CHAPTER NINETEEN
Carefully, Eren balanced the glass of milk and the plate with the bread and meat stacked, while lifting a hand to open the door to the library. It was next day's morning, 7 a.m. and a Saturday. Normally, he would be swearing bluntly if he was awake this early in the morning on a class-free day, but this time it was no one else's fault but his own.
He hadn't slept well again, and he felt like it was slowly becoming a habit of his. Which was even more unlike him since he was known for his ability to fall asleep wherever he laid his head down when he was tired. He wouldn't even wake through an earthquake. But this morning some little noise woke him up, like some light-sleeper he'd never been before. While trying to figure out what that noise might have been, his stomach had started clenching and begging to get filled.
He pushed through the large double winged door and walked into the second story room, right up to the desk standing under a little spiral staircase that again lead to the upper floor.
Sitting down in the desk chair and with a wall plastered with books behind his back, he took in what he'd prepared himself for lunch.
He wished he'd put the sandwich together better. Maria had shown him how to do it right some time ago, and no doubt it would have looked less messy if she had done it. But Eren didn't want to contact her about something like that at such an hour, and he also wanted to prepare it himself.
Turning around, he took a book from the shelves behind him. This was one, he'd started a while ago, and for some reason he hadn't continue.
It hadn't been a bad book at all. In fact, he liked it very much. T.C. Boyle's World's End was the story of several generations of families in the Hudson River Valley, and it truly entertaining. Dark, satirical, but entertaining. Especially the way Boyle brought together all the different characters and storylines was masterfully. He started reading it after watching one episode of How I Met Your Mother with Mikasa a few months ago.
What better time to continue a neglected story then early in the morning when he cannot sleep anyway?
He placed his fingers on the top of the book's spine, and tried fumbling in out of its spot on the tightly packed rack. After succeeding, he turned around again, opened the page he left his bookmark in, and balanced it vertically in the cradle of his palm while with his other hand grabbed he for the sandwich.
Eating and reading at the same time, he hoped his poorly packed snack wouldn't fall apart and make a mess of this place.
After a good two hours and almost reaching the middle part of the story, Eren felt his eyes closing again. He'd never been one to handle lack of sleep well. He didn't know how some people can get along with little to no sleep night after night and not losing their minds.
Placing the mark back between the pages, he laid down the book and thought about doing the same with himself on the chaise longue at the other end of the room. Armin should be awake by now, but somehow he felt like wanting to be by himself a little bit longer. Throwing the napkin from the sandwich in the wastebasket, the plodded through the room and laid down into the cushions, turned onto his back and put one arm above his closed eyes.
In the silence of his own breathing, he felt the dump beating of his heart in his chest as well as in the hollow of his knee. It didn't hurt as bad as he thought it would after he'd went up to his room the previous evening. Seemed like Levi's first aid treatment had really done the trick.
Man, why couldn't this stupid weirdness in his "relationship" with the man just scram. He felt like he was in that Katy Perry song that wouldn't stop playing in the radio a good ten years ago. Levi was hot and then cold, yes, then he's no… yeah, the next line he didn't want to think about. In a nutshell, Levi confused him massively. His actions were completely ill-matched, one moment he was all over him, his skin feeling hot against his own, and then, out of the blue, he was acting like he wanted to get as far away from him as possible.
Well, he never actually fled from him. Most times Eren was the one who left. But he could see it in his eyes.
Those stupid eyes in the colour of stones and just as hard. Piercing like daggers pushing through your skin. But oh so very captivating when softening before your own.
Levi hadn't lied when he said he just had to be standing for those other things he wanted to teach him. He'd been kind of surprised when Levi caught him as he felt the library after he'd wake up and told him, he should be down in the basement at 6:00pm and that he didn't need his training clothes. He'd been almost certain that after both lessons ended in Levi being on top of him and Levi evidently not being cool with it that the older man would quit trying to teach him.
And what he could possibly learn down in the basement without training or swim clothes, Eren had been scrambling his head over ever since.
When he stepped down the stairs, opened the door to the basement, and saw Levi standing in front of a special steel door, he didn't pass all that often, it dawn on him.
By the far end of the gym and behind the door Levi was waiting at, was a shooting range was located. Feeling a bit unsettled, Eren strolled over to him, and Levi pushed the door open. "Take place against the wall."
Eren followed his order and settled back against the whitewashed concrete. The place was built along the lines of a shoe box, all long and thin, and it had two shooting booths facing outward. The targets hung from tracks stretching down the ceiling and each one could be manipulated remotely from the master station to vary distance or provide movement. They were shaped like heads and torsos, which alone made Eren feel even more uncomfortable. He hadn't had a problem with weapons all together, but somehow he really wasn't into firearms. Knives, daggers or even crossbows; stuff you used for hunting... yeah, those things were cool. But firearms? They were scary to him. Definite. Used to kill other people. And deadly almost every time, even if handled by a toddler or the earth's last blithering idiot. Often even more so then.
Levi shut the door, then stood in front of Eren, crossing his forearms over his chest and spreading his stance. As he looked at him, he seemed as impenetrable as what Eren was leaning against.
"Weapon tonight is the nine-millimeter autoloader. The term semiautomatic for these handguns is a misnomer. You will be using a Glock." He reached behind to the small of his back and took out a fatal piece of black metal. "Note that the safety on these is on the trigger." He reviewed the specs of the gun and the bullets.
He stepped in front of Eren. "Give me your hand."
Insecure, Eren presented his hand. He put the gun in it without even brushing his skin. "Hold it like-"
"Wait a minute, I don't-"
"-this." He positioned the butt against Eren's palm. "Here's the safety. On. Off. Got it? On… off. You don't need to be in tight to kill with that, but even if you don't hit your target, it sure as hell will slow down your enemy long enough so you can get away. Just point and pull the trigger. Don't cock it or anything like those fools you see on TV. And aim for the torso, it'll be a bigger target."
Eren stared at the gun, feeling it's lethal weight.
"Tonight we work on stance and aim," he heard Levi saying, his tone suggesting that he wasn't going to argue about today's lesson's subjekt.
Eren took a deep breath, trying to gulp down the heavy knot in his throat as Levi handed him a pair of goggles and headphones for hearing protection, temporary freeing him from the metal again.
Boy, he was willing to bet he was going to suck at shooting. Nothing of this felt right.
Eren didn't look all too well when he had pressed the Glock into his palms. He didn't blame him though. Usually you were better off frightening those things. In the end, fear was what protected you from dying in stupid ways. But after they had parted yesterday, Levi couldn't stop thinking about what would happened to the kid if his job here was done. He was a hothead, that much was evident, and considering his heritage, he should get used to defending himself. No matter how little he might like it, but firearms were one of the most efficient ways to do that. So he had to overcome this fear, at least to a degree where it stopped clouding his ability to make decisions.
And who knew how quickly a situation like that could develop. Levi wasn't so sure anymore if the real threat to the boy hadn't already passed the mansion's doorstep. The effects, he had on him frightened him. Last time, he barely resisted the devil lurking inside him by biting through his own wrist. Without the self-inflicted pain, there was no telling what could have happened. But he couldn't stop. Some wicked gravitational force pulled him back to the boy every time he once anew decided that he should keep away from him.
As he watched the boy eyeing the piece of metal in hands, Levi remembered the first time he'd been out with his boss.
"It's best to think of them as corpses already," Erwin had said, his voice rich and dark. In front of Levi, the halfway headless body had twitched and sank to the ground. They had been taken by surprise, and Erwin didn't managed to make a clean cut the first time. Later, he would teach Levi how to kill cleanly; quickly and efficiently, so that the trauma wouldn't void the guts. He had been used to nasty shit. He really was. But back then, without his senses blurred by emotion or hunger and just trying to concentrate on what he had to learn from Erwin, he had wanted to vomit from the stench.
"They may be moving, they may still be living," Erwin had continued, and little Levi felt his stomach turn violently, "but they are dead all the same. Nothing but breathing, walking corpses in your way who will not hesitate to make you a carcass as well."
... They were dead, and they didn't know it...
Yet.
Levi shook his head and went back to the topic at hand. As he positioned Eren's stance with quick hands, he started going through the laws Erwin had taught him throughout his training and which became a mantra to him he used repeating inside his hand before every new mission he was set on.
He took both of Eren's hands and placed them around the gun's butt. "If the enemy is in range, so are you."
He put the his index finger along the side of the barrel. "The easy way is always mined."
With one hand, he pushed the brunette's arms in a ninety degree angle from his body. "Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous."
He positioned his right leg one step behind. "Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire."
The other leg one step in the front. "If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you."
He pushed Eren's head down so his eyes were level with the rear and front sight. "The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack."
He mentioned for him to pull up his shoulders and put his upper body under tension. "If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush."
He went around him and now placed his index finger on the trigger. "Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out."
He unlocked the safety. "Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing."
He stepped away from Eren. "Shoot."
As Eren lowered the muzzle of the Glock he'd been given, he stared down the range at a target fifty feet away. Slipping the safety back into place, he was utterly speechless.
"That's some real Dirty Harry shit right there," Levi said.
In total disbelief, Eren hit a yellow button to his left and the eight-and-a-half-by-eleven sheet of paper whizzed up to him like a dog being called home. In the center, clustered like a daisy, were six perfect shots.
Holy shit.
A hand landed on his shoulder, and Levi's voice was proud. "You did good, brat. Real good." His chest tightened around his swelling heart. He reached out and unclipped the target.
"All right," Levi said. "That's it for today. Don't forget to check your weapon. And remember, if you're out on your own, keep it in the outside pocket of your coat on the right side. You want it in your business hand if you have to use it." Eren folded up the paper and put it in the back pocket of his jeans.
Half an hour and a quick shower later, Eren went out of his room and walked down the hallway, past Mikasa's and halted in front of the next door. Still jumping in excitement and pride, he unlocked it, bursting into the room. He was just about to call out for the blonde, when the words stuck in his throat. What the…?
The room looked as if hurricane Katrina had paid him a visit.
Everywhere, in every corner, there were pieces of clothing spread out like on an Indian bazaar. Well, if the colors had been taken from it. A dozen white shirts were lying on the sheets. Jackets and blazers and coats in all shades of blue and black adorned the floor, making it look like waves of the sea at night thanks to the various shoes underneath. The only colours were those of the, as it felt, hundreds of ties lying on the drawer, on the shelves, on the table and even one dangled from the curtain rod.
From the bathroom, Eren heard his friend shouting. "Oh, by Willy Wonka, the Wanker, you have to be kidding me!"
Eren tried to suppress his laughter, and instead he sneaked up to the second door of the room, peeking a glance around it's frame.
Armin was standing in front of the mirror, his arms up in the air and his hands tangled in his blond locks. But the very best, even better then his unique style of swearing, was the look on his friend's face.
"I can see you Eren," Armin hissed at him when he spotted his reflection in the mirror.
Eren rose from his hiding position. "What the hell are you doing there?" Eren snickered.
"What does it look like, huh? I'm trying to do my hair, but this shitbag of sunshine on my head doesn't play along." Armin turned around and his expression shifted from angry to wretched. "Eren, please! Help me," he whined.
As Eren gazed at the blond mop, it looked messy and sticky almost as if Armin had tried glueing it flat to his head with about a ton of gel. "You know your hair is way to long for this, right?"
"I just started with the bangs, and when it didn't look the way I imagined, I tried geling back everything! And now… this happened!"
Eren was about to ask why Armin wanted to style his hair in the first place, but then he took in a full head-to-toe sight of his friend. Armin wore a dark grey pinstripe suit, a pair of shiny black dress shoes matching his belt and a shirt in the colour of cream. The first two buttons of his collar open, and its sleeves adorned with expensive looking cufflinks.
"Shit, what're you even up to? You're giving off some serious Dan Price vibes, "Eren joked. "Well, except for the hair, of course."
Armin started to worry his lip between his teeth as his cheeks flushed a fair pink.
"Don't tell me-"
"I might be going out on a date," he deadpanned.
Eren jaw dropped. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me! You? A date?"
As the blonde's face shifted to an expression somewhere between angry and hurt, Eren realized how mean he sounded.
"Sorry, pal. But, come on, why didn't you say something? Who is she? Where did you guys met? Damnit, Armin, you have to tell me everything!?"
"Based on your reaction just now, maybe I shouldn't," Armin pouted, but Eren was hot on his heels as he tried to leave the bathroom. He clung himself around the shorter boy's body, holding him tightly in place.
"Aw, you know I was just teasing. You're making fun of me all the time and now you can't endure some of it yourself? Say, when do you meet?"
Armin, still bearing most of Eren's weight on his back, pulled a pocket watch from his pair of trousers. "In about one hour and a half. I'm picking her up at her house and we'll go eat somewhere."
Eren knew that the last sentence was probably only halfway true. Armin wasn't the kind of guy who takes out a girl without knowing exactly, where to. He likely had combed the whole internet for the ideal spot. But that wasn't the issue at hand.
"That means we've still got time to get this mess out of you hair. Seriously, Armin, just let your hair be like it always is. If your Cameron Diaz look hadn't scared her off already, you'll be fine."
His friend shot him a nasty look, but turned around again and sighed.
"I wanted to prepare some conversation starters in case none of us knows what to say."
"Yeah, you know what? You're the smartest person I know, and if you can't come up with something to talk about, then probably no one will. I wouldn't worry as much about the talking part as I would about your hair at the moment."
Eren let go of the blonde, and walked into the other room. Luckily, the armchair in his room was one with a adjustable backrest. Eren shoved the thing into the bathroom and in front of the basin before turning it around.
"Take a seat."
When Armin gave him a questioning look, he added: "That way you don't risk getting those fancy clothes in a jam. Or ruin your makeup."
His friend sat down, obviously exasperated by Eren's shit-eating grin. "Hey, you're the one who just had his coming out. If anyone's into makeup, it's you, moron. By the way, I didn't know being gay comes with a fable for hairstyling and spa stuff and shit."
"Aw, there's my boy!"
Them two went on with their mutual ragging while Eren searched for a pair of pillows. Armin was sitting a little too low, but after placing two of them under his butt and putting a rolled-up towel in his nape, Eren could finally start washing the mop of blond hair.
"So, how did you two meet?" Eren asked while massaging shampoo into the thick masses.
"She's in one of my classes. Neurobiology. One day, she asked me out on a coffee. I was close to losing my shit, but it turned out that she is really easy to talk to. Her name is Krista."
"Sounds nice."
"It was. But after that we didn't get many chances to talk. Every time I went to her, she had things to do or was dragged away by some freckled brunette girl. I myself was surprised when she wrote me a few days ago that she would be on her way through London and would like to see me."
Eren listened to Armin enthuse about the girl. From what he heard, she seemed pretty much perfect for his friend. Also blond with blue eyes. Even a bit shorter than he was. And a matching shy but caring personality.
He was happy for him that he seemed to have found someone who he enjoyed spending time with. Someone who was easy to talk to.
But in the depths of his mind he asked himself why he couldn't have something like that for himself. Everything he learnt in the fields of crushes and attraction was mind-spinning, illogical and kind of exhausting in the end. But maybe it was because he was inclined towards his own gender that everything was so complicated. Or maybe because he and Levi had already done stuff he couldn't imagine Armin had done with the girl yet. Or maybe, and that was his most preferred guess, it was simply because of the person whom he rooted for. Levi wasn't what people would call 'easy to get along with'. Quite the contrary, actually. But what should he do, he felt drawn to him.
After Eren washed out all the shampoo, he patted his hair dry and then watched his friend blowing away the last of moisture with an air dryer. They kept talking about where Armin and the girl would go to and what he intended to do at the end of the date when things went well for him. Eren was certain that Armin didn't bring up the topic of his own crush for the simple reason that he didn't want Eren to feel bad for having such a hard time while he himself could go out with a nice girl. It was thoughtful of him, but in vain nevertheless. Of course, Eren did think about it.
When Armin finished and was ready to head out, they walked out of the room and into the large entrance hall. In front of the mansion there was a black limousine waiting for Armin and the guy opening the door explained him that he'd also function as his security guard tonight because of the circumstances. Well, that answered the question about Armin's chances for his first kiss tonight.
As Eren was starting to fume about that this personal matter of his father was also affecting his best friend, Armin put if off as if he was actually relieved by not having to think about that. Eren saw him off as he realized that he totally forgot telling Armin about his gun lesson this afternoon and how he aced it.