A/N: 'A fanfic about an epidemic, posted just as we were in the cusp of a pandemic.' The Irony has not escaped me as I now have to work from home for the foreseeable future. As an introvert I actually like being alone, which is just as well really, as I live alone (well as alone as you can be with two 10-month-old Maine Coons to distract and cause chaos), but I know the extroverts amongst us will find these times more difficult.

It's giving me more time to catch up on home stuff, and to plant some seeds (lettuce, tomatoes, green beans starting off indoors - with more to come outside when the weather warms a bit more) so I will have some fresh home-grown food in the future - especially as this ongoing pandemic is looking like it will last a lot longer than anyone initially thought. Stay safe, folks.

It's also giving me more flexibility to write, and so I wrote this next scene in an hour or so yesterday (the 17th). I know where the story is going and the last chapter is written (bar minor changes/additions). Just a few chapters more, and I can type THE END.

17th December

Kitty was still crying when the Bennets entered their carriage to return home. Mr Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam mounted their horses and followed behind them.

Mr Bennet was silent for some time as the carriage travelled, but he was astounded when Jane, the pacifist of the Bennet family, stopped attempting to comfort her sister and leaned away from her.

'Kitty, listen to me. I have tried to be sympathetic, despite my anger with you, but even I have limits on what I can give. You almost killed Lizzy. You stole from mamma and your sisters. You were warned about Mr Wickham and chose to disbelieve and ignore those warnings. Now you know the truth in the only way you would believe it – from his own lips. What are you going to do now to make things right?'

Kitty, her face wearing a look that mirrored the shock her father felt, sniffled and cast her eyes to the ground. 'I… I do not know.'

'Well then, I will tell you. For starters, you will stop crying over that man. You will apologise to everyone you have hurt and stolen from in our family—'

'And you will be sent away,' interrupted Mr Bennet, finally finding his voice. 'To school,' he added, when both of his daughters turned wide eyes toward him. 'Mr Darcy thought it might be good for you to be away from us all for a while, and to learn how to properly comport yourself in society.'

There was a long silence as the Bennet girls considered the matter. Jane was first to nod. 'I agree. She will hopefully learn to appreciate her family again, if she is away long enough.'

Kitty sniffed again, then nodded, her hand creeping into Jane's.

The rest of the trip was silent as they all considered the changes that would occur in the family, however the mood changed as they turned into their drive and heard the screeching.

The men on horseback reacted first, spurring their horses ahead of the carriage while Mr Bennet, who had by this time recognised his youngest daughter's voice, tried to see what was happening from the carriage window. He knocked to stop the carriage.

'Maggot! Imbecile! Worm!' Each word was interspersed with a dull thud and a grunt of pain.

'What, on earth, is wrong with Lydia?' asked Jane, her brow wrinkled with worry.

'Stay here you two. I will investigate.' Mr Bennet opened the door and left the carriage, closing the door behind him. He moved away, his pace increasing when he saw who his youngest daughter was chasing. The two other gentlemen were dismounting as Lydia and Mr Collins, for it was him that she was chasing, with a rake no less, drew nearer.

'What were you going to do to Lizzy, you disgusting piece of… of… of cow dung?' she yelled. As she swung the rake back, it caught in his coat pocket and ripped it from his coat. A pocket handkerchief fluttered away, and some other small items tumbled to the ground as Mr Collins stumbled, falling to his knees as he ducked another swing of the rake.

'Lizzy?' muttered Mr Darcy, his face ashen. 'What has he done to her?' He stepped forward, fists clenched, but his cousin gripped his forearm and stopped him.

'Go to her,' Colonel Fitzwilliam said, 'Let me deal with this miscreant. I feel the need for some exercise.'

Mr Darcy nodded, and dashed off toward the house, as Mr Bennet arrived at the Colonel's side.

'Lizzy?'

'Darcy has gone to find out. I plan to take great pleasure by thrashing this pitiful excuse for a human being.'

'Very well. I will try and tame my youngest.'

The Colonel grinned. 'Do not. She is a wonderful warrior, is she not? If she were a man, I would be proud to have her in my regiment. The French would run screaming from her rake.'

Mr Bennet gave a dry chuckle. 'She is, indeed. I am proud of how my little Lydia is growing up. Still, I must separate her from her rake before she does herself an injury. You have at that … that…'

'Maggot!' Thwack. 'Cur' Thwack. Mr Collins was up again and staggering toward them.

Colonel Fitzwilliam stepped forward, pulled his arm back and let fly as Mr Collins, a scratch on his cheek freely bleeding and turning his cravat pink and red, stumbled into a fist made of steel.

'Oh!' Lydia stopped as Mr Collins landed on his back at her feet. She poked him with the rake. 'Is he dead?'

'Likely, no. Just knocked out.'

''tis unfortunate, then.' She grinned at the Colonel, who was rubbing his hand and frowning down as the prone vicar. 'How does your hand feel?'

'It feels like a job well done.' He turned to Mr Bennet. 'What shall I do with him?'

'That depends on what he did to my Lizzy.'

'Oh, Lizzy is fine. I hit him over the head with a chamber pot before he had chance to do anything.'

Colonel Fitzwilliam, who had knelt to check Mr Collins' pulse, drew back a damp hand and looked at it in disgust. 'He's all wet. Please do not tell me the chamber pot was full.'

'She shook her head and laughed. 'No, it has just been emptied. I threw a vase of water over him to wake him up once we had taken him outside. He had to be awake for the chase, you see.'

The Colonel laughed. 'Well, he's just lights out. A shame, as I was hoping for a good turn-up. Mr Bennet, where would you like him?'

'If my Lizzy is well, then I just want him gone. Was he not to return to Hunsford today?'

'He was and was fully warned not to come anywhere near here. I think there is still time for him to catch the stage. Shall I take him to Meryton and make sure he gets on it?'

Mr Bennet nodded. He turned to order the coachman to drop his daughters at the house and then return to collect Mr Collins.

Nodding, the coachman drove up to the house, and James, still there and watching the proceedings with amusement opened the door and handed the Bennet ladies down.

The coach turned and, followed by a groom who had been summoned, came back down the drive to where they were waiting.

Beckoning the coachman down from his seat to help, Colonel Fitzwilliam lifted the prone Mr Collins and dumped him, none too carefully, onto the floor of the coach.

The groom took the saddle horses into his care, and the Colonel offered his arm to Lydia, by this time relieved of her rake by the now respectful gardener. Along with Mr Bennet they began the short walk back to Longbourn.

About half-way there, Mr Darcy came out to join them, looking most relieved.

'Elizabeth is well, just a little shaken, I think. She is asking for you, Miss Lydia.'

After Lydia nodded, and excused herself, Mr Darcy turned to the others. 'Where is Collins?'

'Out cold in the coach,' replied Mr Bennet.

'I plan to take him into Meryton and put him on the stage.'

'Our aunt must hear of this, before she meets with him.'

I will escort the stage, I need to go to Rosings anyway. I have an answer that will relieve my future mother by law.'

Mr Darcy regarded his cousin for a long moment. 'You are sure? I thought your interest had taken a turn.'

'It has. I will explain the situation properly when we have more time. I must go now to catch the stage before it leaves.'

He nodded to the other gentlemen and turned to walk back to the coach. Thanking the groom, he mounted his horse, then nodded to the coachman. The coach moved off at a fair clip, followed by the Colonel, who waved an adieu as they turned out of the drive and onto the road.

As they continued the walk to the house, Mr Darcy passing on what Lizzy had told him about the incident, when the gardener came running up.

'Sir, I jus' found these on the drive. The other gentleman, the one Miss Lydia was chasing, must have dropped 'em.' He handed over a purse of money and a watch, tugged his forelock and moved away to return to his work.

Mr Bennet instantly recognised the watch as the one his father had given him. Suspicious, he examined the money pouch more closely. On the inside, embroidered rather poorly but lovingly by a much younger Lizzy, were his initials.

'These are both my belongings,' he said. 'They were in my desk drawer.'

'Mr Collins was in your study, then.' Mr Darcy frowned. 'He was looking for something, it seems.'

'I expect he was after the contract he signed. However, I am no dimwit. It is safely locked away in my brother's safe. If we go now, we can catch him before he leaves and have him arrested for trespass and theft.'

Mr Darcy frowned. 'I know something of what my aunt has planned for Mr Collins - you can be sure it is severe, more severe than you might suspect - so I do not think it wise that his departure be prevented. That is, however, completely your decision. Should you decide to allow my aunt and the archbishop to deal with him, I must let them know of his latest offence before they meet with him.'

There was a long silence as Mr Bennet considered his words. 'What do you think they have planned for him?'

'I understand they plan to... persuade... him to leave the country on a convict ship, with no return.'

Mr Bennet gave him a slow nod as he considered this. 'Vans Diemen's land?'

'I understand that he will be pushed to go there as a missionary. Officially, anyway, but those he is to join there will know it is really a punishment. He will not enjoy his life there.' Mr Darcy gave a sigh. 'I was planning to go to town in a few days to collect my sister for Christmastime. I will bring my trip forward, so I can visit my aunt and apprise her of this development. Mr Bingley and his sister are due back tomorrow morning. I will leave after they have arrived.'

'Very good, then. I will allow Mr Collins to leave today and look forward to hearing of his interview with Lady Catherine. Let us go in. I must see my Lizzy is unharmed with my own eyes.'

A/N Mr Collins will meet a very appropriate fate, but not just yet. Don't fret.