CHAPTER TEN

Halfway home, Levi passed out. Eren desperately tried to keep his grip to the man's side without further injuring his already punctured lung. His hands had gone numb from the pressure half an hour ago. There was so much blood around him. On his hands, up his forearms and all over Levi's clothes as well as the leather seat he was lying on. Eren didn't know what else to do, he just kept yelling at the driver to go faster, mentally repeating his newly found mantra.

Please, god! Don't let this happen, don't let this happen, don't let this happen!...

Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard Mikasa trying to calm him down, but for the most part it made everything worse. He didn't want to hear from her at all. He knew that Levi had been a nuisance for her from the beginning, and although he knew deep down that he was doing her wrong, he cursed her for not caring about what happened to him. Not that it really mattered at this moment. Nothing did. All he knew was that he had to keep Levi alive until they'd get home. He tried to talk him out of unconsciousness.

"Levi, come on, man! Stay with me! You must not leave me here, please! Do you hear me?!" But it didn't work. The man in front of him kept lying there without saying a single word, eyes closed and face unnaturally relaxed.

"Armin, wet your finger and put it under his nose! Mikasa, you take his wrist and check for pulse," he yelled at his friends, and laid his head down on the other man's chest to hear his heartbeat. It was still there and steady moreover, which eased Eren a bit. If only a little.

All three had their hands on Levi, constantly checking his vitals with the little possibilities they had at hand. Eren kept murmuring words to Levi, praying that it had any effect on his subconscious.

An eternity for Eren and one hour later in real life, they finally reached their house and through the car's window Eren saw two people standing in front of the house's entrance, already awaiting them.

One of them was Mr. Smith, who was way too calm for Eren's liking.

Why the fuck is he just standing there?, Eren thought furiously.

The other one was a woman with wide, light brown eyes behind square, thick-rimmed glasses that have bands strapped around her head, and medium-length dark brown hair that was tied up in an unkempt high ponytail with bangs parted down the middle. It looked a little oily and unclean, as if she hadn't found the time to refresh herself up for quite some time. She wore a white button up shirt with black pants and a white coat. Eren got out the car and pulled Levi with him.

"Ahh, there he is," the woman said. Long time no see, Levi! What's cracking, yo?"

And she had a fucking bright smile on her face! Eren was so close to slapping that grin out of her face, he felt his head heat up. "You crazy, you bitch?! The fuck is wrong with you guys, why are you just standing there? We have to get him a doctor!"

He heard a deep but savoury laugh coming from the behind the woman, so he looked over her shoulder and saw Mr. Smith holding his stomach. "Must been the second time you got addressed like this, Hange." He walked down the stairs and towards Eren. "No need to panic, young man. Levi will be fine now that he's here." He leant forward and put his arms under Levi's back and knees, and lifted him up in the air bridal style. "Let's get inside." Eren wanted to argue and tell Mr. Smith to be careful, but he was dumbfounded by the serenity of the people around him.

Mikasa and Armin got out of the car as well, and all of them followed Erwin and the weird woman who pulled a stethoscope from the pocket of her white coat, put the tubs in her ears and held the diaphragm onto Levi's chest.

Shit, is she the doctor?

Erwin carried him up to the first floor and went left until he paused in front of Levi's room. Hange opened the door and they went inside, while Eren and the others stopped in the frame. When he looked around the corner and inside of the room, he saw all kinds of equipment, such as he had only seen in movies and hospital series. Dozens of machines, all making some kind of beeping noises and midst all of them was a bedside Erwin carefully laid Levi upon.

"Very well, let's start," the woman said. "Seems like he was shot in his left side and since there is no exit hole, the bullet has to be still stuck in his lung. We've to take it out before the wound starts to close."

The weird woman started to give instructions to the other white-clad people in Levi's room while she moved a strange-looking tool over Levi's rip cage that was giving off a bright, concentrated light. Then another assistant put a mask over Levi's face. "The anaesthetic works in thirty, come and prepare me and the wound as well."

One man run up to her, putting large gloves over her hands that covered her up to her elbows and someone else cut away Levi's shirt as well as anything else that was on his upper body.

Are these weapon holsters that fell to the ground?

Next, they threw a green blanket with an opening in the middle on top of Levi, so now the intake hole was the only visible part of his torso. The blood on Levi's side was wiped away, something was sprayed on the wound and the woman got to work. Her assistants handed her some more tools and first she rammed something like a little tube between his ribs, where immediately some blood started to run out. Next she pushed the pliers in her right hand through Levi's wound while one of her assistants put another mask over his nose and mouth, this time one with a bag on it and started pumping it.

"Come here and si by his head," the doctor called out into the room and to no one in particular. When none of her people moved from their position, she looked over her shoulder and in Eren's direction. "I am talking to you, boy. Come here."

Eren wasn't sure who she was talking to. He looked around himself and found the entire house gathered in his back. His father stood next to him as well as Mikasa and Armin and a few others who were on work shift. Something poked him in the small of his back and he heard Mikasa's voice. "She's talking to you, Eren. Get in there."

Before Eren recognized what was happening, he already inched forwards.

What? Why me? What can I do?

He was completely lost as he stood beside Hange and looked down at the sedated raven. "Get a chair and sit down. I want you to talk to him while I work on him." There was a dull squeaking sound from wood scratching against spread out plastic ground and Eren felt a heavy hand sitting him down on his ass. He looked up to the doctor, but nothing in her face told him what he was supposed to do.

"Why?" was all he managed to say. His eyes flexed back to Levi's face.

"Because I experienced that even if a patient isn't acutally able to hear what is being said, their vitals are much more stable when there's someone talking to them. It's as if their subconscious notices that they are not alone and that soothes them."

But what should he say?

It took Eren a few a couple of heartbeats before he leaned forwards, putting his lips by Levi's ear, and he started whispering.

"I'm so sorry, Levi. This is all my fault. Oh God, what did I do? If I hadn't gone outside and wouldn't have been such an unreliable prick, you wouldn't have had to come to save me. Again. Gosh, I'm so terribly sorry." He paused, unsure what to say next.

"I'm going to make up for it, I swear. You'll see. I don't know how yet, but I will. It's a promise." What else was there to say?

But it doesn't really matter what I say, does it? It's just about talking to him, she said.

In a flash ll sorts of things came to his head, and then saw a chance that probably wouldn't come up again so soon.

"You know what, Levi? The first moment I saw you, I didn't know what to think of you. You had this calm but annoyed aura on you. And you looked pretty cool in this suit of yours. Then I saw Maria carrying all the cleansing stuff up to your room and I had no idea what that was all about. When I asked her, she told me that you forbid her to enter your room and that you insisted on cleaning it yourself. Who would've guessed that a guy like you has some lame side to him like being a clean freak." Eren smiled to himself.

"And then I saw you wander through the backyards, from out of my window. You were checking out the area and you only wore a pair of jeans and an old-fashioned bottom up shirt. It looked more casually and suited you so much better. This was more the real you, wasn't it? I like to watch the way you move and walk, you always seem to be on alert, ready to jump at the throat of anything that doesn't move the way you want it to. I started to want to know more about you. And then there was this night you'd gone out..."

Eren didn't know, whether he should skip this part. He remembered that the doctor said, Levi wasn't actually hearing him, so technically there was no risk. But you never know, especially with a man like him.

"Well, never mind. The day after you went out and we met in the library, do you remember it? It was the first time that I saw an emotion other than pure boredom on your face. That duelling look you gave me almost made my heart stop." Eren reminded himself that he wasn't alone, so he lowered his voice even more to make sure nobody else could hear him.

"Shit, you brought up all this confusion inside me. You're so much the person I want to be myself. You don't care for what people tell you to do. You do what you want. You go where you want to go. You're so confident in yourself and by the way you do things, you can tell that it has to be justified. The way you beat the crap out of those guys earlier. Man, you were so fast, my eyes couldn't even follow."

"I didn't know what happened to me before it was too late. My admiration for you turned into something else. I can feel it by way my heart clenches right now." Eren was surprised that he could form clear thoughts now of all times, when he was not able to do so in all the past days.

"I didn't even know I was attracted to guys, you know? It's not that I have a problem with it. But it sure is nothing you expect offhand. Now that I think of it, I never felt attracted like this to anyone before you came around." Eren thought to himself that this alone was weird enough for a nineteen years old boy, but given the fact that he had spent most of his time with his sister in his own home, mostly surrounded by elderly employees, it somehow made sense. "So maybe it's just you."

He smiled, looking at Levi's face. He was so caught up in his own murmuring and being near to the man he admired that he started to lose focus of what happened around him.

"I'd like to get to know you better, Levi. Please allow me to be near to you. I don't know exactly what it is that I want, but I want to figure it out. I want to know why you're always running around with that gloomy expression on your face. I want to know what made you choose this kind of job. I want to know the sound of your laugh and what makes you do so. I want to know what exactly it is I feel for you. What I can learn from you."

A small voice inside of Eren tried to tell him that it wasn't necessarily the right time for such a confession, as Levi was currently lying on a surgical table, with five other people in the room and a bunch more right in front of it. But halfway consciously he ignored it because he knew he wouldn't find the guts to tell him all this while he'd be awake. So maybe this was his only chance and maybe Levi was hearing him. Moreover, thanks to their proximity, Eren became drunk bit by bit on Levi's characteristic fresh but spicy scent, which lingered on his skin and his hair. It clouded Eren's mind, causing him to grow a little bolder.

"Remember when you found me in my bed thinking of you and you shut out all the others? I still don't know what to make out of your behaviour back then. Tell me, Levi. Why did you do it? Were you just trying to save me from my self-caused embarrassment because you pitied me or was it something else?" If he hadn't been so occupied with losing himself in the man's scent, he would've felt ashamed and humiliated by his inappropriate behaviour. But at this point, he had almost lost all awareness of their situation and Eren wanted to verbalize what he had on his mind, although it was more of a wish than something he actually believed in. "Or was it because you didn't want anyone else to see me this way? Because deep down, you do like me as well and you wanted to be the only one who sees me all flustered and aroused? I wonder about all the things aside from fighting you can teach me."

The little voice in Eren's head made itself noticeable once again and asked where all of a sudden a virgin like him knew about mating behaviour and how to be kinky.

A loud and penetrating noise exploded around him. Eren's head snapped up and he saw that one of the doctor's assistants had run into one of the machines, seemingly unintentionally.

Eren was smashed back to earth rather hard as he realized what he just did. Also, this was the time he later would determine as when he became a tad schizophrenic.

Oh gosh, what the hell I am doing? Whispering seductive things into the ear of a man who is on the edge of dying? Well done, very charming.

He felt a blush bright as the sun creeping onto his face. Trying to hide it, he let his hair fall into his face, but it didn't help pushing away the disgust he felt with himself. He'd gotten too carried away by his thoughts and Levi being near to him.

Eren peeked through his bangs and looked up to the doctor. She was sewing Levi's wound, but she hadn't said a word since Eren had started talking talk to Levi. All Eren heard was the beeping sounds from the machines that recorded Levi's vitals.

"S-so, how did it go?" Eren tried to fight down his blush and finally lifted his face. "Will he be alright?"

She made some final stitches and let out a long breath. Then she turned her head to Eren and flashed him a bright smile. "That was never in question. Believe me, it takes more than a bullet to knock this one out completely. And you did well, his vitals haven't once dropped." She turned back to Levi and was about to pull out of her gloves when Eren placed on hand on her upper arm.

He looked down ashamed for more than one reason, but he had to apologize. "I'm sorry for calling you a bitch earlier. I didn't know why you were so joyful despite Levi was almost dead in my arms."

She laughed out loud and clapped Eren on his shoulder where she left some of the bloody mess of her gloves, which she didn't even seem to notice. "Ah, no problem! I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn't care about him. Bit that's not the first time I put him back together and by comparison, this truly was a lightweight."

Eren wondered what else Levi had gone through. "Is there anything I can do for him?" he asked.

"Sure, one of my assistants will bandage him now. So if you wanna, let it be explained to you and see how it's done and then do it yourself for the next two or three days. That spares us from coming back here every day and if you have questions," she pulled a card out of her pocket and handed it over, "here's my number. Feel free to call any time. By the way, my name's Hange Zoe. Nice to meetcha!"

Eren took the card from her. "Thanks, nice to meet you too. My name is Eren." And while she got freed from her surgical gown, the blankets lying on Levi were also removed. When Eren heard a suppressed shriek, he and Hange turned to one female assistant who was staring at Levi's mid-section.

Obvious and exposed to everyone's gaze was a rather visible bulge in Levi's jeans. Eren was about to blush a deep wine red while he heard Hange's piercing voice echoing through the room.

"Ahahahaha, oh my god, oh my GAD! I can't believe it!" She bucked over due to her hard laughing. "His face will be priceless when I tell him that he got a boner while I had my hands inside of him. He might kill me on the spot, but it'll be so totally worth it!"

When everyone around her stayed quiet and an indignant silent fell across the room, she finally caught her breath and explained: "No worries, it's a side effect of the anaesthetic. It contains hormones of happiness which can lead to symptoms like that. Beside it's a perfectly fine body function and it won't hold for long so don't let it bother you."

Eren only noticed the second moment that Hange wasn't talking to him, rather to her assistant. She turned around, walked up to Erwin and they talked about something else. Eren's eyes flexed back on the man lying in front of him.

It wasn't possible that his whispering in Levi's ear caused this reaction, was it? That would be too good to be true.

Hange's assistant was beginning to unpack the bandages and asked Eren to help her holding Levi's upper body upright. Eren hesitated before he touched Levi's naked skin, but he tried to keep his head straight. It surely wasn't the time or the place to admire the smoothness and warmth of his skin or the fact that Eren could feel his firm muscles underneath it. So he focused on what the woman was telling him. She explained him every step of how, where and why to put the bandages. Which was kind of unnecessary since she also mentioned that she had to do it only once and the next time the bandages would be removed, he had to put on different layers of fabric and fix them with special tape. But he still listened. Who knew when something like that might come in handy.

When she was done, Erwin heaved Levi onto his bed, and soon he and Hange said their goodbyes to everyone who was around. Their assistants packed their surgical equipment and after the conversations, after all the noises, everything finally became silent and Eren sat next to Levi's bed, still on the very same stool they had seated him on earlier.

He sat there and listened to Levi's soft and steady breathing. His head had become more and more blank with the minutes passing by.

He couldn't tell if it had been minutes or even hours when eventually he heard a soft knock breaking the silence in his mind. It was Armin.

"Hey Eren. You okay? Why don't you come down with me and we grab you a bite?"

Eren had forgotten about any needs. Considering Armin's question, it must had become evening by now and he hadn't eaten a thing or went to the bathroom once. "I'm fine. I want to stay here until he wakes up."

Levi would most likely kill him for being in his room and watching him sleep, but Eren couldn't care less. All that mattered was that Levi was alright. And Eren would stay right in his place until he woke up to confirmed that to him.

Armin knew how stubborn Eren could get, so he saw no point in debating. He told Eren that he would let Maria bring him something and solicited him to eat.

When Armin was gone, Eren looked around. It was already dark outside and only the moonlight illuminated the room. He had to busy himself to avoid falling asleep. If he slept, he wouldn't notice if Levi's condition got worse. So he grabbed the cleansing stuff he saw in an open sideboard door underneath the TV and started to scrub surfaces, dusted every object and wiped the floor. Hange told him that Levi would wake up in the morning or maybe in the noon and he assumed he'd like to do so in a clean room. So next, he went to the bathroom and cleansed the tiles, the sink, the toilet. It wasn't hard work since it was spotless already, but Eren couldn't think of anything else to do. He polished and preened and scrubbed everything he could get his hands on and after quite a while, he collapsed back on the stool, every last bit of remaining energy sucked out of his system.

The day was taking its toll on his body while his mind already had given up. He sank down on the mattress in front of him until his head was lying beside Levi. Eren turned his face watched the man breathing in and out, his lips faintly parted. He looked so peacefully. Outright different from the grimness that usually settled on his face. Before Eren recognized it, his lids had closed and he drifted into sleep.