Hey, are you still there? First of all, sorry for that long time of absence. I just didn't have the motivation for the story that I had when I started it, and honestly I felt like most of my readers have lost interest in this, as well. However, I don't ever like to not finish something I have started, so here we are. It's going to be small steps. This chapter is a little shorter than normal but I just wanted to tell you guys that I am back again. And you tell me, if you think I should continue with this. I love reading and writing Sparia but it's always nice to share the work with someone. So please take a minute to tell me, if you would like to see more.

Anyway, thank you so much for your patience and your messages.

Here we go.

The room was filled with silence as Aria sat on the couch, her legs curled up on the side and her hands were fiddling nervously with her phone. Her eyes were rooted at the door and every time Aria could hear something creak, she sat up instinctively as she prepared herself to have that one conversation with Spencer that could change everything. She hadn't really thought of how she was going to start explaining the things Hanna had told her, but her blonde friend had been right. Too many secrets had sabotaged their newfound relationship already, and Aria didn't want Spencer to find out somewhere else just so that things would start to boil all over again.

She starred at the wooden door while seconds turned to minutes, and minutes to an hour. By the time the door opened she was almost asleep, eyes closed from the brightness of the light, when she suddenly heard Spencer whisper her name.

Her head moved up in seconds and she spotted Spencer withdrawing her hand from where she had laid it on her shoulder.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Aria shook her head softly, making room for Spencer to sit next to her on the couch. As soon as Aria felt Spencer's weight drop next to hers, she shifted closer, reaching for the taller girl's hand almost on impulse.

"Are you okay?", the brunette asked as she ran her thumb softly along Aria's hand, and Aria could already see how her brows furrowed in worry.

Aria shrugged slightly, not knowing how to start.

"I was at Hanna's earlier."

Spencer seemed confused.

"I know."

"And she said something - ", Aria couldn't find the words, she paused, thinking of the best way to get this off her chest.

"Aria?" Spencer's attention was now fully on Aria, confused as to why that information was important.

"She told me some things, Spence. And I swore to myself to not keep anything from you again, ever, so -"

"She is not in love with you, too, is she?" Aria was halfway at breaking out in laughter, when she noticed how serious Spencer seemed. Instead of laughing, she shook her head, planting a kiss on their intertwined hands.

"No. It's nothing like that."

"Good. I don't think I can handle more competition." Spencer's tone was light and a small smile tucked on her lips, but Aria knew the weight behind them.

"There is no competition, Spence." Aria assured her, squeezing her hand briefly and smiling up at her, before turning slightly, as her eyes found the door again.

"Do you wish you would have gotten a job in Washington?" She didn't mean to sound so cryptic, but she couldn't help it. A millions of thoughts were rushing through her mind and she wasn't able to control the chaos that filled her head.

"I – what has that got to do with the fact that you were at Hanna's?"

Aria grew impatient, her fingers fiddling with Spencer's hand. "Just answer the question, Spencer."

Spencer sighed at that, opening her mouth slightly when seconds later it fell shut again and Aria already knew the answer. "You do.", she answered before Spencer could speak up again, and even though she wanted to drop Spencer's hand she forced herself not to.

"I did, yes.", Spencer agreed, and then her eyes went dark. "But that was before you were kidnapped - by Fitz. Before I was scared to death that something might have happened to you. Before I felt guilty that I couldn't protect you. And now - Now I don't even know what I want besides being here to look out for you, holding you so you won't be able to escape, watching you sleep peacefully so I know you are okay. You don't know the thoughts that kept swirling through my mind while we were looking for you, Aria. I don't even want to think about that day."

"I -", Aria tried to say, but Spencer shook her head, her voice suddenly rising. "You don't understand, Aria. When you were risking your own life to save Ezra from shooting himself, I lost it. I wish you would have thought about me in that moment. Did you even think how I felt when you were basically at gun point?!"

"Spence, I understand that -"

"No!", Spencer screamed, her body shaking. "Aria, you don't understand. You don't understand. I could have lost you that day and – and I can't - I can't live without you." Aria could spot tears in her girlfriend's eyes and she felt her heart break at the sight. Without thinking she cupped the taller brunette's head, bringing her down to meet her own lips, before Spencer had time to pull away. Their kiss tasted like salty tears and desperation, and Aria allowed herself to stay in it a few more seconds until breaking apart, her hands cupping Spencer's face while her own tears threatened to fall.

"I am sorry. I know it looked like I was being reckless, but - "

With that Spencer withdrew her body from Aria's and shook her head furiously, new tears making their way down her cheeks.
"Aria, for god sakes you fricking told him he would shoot both of you, if he pulled that trigger! And don't tell me you knew he wouldn't do it. You don't know what someone is capable of in a state like that. You were lucky - and insanely stupid for risking your life that way!"

It took Aria a second to fully grasp on Spencer's outburst. She was right. She was being reckless, and she hadn't really thought of the consequences in that moment. Seeing Spencer so furious and scared at the same time, made her suddenly realize what her girlfriend must have been going through.

"I am sorry.", she swore again, scooting a little closer, hoping Spencer wouldn't push her away. Spencer sniffled, but wrapped her arms tightly around her in a bone crushing embrace, inhaling the smell of her hair as Aria laid her head on the brunette's chest.

"Me too. I didn't mean to scream at you. I just - I was so scared. I don't ever want to be that close to losing you."

"Me neither." Aria replied after pressing kissing soft kisses to Spencer's collarbone, and she knew she didn't had to elaborate on that. They both had been going through hell those last months and Aria could only hope that it wouldn't get worse than that after she would tell Spencer the whole thing.

It took both of them a moment to relax again, but when Aria could feel Spencer's breathing had calmed down, she decided to try again, this time going straight to the point.

"Alex and Mona have been working together.", she began and even though she still had her head burrowed into Spencer, so she couldn't see her face, she felt Spencer tense at those words.

"They have been sabotaging us. You. Hanna told me they were spying on us. And that Alex had made Mona sabotage your mails. That's why you got rejected, Spencer."

When she finished, Aria noticed how awfully quiet Spencer was, so she turned her head to see what Spencer was thinking. The other girl's eyes seemed empty and for the first time in forever, Aria couldn't quite read her. After giving Spencer the time to progress the new information, Spencer finally turned to make eye contact. "Thank you for telling me.", she softly said. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised." Aria could feel how Spencer's body sank into hers, and Aria quickly sat up to bring Spencer's body down to hers in order to console her. "I am sorry about the job, Spence. Maybe you should call some of them. I am sure they would be thrilled to have someone as outstanding and efficient as you to work for them. We can work this out. I could go to Washington. I don't want you to miss out on such an opportuinity" Spencer's reply was a soft laugh against Aria's body and a kiss to her exposed shoulder blade. "I love you for saying that. But I don't think I want to be in Washington anymore. Not right now at least. This is still our home. Maybe in the future, when we both decide it's the right move."

Aria felt like a thousand stones had been lifted off of her shoulder, but she couldn't help but feel guilty, too. "You don't know how happy I am to hear that, but I would never want to be responsible for you not being able to live your dream."

Aria could feel Spencer's hot breath near her ear, her mouth dangerously close to that sensitive spot right below her ear. "Lose her?" She smirked, and Aria blushed deeply. "She is right here.", she heard Spencer whisper as shivers ran down her spine. "And I don't ever want to lose her ever again." With that Spencer grabbed Aria by the waist and pinned her into the soft furniture, before attacking her neck with hot wet kisses and sliding her hands down her small body.

"Spencer.", Aria breathed out, unable to formulate a coherent sentence as Spencer's hand worked their magic over Aria's slim frame. "What about Alex, and Mona though?", she got out, breathless as she tried to push Spencer slightly off of her. Spencer groaned, lifting herself off of Aria so she could lean on her elbows, hovering above her. "You really know how to ruin the mood, you know?", she hoarsed frustrated as Aria couldn't help but giggle at the way Spencer's dark lustful eyes were still eyeing her. Deciding that another drama could wait, she slung her left arm around her girl's neck, guiding her down so she could feel Spencer's body against hers again. "I changed my mind. Let's not talk anymore", the writer whispered, before connecting their lips roughly, leaving no more room for discussion. She could hear Spencer moan into their mouths, her hands finding the curves of her body easily, her mumbled words barely audible: "Your wish is my command, baby."

tbc