CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Levi was not a happy camper as he sat on the dining table next evening, the whole household gathered. Grisha for once decided to keep his kids company, but that wasn't in any interest for Levi. All day long he'd been distracted, vaguely pissed off, achy as shit, and in desperate need to collect his marbles. He felt totally off-centre, like he had a heavy duffel bag hanging off one shoulder. And he felt tired . So tired he thought he could easily sleep through a whole month, if not more.

By the time they finished eating and were back upstairs in his room, Levi was having serious trouble concentrating. The hum was roaring in full force, worse than ever before. And he was totally aroused, his body so hot he felt like his blood was going to dry out in his veins.

As Eren went over to the bed and settled in, Levi took a quick shower and wondered if he shouldn't give his erection a short release before he came back out. The damn thing was hard, stiff, aching like a bitch, and the water rushing down his body made him think of Eren's hands on his skin. He palmed himself and remembered the feel of Eren moving against his fingers as he pleasured his entrance. He lasted, like, less than a minute.

When it was over, the empty orgasm just juiced him up more. It was like his body knew the real thing was out in the bedroom and had no intention of being diverted.

Cursing, he stepped out and toweled off, then headed for his closet.

Eren felt the bed wiggle as Levi rolled over.

Once again.

It had been thus for hours upon hours. After he and Levi went up to his room, Eren crashed into his bed almost instantly, so tired was he. But it wasn't long before he woke up again and noticed, Levi had gone to bed with him. He had not slept since that, and he was sure Levi hadn't, either. Unless he moved around a lot whilst in repose. Which would be new to him.

Levi let out a mumble and jerked around, his limbs thrashing. It was as if he couldn't get comfortable, and Eren worried that he was somehow disrupting him… although it was unclear how. He had stayed still ever since.

It was strange, though. He was comforted by his presence in spite of his restlessness. There was something easing about the knowledge that he was on the other side of the bed. He felt safe with him.

Levi lurched again, groaned and— Eren jumped when his hand landed on his arm.

As did Levi. With a low growl he made some kind of questioning sound in his throat, then ran his palm up and down, as if trying to figure out what was in his bed with him. So, he clearly wasn't awake after all.

Eren expected him to pull back. Despite the few times they actually made out in some way, Levi was still trying to keep the physical contact to a minimum.

Instead this time, he grabbed on.

Eren's lips parted in mild shock as Levi made a noise deep in his throat and waded through the sheets, his hand going from his arm to his waist. As if he'd passed some kind of test, Levi rolled against him, a thigh coming against his own, something hard pushing into his hip. Levi's hand started moving, and before Eren knew it the sheets were off his body.

Levi growled louder and pulled him flush to his body such that the hard length now lay across his thighs. Eren gasped, but there was no time to react or think. Levi's lips found his throat and sucked on his skin, the draw causing Eren's body to heat up. He felt Levi's teeth scratching over his rushing pulse, and he wondered why they felt so pointy. Then Levi's hips began to move.

The forward and backward surging fogged his mind and made his own member swell and tingle, something dark and needy unfurling in his belly.

Without warning, both Levi's arms shot around him and he rolled him onto his back, his bangs falling down over his face. A thigh pushed between his legs, and Levi mounted him, that arch and retreat stroking what he knew was his sex against him. God, he felt huge atop of him, but Eren didn't feel trapped or scared. This was something he wanted.

Something he craved.

Tentatively he put his hands on his back. The muscles along his spine were tremendous, and they rippled with his movements under the satin of his robe. Levi growled anew when Eren touched him, as if he liked his hands on him, and just as he wanted to feel his bare skin, Levi lifted up and disrobed.

He then leaned to one side, took Eren's palm in his, and put it between their bodies. On himself.

They both gasped as the connection was made, and Eren had an instant of pure amazement at the heat and the hardness and the size of him… as well the softness of his skin… and the power that seemed to rest in his flesh. He gripped him in reflex as a bolt of fire speared him.

Levi cried out and his hips pushed forward and what was in Eren's hand started to kick. Warm bursts shot out from somewhere and covered his belly.

Levi woke up on top of Eren, with his hand on his cock and an orgasm in full swing. He tried to stop his body, grappled to get a rein on the erotic currents thundering through him, but he couldn't stop the momentum, even as he was aware he was coming all over the other's body. The second the sensations passed he whipped back. And then everything got worse.

Then everything turned into a nightmare.

As the last shudder left his body and went onto Eren, at that moment when Levi was finally spent, his balance was thrown. His bloodlust surged forward in a wicked, consuming rush, as powerful as the lust had been.

Levi bared his teeths and went for his neck, for the vein deliciously close to the surface of his tan skin. His fangs were about to sink deep, his throat dry with thirst for him, his gut spasming with a starvation that cut to his soul, when he pulled himself up short, horrified by what he was about to do.

He pushed himself away from Eren, scrambling across the bed until he fell to the floor, landing on his ass.

"Levi!?" In alarm Eren started for him.

"No!"

The hunger for his blood was too strong, the instinct undeniable. If he got close…

Levi moaned in pain, trying to swallow, keeping his eyes shut. His throat was like sandpaper. Sweat broke out all over him in a sickening flush.

"What happened? What did I do?" he heard Eren yell into the darkness, his tone filled with panic.

Levi crawled backward, his body arching, his skin on fire. The smell of his own release on Eren's skin drifted over to him and it was like a whip against his self-control.

"Eren, leave me. I've got to…" Shit, his voice was shot.

But he sensed him still coming at him. Levi tried to get further away, his body slamming into a commode.

"Get the fuck back!" he hissed loudly. "You get any closer and I'm going to hurt you, got it?"

Eren stopped immediately, terror clouding the air between them.

"You wouldn't hurt me," he heard the brat say with a conviction that struck Levi as dangerously naive.

As he was about to answer, the next wave of pain ripped through his stomach, leaving him panting.

Jesus, what was happening to him?

"Please, leave me!" He heard the desperation echoing through own his voice, as tears started to swell in the corners of his eyes.

"I don't want to leave," the boy whispered.

His thighs shook, the muscles straining against the hold he'd clamped down on his body.

"You have to-." He choked up.

His mind and physical needs had declared war, had marched onto battlefield with swords drawn. And he knew which one was going to win if he didn't get away from him.

"Eren, please. It- it hurts. I don't know how long... I can hold myself back..."

The boy's sorrow rose up around him at his words, the acrid smell of mental pain cutting through, making Levi feel even more abhorrent than before.

He finally heard footsteps aiming for the door and as the hallway's light sliced through the darkness, he hid his face the best he could in his foetal posture.

He pulled his knees as close to his chest as he could, clamped his head between them and wrapped his arms around his shins. As he rocked himself back and forth, he tried to concentrate on the beat of his heart.

On the beat… on the beat… on the beat… on the beat...

Until he lost himself in it.

After some moments, he was able to breathe again.

After some more, the feeling returned in his hands and feet.

And when his mind finally accepted that there was no danger present, he unhinged himself, lying back on the ground.

A noise mingled in the silence of his head. A ticking sound. As he realised where it came from, he turned his head and looked at the clock on his night stand. It was six in the morning. It's… been hours since Eren left.
He'd carried it too far. Erwin was right. He had to go out tomorrow night.

"You look like shit, Eren," his sister addressed him nonchalantly as they sat in the dining hall again. They were having breakfast, but this time it was just the two of them and Armin. His dad had, oh wonder, something better to do than eating with his children and Levi.. yeah, Eren wasn't surprised when he didn't show up this morning.

"Thanks Mika, you say the sweetest things."

He didn't care what he looked like. He had to know what happened back there at night. Fuck, Levi had been desperate. Whatever he did, it must've triggered something traumatizing. He didn't see his face in the dark, but his voice had been… terrified. He who was invincible. To think that there was something that could get a man like him in such a state was rather frightening. But more important was how in the world he could possibly help him. Whatever it was, he had something to do with it. That much was obvious. And he never wanted to see Levi like that again. The only problem was… he didn't know a thing about Levi. Despite the time they spent together, they never spoke about his past or… about him at all. And Eren seriously doubted that Levi would just come out with the language if he'd asked him now. He couldn't just ask someone else either. If it was something that got so under Levi's skin, the thought of it alone felt wrong.

He basically was out of options.

Without paying much attention to the conversation of Armin and his sister, he gulped down his breakfast, ignoring his gag reflex, and headed for his room. Since he didn't know what else to do, he focused on listening if he could hear any sounds coming from the room next door. After some time, he heard a creaking noise, followed by footsteps heading down the hallway. He waited for a few seconds and took after him. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he opened his door and looked around the wooden frame. He saw Levi walking down the stairway's upper steps. As he was out of his vision, he hurried down the hall on silent feet. He wasn't exactly sure what he was doing, but he somehow hoped that watching Levi would give him a clue on how to help him.

He continued his secret mission, and followed Levi everywhere he went. From the kitchen back to his room, and later into the library. Every time he saw Levi's face, Eren had the impression that he was getting a little bit paler. He was uncharacteristically trembly and clumsy, all of his usual grace gone. When Levi was about leave the library again, Eren still hot on his tracks, all of a sudden he saw the raven catching his foot on an uneven bit of the pinewood ground and… he just pitched forward. Bonelessly. Without thinking, Eren no longer flopped silently over the Persian carpet, but shot in the direction of the falling man. When he saw Levi making no effort to recover or even break his fall, a scream echoed from the walls. He hit the ground like a ton of bricks. He was probably out before he connected.

A few hours later, Eren was standing in his house's kitchen, a book in his hands. He stared at the cover where bright colored dishes shine, elaborate and delicious, just as his mother's voice ringed through his head.

"You have to eat properly, darling," she'd said to him. "And since Maria won't always be there to feet you, you need to learn how to cook. Here's my mom's cookbook. It's pretty easy to follow, there's no way you can fail!" She'd assured him with a big smile on her face. Since he'd only been five when she handed him his grandma's records, the book had been sitting on a shelve in his room for over ten years.

Now seemed like the perfect opportunity to see if his mother had been right. Eren opened the book and flipped through the pages, looking for something that looked easy enough so that even he can cook it.

After Levi passed out, and a huge commotion went across the mansion's halls, someone had the presence of mind to call Hange over. She checked on Levi, and it didn't take her long to determine simple circulatory failure as the cause for his fall.

Although it was hard for Eren to believe it, he was relieved. She told him, Levi had to rest and eat as soon as he'd wake up again.

So Eren decided to take care of it himself, despite Maria fussing over him cooking on his own.

When he finally found something attractive enough, judging by the shiny photographs that adorns the pages, he thought, well, I might as well give it a shot .

Pasta carbonara. Looked easy enough. Something fatty and savoury, exactly like Hange advised him.

He started boiling water, and took some eggs, thick cut bacon and pecorino romano cheese from the fridge. Following the steps of his grandma's recipe, he salted the water, threw in a handful of whole wheat spaghetti and started chopping the bacon into little cubes. In a large saucepan, he cooked the bacon over medium heat until crisp, drained the fat, and reserved two tablespoons of the grease. In a mixing bowl, he whisked together egg yolks, whole eggs, and one cup of the cheese. He tossed the drained pasta with cooked bacon, and two tablespoons of bacon grease back into the pan before he added his egg mixture, along with a bit of reserved pasta water and swirled it together with the pasta for about two minutes. At the end he served everything on a plate, and topped it with some of the remaining cheese, freshly ground pepper, olive oil and basil to garnish.

Not bad. It looked almost as the picture. Maybe he should do this more often.

He put the plate, cutlery and a napkin on a tray as well as some freshly brewed black tea. He wasn't sure if tea was the best choice to serve with pasta, but it sure would help Levi get back on his feet.

As Eren walked up to the first floor, he argued with himself whether making an attempt on asking Levi about the reason for his behavior was a wise decision.

He walked through the door, and found said man leaning halfway up against the bed cushions.

"You're awake, that's good. How do you feel?"

The raven stayed silent, but Eren was a bit too agitated to wait for him to come out of his shell. He walked towards the bed and put the tray on Levi's lap. "Here's some food, I hope you'll like it. Hange told me something savoury might be best, so I decided on carbonara. It's a recipe from my grandma-"

He realised he was babbling again, so he stopped walking. "Anyway, here it is."

Eren felt like leaving since Levi still didn't say a single word, but when he turned around to head for the door, a hand grabbed him by his arm.

"Stay."

His fingers are frosty. "You sure?"

When he didn't get an answer, he turned back and saw Levi nod. There was no way to tell what he was thinking when he looked at him.

"Alright."

Eren went around the bed, sat down in the armchair and watched Levi chewing on his food. When he had eaten half of it, he put the cutlery back on the tray, placed it next to him on the bed and looked up at Eren, his eyes soft. "Thank you, Eren."

"Y-... you're welcome." Damn him, even looking entirely spent he got him all flustered.

After an awkward moment of silence Eren said. "You should finish that food."

"I'm done."

"No, you're not." He nodded at the plate. "Go on."

"Not hungry."

Eren stood up from his chair. "I didn't ask if you were hungry. Hange told me to make sure you eat enough when you wake up. And don't think I won't plug your nose and shovel it in if I have to."

There was a short pause and then he… Jesus…

Levi smiled at him. His mouth lifted at both corners, his eyes crinkling.

Eren's breath stopped in his throat.

He was so beautiful like that, he thought. With the dim light of the lamp falling on his hard jaw and his glossy black hair. He looked so much more... human. Approachable.

Eren felt his cheeks heating up. "What's up with the flashy grin? You think I'm joking about the food?"

Levi's eyes stayed on him as he said: "No, it's just… there aren't many people who talk to me like that."

Eren started fumbling on the hem of his sleeves. "Well, I do. You have a problem with it? If not, eat or I feed you like a baby, and I can't imagine your ego would get off on that." That little smile was still settled on his face as Levi put the plate back on his lap and made slow, steady work of the rest. When he was done, Eren went over and picked up the glass of water he'd drained to get him a refill.

"I need to be alone for a minute. I'll come visit you in your room later," Levi said as he came back in.

After Eren left, Levi kept lying on his bed. Shit, what was going on with him? First his breakdown in the night, and now, not ten hours later he loses consciousness.

He picked his cell phone from the night stand and dialed Erwin's number.

"You finally admit I was right?" the blonde answered the phone.

"This is not how it works. I just fed," Levi said, his voice even sounding weak in his own ears. And yes, he had been feeding, on a daily basis as a matter of fact which was more than he ever did, and even if the blood was only half consistent, it had been working, hadn't it? Why not now all of a sudden? "It's not supposed to come back again-"

"Supposed to in one hand, shit in the other, see what you get the most," sounded from the other end of the line. "You're in a bad space, Levi, and you know what you have to do to get out of it, true?"

He'd been aware that this method could only be an interim solution, but really hoped, it would last longer when it suddenly worked out.

There was no way around it, he had to go into town.

"Well, what do you say?"

"Fuck," came the reply.

"Appropriate choice of words, my friend, but not really an answer."

Levi gritted his teeth. "Send me a car by eleven."

"Done. You'll see, this is the right decision."

He thought about the brat and looked down on the leftovers of the food he'd prepared for him. All by himself, with his own two hands.

Then does it feel so wrong? , he wondered.

A few hours later, Levi walked across the entrance hall, measuring the light in the sky from through the windows. Man, he was twitchy as shit.

Even though there must be upward to fifty rooms to wander around, the fact that he was going to to have to stay put until sundown made the mansion feel like a shoe box. But the difficult part was just around the corner.

He strode along the Persian carpet, and when he finally reached his destination, he carefully knocked on the door.

"Come in," he heard a voice from within.

Stepping in, he saw Eren sitting at his desk, scribbling something on a piece of paper, before he turned to him. "Hey, how're you? Feeling any better?"

"I have to go out tonight, Eren." He cut right to the chase, guilt clinging on every single word. "There won't be a replacement this time, since our target isn't within land borders."

The boy's joyful expression transformed into deep worry. Almost as if he knew what Levi was about to do. "Why do you have to go out again?"

"That doesn't concern you-"

"The hell, it does!" Eren suddenly yelled at him. "You fucking blacked out this morning, I had to carry you to your bed! Not just that, what about last night? What the fuck was that? I mean, shit damn, I'm worried about you, Levi! You can't keep me at a distance forever and just disappear or send me away when it gets too heavy for you to bear it. Please, let me help you."

Levi watched the kid's eyes turn from furious to hurt in a matter of seconds. Although he didn't want to see any of these emotions in those huge emerald orbs, he couldn't understand why his announcement upset the boy so much.

He wanted to sooth him, he really wanted to. But boy, he was so bad at this stuff, and his own incompetence angered him. So, all his brain did come up with as a response, was: "How about you get off my dick?"

Great. Well done!

He was about to turn around and end the conversation before he could make it any worse, when all at once a hand grabbed his own and pulled him in the opposite direction. He swayed around and fell directly into the arms of the boy who pulled him into a firm embrace.

"Please, Levi. Let me help you," the sound of his hurt ringed right next to his ear.

Completely overwhelmed and feeling panic rising to the surface as the smell of the kid surrounded him and seemed to slip into each cell of his nostrils, Levi broke away from the contact, away from the embrace. No longer able to keep his own frustration inside him or at least steer it in the right direction, he slammed Eren against the wall to his left, snarling: "Don't you EVER try to get inside my head, you hear me!?"

For several moments they stayed there, eyes locked, hearts racing, his grip crushing Eren's wrists. When his wrath finally ebbed away, Levi's eyes softened and filled with remorse. "It is too dark for you, Eren."