So this chapter was actually very hard to write. I've talked about Leila having that tattoo, but she has never really responded to it. I felt it needed addressed because it puts her in so much danger. She's fairly level headed so I do kind of think that she's have to be at a low point and I can see her responding the way she does in this chapter because of her lack of concern for her own well being.

Trigger warning for this chapter.

I do not own magi or the characters. I do own my oc.

Chapter 12: Burn

—Leila's POV—

One long month…

One long month since the village was attacked and my identity was uncovered. And here I am, practically crippled with anxiety.

Every day, it's impossible to not think about how much danger I'm putting everyone in. It's leaving me terrified since I still feel so helpless only now beginning to regain the range of motion in my shoulder. If the wrong person sees the tattoo, it's all over. Esra would be arrested and most likely killed. Sinbad would be sent to the battlefield. Vartan would be forced to run away.

There's no easy way to hide who I am though. Keeping the tattoo covered still draws attention. I wish it didn't exist, but I can't change it.

Letting out a shaky breath, I train my eyes on the fire I'm sitting in front of. The bright orange and red flames move and flow, the quiet crackling fills the silence. They are low and active and in some ways comforting. It makes me think of a home. A place that's warm and welcoming, very unlike the cold, damp and dark room I was forced to live in as a child. This small house is the opposite of that. It's a home.

That's a word I never believed I would get to think about. Deep down, I know that I'll probably never admit it though.

I don't want to lose that. But more importantly, I don't want to be the reason Sinbad and Esra lose it. There has to be something I could do to protect it. I need the tattoo to be gone.

Slowly, with shaking fingers, I undo the bandages by my wrist letting some of them hang lose as I look at it. I practically have the pattern memorized. My entire arm covered with line to for the circular flowers and their overlapping petals. To some people it's pretty or stunning, but it's hideous to me.

I turn back to the fire. Maybe…

Slowly I reach towards the flames, pulling my hand away as the lick my fingertips. As stupid as it sounds, the heat surprised me. I try again, my hand a bit higher so the flames are now even dusting my palm.

My hearts beating faster and faster. The idea of doing this is terrifying, but I'm scared of doing nothing too. I can't tell which thing I'm more scared of.

I move so that the edge of my wrist, just where the tattoo starts is above the flame. As strange as it sounds, it feels like the fire is getting warmer even though it still isn't quite touching my skin.

My heartbeat is starting to thunder in my ears. I've gotten hurt before but this is different. I'm doing this for the right reason…Yeah. I just need to flames to burn and scar my arm. Make the tattoo unrecognizable.

But I don't move.

I breath in and out slowly a few times before shutting my eyes. If I'm going to do this it has to be now, when no one is here and I still have the nerve.

Counting down silently, I move to lower my wrist. A firm grip quickly grabs my wrist, encircling it entirely. I tense up as they gentle place there other hand on my back. Feeling my heartbeat even out, I relax realizing it's Sinbad.

Blinking slightly as I open my eyes, but fix my gaze on our hands. His hand trembles slightly, but he doesn't waiver in the tight grip. It's almost painful. It's an odd sight, and floods my chest with guilt.

"Leila, what are you doing," he asks in a hushed tone. I don't answer. He doesn't push for an answer, but slowly pulls my hand closer to us. Sinbad makes each little motion carefully, making sure we don't get burned. "Leila…?"

"I just hate it," I reply as he lets go. I put my hands in my lap. I take a deep breath and rewrap my arm only to play with the edge of the bandage. "It scares me and I want to figure out how to get rid of it."

"You were…" I wait as he trails off. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. He looks stunned before running his hand thought his hair. His eyes hold shock and he looks hurt. "You were going to burn yourself."

I nod and look at my lap again.

"Could you really," he whispers. I stay silent as he softly rubs my back. "Leila, would you really hurt yourself like that?"

"I-I don't know." I tilt my head and look at him. I can feel my lip quivering as he frowns. "I really don't."

"Why," he asks. I don't really know what to say. "Please."

"I'm scarred," I whisper. He comes a little closer slowly. "What if someone sees it? It's still draws attention even when covered. If it couldn't be seen…"

"Don't think like that," he says quietly. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him, hiding my face in his shoulder. He hesitates, but hugs me back. "You can be afraid, but don't hurt yourself. Doing that won't help. Look at me." I pull away and sit up meeting his eyes. He offers me a small smile. "I'm on your side. I promise, but that means you need to talk to me. Can you promise that?"

I nod. I really need someone and in some ways I want Sinbad to be the person I can talk to.

"That's not a real promise," he replies with a smirk. I raise an eyebrow going to question him only stopping as he holds his pinky finger out to me.

—Sinbad's POV—

I watch Leila as she notices my hand. Holding my breath I watch her facial expression. Her neat eyebrows first furrowing in confusion before a slightly tired look forms. I'm about to admit defeat, but the corners of her lips twitch a little as a small smile forms.

"What are you," she teases weakly. "Five?"

"Six," I retort with a smile. "Well…?"

"Okay," she says reaching over and linking her finger with mine. "I promise."

"Good."

We fall silent. It's really uncomfortable and Leila seems to be a bit anxious again.

"Why did you come back," she asks softly. "I thought you and Esra weren't coming back for a while."

"Oh, yeah," I reply a bit awkwardly. "One of the outer village walls is about to fall over. Vartan is going to help me fix it but…shit." I quickly get up and go over to grab the supplies. "Vartan's going to be mad at me."

"Why…?"

"He's waiting for me to get what we needed," I say turning back towards Leila. She still looks heartbroken and sad. "Why don't you come with me? I'll bet he'd be happy to see you out and about."

She seems to shrink into herself a little. I know she's afraid, but this is worse than I thought.

"It's safe," I say crouching in front of her. She just looks at the ground as if it's the most interesting thing to ever exists. "I promised that I'd keep you safe. I mean it. It will be good for you."

"Yeah, but…"

I watch as she trails off. She glances back up at me before smirking slightly sheepishly. She holds her hand up. The same way I did just minutes ago.

"Promise…?"

I can't help but burst out laughing, watching as she tries to not giggle.

"Always." I loop my pinky finger with hers before pulling her up to stand. "Come on. Lets go before you uncle accuses me of doing something indecent."

"Has that…happened before?"

"No, well yes. I've been accused before, but I'm a good boy."

"You're so weird. I can't figure out why I like you."

"I'm just charming as hell."

"No. That isn't it."

She giggles quietly as I pout, but feel relieved. Her eyes seem a little brighter. Still sad, but brighter.