Julian went right back to the university after his flight landed. He pointedly avoided answering the messages from his mother that asked him to go back to the house and see them. He would make up some excuse soon, but for now, all he could think of as he got off the cab at the entrance to the campus was on seeing his friends again and resting.
He pulled out his luggage from the trunk and made his way into the campus. The buildings in the horizon rising before him as he walked, carrying his luggage with one hand, the other fidgeting with his phone on the pocket of his blazer. Would it be too forward to send a message to Sorrento? Would it be worse to not send a message and go look for him? Would it be better to ask Baian about Sorrento and then go meet up with him, pretending it was a coincidence? His thoughts rushed, one after the other in his mind, when he heard a soft melody through the trees of the park he walked through. He halted. The melody kept going. A soft, rhythmic tune that Sorrento used to play for him whenever he had trouble sleeping.
Before he could even think about it, he made his way towards where he could hear the music. He would recognize Sorrento's flute playing anywhere. After a couple moments of walking, he saw Sorrento sitting down on a picnic blanket next to a tree. Julian started jogging towards him, but slowed down when he noticed there was somIone else next to Sorrento. He kept walking, and noticed it was Kanon, lying down next to Sorrento while eating something. He didn't even seem that interested in the music, and noticed Julian first. He sat up and waved at him.
"Hey, Julian!" he called.
Julian steeled his expression to not show his annoyance at finding them together, and softened his features when Sorrento lowered his flute and smiled up at him.
"Julian!" he said. "You're back so soon?"
Julian sat down next to him on the blanket and set aside his luggage. "Yeah, I just had to fix some stuff for my dad."
Io and Baian came running and sat down next to them. They carried boxes of donuts with them.
"Hey, you're back! Good thing we brought extra," said Baian, sitting down next to them.
They were soon joined by Kasa and Tetis, and it soon started to feel even more like home to Julian.
They each made to leave a couple hours later, as the sun started to go down. Julian and Sorrento making their way towards their dorm.
"You must be tired," said Sorrento.
Julian shook his head, thinking of some excuse to keep Sorrento nearby. "Not to much. I just…still have to watch a movie to make a report for a class," he said. "Want to come help me with that? You're far more observant than me."
Sorrento smiled at Julian, and Julian clenched his fists to force himself not to react to the way his heart jumped at the sight of that easy going happiness in Sorrento's face.
"Sure," said Sorrento, moving to walk closer beside him as they entered the dorm building. They made their way towards Julian's room, which was a couple floors under Sorrento's.
Julian threw his luggage in a corner and turned on the tv, while Sorrento laughed, shaking his head at Julian.
"Shouldn't you at least put it away?" he asked, a slight smile pulling at the corner of his lips in a way that made him look playful yet terribly cute in Julian's eyes. Julian reached out towards Sorrento's face, wanting to touch those soft lips, when he realized what he was doing, he shifted his hold and pushed a stray lock of Sorrento's hair behind his ear.
"This is more important," he said, then moved to lie on the bed and motioned for Sorrento to join him.
Sorrento laughed again, his voice still with that melodic quality that so enticed Julian. Sorrento turned off the lights, and settled next to Julian.
He fell asleep first, and Julian took his chance to pull him closer. To feel his warmth against him, and listen to his breathing until sleep overtook him too.
The high pitched ringing of his phone woke up Sorrento. He looked around, suddenly unsure of where he was, until he noticed he was in Julian's dorm room, and he felt his face turn red.
He reached for his phone and answered without even looking at who it was. He looked around for his shoes, wondering where Julian was.
"Where are you?" demanded Kanon on the phone.
The lights went on in Sorrento's head and he remembered he had agreed to meet up with Kanon for breakfast today. He looked at the sleek black clock on the wall and saw it was already ten.
"Shit. Sorry Kanon, I'm so sorry. I…I went to bed really late yesterday," he said, when suddenly Julian came into the room, fresh from a shower and wearing only a towel around his hips. Sorrento decided he was the most blessed and most cursed man on the planet. He gave a trembling smile and turned to look away and stop himself from staring too much at the way Julian's muscles looked in the morning light. "Uhmm, can I…still catch you? I'm-"
"Yeah, I'll wait for you. I'm still at the cafeteria," said Kanon, a bit of annoyance still in his voice.
"Sure, I'll be there," said Sorrento. He hung up and finally located his shoes under the bed.
"Kanon?" asked Julian behind him.
"Yeah, I was supposed to see him today," said Sorrento, putting on his shoes in the floor just to avoid turning around and risking seeing something that would make his face even redder. But even just listening to Julian moving around the room, the sound of the clothes as he put them on, it was all messing with his head already. Just when he reached out to touch Sorrento's hair the night before, Sorrento had felt like he couldn't have dropped down dead from love. As if his heart couldn't hold all the emotions that being near Julian brought him.
When Sorrento heard the spritz of his cologne and smelled the scent, deep, reminiscent of humid forests and pines; he knew it was time to escape or he would not be able to control himself.
He jumped to his feet, and turned around. "Sorry for falling asleep," he said, smiling at Julian.
Julian gave him a nonchalant smile as he buttoned his white shirt. "Don't mind it," he said. "Are you going to see Kanon?"
"Kanon?" asked Sorrento, who had completely forgotten what he was doing. "Oh. Yes! Yes, he wants to tell me something. He always wants to gossip about this or that. He's the same as Baian. Anyway, sorry I can't stay."
And with that, he went out of the room and out of the dorm building. He took a deep breath of the cold morning air when he went out, hoping it would stop the flush of his cheeks.
He jogged halfway to the cafeteria and found Kanon sitting at the furthest table in the corner. He looked out into the distance, as if lost in thought.
"You seem so serious today," said Sorrento, taking a seat across from him. "What is it that you wanted to tell me. I already know everything about Io and Baian, so it better not be that."
Kanon jolted at his voice. "Oh, hey," he said, sitting up straight towards him. He fidgeted with his half finished coffee mug. "Hmmm, about that…"
Kanon trailed off, and Sorrento used that moment to lean over the table and steal a piece of the untouched carrot cake Kanon had on the table.
"Mhm?" wondered Sorrento.
"Well, it's something I had been wanting to tell you- Uhm, rather, to ask you- for a long while. I guess, a bit long? Err…"
Sorrento lifted an eyebrow at him. It wasn't like Kanon to be so serious and yet run laps around what he meant to say like this, but Sorrento wasn't sure if he should say anything. He started wondering if something bad might have happened to him, with how nervous he seemed. He took another bite of the cake.
"I…I wanted to tell you that I like you," said Kanon. Sorrento froze in place. "As in…I'm in love with you…"
Sorrento sat back up straight in his chair, away from Kanon.
"You- you like me?"
"Do you think…you could give me a chance?" asked Kanon, looking down. He looked so strange like that to Sorrento. Kanon wasn't the kind to act like that. His movements unsure, his voice low and softer than his usual demanding tone. Sorrento thought back to the way that he had felt last night, when Julian had smiled at him and reached out to comb his hair, the tips of his fingers tracing a soft line over Sorrento's skin. He had wanted to reach out too. He had wanted to say the same words that Kanon was saying to him now. But he had known that rejection at that moment would have been too much. And he had held his confession close to his heart.
But now…now he would have to inflict that same pain on Kanon, and it felt too cruel a thing to do to him. He lowered his eyes, pondering his words.
"Kanon, that…It's a surprise to me," he said, softly. "I never knew you felt like that about me. I suppose, I always…saw you as a friend."
Kanon slumped down on his chair. "I see."
Sorrento flinched when he saw the expression of defeat in Kanon's face. "I mean…I really don't think we would even work out as a couple. It's just…I've never even thought about it."
"And you couldn't even give me a chance?" asked Kanon. His eyes seemed brighter with hope and Sorrento recognized that look. He had seen it so many times in his own eyes when he thought about Julian.
"Kanon, I…I'm sorry. But I just…You see, there's somIone," he started, and had to swallow around the knot on his throat. He had never said it aloud and he felt like he was accepting something for which he wasn't ready. "I'm in love with somIone already."
"What? Really? Who is it?"
Sorrento felt his face flush red yet again. "Wha- I'm not telling! It's a secret! And you're the worst at gossip."
Kanon huffed, leaning back into his chair. "Fine. So there's somIone you're crushing on. But could we at least, go on a date? One single date, I won't ask for more!"
Sorrento sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine. Just one date and no more. But I'm warning you-"
"I know! I know!" said Kanon, back to his energetic self.
Sorrento felt a weight lift from his chest, but he didn't know if it was because Kanon wasn't looking so sad anymore, or if it was because he had finally said out loud that he was in love. Somehow, it made it all feel more real.
Neither of them noticed Baian sitting in another able, overhearing the whole conversation.
Baian, of course, went running to find Io at the library and tell him all about it. He found him putting away some books on the history section.
"Io!" he called.
"Shhh, where do you think you are?" complained Io, turning away from him to put away another of the books in his hands.
"You've got to hear this, it's about Kanon and Sorrento!"
"Lower your voice, you gossiping horse maniac!" hissed Io, then motioned for them to move to a more deserted corner of the library. "Fine, since you'll absolutely die if you don't tell me-"
"Kanon is in love with Sorrento and they're gonna have a date!" said Baian, almost jumping in excitement.
"Oh, god no. That sounds like a disaster," complained Io, hitting his forehead with one of the books he carried.
"I know! We have to go and spy them!"
"What?! No! That's too much, even for your gossip obsessed ass. What if they catch us?"
"We'll pretend that we're on a date too!"
Io rolled his eyes. "No," he said, and slapped Baian over the head with one of the books. Then he thrusted the books into Baian's hands. "I am not having a fake date with you just so that you can gossip on pIople who shouldn't even be dating each other in the first place! Not now, and not ever."
He left, leaving behind Baian carrying all his whole pile of books.
"Aw, Io!" whined Baian, and looked around for a table to leave the books. He found one nearby and left them there, then turned around to go look for Io.
He ran into Julian and stumbled back. "Ah! J-Julian, hey!" he said, taking a couple steps backwards. Julian followed. Baian kept retreating, until he felt a wall at his back. He swallowed and looked up at Julian's eyes. He smiled, but Baian could see carefully controlled rage shining in his eyes. He knew that look. He knew it meant murder. Pieces very quickly started falling into place in Baian's head. The smiles Sorrento and Julian gave each other. The way they always seemed to end up hanging out alone. The pure rage emanating from Julian now…
"So," finally said Julian. "Sorrento and Kanon are having a date?"
"Uhmmm, I think…I actually didn't hear very well…," mumbled Baian.
"That's so sad," said Julian, smirking in a way that showed one of his fangs and that made alarms start ringing in Baian's head. "But you know, you really need no excuse to spy on them. And if they catch you, you can just say that I sent you out to buy some things for me."
"A-actually, maybe I shouldn't-," started Baian.
Julian grabbed his shoulder with an iron grip that made him flinch. "Oh, don't worry. I won't judge you. It's really just simple curiosity, right?"
"Ahh…Haha, yeah. Uhm, just…curiosity…"
"Good. Let me know how it goes for them. I always worry about all my friends," said Julian, finally letting go of him and turning to leave.
Baian slumped against the wall, realizing that curiosity was going to kill the proverbial horse this time…
In the end, Kanon and Sorrento agreed to go watch a movie and have ice cream together. Nothing too out of the ordinary for them, but Sorrento felt a strange weight settle on his shoulders while he waited for Kanon to arrive. Somehow, it didn't feel as natural going out with Kanon usually felt, but he couldn't explain exactly why.
Kanon touched him on the shoulder, making Sorrento jump. "Oy, you're all nervous today. Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you," laughed Kanon, winking at him. "Or maybe I will. Just a bit."
Sorrento punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't start," he said, and huffed.
"Fine, fine, let's go get our popcorn," said Kanon with his usual sharp smile, moving towards the entrance to the movies.
Sorrento followed. Behind him, just out of sight, followed Baian
The movie went well. Focusing on it, Sorrento could almost forget that this wasn't a date, but just another one of their outings as friends. Kanon was as funny as he usually was, and Sorrento relaxed after a while.
But as soon as the lights turned on and they stood up, Sorrento remembered the position he was in, and he felt himself tensing as he followed after Kanon out of the movie theater.
Baian followed closely after.
They went for ice cream afterwards. To the usual place that they passed by now and then, where the girls let Kanon have more toppings on his ice cream if he smiled at them. It all seemed so normal to Sorrento that he couldn't place where his discomfort came from.
"You know," said Kanon, when they sat down under one of the trees in the campus. He scooted closer to Sorrento. "This feels kinda weird somehow"
Sorrento laughed around the spoonful of ice cream he had in his mouth.
"You feel it too?" asked Kanon when Sorrento couldn't answer.
Sorrento nodded. "It does feel kinda…strange…," he said, stabbing at his ice cream with his spoon.
"I don't know. I guess I might have been wrong about us," said Kanon. "But! There is a way to find out."
Before Sorrento could reach, he had leaned over and stolen and fleeting kiss from Sorrento's lips.
Sorrento pushed him away. "W-what are you doing?! We're in public!" cried Sorrento.
Kanon laughed. "Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to be sure that…we really were not meant to be," said Kanon, his voice lowering.
Sorrento sighed. "We're not."
Staring at them from afar, Baian really wished he would drop dead right at that instant.
That might be less painful than what Julian might do to him when he found out about this.
Baian decided to just leave after that. He really had no more stomach to endure thinking about what Julian would be feeling. He dragged his feet all the way back to the campus area where his dorm was. He looked up, and saw Julian from afar, standing near the entrance. Baian felt dread creep up on him and decided to bail on it
He ran away. Before he could realize where he was going, he found himself running through the door of Io's dorm building. He ran up the three floors and knocked on the door desperately.
"Io! Io open the door!" he yelled.
Io opened the door, furious. "What the fuck do you want Baian?" he asked. Baian let himself into the room and closed the door behind him. "Have you gone insane? What is wrong with you?!"
Baian paced around the room. "Julian likes Sorrento," he said, feeling like he was going to start hyperventilating at any moment.
"What?! Seriously?"
"That day in the library. He actually sent me to spy on Kanon and Sorrento. So I did."
"Oh, no."
"And I saw them kissing."
"Oooh, noooo," said Io covering his face. He couldn't believe things were going so wrong, so fast. "Julian is going to be-"
SomIone banged on the door. "Io, open the door!" ordered Julian from the other side.
"What is he doing here?!" hissed Baian, for once in his life lowering his voice.
Io pushed him into the closet and closed it, then pushed back his hair and took a deep breath. He had never been able to lie to Julian's face, but this was the moment to really go for it. He opened the door.
"Hey, Julian, is there a problem?" he asked.
"Where is Baian?" demanded Julian. Io swallowed when he saw the anger contained in his eyes.
"Uhm, I don't…know…," said Io.
Julian grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him out of the room into the hallway, making him trip and fall on the floor. Then he entered the room and locked the door behind him. Io banged on the door but Julian paid him no mind. If there was anywhere Baian was going to hide from him, it would have to be with Io. He pulled off the covers from the bed, looked under the desk, then finally opened the closet door and found him cowering there.
"H-Hey, Julian," said Baian.
Julian gave him a cruel smile and dragged him out, throwing him into the bed.
"You're avoiding me so much," said Julian, his voice as calm as the eye of a storm. "I wonder what you saw."
"Nothing! N-Nothing really. You know, they always go to a lot of places together, movies, ice cream, nothing more…"
Julian glared down at him, demanding he truth with silence only.
Baian finally gave up. "They…they kissed…," he said, looking away.
Julian clenched his hands into fists. "So, it was true…," he said in a low whisper, then turned to leave.
Baian reached out to hold his sleeve. "Julian, that probably won't last, you know how Kanon-"
Julian shook him off, and left.
Julian saw Sorrento the next day as he came in to a class. He would usually sit down next to him, but he couldn't stand to be near him anymore. To be so close to him and keep wondering what he might have felt when he kissed Kanon.
He looked around and saw Thetis sitting in the back. He went to sit down next to her.
"Hey, Julian," said Thetis with a slight tremble to her voice. By now the entire group of friends knew what had happened with the triangle of Kanon, Sorrento and Julian, which made it all feel like sitting down at a party in a house that was burning down.
Julian grunted in response, and spent the rest of the class focusing on not looking at Sorrento.
Sorrento tried to go speak to Julian after class, but when he turned around to look for him, he had already vanished.
"Hey Thetis," he said. "Did something happen to Julian? He seemed to serious today."
Thetis stood up. "Uhm, no idea. He didn't say anything," she said, quickly scrambling to put all her things into her bag and leave.
"Did something happen to her too?" wondered aloud Sorrento.
He walked out of class, wondering what might be the matter with Julian. He had seemed fine when he had come back the other day. Perhaps he might be annoyed at how quickly Sorrento had left that morning?
SomIone draped their arm around Sorrento and he snapped out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Kanon.
"Hey, you'll get more kisses stolen if you don't start paying attention," he said, pulling Sorrento to the side to make him avoid walking into a tree.
Sorrento realized how close their faces were and he couldn't help remembering the kiss from the other day. He pushed Kanon away. "What are you saying?" he said, feeling his face blushing.
Kanon laughed. "I save you from smashing your face in and you treat me like this? How ungrateful," he said jokingly. "Come, let's go get lunch!"
From the window of the second floor, Julian saw this all, gritting his teeth at the closeness they had. At the easy way with which Kanon touched Sorrento. At all the things Kanon had with him that in Julian's heart he felt should have been his. Julian wondered if things might have ended up differently if he had taken the first step before Kanon had.
Would things have turned out different, if he'd have whispered his love that night when he'd held him so close? When he'd enjoyed the warmth of his body and the soft scent drifting from his hair? Would anything have been different then?
"Julian?" said a soft voice behind him. Julian jolted and turned. Saori Kido stood a couple steps behind him. "Would you have a moment?"
Julian nodded. "Yes, I suppose I do…," he said.
They walked out of the building in silence. "It's been a while," she said as they walked towards one of the stone benches in the park.
Julian nodded. It had indeed been a long while since he'd met up with Saori Kido. A little more than a year, probably. There had been a time when they saw each other at every party that his parents took him to. Every celebration or even where his presence was required somehow managed to include Saori Kido. Too late he realized that had not been a coincidence at all. After all, a marriage between them would have been very convenient to both families. No surprise that their parents had looked favorably upon the fact that they might fall in love with each other after so many meetings.
Too bad it had never happened.
"I heard the latest negotiation over the acquisition of our Japan branch got a little…tense," she said.
Julian was confused for a moment, until he remembered that he'd been the one directing the negotiations during his last trip. He had been thinking so much about Sorrento that he had completely forgotten about that.
"Ah, that. Perhaps I was a bit forceful, but with the current market situation, I'm sure you can understand my position."
"I know. But perhaps we could talk it over in a little more relaxed manner?" said Saori, smiling at him.
Julian, going back to his character of educated gentleman, kindly invited her out to eat to a place where they could speak about those matters in a more private way.
Sorrento made his way on his bike towards the cafeteria where he was going to meet with the others. He was already late and knew they were going to nag at him about how he was late everywhere nowadays. But he couldn't help it. Julian had ignored his messages for days now and it was all he could think about. He kept going over all their interactions in his head and couldn't find any reason for such a change in attitude and it was driving him insane.
He thought about just going to look for Julian at his dorm room. Technically every night there were only two stories away from each other, but he had never felt so far from him and it was gnawing at him to realize it.
He was so distracted that he almost hit against the open door of a car parked on the street. He braked barely on time, and had to lean on his side so low that he scrapped his knee against the pavement.
"Sorry! Sorry! I was distracted," said Sorrento, trying to disentangle from his bike.
SomIone grabbed him from above and helped him get up.
"Be careful," said Julian's voice, and Sorrento looked up. Julian pulled him up on his feet, frowning as he looked at him. "Are you hurt?"
"Uhm, I…No, I'm fine," said Sorrento.
Julian looked him up and down to make sure he was fine. "Really? Does anything hurt?"
"Julian? What happened?" said a woman's voice from inside the car, and Saori Kido came out.
Sorrento put together the car, the restaurant, the two being together, and felt his stomach turn. Saori Kido…Julian was dating Saori Kido, the girl he was always seen with at every damn rich pIople event he went to…
Sorrento grabbed his beaten bike from the ground and moved away from Julian.
"I'm- I'm fine. I'm fine!" said Sorrento, struggling to get back on the bike. "Bye! Have fun!" he said, and sped away from them, but soon he had to stop and hide in an alley, when his eyes filled with tears and he couldn't see the way anymore. He couldn't see. He couldn't think.
He fell against the wall, then crumbled down on the ground and cried.
Julian saw him leave and gritted his teeth. So not only did Sorrento not care about him, but wherever he was going was more important than spending a single minute longer with him. He felt anger bubbling up in his chest.
"Was he ok?" asked Saori, getting back in Julian's car.
"He seemed fine," muttered Julian, closing the door for her, then going to the driver's side.
"Wasn't he one of your friends?" asked Saori while Julian put on his seat belt.
"Hmph. We were," he grunted, and turned on the car.
He didn't want to think about to Sorrento anymore, but at the same time, all he could think about was Sorrento and the way he pulled away from his arms.
He felt he had finally lost him for good this time.
Julian regretted going out for lunch with his mom when she wiped out a newspaper and said "I'm so happy you started dating Saori Kido."
Julian choked on his coffee. "W-what?" he asked, and grabbed at the newspaper. He was used to appearing in them, and they had invented him all kinds of girlfriends throughout the years. But this time the lie felt too close to him.
He stared at the picture of him helping Saori out of his car when they had gone out for dinner one night. The picture was taken from his back, so he couldn't see his own expression, but the touch of the hand as he helped Saori. The way she leaned on him. It was all the picture of refined actions of love. He thought about how he had simply been following routine rules of etiquette. "Open the door for a lady and help her our of the car", the same as usual. And then thought about how half of the dinner was spent tailoring the details of the last deal he had worked out for his dad as they bought a part of Saori's company.
But if he only looked at the picture. If he knew nothing of his own heart, he could almost believe they were just a young couple in love.
"We're not dating," said Julian, giving back the newspaper to his mom. "We just went out a few times. To dinner and stuff."
"Oh, don't be silly. Look at her eyes. Of course she's in love with you. And besides, who would say no to you?" his mom said. "And if there's somIone I would like for you to marry it would be her."
Julian tapped at his coffee cup. Marrying Saori would be for the best in any way, that was true. His father had given every hint he would love that. His mother had just said it to his face. Their family companies would stop competing and fighting and merge instead. Life itself would become much easier than it was.
How many times had he agonized about telling his parents that he was in love with Sorrento? How many days and nights had he fantasized over what would happen once he would confess his feelings to Sorrento? And now, all of that didn't matter. It didn't matter at all. Sorrento's heart didn't belong to him. It had never belonged to him in the first place. All those nights spent next to him. All those days listening to him play music for him. It was all for nothing.
Now, he could think pragmatically about what marrying somIone would entail.
"I think…I would like to marry her too," he said.
After all, what was the point of marrying somIone anymore? What else could he do with his heart now?
It had taken quite a bit of pleading from all his friends for Sorrento to finally emerge from his room after days of being holed in and refusing to see the light of the outside world. But Sorrento had finally agreed to go have lunch with them at the terrace cafeteria in campus that he liked so much. He thought that it would cheer him up, but as he sat near the edge of the terrace, overlooking the gardens of the campus, he realized that the main reason why he loved that place so much was because that had been the place where he had met Julian for the first time.
Back then, Julia had seemed even more dashing than usual. Leaning against the railing, with the summer sun making his skin glow…It had seemed like the start of a dream to Sorrento. Who would have thought that it had been nothing more than the start of a nightmare.
"Hey, snap out of it," said Kanon, punching Sorrento lightly on the shoulder.
"Don't want to…," said Sorrento, letting his head fall back over the back of the chair, closing his eyes.
"This was supposed to cheer you up," said Io
"I was hoping for that too," said Sorrento.
Suddenly, he heard the murmurs around them rising and opened his eyes. People were approaching the railing of the terrace.
"Is something happening?" he asked.
Kanon, Io and Baian stared at each other for a moment. "No," the three said at once.
Sorrento frowned and stood up, looking in the same direction that the others. More and more people kept coming, crowding around the railing. Kanon grabbed at his arm.
"Come back here, it's nothing," he said.
Sorrento looked into his eyes and knew he was lying. He shook him off and went to see.
On the park below, he saw Julian and Saori walking next to each other. Suddenly, Julian reached out to grab Saori and pull her closer, facing him.
Kanon grabbed his shoulders. "Sorrento…this…Don't watch this," he said, trying to pull him away.
Below them Julian took a quick look at the crowd observing from the windows and the terrace. Sorrento felt his breath catch in his throat. Somehow, he felt as if Julian was staring straight at him. But how could that be? They were four stories high. And yet, he felt once more as if Julian had eyes only for him.
But as quickly as he had looked up, his eyes turned back to Saori, and he pulled something from the inner pocket of his jacket.
Then he went down on one knee.
Sorrento gave a choked scream and pushed away from the railing, his eyes filling with tears. Kanon pulled him away through the crowd, and helped him get to his dorm room.
On the park below, Saori took a step backwards, away from Julian.
"Oh, Julian," she said with a sigh, then she moved closer and crouched down to whisper to him. "Why are you doing this? When we both know your heart belongs to another?"
"My heart is no use now. If anyone may have it, it should be you," said Julian.
Saori reached out to cup her hands over Julian's and close the box for the engagement ring.
"Don't give up hope. I promise, everything will be alright. But if I took you…No, I will not cage your heart and see it die in my hands."
"Saori…"
She smiled at him. "When you get your heart's desire, please tell me. Although, I have idea who it might be."
Julian stood up, shaking his head.
How useless was his heart, that nobody would take it now?
Kanon half helped, half dragged Sorrento back to his room, then set him down to sit on the bed and sat down next to him.
"You knew," whispered Sorrento, staring off into the distance while tears fell freely from his eyes.
"There were rumors. But…there are always rumors around Julian…," said Kanon, reaching to hold Sorrento's hand.
Sorrento flinched away from him. "I want to be alone," he growled. Fury started growing in his chest.
How could Julian just propose to Saori? How long had they been dating? A month? Obviously you can't propose to someone after dating them for a month. So, had they been dating during all that time when they had been photographed on event after event? Had they been seeing each other in secret? A love secret that Julian had kept even from him?
"When you calm down, I'll leave you but now-" started Kanon.
"Calm down?! How can I calm down Kanon?!" yelled Sorrento, standing up. "He was in love with her! All the time! He was in love with her!"
He paced around the small room, getting more agitated with every moment. "They're getting married! I'm an idiot! I'm an idiot for ever thinking- For ever hoping!"
He grabbed the music stand that Julian had gifted him for his birthday and threw it against the wall. His silent tears became sobs of anger, of despair. Everything reminded him of Julian. The stand, the flute that he used to play for him, the many small gifts, the things they shared together. He hated them all. Sorrento grabbed his flute and threw it out the window. Kanon stood up and tried to hold him.
"Sorrento, don't-"
"DON'T TOUCH ME! I WANT TO BE ALONE!" yelled Sorrento, and slammed all the things on his desk down on the floor. A glass crashed and the shards fell on Sorrento's hands, leaving a big gash.
"Stop! You're going to hurt yourself!" yelled Kanon, holding his arms.
"DON'T TOUCH ME! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"
"Well, I do!" yelled Kanon, and pulled him away from the desk, trying to push him somewhere he wouldn't hurt himself. "And I won't let you do this to yourself."
"I HATE YOU!" yelled Sorrento, trying to fight him off and break free, but Kanon was much stronger than him.
"Yeah, yeah, as much as you hate Julian, right?" said Kanon, pushing him down on the bed, hoping to keep him from hurting himself for long enough to calm down.
"YES! I HATE YOU BOTH!" yelled Sorrento, out of his mind, struggling against Kanon as he pushed him down on the bed. "LET ME GO! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
The door opened and Julian rushed inside. The three froze for a second, looking at each other, until Julian roared and pulled Kanon away from Sorrento.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM?!" he growled, pulling at him and throwing him down on the floor.
"I wasn't doing anything!" yelled Kanon, lifting his arms to protect himself, but Julian was faster and punched him in the face.
Sorrento jumped up from the bed. "Stop! What are you doing?!" he cried, trying to pull Julian away from Kanon.
"I'm going to kill him! How dare he hurt you?!" roared Julian, slamming Kanon against the floor again.
"He wasn't hurting me!" yelled Sorrento, and kept pulling on Julian's arm. Julian looked at him and noticed the blood flowing from Sorrento's hands. He let go of Kanon and reached for Sorrento.
"You're bleeding! What did he do to you?!" asked Julian. Sorrento had never seen him look so lost, so scared.
"Nothing! He didn't do anything to me!"
"You don't have to protect him. I'll kill him! I'll make sure he can never hurt you again!" said Julian.
Sorrento realized that there was no reasoning with him and he looked past Julian's shoulder at Kanon. "Run! Run or he'll hurt you!" he told him.
Kanon huffed. "Fine, you go crazy yourselves," he said, and scampered off, running out of the dorm building.
"You need a doctor," said Julian, wiping at Sorrento's hands with the sleeve of his white jacket.
Sorrento tried to pull his hands away from Julian. "No, I'm fine."
Julian held him again. "Sorrento you're bleeding!"
"I'm fine! I just want to be alone!" yelled Sorrento. The more he looked at Julian's concerned expression, the more he felt the touch of his hands over his skin, the more he wanted to scream. He moved away from him and the back of his legs hit the bed, making him sit down on it. Julian followed him.
"You can't be serious. Sorrento, your hands are bleeding!" tried to reason Julian, closing in on him, surrounding Sorrento's shoulders with his arm.
Sorrento felt a shiver go down his back as the scent of Julian's cologne hit his nose. The same fresh, masculine scent he'd smelled on him the last time they had fallen asleep together. His eyes filled with tears again.
"Go away! Please, go away!" he begged.
Julian froze for a second, wondering what to do, until he steeled his resolve, and pulled up Sorrento to carry him in his arms.
"What are you doing?!" cried Sorrento, instinctively holding on to Julian's neck.
"I'm taking you to the nurse to take care of your hands," said Julian, walking out of the room with Sorrento in his arms. "And then you can tell me what is it that Kanon has been doing to you."
The nurse cleaned and cured the cuts on Sorrento's hands. He needed stitches for the gash on his left hand, but the right one only needed to be bandaged.
"What on earth happened to you, boy?" she asked, putting away the equipment after finishing bandaging Sorrento's hands.
"I pushed some stuff off my desk and a glass broke," said Sorrento with a deep sigh. He felt so stupid about his outburst now. And Kanon who had tried so hard to help him had gained nothing out of it but a punch to the face.
"You should be more careful with your things, boy," said the nurse, and walked out of the room to put the things away.
Sorrento's phone rang, and he saw it was Kanon. He picked up the call. "Kanon, are you ok?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. What about your hands?" asked Kanon
"They're-," started Sorrento, but Julian grabbed the phone out of his hands.
"I'm going to find you and kill you slowly," said Julian into the phone.
Kanon hung up.
"Coward," muttered Julian.
"Why did you do that?! I told you, he didn't do anything to me," said Sorrento.
Julian sat down next to him. "Don't defend him! I can't stand him. I can't believe you're dating someone who treats you like this," he said, clenching his hands into fists.
"What? But Kanon and I are not dating," said Sorrento
Julian turned to stare at him. "You are…not dating?" he asked.
Sorrento scoffed and shook his head. "Of course not," he said. "God, I could never date him. It's just so awkward. We had a date once and it was so awful we agreed it would never work."
The nurse came back with the papers for Sorrento's medical leave. Sorrento stood up to grab them and thanked her profusely. Then he turned towards Julian and found him frozen where he sat, staring off into the distance.
"Julian? Are you ok?" asked Sorrento, touching his shoulder.
Julian fainted.
When Julian came to his senses, he was lying on the bed in the nurse's office. He stared at the ceiling bathed by the light of the setting sun, confused as of where he was for a moment. Someone next to him held on to his arm.
"You're awake," came Sorrento's melodic voice. "How are you feeling?"
Julian turned to look at him and it felt as if he was really seeing him for the first time. There were still tears drying in his cheeks. His hair mussed and sticking up, looking down at him with scared eyes. Julian took a deep breath, and in his heart he wished for Sorrento to never look at anyone else like that.
"Julian? Can you hear me?" asked Sorrento, concern making his voice tremble. "Do you want me to call Saori?"
Julian shook his head. Then he reached out and pulled Sorrento closer by his waist, forcing him down on the bed next to him.
"J-Julian, the nurse will come back any moment. What would she think-?" whispered Sorrento, trying to pull away. A blush colored his cheeks and he looked even more adorable and enticing than ever. Julian realized that his heart seemed to fall in love with him yet again every time he saw him.
"I don't care. I love you," said Julian, pulling him closer, flush against him and kissing his teary cheeks.
Sorrento gasped, pushing him away. "Stop! Are you insane?! You just got engaged!" he said.
Julian nuzzled his hair, loving the sweet scent of it. "I didn't. Saori was much smarter than me and rejected me. She knew my heart already belonged to another and would always do so. I feel so stupid, mourning a love that I thought would never be."
"W-what?"
"I thought Kanon had stolen you and it nearly drove me mad. But now…I'm never letting you go."
Sorrento relaxed against him, processing everything that Julian had just said. "So you thought…Kanon and I…? Was that why you were avoiding me? Because you thought I was dating Kanon?!"
Julian nodded, wrapping both arms around Sorrento's hip. "I couldn't stand it. The thought that I'd lost you haunted me day and night."
Sorrento's vision blurred and he felt tears running down his cheeks again. "You idiot! You fucking idiot! I thought you were avoiding me because of Saori!" he said, burying his head against Julian's chest.
"Yes. I was an idiot. I was an absolute idiot," agreed Julian, patting Sorrento's back. "But I need to know now. Do you love me?"
Sorrento punched his chest lightly. He felt angry and confused and relieved. As if a great weight had lifted from him and now he didn't know what to do or even who he was.
"Yes! I love you!"