They didn't know. They didn't know. They wouldn't, not now, not ever. And she would keep it that way
Sakura. That's who she was. Billboard brow. Maybe useless, weak, broken. She had never wanted it to end like this but she was so damn tired of it all. She didn't want to smile. She didn't want to laugh. All she wanted to do was sleep. for a very, very long time. she was very aware of everything but it was murky. She wanted to stop existing and just stop feeling. She was nothing, nothing, nothing.
She was okay though. She practiced breathing in and out, like Rin-sensei said to do. She was alright. The world was scary. But it was okay. She'd already gotten through it once, she'll get through it again.
why did mama leave me ?
Sakura didn't speak for weeks, years. She stayed quiet, tired, shadowy. Faded. It was only with great patience that Konan managed to coax her into her arms. Sakura, with her shattered green eyes. Sakura with her slouched shoulders and tired smiles. Sakura, who was so silently kind. Sakura who fed the stray cats and ninken. Sakura who lived in the dark where she wielded it like a cloak, only becoming less sure yet somehow finding herself in it. Sakura who wove stories of magic and time with her quick wit and saddened gaze. Sakura who Konan gently taught and fed and gave and loved. Sakura and her strength.
They were graduating and she allowed to hope that for once, fate would be on her side. She passes the graduate exam fairly easily. She hopes, that she would be able to slide and fade in and out like always. Calm smiles, reassuring presence. She wanted to be a support, but she didn't want the gratitude. But the universe was not on her side and just like that, Sakura was slated into place with the two boys who were so integral to the village. Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. It was a gamble that the universe made, time and time and time again. Sakura would not stay invisible after all.
The jounin-sensei is nice. He's come by the orphanage a couple of times. Sakura thinks she's seen him somewhere else but cannot remember where. Maybe a photograph? His name is Hatake Kakashi. Yet again, the universe is making a gamble with this lot, as it does.
Sakura stands at the fringes of the group. She touches her hair inconspicuously and smooths it back. She recites her history facts and the basic trajectory angles best to throw kunai and shuriken. She is fine.
They have to take a test. Of course they do. She tunes out yelling and blond, darting under the shades of green and shadows that are long familiar to Konoha shinobi. She thinks. Turns the idea over and over again. And she decides she is not worth one of the previous silver bells that mark a path to freedom. She'll sit here. She will wait. Naruto and Sasuke don't need her.
But they do. They come to her in a whirlwind of smiles and sunscreen and monosyllabic answers and messed hair.
They attack him. Sakura is pretty sure it's the absolute worst team of function of formation he's ever seen. She studies the blow and glances at Sasuke. He is impassive, giving a single nod of acknowledgement. She quickly attached a chakra string to a kunai and launces it at Kakashi. She doesn't hit him he merely deflects it like all the others. But she was not aiming for that. She henges and hides in the mass of Naruto clones. She waits. Waits. Calculates. Eyes narrowed she wins for the bells as Naruto and Sasuke shout their jutsu. They don't win but they pass. She is partially proud but also mad. Sasuke grunts, Naruto grins. They invite her to team dinners and she is shocked by the warmth hidden in these two boys.
time starts moving again.