CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
After Eren had finished his homework for today, he and Armin were in the living room on the first floor. His father had announced earlier that day that classes were gonna start again and that Eren's grace period had ended. Naturally, his father didn't had a clue that the real grueling Eren went through had been after his near-death experience. When he thought about it, this actually was a good time for classes. At least it would gave him something to keep his mind busy with. Okay, maybe there were other ways to do so that he would prefer over studying. Like with what Levi had done to him in the living room.
He'd been so certain Levi meant something else when he said they should go to bed. But unfortunately, Eren's high hopes had been in vain. When he wanted to follow Levi into his bedroom, he had looked at him as if he'd become mental and ordered him to 'lie down in his own fucking bed'. So he'd been lying on his sheets last night, all by himself again.
Now standing in the mansion's second living room, Eren looked across the pool table while Armin measured his shot. Something was off with his friend today, but as the blonde sank three balls with one cue stroke, it sure as hell wasn't his game.
"Jesus, Armin. Four wins in a row. Remind me why I bother playing with you?"
"Because hope springs eternal." Armin tossed back the tail end of his soda. "You want another game?"
"Why not. My odds can't get worse."
"You rack while I get a refill."
As Eren collected the balls from the pockets, he realized what the problem was. Every time he turned away, Armin was staring at him.
"You have something on your mind, my friend?"
Armin poured himself another glas, then took a long drink from it. "Not particularly."
"Liar," Eren smirked. "You've been giving me the hairy eyeball since this morning. Why don't you get real and spill it."
Armin ocean eyes met his mild glare head-on. "You better, Eren?"
Eren dropped the eight ball and dimly heard it bouncing on the marble floor. "What? Why would you-?"
"You've been thinking about your mother lately, haven't you? I noticed your behaviour. As did Mikasa. But you seem better, at least you do today." As Eren cursed, Armin picked up the black ball and sent it rolling back over the green felt.
"She might have passed my mind once or twice, yes. Does it matter?"
"You know, it does. I understand that you won't talk to me or Mikasa about it. We're too close. But I still think you should see somebody about it."
"It's not like I haven't tried. It just didn't work out for me. Everyone has their own way of dealing with those things. Let's talk about something else, please. How's your grandpa? You haven't told much about him since you came back."
"You didn't seem like talking… But well, he's fine. He recently discovered a huge gap in Russia's military forces and I helped him fix it. He got on a plane there shortly after I came by, but he promised to keep me posted how it is working out."
Eren heard footsteps coming closer from the main hall and then he saw Levi passing the door.
Unsure of what to do, but feeling the need to say something, he shyly raised his hand. "H-hey Levi."
The man stopped and stepped between the doorframe's beams. Shit, he hadn't expected an actual reaction. What now?
As Eren was a bit lost at what he should do next, he could practically feel his friend's mischief breaking free behind him. And before he could stop him, he heard Armin addressing the raven: "Hey man. Wanna join us?"
No, not good. Eren wasn't sure how to handle Levi in the presence of other people. Even if it was a long time, no-one-knows-him-better kind like Armin. Because seriously, he never knew how Levi would react to him. He had already flattened him against the library's book shelves, jumped him and kissed him without warning, and yes, this was the correct order things had went down between them. Unimaginable, if something alike would happen while Armin was witnessing. Because in all honesty and regardless of that he loved him like a brother, Armin could be a fucking tease, if he gets comfortable around you. He would never let Eren live it down if anything embarrassing happens in front of his very eyes.
And now inviting Levi to play with them, the blonde was probably hoping for exact that to take place.
Levi walked in the room and up to the pool table. "Are you any good?"
Trying to get the upper hand of the situation, Eren answered: "Are you serious? Not a single person on this property was able to beat him since he turned ten. But most of us are still letting him beat us, though, to help him overcome his issues about his lacking height-"
Eren stopped in his tracks, wide-eyed, when Levi's look shifted from fairly neutral to pissed.
Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that.
But his eyes softened just as quickly. "Never mind, kid. True greatness has nothing to do with your physical size. I heard you two talking about your grandpa and his involvement in Russia's military?"
"Yeah, you're versed?" Armin stepped in.
"Not particularly. But I've been in Russia for a couple of years and got a glimpse at their forces' plans concerning the USA."
As fast as he wanted to get a lead in their conversation, Eren lost his active part in it again, for he was too amazed that Levi even was proficient in a topic like such. Knowing what he did for a living, it wasn't hard for him to put the pieces of the reason for his stay in Russia together, as he listened to him talking. Maybe it didn't stop with just contract killing. Maybe it went even deeper, like infiltration and alike.
"And what do you think about those plans?" Armin asked nonchalantly as if they weren't discussing stuff that could possibly provoke a third world war, as far as Eren understood.
"The same as I think about all kind of openly dealt wars. The higher ups mask their goals behind big words like peace and justice, while the rest of the popularity just goes with it, completely blind to the fact that fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity. It's inefficient, way too messy and you'll never get what you're after that way."
The both of them continued their exchange as Levi grabbed a cue, and joined their game. It didn't take Eren long though, to be the first one to lose. So while the blonde and the raven kept playing, Eren sauntered over to the couch and watched them duelling for the first place. Which took quite an amount of time. Although Armin's shots were nothing but perfectly calculated, it was obvious that Levi beat him in experience. Therefore they were pretty well matched.
Silently sipping at his cola, Eren marvelled if there was something this man wasn't good at.
Later that night, actually quite later, Eren flopped over in bed and pushed the covers and blankets off with his feet. Half asleep, he splayed his legs out to try to cool down.
Had he left the thermostat on too high?
Standing up and walking to the oriel, he cracked open the window behind the closed curtains. Cold air took the invitation to heart and rushed in, cooing him, calming.
His body felt hot. Had he actually catched a fever from being out the night, Levi picked him up? He lifted the back of his hand to his forehead. No, he wasn't that kind of warm.
More like when he had a bad dream and his body reacted with too much adrenaline.
He listened to the serenity of the night. Other than the wind's gentle whistling, it was silent around and inside of the mansion. No rustling of the maids' feet, running down the halls and starting their days. No gardeners transporting their wheelbarrows or tools from the shed to where they were needed. Therefore, it had still to be pretty early. Eren looked to the grandfather's clock to his right. 3:30 in the morning. Made sense.
Feeling too awake to fall asleep again any time soon, he decided to screw up his courage.
He drew on the black robe from a chair and bolted out of the bedroom. With quick eyes, he checked up and down the hallway. No witnesses. Good. Closing the door quietly, he glided over the Persian runner, making no sound at all, and stopped at the next door down the hallway. He took a deep breath. And knocked softly.
Through the door came, "Fuck off. I've crashed."
Eren turned the knob and pushed. Light from the hall barged in, slicing a pie wedge out of the darkness. As the glow hit Levi, he straightened in the armchair he was sitting in, his face nothing but a billboard for a rankly pissed-off man.
"What are you doing, brat?"
Good question, Eren thought as his courage dimmed.
"Can… can I stay here with you?"
Levi looked like had a hard time processing what Eren just said. Then he frowned. "No, you can't."
"Please-"
"No," he snapped. "Now get out of here."
"I- I can't sleep. And as it seems, you can't either. I thought we could...," Eren trailed off.
As Levi stood up from his sitting position, Eren noticed that the belt around his hips was open. As well as the fly of his jeans. He watched the raven walking into his bathroom, holding something in his hand Eren couldn't make out, and then disappeared from his sight. Only one moment later, he came back and ran his hand through his dark hair while looking at him. His chest expanded.
"Don't make me go," Eren whispered, still standing in the doorway.
When Levi cursed his favoured F-word, Eren exhaled in relief, figuring that was as close to a yes as he was going to get.
He stepped inside and closed the door, lowering his eyes for a moment before he turned around.
"So? What keeps you awake this late at night?"
"I am not much of a sleeper."
"Funny. I am known to be able to sleep wherever I nod off." As Eren made his way across the room, the raven stayed unmoved, not flinching an inch away as Eren entered his personal space. As their eyes met head on, this particularly blueish colour bled its way into the older man's grey irides; the one Eren had noticed before, in the quiet moments they had shared together when it had been just the two of them. The one Eren thought he had just imagined. But there it was, undeniable, melting his bones and enlightening a fire in his guts.
"Yet, you're here now."
In a burning rush, Eren imagined himself looking down at the man before him while their bodies were merged, the other's face inches from his own. The fantasy had him lifting his arm. He wanted to run his fingertip down that face until it got to his mouth. Just to know the feel of him. Levi's stare was unwavering, his eyes even intensifying in their colour, but still as unreadable as Eren was about to ...
A loud growl emerged from Levi's stomach, freezing them on spot.
And Eren bursted out in laughter, holding his cramping belly muscles.
"Hahaha, shit~! That was close to blasting my poor eardrums, man! Didn't you eat-"
Before he opened his watering eyes again, he felt a dull but forceful pain spreading from his shoulder, and he flew across the room, into the dresser.
A bit disorientated, but still giggling, Eren looked up to the man standing in front of him, who didn't seemed to have moved at all. But that sure as hell had been a kick that had sent him down to the floor.
"If you're hungry, just say so. I could grab a bite as well." Eren leaned on his arms and pushed himself up, and although he just learned the sacrifices for making fun of the shorter man, he still couldn't stop giggling. "How about me going down and quickly preparing something for us?"
"No."
"Aww, come on! Your body doesn't lie about stuff like that. Where's the hurt?
"I said no," he heard Levi saying as he already turned to the door, making his way out.
"Yeah yeah, I'll be right back," Eren replied, lifting his hand and waving it as a sign of 'I'm outta here.'
Eren stood over the stove thinking of the way Levi had looked at him. Before his evidently prominent hunger had pulled the brakes on whatever they had been about to do.
Now down in the kitchen on ground floor, he flipped the omelette over and headed for the refrigerator, feeling blessed that everybody else was still sound asleep. Taking out a plastic container of cut fruits, he spooned all there was into a bowl. It didn't look like enough, so he grabbed a banana and sliced it on top.
When the omelette was finished and the toast buttered, Eren rolled a fork up in a napkin, tucked the twist under his elbow, and took the plate and the bowl back up to Levi's room. Quickly, he shut the door behind him and turned to the bed.
Seeing Levi sitting in his chair, he said: "I decided on omelette and a bit of fresh fruit. I hope you're okay with it."
Yeah, if there wasn't the risk of waking the damn house, I would've prepared something a la Four Seasons for you , he thought by himself.
He placed the dished at the foot of the bed's mattress. "Wanna come here and eat?"
Levi's mood still seemed sour. "I told you, I won't eat anything. What retard eats at such an hour?"
"The one that's hungry and unable to sleep? Seriously, your stomach spoke for itself, so suck it down and eat already. It'd be very rude if you don't take a bite since I made the effort to prepare it for you."
"Rude is my second nature," the raven said with a stern face.
Which had Eren smirk smugly. "I know, I know. You're one badass second to none in this world. Now grab a piece of the omelett before it gets cold."
Narrowing his eyes and aware of the fact that Eren was still making fun of him, and only God knows where he took the bravery from, Levi rose once more from his chair. But instead of sitting down on the bed next to Eren, he took the plate with the omelette as well as the fork and the napkin and returned to where he came from. Putting everything down on the table, Levi sat down and started neatly cutting bit by bit of the omelette before bringing the bites to his mouth.
Feeling awkward to watch him eating, mostly because he was too focused on the way Levi's lips moved and his jawline tensed up with every chew, Eren laid back against the bed's headboard and the cushions and picked a piece of fruit from the plastic container. When only the best ones of the straw- and blueberries and the other fruits were left, which he wanted to spare in case Levi wanted some as well, he lifted his head and saw that the other man also finished his meal.
He nodded to the flat-screen TV on the wall. "Wanna watch a movie? Like actually watch one this time?"
Levi twisted around in his chair. "Sure, why not. It's been a while since I did that. What have you got?"
"We got cable, so we have everything." In an off-hand kind of way, Eren nodded to the pillow next to him. "Why don't you sit here? You won't really be able to see anything from there."
He hoped he hadn't been too obvious about his intentions. But he wanted Levi to be next to him. He wanted him to be… close.
Even as the other man's brain evidently cramped up over the situation, he stood up and went to the bed, settling next to Eren and crossing his arms over his chest and his legs at the ankles. God, when he felt the mattress move, Eren felt his boldness deflare. Instead of feeling encouraged, he got nervous the way you were when you were on a date. At least that was what he imagined it to be like. Butterflies. Sweaty palms.
Hello, adrenal glands.
"So, what kind of stuff do you like to watch?" Eren asked as he palmed a remote that had enough buttons on it to launch a space shuttle.
"How about Lawrence of Arabia?
Eren puckered his lips. "I think I've heard about it, but I've never seen it. Let's give it a try."
Flashing a grin to Levi, he pushed some buttons on the remote, and search through the video library until he found the title.
He pressed play and slid down the mattress into more of a lying position.
Watching the movie's intro, he sighed mentally. This thing looks old as a grave… talk about bad taste , he thought as he remembered Levi's comment down in the living room the other night.
Growing bored within the first ten minutes, he snuck a peek at the man next to him. Levi seemed oddly focused on the screen. Eren found it really hard to believe that he honestly liked such movies, but he decided to take advantage of his preoccupation. Turning onto this right side, he laid his head on top of his crooked upper arm, using it as a pillow. Pretending to still pay attention to the crappy film, he kept his head facing the screen, while from the corner of his eyes he fixed the other's arm. By pure accident of course, he placed his own other arm so close to it, they almost touched. And when Eren moved a bit and they actually did, he saw Levi tensing slightly, but he didn't flinch his arm away. On the contrary, that heady scent of spices and soap emitted from the raven's body, flaring up and making Eren feel like he was bathing in it. Which felt devine. So Eren continued. Starting with his arm, he run his fingertips in tiny circles on the smooth skin beneath them, before letting them wander up and down Levi's forearm. Looking up again, he saw Levi's eyes tracking the movement with a suspicion Eren took no offense at, his muscles twitching, flickering as he passed. He stroked him slowly, letting him get used to his touch, and when he felt safe enough, Eren pushed himself on his elbow, leaned down, and put his lips on Levi's clothed biceps. His shoulder. His collarbone. The top of his pectoral.
He eyed the bed. In a smooth movement he hopped on top of the sheets. Which was an achingly bad idea. The moment they decided on what they'd be watching, Eren molded himself to his hard edges until he was another blanket. A soft, warm, breathing…
Levi felt panik rising the surface. There was too much of the brat against him that he didn't know what to do. He wanted to shove him away. He wanted him even closer. He wanted… oh man, he wanted to mount him. Take him. Fuck him.
The instinct was so strong he saw himself doing the deed; rolling him onto his stomach, pulling his hips off the bed, rearing up behind him. He imagined pushing it inside of him and pumping with his hips.
God, it was loathsome. To want to take that dirty thing out and force it into him? He might as well shove a toilet brush in his mouth.
"You tremble…," the kid said. "Are your cold?"
Shit, don't let my voice fail me now. "It's nothing. Watch the movie," Levi said, mentally congratulating himself for not having to clear his throat beforehand and ruining his facadé with it. He sounded pretty slick, if he did say so himself.
After some time in which Levi refrained from responding to Eren's affections, the boy eventually settled his head on Levi's shoulder and returned to just watching the movie.
A good hour later, and still only halfway through the movie, he heard Eren say, yawning: "This is the worst load of shit I've ever seen."
Though not verbalizing his thoughts, Levi agreed with him. It was boring as fuck. Which was the reason why he'd picked it. He had hoped the brat would fall asleep, giving him time to adjust to this new development. He would've never expected the him gather the guts to do something like paying him a visit in the middle of the night. The brat's whole behaviour once again was something totally new to Levi. As he tried to bring all the pieces he knew about the boy together, he watched him stretching his back and putting his head in the nape of his neck.
And shit, he had a nice throat.
Levi's fangs unsheathed and he imagined pulling a classic Dracula, rearing up over his prone body. He forced himself to look back at Peter O'Toole.
Some time later, he finally sensed the boy drifting into sleep.
As Eren unconsciously stretched out on his bed, Levi was ashamed to admit it, but he'd spent a lot of days wondering what this would be like. Feel like. Smell like.
As the boy's chest brushed against Levi's, he tried to tell himself he didn't need this. Tried to pretend that he didn't need the feel of someone beside him, that he wasn't eased as he lay head-to-toe with another person. That he didn't care about the warmth and the weight against his body.
That it didn't heal him.
As Levi turned towards the boy and wrapped his arms around him, he needed it all. With the shooting and him almost losing control and being ignored for days, he craved the closeness of another, needed to feel arms that returned his embrace.
He had to have the beat of a heart against his own.
He had spent so much time keeping his hands away from others, keeping himself apart from others. To let down his guard now with the one person he somehow longed for, for reasons he didn't comprehend, made his eyes sting.
As Eren shuddered in his sleep, Levi felt the trembling in the male's shoulders and hips. Knowing it was illicit, but unable to stop himself, he took his hand and buried it deep into Eren's nape. While the boy let out a groan and moved closer, Levi shifted his eyes over to the door.
The only reason he didn't feel awkward as hell was because he knew that Eren would have no memories of this private moment. Otherwise he couldn't have handled it. Shit like this didn't happen often in his life - mostly because he didn't let it.
Eren shifted, and his legs brushed against Levi's through the blankets. With a stab of guilt, he recalled the times he'd imagined himself with Eren, imagined the two of them lying as they were now, imagined them . . . well, sleeping wasn't part of it. Strange, though. Now that it was happening, Levi wasn't thinking anything sexual towards Eren. He looked back at the boy in his arms. No, right now all he wanted was to keep him safe. Which surprised him even more.
As time stretched out languidly, uncurling like a lazy dog on a hazy summer night, his eyes never left Eren's face.