Man that's one of my favorite shows. What other shows do you watch?"
"This Is Us, Game of Thrones, West World, Greys Anatomy, Blackish, Grownish, Station 19, 911, Ozark, The Flash, Daredevil, Smallville, Supernatural, Glee, CSI Miami, The Big Bang Theory…."
"Oh… I just love Sheldon." It's hard to find a girl who likes that show.
"Yeah… I even have a Bazinga T-Shirt."
"No."
"Yes."
"Really… Did you watch True Blood? That's one of my favorite shows."
"Who doesn't? I love vampires," she said smiling.
"Hmm… I like werewolves better."
I found myself gazing at her and couldn't help it. Nessie stood up and walked over to me. It felt like my heart wanted to jump out of my chest.
"Hey… Is this job more than you thought?" she asked.
"No… I'll be done soon. A few things were just loose and you needed a spark plug. I already had one because I knew the make and model of your car. I would have been done quicker if I didn't have so many distractions," I said smiling
"I'm sorry… I'm a distraction," she said light heartedly.
"A very welcomed one though."
I noticed that she was checking me out. Nessie was staring at my arms and it was driving me crazy if she wanted me too... Because I sure do want her. I cleared my throat to make sure she knew that I caught her. She looked up at me and smiled innocently.
"I'm sorry… I was looking at your veins. I love vampires remember." I chuckled. "Do you go to the gym a lot?"
"No… I have a home gym in my den."
"Oh… You work out every day?"
"No… Not as much as I should. I've been slacking off lately." Damn… I really need to start working out again. I got smaller over the last months.
"How tall are you by the way?" she asked.
"Oh… I'm 6 ft. 6."
"Wow you're like the tallest guy I've ever met."
"It must be something in the water because my friends and cousins are tall too. But I'm still that tallest. How tall are you?"
"I'm a foot shorter."
"You're 5 ft. 6."
"Um hum."
Nessie looked like she was thinking something naughty…. Or I was just hoping that she was.
"Hey do you like going to car shows?" she asked.
"Sure."
"I only went to one a few years ago when my family visited Detroit. We take turns picking our yearly vacation. My brother picked Detroit. But I didn't mind. I loved looking at the new cars. My dad actually told me that he would buy me a new car after the show… but I wanted to be independent and chose to buy my own car."
She extended her arm to the engine.
"This is the car you bought?"
"Yeah."
"Well it's good to be independent... It shows character."
She smiled at me and I wanted to move closer to her.
"Well it looks like it's in good shape... And it should run fine now."
"Hmm?"
"I think I fixed it... Try to start it."
Nessie opened the door and started the car. It started right up just as I expected.
"Oh my God thank you."
"You're welcome."
She turned off the engine and got out of the car.
"Wow you do know how to fix almost anything."
"That's what I told ya."
I put my tools away and wiped my hand on a cloth. I have hand wipes in the truck to clean them a little better later.
"Hey you need to wash your hands? You can use my kitchen. I can also get you something to drink."
"Ok… Thanks." That options even better.
We walked inside the house. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. The way her cute purple dress flowed… the sway of her hair. But I had to look away from her while I washed my hands. That would have been too creepy if I stared at her while I washed up…. Though I wanted to. Nessie opened the refrigerator and looked inside.
"We have White Grape Juicy Juice, Pepsi, water, orange juice, and milk."
"Hmm… That Juicy Juice sounds good."
She took out the juice and got a glass from the cabinet. My vision is perfect… But I thought I was seeing things when it looked like her hand was trembling. Was she nervous to be alone in the house with me? My God I would never do anything to her that she didn't want. She took a deep breath and poured the juice. "Here you go," she said as I was drying my hands with a paper towel.
"Where's your trash?"
"Over there."
She pointed to the far end of the kitchen. I walked over to the trash can regretting the minutes that were escaping me. I was here to only wash up and get a drink. I didn't want to over stay my welcome. I walked back over to her and took the glass from her small hand.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. Thank you again for healing your patient."
I chuckled. It was funny hearing someone else refer to my jobs as patients. I took a few gulps and noticed that she was staring at me drink. She bit her bottom lip and it looked so fuckin' sexy. I put the glass down on the counter. I wanted to know what she was thinking about more than finishing the juice… Though the juice was one of the best thing that I ever tasted.
"You ok?" I asked.
"Hmm?"
"What's on your mind?"
"Oh nothing… I'm fine."
Nessie looked like she was thinking about something. She doesn't really do a good job of controlling her facial expressions… But it's cute.
"Um… Can I get your number so I can call you so we can go riding?" she asked softly.
"Of course Gorgeous… Can I call you that?"
"Sure," she said nervously.
She gulped as she reached for her phone out of her bra. I couldn't help but to look there. I told her my number and she put it in the phone. I was already looking forward to talking to her on the phone. I'm pretty sure I would keep her up all night and dream of her for the rest of it. I felt my body gravitate towards her unexpectedly. I was standing so close to her it was driving me crazy. My dick was already rock hard… and I could do nothing about it. She couldn't see anyway if she looked down. Her perky breast would be in the way of seeing how she's affecting me. Nessie put her phone back in her bra and my eyes followed. I was so fucking jealous of that damn phone. I wanted to be in between her breast. My mouth… My dick. Shit… I never wanted a woman so bad in my life. It was like some magical crap just happened to me and I fell head over heels in love with her in the last few hours. I stepped even closer to her until we were almost touching. Her chocolate eyes were so beautiful that I didn't want to look away. They held me there… Almost frozen. Her breathing deepened. I felt like I was holding my breath. I wanted to kiss her so bad… But I didn't want to do anything she didn't want to do. "Is it ok for me to kiss you?" I breathed. I prayed that she would say yes. That her full lips would part and give me permission to taste her sweet skin. But instead she nodded her head yes… Which was just as satisfying. I leaned down and softly kissed her lips. She moaned and it made my dick even harder. I held her by her waist and pulled her closer to me. Her body felt so good pressed up against me. I wanted to feel her smooth skin and without a second thought I pulled up the fabric of her dress and slid my hands down her panties grabbing her ass firmly. She gasped in my mouth and didn't protest. Even pushed herself closer to me. She moaned in my mouth and I thought that I was gonna lose it. Her moans sounded so fucking good. I leaned down so that I could touch her pussy. "Jacob!" she moaned out loud. I slid my finger across her clit and her knees buckled. I held her close to me so she wouldn't fall. I would never let her fall… Except in love with me. I've waited so long for someone like her… and I wasn't going to let her get away. I kissed her again then pulled away so I could look into her mesmerizing eyes.
"God I want you so bad," I breathed.
"I want you too."
The next minute was a blur. I found myself in her bedroom fingering her wet pussy while standing. Then I kissed her like I was kissing her to save my life. I bent down and bit her neck and she let out a loud moan that sent a chill down my spine. I wanted this… But I wanted to make sure that she wanted it too. "Do you really wanna do this?" I asked. "I can stop now if you have reservations." She didn't speak. The look in her eyes told me that she wanted me too. But I wanted her more than anything in the world. And I would do everything in my power to have her. I wanted her to be mine. Nessie stood on her toes and kissed me shoving her tongue in my mouth. She ran her fingers through my hair and it felt so good. She touched me so tenderly that I wanted to close my eyes and take a nap. But I couldn't do that… My body wouldn't allow me to doze off… the pull to have her now was too great.
I quickly lifted her dress over her head and laid her down on her bed. I took off my T-shirt and flung it to the floor. Nessie took her cell phone out from her bra and placed it on her nightstand. I leaned over her and started kissing and licking her stomach. She squirmed under me and panted. Her heavy breath was making me dizzy with lust… Love. I swear I loved this woman and I wanted to show her. I slowly moved down to her pussy and my mouth watered. I gently bit it through her panties and she moaned out loud. Her pussy smelled so sexy… I wanted her juices all over me. I slid down her panties and looked at the crotch. They were soaking wet. I planned on making her pussy even wetter. I got impatient and quickly took off my jeans and underwear with the same swoop. Nessie's eyes widened a bit as she stared at my dick. "My God you're so sexy," I breathed. I lay down on top of her and started kissing her neck. Every part of her tasted so good. I spread her thighs so that I could get in between her legs. I originally wanted to eat her out… But I wanted to fuck her more. My dick was pressing against her clit and it was almost painful for me that I wasn't inside her yet. My mind was hazy and all I could think about was making love to her. I wasn't even thinking about anything but making her moan… Making her come… Making her mine. I slid my head inside her hot pussy and she tensed up clinching my body. She held her breath as I pushed deeper inside her. Oh my God it felt like heaven. She was so tight… the tightest I've ever had. I felt her stretch for me and she squealed through her nose like she was in pain. Oh God I was hurting her?
"Baby are you a virgin?" I asked nervously.
"No," she panted.
"Oh… Am I hurting you?"
"Um… It's ok." She bit her bottom lip.
"My God you're so tight," I moaned.
"Mmm… Oohh… You're so big," she panted.
The next thing I knew she grabbed my ass and pulled me into her body. She wanted me and I wasn't gonna stop her from giving her what she wanted.
I shoved more of my dick farther inside her and she screamed out. "Ahhh!" I was so eager to fuck her senseless… but she was so tight and I didn't want to hurt her. I worked my way deeper taking shallow strokes. She felt so fucking good that I swore I was gonna come right away. "Ooh... Ooh… Oohh," she moaned sounding like the sexiest thing ever. I groaned in her ear as I continued to fuck her. The friction of her tight pussy was driving me insane… Oh my God. After a few more strokes I noticed that she got even wetter. I pumped even deeper and hit her cervix. "Oh shit… Oh my God," I moaned. I was totally lost in her. I needed her… every part of her. I wanted to make her happy and see that pretty smile of hers every single day. I started to pick up momentum and Nessie started moaning like crazy.
"Oohhh… Mmm… Jacob... Oh my God!"
"Does it feel good?" I moaned.
"Oooh yes…. Yes… more… Fuck me please."
I grabbed her hips and fucked her harder. It felt good as shit each time my head pressed up against her cervix. She was moaning like crazy and gasping for air. I started moving my hips in a circular motion which made her scream in my chest. I felt her pussy clamp down on me and pulsate… She was coming. "Ahhh Ja… cob!" She screamed. Her moans only excited me more and made me pound my dick in her faster. I growled as I angled my thrust to the side. Nessie jerked and I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Shit Ness… I'm gonna come."
"Wait," she breathed.
But I couldn't. I was already coming inside her and my body didn't want to leave. I didn't wanna leave her in any sense. I wanted to be with her forever.
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