The Shoveler looks through the window of Tony Stark's Malibu home from his lawn. He sees Steve Rodgers, Tony Stark, and Bruce Banner all laughing, each of them holding a bud light. The Shoveler takes out his phone and makes a call. "Roy. It's me. They're all here, they're still up. It looks like they're drunk too….are you coming?... How soon? Okay I'll be waiting by." After about 15 minutes of waiting outside, The Shoveler hears a rustling in the bushes behind him. Out of the bushes comes Roy (aka Mr. Furious) doing a heavily exaggerated somersault and Jeff (aka The Blue Raja) walking elegantly. "Bout time you guys showed up, so what's the plan?"
"Alright, I guess we could knock. Things have worked out so far. I mean you landed the contracting gig, got access to the compound, let's ride this luck out. We'll knock on the door. Tell them that we aren't slouches at fighting justice either and that we want in on the team." The Blue Raja jumps back in fear. "What's the problem?"
"Look." The Blue Raja points towards the window and Tony Stark is peering through it, directly at the Mystery Men.
"Shit! Hide!" Mr. Furious exclaims. The trio jumps behind the same bush. They clench each other nervously as they wait to see if they've evaded Tony Stark's glare. They hear footsteps approaching quickly, getting closer and closer until there are no more footsteps. They look up at Tony Stark.
"Listen, I don't know if you watch the news, but I'm coming off a hell of a week, so maybe you could just tell me what the hell you're doing watching us drink from my lawn?" The Blue Raja jumps in excitement.
"Hello Mr. Iron Man. Pleasure it is to make your acquittance. I am the Blue Raja, master of cutlery, and this right here is –
"I'm sorry. You'll forgive me, I'm a little buzzed. Did you just say master of cutlery?"
"Why yes I did Mr. Iron. Specialize in forks. Not those pesky knives, awful little bits they are." Tony has a look of complete shock
"What is going on right now?" The Shoveler then stands up from his crouch.
"Pleasure Mr. Stark. I'm the Shoveler. I shovel hard and I shovel well." Tony looks even more confused than he was a second ago.
"Alright how about you guys come in and explain all of this, maybe that will help. I've officially deemed you not a threat. Except for you maybe," Tony says while pointing to Mr. Furious. "You seem angry." Tony leads the Mystery Men to his front door and walks them in the house. "Well fellas, meet Captain America, and you wouldn't believe it, but that unassuming gentleman right there is that big green monster who, you know, smashes things."
"Of course, we know all your names. Big fans. Big fans indeed. Cheerio. And I must give my dearest congratulations on defeating that truculent Loki. He seemed like a real rubble rouser."
"I'm sorry, what are your guys names?" Captain America asked after taking a slug of his beer.
"Let me field that for you Cap. This right here is the Blue Raja. Master of…master of…I'm sorry what was it?"
"Master of cutlery, yes very good. You can forkget my name all you like, I will forkgive you." The Blue Raja chuckles alone. There is an awkward pause.
"Yep that's what it was."
"I'm sorry Mr. Raja is it?" Banner asked. "Your name is the Blue Raja yet you have no blue on your costume. Also...are you affecting a British accent?, And the turban… I just don't get it. There seems to be a lot going on with you."
"It is a garb rooted in deep historical knowledge, I assure you Mr. Hulk. And Captain I am well aware of your World War 2 efforts and would love to sit down and have a chat about imperialism when you get the chance." Captain America lets out a burp.
"Sure thing Raj." Tony gestures towards The Shoveler.
"And the gentleman to his right is the Shoveler. That's his weapon of choice."
"Kind of like Thor with his hammer," the Shoveler remarked hopefully. Cap and Banner perch? their heads, expressing some doubt that it's the same relationship.
"And this is um…I'm sorry I don't think I got your name."
"I'm Mr. Furious. My power comes from my incessant rage." Banner's face lights up.
"Oh, that actually is where my power comes from too," Banner sadly remarked.
"Yeah I know, I'm actually excited to exchange notes if you want to. I mean my rage, I think, is a little bit more to handle. Sort of just a nonstop freight train of fury that could go off the tracks at any moment."
"So what happens when you get angry?" asked Banner.
"Um well. I can access superhuman strength." Steve Rogers looks impressed at this notion and asks:
"Oh. So do you get bigger? Do your muscles grow?"
"Yeah because I get green and grow really big, like all the way up here." Banner tries to extend his arms to demonstrate how big he gets but gets a little woozy in demonstrating and almost falls of the couch. Him and Cap giggle.
"No, to answer your question. I stay the same size." The Blue Raja forms a look of frustration and nudges Furious on the shoulder.
"He's being modest. This man defeated the great villain Cass-"
"Oh I know how I know you guys," Tony interrupted. "I saw you guys on television, what was it…like 13 years ago. You guys are the Mystery Men. You killed Cassanova Frankenstein." The Mystery Men start to look bashful. Banner got up from his seat in excitement, and points at the Mystery Men.
"Oh my god, that's right! I remember seeing that. Yeah you guys saved Champion City from being defraculated! Cap, you remember?"
"Of course, yes. Cassanova Frankenstein. What a villain. I remember he had thooose eyeees." Cap makes crazy eyes, trying to imitate those of Cassanova Frankenstein, but just ends up just doing cross-eyes." "What a villain he was…hey whatever happened to Captain Amazing by the way?"
"Nothing." The Shoveler quickly and defensively barked out. "Um, think he fell down a flight of stairs, or some…some freak accident. Real tragedy, yeah."
"So anyway, let's get back to um why are you guys here watching us?" Tony asked.
"Oh, well funny story actually Mr. Stark. Me and this band of trusty fighters heard tell of your smashing victory against Lopi, and-"
"It's Loki," Tony corrected.
"Yes Loki, and well, we've been out of commission ever since defeating Cassanova Frankenstein, and wanted to join up with your band and kick some villainous heine!"
"Yeah you know because we beat Cassanova Frankenstein, and Captain Amazing couldn't even do that. Did without any collateral damage either, so saved the city some money. So if you think about it, we're actually kind of doing our job better than you guys are. Kind of washed out crime in Champion City. Well there's still the return of The Disco Boys but-"
"The Disco Boys?" Cap asks befuddled. Tony cuts in.
"Listen, you can regale us with stories of the Disco Boys and all that nonsense later in the night. Right now: you guys want to be in the Avengers. Correct?
"Yes sir," says the Shoveler.
"Absoforkley" says the Blue Raja.
"Sure, yeah, I guess it could be cool," Mr. Furious mumbled under his breath. Tony claps his hands.
"Okay. Everybody's on board. So how do we make the decision?" Tony begins to pace around forcing a look of contemplation. "We have to take in a lot of factors in." Cap and Banner start to grin at Tony's speech. "Chemistry plays a big role in this. You see us? Hanging out. Drinking. This is the magic right here. I need to know you guys could handle the hangs. So I say we do a try out. Tonight is our bi weekly Avengers game night so why don't we include you men of mystery in on the festivities."
"Bloody Hell. Let's forking do it!"
Mr. Furious shakes his head, losing his patience with each wrong answer.
"You're a snake!" Banner shouted. Mr. Furious begins to open his mouth to give a hint, but then recalls that it is against the rules.
"Time's up!" hollered Captain America with a certain gleefulness when he can rub something in Mr. Furious's face.
"Dammit Bruce, I was…I was a rabbit, how do you not get rabbit, it couldn't have been more obvious."
"Rabbit's don't hiss, Furious."
"Please don't tell me what rabbits do Bruce. It infuriates me."
"Roy, I've been telling you we can work on that, I've cracked the code on anger, let me show you the ways -"
"Listen dork. I'm an uncontrollable train of rage and fury, whether you like it or not. So you best step off the tracks before you get hurt." Bruce Banner eyes Mr. Furious before the sound of roaring laughter bursts out from Tony Stark, which is followed by laughter from Banner, and Cap. Mr. Furious looks befuddled and helpless in the face of the Avengers' laughter. He gestures towards Jeff, aka The Blue Raja to help him out. Jeff gets up from his recliner chair and comes to defend his partner in crime.
"Now listen chaps, there is no reason to laugh at our dear fellow Mr. Furious. Sure he did put on a rather contemptuous performance, but no reason to razz him too hard."
"Oh come on Raj, don't be a wet blanket. We're just trying to mix it up, have a little fun. This is how the Avengers do game night. We good?" Tony dulls out a supportive tap on Blue Raja's shoulder.
"Of course Mr. Man, it was a silly point on my end. Please let's continue with the revelry." Roy throws his arms in the air at Jeff's quickness to fold under pressure and not back him up.
Roy mumbles under his breath, "suck up." The Shoveler then returns from his long bathroom break.
"Everything alright? By the way Mr. Stark, I think there may be some sort of issue with your toilet system. Definitely was not me."
"Everything is fine Shovel Man. Come take a load off."
"So what's the next game for tonight, Tony?" Cap asked eagerly.
"Dance off, I believe. Jarvis, initiate dance off sequence." A section of the floor separates and a dance floor rises up. The lighting in the room goes down.
"Oh what a nifty little trick that is. Superb Mr. Man, superb stuff indeed!" exclaimed the Blue Raja.
"Thank you Raj, means the world. Now lose those forks and get ready to boogie"
"Yes of course, boogie I shall." Blue Raja zealously clears the forks off his person and puts them on the table. "Did you hear that, Furious? He said it means the world!"
"Keep it in your pants, Jeff." Mr. Furious begins to take off his black leather jacket but struggles halfway through taking it off. He yanks and jerks it off awkwardly while making what he thinks is intimidating eye contact with Iron Man. "So what jingle are we jingling to Mr. Roboto?"
"Jarvis. Play Right Back Where We Started From by Maxine Nightingale." The song comes on. Bruce Banner makes an excited face to Cap, as he knows this is Tony's go to song. Both Cap and Banner sit down on the couch set up outside the dance floor. "Your move Furious."
"Oh, so Mr. Roboto wants to kick it old school. Alright. I can dig it. Get a load of this, motor mouth." Mr. Furious puffs his chest and shimmying his shoulders. He then does a spin but overshoots it a bit and almost falls. He has a brief look of embarrassment, but then manages to transition from the failed spin into a series of aggressive and out of rhythm moves relying mostly on the upper body. It looks like shadow boxing but not well executed shadow boxing. "Yeah, stick that in your pipe and smoke it, tin man." The Shoveler dulls out a fist pump in excitement for what he perceives as Roy's moment of triumph. Tony begins to move forward from his corner of the dance floor. He takes off his jacket in one smooth motion.
"Not bad, Mr. Fury."
"It's Furious."
"Whatever. You put up a valiant effort, but now it's time for me to show you how it's done." Tony immediately bursts into a moonwalk, gliding smooth across the dance floor. Mr. Furious forces a scoff. "Oh, you want more?" Tony drops down to the floor and performs a series of intricate break dance maneuvers. Mr. Furious, The Shoveler, and The Blue Raja's are all expressing genuine awe. Banner and Cap are drifting off into sleep. Mr. Furious tries to respond with a moonwalk of his own. He forces an awkward moonwalk that is more trudging than gliding. But by Mr. Furious's face expresses supreme confidence.
"Oh yeah. Looks like the tin man isn't the only one who can dance." Mr. Furious then trips over his own foot and stumbles onto the floor. This wakes up Banner and Cap who begin laughing at the misfortune of Furious. "Dammit!"
"Don't worry, Furious. That'll be all for the games. I called an Uber. We're going out to celebrate. After all, I don't know if you remember but we did just save the world." Tony pats Mr. Furious on the back.
The Uber XL pulls up. The Mystery Men and Avengers cram in. Mr. Furious gets stuck in the miDle seat, smushed between Banner and Cap while Tony rides shotgun and Shoveler and Raja are in the back. There is silence in the Uber beside the Black Eyed Pease song "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night," that is playing on the radio. The Uber driver is looking straight ahead at the road. After a minute of silence, the Blue Raja chimes in.
"Blue Raja, mastery of cutlery my good sir, absolute pleasure to know you. I hope you are aware that you are driving some of the world's best heroes. We demolish the dastardly and wipe out the wicke-
"Hey Raj," Tony called out. "Maybe cool it with the introductions. Us Avengers like to adopt more of a speak softly but carry a big stick mentality."
"Understood completely. In my case it's more of a speak softly and carry a big fork." Blue Raja chuckles alone.
"Yes or a shovel in my case," quipped the Shoveler.
"Can you guys shut up please," said Banner in an annoyed tone. "I'm trying to just focus on not throwing up right now." Mr. Furious sits in the miDle visibly fuming. He leans back to whisper to Raja and Shoveler.
"Hey I don't like the way they're treating us. Those we're funny jokes. They deserved laughs. They're being disrespectful"
"You know we can hear you right," Cap stated. Mr. Furious grows angrier with each bump in the road. He shoots a glare at Captain America. Cap catches the glare, then looks back at Furious who then stares down at the floor of the car. The Uber pulls up to the parking lot of the club, Bounce.
The heroes get out of the car and make their way into the club. Tony has VIP seating roped off waiting for the Avengers. They pass by the bouncer and sit down on the bright red leather couches. Two waitresses come by with two bottles of champagne in a bucket of ice.
"Congratulations to the Avengers," the waitress excitedly yelled. "You guys are heroes! And are these handsome gentleman with you?" Tony begins to laugh.
"Oh these guys," he chuckles. "This is uh Shovel boy, um the Fork fighter, and um Mr. Angry pants." Mr. Furious grimaces and then jumps up from the couch to confront Tony.
"You know what, I'm sort of sick of your disrespect, Copper man. I think you might just make me furious."
"Well why don't you quit talking about it, and do something."
The door of the club bursts open and in come the disco boys. There are 5 of them. They are dressed in over the top 1970's disco clothes consisting of tight brightly colored vests, fur lining on their jackets, and large floppy fedoras. Each disco boy is carrying a gun. They spot the Avengers and Mystery Men and storm over. The leader of the disco boys, Tony C Jr begins to speak.
"Oh we heard the loser squad was making a trip to California. And we just had to check out what for. And look! It's the SUPER loser squad. Looks like we're just gonna have to kill all of yous." Tony C picks his pistol up but before he can even aim it, Captain America has already kicked him in the ribs sending him flying 20 feet. Cap proceeds to beat down and bully the Disco Boys as they helpless scream in agony. As they are all lying on the floor in pain, Cap wipes his hands, takes a breath and says,
"Well that wasn't too rough was it?" One disco boy appears to be getting up. Blue Raja spots this and flings a fork that hits him dead in the hand.
"OWWWW!" The Blue Raja smirks. Another disco boy appears to be getting up. Mr. Furious's eyes lit up as he burst to the disco boy to dull out a kick to the gut.
"Nice shot Raj," exclaims Stark. "Helluva kick, Furious. So we should probably get out of here, because this is gonna look bad." The Mystery Men are all smiling proudly in victory.
"Yeah let's get the hell out of here," said Banner. The Mystery Men and the Avengers walk out the club, stepping over the bodies of the Disco Boys. Mr. Furious stumbles over an arm of one of the disco boys. As the group exits the door and makes their way to the parking lot, the Blue Raja dulls out a fist bump.
"We did it boys!" yelled the Blue Raja. "So what should we call this rag tag bunch of justice doers?"
"I got it," shouted Mr. Furious. "The Mystery Avengers!" Bruce Banner bolts to a nearby trash can and throws up.