Day Nine, Part 2

Phoebe assumed that they would leave from the same place they arrived, but instead found herself following Rick and Morty for a few blocks. She had to put more distance between them without hordes of students to duck behind or bathrooms and classrooms to dive into to avoid being seen. Seemingly at random they stepped into an alley, and she picked up her pace, filled with the same sense of urgency she experienced earlier. She got there just in time to hear Rick say, "There she is." She flattened herself against the wall and held her breath. "All right. Come on, Morty. Let's go." She exhaled in relief.

"Oh, geez, okay," she heard Morty say.

She peekedaround the corner and saw the two of them standing before a green circle of energy, which she now knew was a portal. Rick stepped in, then Morty. Before she could lose her nerve and change her mind (and before it could close), Phoebe bunched her muscles and then threw herself around the corner, dashed straight toward the portal. She touched it, feeling it sucking at her skin, and then she was stumbling through.

Right into Morty. Rick was talking, but when she came through she sent Morty pitching straight into Rick, who was apparently much stronger than he looked, as he managed not to tumble over under their combined weight. Whatever explanation Rick had been giving cut off when she knocked Morty into him. His hands shot out, one steadying each of them. Phoebe looked up to see Rick scowling at her.

"Phoebe!" Morty exclaimed in surprise at the same moment that Rick snapped, "What the fuck are you doing here? Did you follow us?"

Phoebe blushed. Perhaps she had been a bit impulsive to just follow him through a portal willy-nilly without knowing the destination. "Yes, I followed you. I saw you take the portal to Morty's school and I followed the two of you from there, which in hindsight might not have been the best decision, heh…" She shrugged and met his scowl with a sheepish grin. She regained her balance and shrugged his hand off of her shoulder, glancing around her. "What is this place?"

"Y-y-you can't just show up," Rick hissed. "R-r-riding in on our coattails like that. This is Rick and Morty business, not a free field trip."

"Aw, come on, Rick, let her stay," Morty said. "You said you needed extra hands, Phoebe has extra hands. Plus, I'm kind of scared and she makes me feel better, Rick. I mean, oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing, and I feel safer with her here."

Rick massaged his temples, eyes closing, as if the two of them were giving him a headache. He exhaled noisily. "All right, all right. First of all, I can't fucking believe this shit." He threw both hands into the air, eyes open again. "Second of all, fine, f-fucking fine, Morty, have it your way, the stowaway can stay—" Rick locked eyes with her, dead serious. "But don't screw this up for me, Phoebe. I'm not fucking around."

"Noted," she said.

Rick held eye contact for a moment longer before breaking it and speaking directly to Morty, who, despite his assurances that she made him feel safer, was still clearly on edge. Rick knelt down to his level and put both hands on his shoulders. He sounded calmer, almost soothing, when he spoke to him, as if he'd leashed his feelings about Phoebe's sudden appearance. "Second of all, calm down, Morty. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me and your nosy Aunt, Morty, we're gonna be—"

Rick's eyes grew as round as saucers, his mouth opening in horror. Anything that scared the cocky scientist that badly must be awful. She felt once more like a participant in a horror movie as she turned her head just slightly to see—and wished she hadn't. A giant green alien monster, spider-like in appearance and with lolling tongues and drool dripping from its horrifying mouth, stood just inches from the back of Morty's head. Fuckfuckfuckshitdamnfuckfuckityfuck.

Rick shouted, "HOLY CRAP, MORTY RUN!"

Phoebe doesn't take it personally that he didn't say her name. She just takes off with them. Being a runner, younger than Rick, and longer-legged than Morty she easily takes the lead.

Rick continues hollering as they go. "I've never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here, Morty! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, Morty!"

"Not if I can help it!" Phoebe snapped. She withdrew one of her knives without breaking stride, turned on her heel, and took aim. She nailed the creature right in the eye—well, one of them, it had at least eight. Immediately disgusting black blood started pouring from the wound. The creature bellowed in rage and pain. It didn't stop charging, but she knew it must be harder for it to chase after them with a part of its field of vision gone.

"What the hell? Where the fuck did that come from?" Rick spat.

"You can throw knives?!" Morty squealed.

Taking time to aim and throw had allowed them to catch up with her, and they were running on either side of her now.

"Yes, and from my sleeve. I always carry weapons with me in case I need one."

"If I wasn't terrified of dying or mad at you for tagging along I would appreciate this more," Rick panted. "Still, I'm impressed with your aim."

"Thanks," Phoebe grinned grimly. "Unfortunately this would have worked better on a creature with three eyes or less." Wait… "Rick," she gasped suddenly, "That freezing device! Could you use it on the creature?"

"No, it requires contact," he said, "I'm not an idiot. If it worked I would have tried it already!"

"I don't think you're stupid I think we're all freaking the fuck out!"

Rick sneered. "Well before you ask, we can't use the portal gun. The creature is too close. It'll just follow us through."

"Well aren't we just on fuck mountain today," Phoebe glowered. "We are so boned."

Before Rick could snap back another reply to her, Morty tripped. "Fuck, Morty!"

Phoebe and Rick both ground to a halt. Rick withdrew the freezing device with grim determination. Phoebe withdrew her dagger from her boot. She leaped in front of Morty, barely conscious of Rick's movements. The creature's disgusting tongue wrapped around her waist and pulled her up. She started stabbing whatever she could reach, tongue, gums, inner cheek. Disgusting black blood squirted and spurted onto her clothes. Fuck. That was so not coming out. The creature reared and dropped her, scuttling backward. She kept lashing outward, not conscious of the hissing sound and low imitation growl she was making. "No one eats my nephew, especially a fuckface like you!"

Obviously deciding that they were more effort than they were worth, the monster fled. Phoebe kept threatening it until it was a good distance away. As soon as it was she instantly slumped in relief. "Oh sweet Jesus, oh fuck, oh Zeus' left testicles that was fucking terrifying."

She slowly turned around, half afraid Rick and Morty would be gone. Instead, she saw an awe-struck Morty and an appraising Rick scrutinizing her again, though this time he was very, very clearly impressed, and his sharp silver eyes held a tinge of respect.

"I'm not getting my other knife back," she said dumbly, mostly because she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Nope," Rick said. "I'll buy you another one." He stepped closer to her. "Are you—are you hurt, Phoebe?"

Phoebe blinked. This was the first time he'd ever used her name. "I don't think so." She looked down at herself. "I think it's only my clothes and not me." She looked up at him, then at Morty. "I hope you see this as proof of my love, Morty. This was my favorite shirt."

"Oh, ah, geez, Phoebe, I'm sorry, I—"

She reached out and ruffled his hair with her clean hand. "Don't sweat it, kid. Didn't you know? Saving you from being eaten by weird ass monsters is what aunts do."

Morty laughed nervously. "Yeah, I guess so."

Still grinning, she looked at Rick again and stuck out her clean hand. "Friends?"

He stared at her for several moments, then took her hand in his. "Close enough," he said evenly, "If by 'friend' you mean 'one of five people I don't hate', and let's be clear, I hate most people, then yes. 'Friend' is certainly shorter than 'my son-in-law's half-sister who saved mine and Morty's asses from a gory death by shanking a horrible monster from another dimension.'"

She wrinkled her nose. "Eh, I don't know, sounds catchy," she teased. "Heroic, even."

"You mean pretentious," he smirked.

Phoebe shrugged. "It's all the same." She gestured wide to indicate their surroundings. "What were you here to do? I missed the speech the first time."

So they started walking, and Rick explained again that it was Dimension 35-C, that it had the perfect climate conditions for a special type of tree that he called a Mega Tree, and that the seeds of the fruit were special. The so called Mega Seeds had special properties, and he needed some samples for his research.

"Oh, Morty, Phoebe, take a deep breath," he said after a while, "Breathe that—breathe that fresh air in, Morty and Phoebe. Y-you smell that? That's the smell of adventure. That's—that's the smell of-of-of-of a whole different evolutionary timeline."

"Fascinating," Phoebe said in wonderment, staring at a few odd eyeball-bat things as they flew by. "Organisms with completely different biochemistry from anything in our dimension. They could be made of different elements, they could use different organic compounds in their metabolic processes, they undoubtedly form unique biomes."

Her words seemed to please Rick, animate him. "Exactly, Phoebe, exactly." The more they talked, the more she thought he realized that she was perhaps the only person around him who could appreciate what he told them, really appreciate it.

Morty's quivering voice cut into their excited science babbling. "All right, Rick, look, how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now?"

"Probably," Phoebe was the one to respond, surprising them both, "but you almost died, so I think they'll understand. Plus, you're learning things, science things."

"Science isn't everything, Phoebe," Morty protested weakly, inadvertently offending both his aunt and his grandfather.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Phoebe yelped. "Science is everything. Everything you do is scientifically quantifiable, Morty: eating, sleeping, picking your nose—by the way, did you know that's good for you? It helps your immune system."

Rick had a rant of his own. "Phoebe's right, Morty. I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there." Another monster was nearby, though this one had far less sharp teeth. It was equally disgusting, enough. It looked like an inside-out used condom, green and drooping, with multiple limbs and lolling tongue. It dropped down to the ground, cooed, and rolled around. "What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing."

"I would love to dissect that in a lab," Phoebe breathed, her breath coming in short, excited bursts.

Morty seemed faintly horrified, while Rick seemed amused. "This is your wet dream, huh? You like weird shit?"

Phoebe glared at him. "You made my scientific inquiry sound like a kink thing."

Rick shrugged. "Is it?"

Morty covered his ears. "Rick, why! TMI!" he wailed. "I get it. We're surrounded by monsters and Phoebe wants to cut them open to see what color their insides are or something. The monsters are kind of the reason why I want to leave. We almost got eaten earlier!"

"Yeah, but the important thing is that we didn't, Morty."

"You might next time," Phoebe suggested, "if you don't bring me along from now on. You never know when you need someone on your team with stabby weapons."

They came to the edge of a cliff and stopped. "Are those the trees you're looking for, Rick?" Phoebe pointed.

"Way to take away my dramatic reveal, Phoebe," Rick grouched, though she could tell he wasn't really annoyed. "Yes, those are the Mega Trees. You see what we just stumbled upon, Morty? Mega Trees."

"I see that, Rick," Morty sighed.

"That's right, Morty the Mega Trees with the Mega Fruit on them, and that's what I'm talking about, Morty. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school."

Phoebe cleared her throat. "You wouldn't have ever found them if you were eviscerated by that beast and then slurped up like puppy chow, either."

"Yes, yes, you following us turned out to be a good thing and you want to tag along with us." He rolled his eyes. "I got your damn memo, woman."

Phoebe blew him a kiss using her middle finger.

"Um, Rick, are you two are done? What's so special about these seeds, anyways?"

Rick sneered. "You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an—" belch "—under—" belch "—underfoot figure."

Rick pulled out a pair of shoes and handed them to Morty, who immediately started shoving his feet into them with no questions asked. Phoebe looked at Rick she's and wondered what sort of adventures they'd had that made Morty trust him so implicitly. She cocked her head, listening intently and watching him gesture. "Just take these shoes, Morty. They're—" belch "—special grappling shoes. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together."

This time Rick was interrupted by Morty screaming rather than someone following him through a portal or a giant monster trying to make a Rick-skabob. Phoebe's head snapped to where Morty had been sitting earlier. Had he been abducted by some sort of flying creature? She never should have taken her eyes off of—the sick sound of flesh hitting the ground hard made her stomach lurch and stopped her thought in its tracks. She turned and pushed Rick. "I didn't keep you from turning into mincemeat so you could get Morty mortally injured a different way!"

"Calm your tits, Phee, it wasn't intentional! He didn't turn on the damn shoes!"

Morty's moans of pain could be heard from where they stood.

She held out her hands. "Well give me a pair, I'll go help him while you gather your seeds."

"I only have one more," Rick explained. "I didn't know you'd sneak along for the ride."

"Um, Rick, Phoebe," Morty half-sobbed-half-screamed, "could you MAYBE ARGUE LATER AND HELP ME!"

"Shit, fuck, he's right, of course he's right." Phoebe eyed Rick from head to toe.

"Is there a weight limit on the shoes?"

"What? No. That would be idiotic."

She nodded decisively. "Alright then. Here's the plan. Either you carry me on your back or I carry you on mine. One walks, one rides."

Rick sighed, taking out the shoes. "Since they actually fit me I'll wear them."

"Alright then," Phoebe conceded. He put them on, and surprisingly enough dropped down so she could climb onto his back. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders and neck, careful not to choke him. She settled her chin on his right shoulder.

"Ah, fuck you're bony," he complained instantly. "I'm being stabbed in five places."

"You did turn your shoes on?" she murmured by his ear, ignoring his comment. "If we all walk off a cliff and horribly cripple ourselves I'm not sure how we'll get home."

"Yeah," Rick snapped, "I know." She noticed he double-checked anyway before he took a confident step off of the cliff. The shoes worked just as he said they would, and they made it to the bottom uneventfully.

When they got to the bottom they were met with the alarming image of Morty lying on his back like a crushed bug with his legs, both clearly horribly broken in multiple places, sticking up and out at odd angles.

"Fuck us both, we are such assholes," Phoebe gasped. "We should have been watching him." She slid from his back, hand going to her mouth as she gazed in horror at Morty's crumpled body. They were both so fucked. How could they possibly take him home like that?

Rick had a similar look on his face—one of concern and horror. His hand went to his forehead. "Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work. Yeah, look I turned mine on. Me and Phoebe are fine, see, I had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze."

Phoebe nudged him in the side with her elbow. "Wow, Rick, fuck you. Knock it off, this is so not the time."

"Oh, god, Phoebe, Rick," Morty moaned miserably. "I'm in a lot of pain! Everything hurts."

"Yeah, uh, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?"

Phoebe elbowed him again. "Double fuck you! Can't you see he's in pain? Priorities!"

"Broken legs or not, I still need my seeds, Phee," Rick snapped.

"Screw your damn seeds if we can't do something to fix Morty. Can the seeds heal him?"

"N-no! What? No! They're not those kinds of seeds, Phoebe."

Morty exploded. "Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those damn seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something!"

"Okay, hold on just a second, Morty. I'll be right back," Rick said. He opened a portal and stepped through.

Phoebe dropped down to her knees beside Morty and took his hand. "Hey, hey, kid, Morty, focus on me, focus on the sound of my voice, hey." She smoothed his hair against his scalp and started singing a soft Mandarin lullaby.

"That's really nice, Phoebe," he panted. He was obviously still in immense pain but it took his mind off it for a moment. If Rick didn't come back soon she might just murder him a little. But only a little.