TMNT: Lullaby for Leo
Ch.9~ Confession
Tossing my helmet onto the cement I growled trying to keep myself from punching the concrete. Splinter was gone. Who the hell took him? Was it the foot? Was it the mystery ninja? Was it him...?
"Raphael Hamato! Answer me! Are you okay?!" Leo yelled from the headset in my helmet.
Picking up the helmet, I pulled it back on, "Yeah I'm fine, just pissed..." I half hissed.
"You can rage later now can you please try to stay focused and not make it sound like you're in trouble!" Leo lectured, as I got back on my motorcycle.
"Someone's in trouble.." Don and Mikey teased.
"Stop fighting you guys, this isn't helping Splinter I know you're all upset but try to remain civil," April stated I sighed.
"We get it Ape, now we searched all over the damn city, I mean we searched places we'd never try to go before," I grumbled.
"I know Raph but till we find a hint to where Splinter could be this is the best we can do." she replied.
"April we're gonna find him, aren't we?" Mikey pleaded I frowned, this must be breaking his heart.
"I hope so Mikey..." she stated.
"Don't worry Mikey we'll find him, come trust me everything's gonna be alright." I soothed.
"Are you sure Raphie?" he asked.
"Of course I am, this is only a question of when" I answered.
"Thanks, Raphie."
(April's POV)
Raph seems pretty mature about the whole thing, sure he had a few incidents top side but overall this is nothing new. Now that we're back at the lair for some rest and planning Raph seems, docile. Leo's being quiet, Don has been over planning till he finally passed out, Mikey cried himself to sleep.
"Leo here I made you some tea, April if you want some too I'll bring you a cup," Raph called.
"Thanks, Raph," Leo muttered I could barely hear him with how softly he spoke.
"Sure Raph, and thanks." I thanked, walking over he handed me some tea. "Do you drink tea?"
"Nah, but it'll calm Leo down..." he replied, has he always been this soft and caring.
"You're good at putting on a tough face, who knew you were such a softie underneath." I half teased, he looked at me blushing.
"What you thought I couldn't be nice?" he huffed.
"No, it's just you kinda act like a hardass, odd to see you be so docile."
"I may be a hardass but I care about my family alright."
Raph has always scared me, he's usually such a hard guy to relate to with his rough coldness. Was this how Raph really was? Maybe that scar on his wrist may be the reason for the personality switch. That scar could only be a failed suicide attempt but what in their past could make Raph consider trying that...
(Leo's POV)
I stared intently at Raph after we found out the truth behind our origins and returned from space he seemed quiet. He scared me a few times he was so willing to risk his life to save Mikey when he fell off the roof. Then he got into a fight in the triceraton jail and grabbed hold of an electric whip to save Donnie. I know this is normal Raph behavior but since we arrived back he's been very unlike himself.
"Leonardo, what are you thinking so intently about?" Splinter asked I turned my gaze away from the living room where Raph was to look at him.
"Since we arrived back Raph has been acting weird..." I answered, Father, took a sip of his tea and gave a gentle smile.
"I assure you whatever is bothering Raphael it will not bother him too long, as we both know Raphael is quite a strong-willed boy." Splinter assured.
"I know but it bothers me to see him act so unlike himself."
"Let the matter go, Leonardo, if it doesn't resolve itself in a weeks' time then you may interject."
I know father is right, but I really want to know what could be bothering Raphael.. Did something he saw in space scare him? Was it that we barely escaped before the TCRI building imploded?
(Raph's POV)
I know I have to tell Leo the truth but how can I, why am I so weak. I used to be able to tell him everything, I mean he saved me from myself. Tracing my wristband over my scar I bite my lip since April is staying with us Mikey has been forced to share my room. Let's just say annoyed he's been sleeping on the couch most of the time.
"Raph are you in here?" Leo asked, getting up I opened the door leaning on the frame.
"What?" I asked.
"You've been acting weird lately."
"You try sharin' a room with Mikey."
"Raph."
"Go away..."
Shutting the door in his face I leaned against the wall, why do I do this? Why can't I just be happy he's concerned, but all I do is push him away. I heard a creak as my door opened, Leo was never one to give up easily.
"Not leaving until you tell me what's bothering you."
"Fuck off."
"Make me."
I glared at him, he was challenging me; I quickly slammed my shoulder into him sending him into the wall right next to the door. Rushing him I pinned him to the wall, my eyes softened as I saw him start to smile. Blushing I let him go, taking his chance, he pinned me to the wall beside me.
"Leo..."
"Please Raphie, tell me I want to help it hurts to see you like this. I swore I'd be there for you, no matter the distance or how far we're pulled apart... Let me help you."
"I..."
"Raphie! Leo! Movie time!" Mikey called, freeing myself from Leo's hold I raced out of the room.
(Leo's POV)
Now that April's moved back to her own apartment things have been back to normal. Sadly, that means me and Raph are once again constantly at each other's throats. Tonight, was a pretty bad one too, he had stormed out a bit ago. When I had checked in with Casey I found out that Raph hadn't called him. That hothead decided to go solo; should I go after him.
Stopping my pacing I ran out of the lair, who knows what kind of trouble that hothead got into.
(Flashback Raph's POV)
I felt the pain in my legs as I ran across the rooftops; shit how did these foot find me! I turned my head to see them hot on my tail, skidding to a stop as I reached the end of the line of rooftops. Pulling out my sais I beckoned the ninja's toward myself. Time to show these punks what I'm made of.
(End Flashback)
My body was all bloody and my muscle strained to keep fighting off the endless supply of foot ninja's. Every time I took one out two took his place, I was gonna get myself killed if I didn't find a way out. I should never have come topside, shit I never should of have had that dumb fight with Leo either. Looks like I'm going to leave this world soon.
A few more painful slices appeared on my body; they were carving me up like a pumpkin. I heard a voice shout out something so loud it overpowered the sounds of my battle. My vision blurred, and I began to fall, I felt someone catch me. I let my eyes close as my world faded to black.
(Leo's POV)
I held Raph's out cold bloodied up body in my arms, the foot all fled and my eyes began to tear up. No not Raph, I almost lost him twice I don't want to lose him, not now or ever. Leaning my head down into his shoulder closest to me I sobbed. If there is a god or goddess please save him, I know he's a hothead and rough around the edges, but he is soft, warm and gentle underneath and I love him.
"You're such an idiot you have to survive because you promised me that me and you could be together again someday, open your eyes! Please wake up Raphie and tell me I'm just being a worrywart; don't you dare die on me you dumbass!" I shouted, shaking his body.
"Leo." he mumbled in his state of unconsciousness.
Picking up my phone shakily I dialed Don's number, holding it up to my ear I choked back a sob. I heard him pick up and growl at Mikey for annoying him.
"What's up Leo?" he greeted
"Can you get up here, Raph's all beat and bloody I have no clue what building we're on but I don't wanna leave his side can you..." I started.
"Be there soon I'll track your cell signal." he replied worriedly and hung up.
Putting away my phone I sobbed loudly, he had blood dripping from every body-part, nothing looked lethal but he did look nasty. The only injury that worried me was the deep cut on his right leg, it looked nasty and he had weak legs some days already.
"Raph I'm sorry, I should never have yelled at you..." I cried.
"Leo." he mumbled again, and his forehead creased.
"Raphie I love you."
I gently pressed my lips against his, pulling away I saw his lips move to form a word but there was no word with it. Raph was my world, he was my everything I could barely last a year without him. I couldn't live the rest of my days without him. Cursing my actions, I kissed him again and his lips trembled as they met mine, pulling away I tried to hold him as best as I could.
Please, Don, hurry!
(Splinter's POV)
Walking into Raphael's room I saw Leonardo asleep with his head resting next to Raphael's unconscious body. Raphael has shown no sign of waking up since the boys brought him home two days ago. This was odd even with all the wounds he had received, I have a feeling this slow recovery is spawning from my son's pained heart.
"Father, you've come up to check on Raph too?" Donatello said, turning I saw my intelligent son looking past me worriedly at Raphael.
"Yes, I fear that something must be causing Raphael's slow recovery," I replied, letting my son in he patted Leonardo's shoulder before examining Raphael.
"Father, I was wondering if you'd ever let them be together again?"
"Only when the time is right; Raphael is still carrying much pain from his year disappearance. I feel that until he is ready to talk about it that their relationship would not be a healthy one."
"Were you ever truly against us having relationships?"
"When you were small, time as opened these old narrowed eyes. I had never imagined that me stopping that relationship would have ended with such drastic actions..."
"I'm assuming I can't tell anyone that Raphael's shell can come off."
"So, you've discovered that."
"Speculated for a while but when I was treating him I confirmed my suspicion."
"Do not tell anyone, Raphael will tell you all in due time."
Donatello sighed and walked out of the room, turning I left the room as well shutting the door behind me.
(Raph's POV Dream)
I was sitting on the cold ground, looking to my left I saw myself being thrown into the back of that van. Then it went black, a new picture popped up it was of me rubbing my swollen belly from when I was carrying Vincent. I saw how confused my expression was, I had no idea how to handle the situation. Next, it showed me rocking Vincent in my arms as I gazed down at him smiling.
Guilt. I let myself be taken, leaving my poor son in the clutches of that bastard. How could I ever let that happen, he was my baby I should have gone right after him. Saving him should be my top priority.
Seeing the room blacken again I looked in the other direction an image appeared. It was of me crying into Leo's shoulder as he carried me home. Next, I saw me and Leo fighting, then quickly it showed us kissing.
My heart ached, I was so torn, I wanted to run off and save my son but how could I leave Leo. Then I saw me fighting off the foot and the feeling of loss and anger washed over me. No. I won't give up, I'll rise up and keep fighting. No more guilt, I will save Vincent, and I'll get to be with Leo again. Though I know when I get up I still won't be able to tell him, I will keep trying. Soon I'll be able to tell him, soon I'll be strong enough to face reality.
(End Dream)
Opening my eyes, I looked wearily to my bedside to see Leo's head resting on my bed. He had a blanket draped over his shoulders, most likely put on him after he was asleep. Rolling over, groaning as my movement brought pain I rubbed his head.
"Leo... the truth is I'm a girl now, I have a son named Vincent please help me save him," I whispered, he stirred, and his eyes opened.
"Raphie you're awake!" he cried wrapping his arms around me. Did he hear me?!
"Leo, did you hear me?" I asked he shook his head.
"I heard your voice but I didn't catch what you said."
"I said... I love you a lot, and wanted to thank you for saving me again."
"No problem, I'm just glad you're alright."
Why?! I had the perfect chance to tell him the truth and I don't! Frowning at my actions, I felt his lips touch mine. Melding against his kiss I felt his hand cup my cheek. Next time I'll tell him...