Eight

Only two days passed when Erin made up her mind. A simple message and a planned meeting was enough to end all the work of three years. She did not know how she had been able to present herself at the Ministry to resign, what is more, her voice had trembled so much that she feared someone would think they were forcing her. Actually, she felt as if it had been the case but it was a decision she had accepted on her own; she had not told her parents or friends and she had only shown Tonks's letter to Sirius because she did not want him to worry while she was away.

What she disliked most, she thought, lying on her bed, was not having to make the decision. The thought that tormented her was that the first thing that had crossed her mind had been to ignore Tonks's warning. She was disappointed with herself because her first choice would have been incredibly selfish. Looking at her file, which she had been grateful to keep, she realised that she would have put at risk many people she cared about.

All her thoughts were interrupted by a couple of knocks on the door that made Erin breathe deeply. She knew it was obviously Sirius, and although she expected it, she did not want to face anyone. While the door opened, she just rolled to the other side of the bed, facing the door. She sat up when she saw Sirius standing there but already inside of her room. Erin's hair was loose and the white shirt that she liked so much was wrinkled completely due to the time she had been lying there. She had not even bothered to change her clothes when she had got back from the Ministry.

"Hello."

It was Erin who first spoke in a thin voice.

"Hello." He answered back. "I've already had dinner, aren't you coming down?"

Erin shook her head and for a moment she noticed a trace of concern in Sirius' voice.

"I'm not really hungry."

"So, have you resigned?" She nodded then as if it was something obvious and Sirius continued talking. "It was for the best. For your safety, above all."

Erin fell silent for a few seconds. She turned her gaze to the floor and as she listened at Sirius' fingers drumming on the door frame, she realized that he had not understood it well. It was clear that both knew each other better after almost twenty days alone in that house but they did not know all of each other.

"I didn't do it for me." Erin clarified. "I did it for them."

They looked into each other's eyes and seeing that he was nodding this time, she knew that she would not have to explain that she meant her family.

"I can understand that."

Erin did not want to talk to anyone, that was true, but it would not hurt her either, so she sighed and decided that she could try to explain it to him.

"I didn't want to do it." She murmured. "And now I feel so-"

"Guilty or selfish?" Sirius asked, interrupting her.

She was surprised that he had caught it so quickly.

"Both."

"There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first." Sirius said. "Sometimes it's easier to act like that."

If Erin had to choose between herself and someone she cared about, she knew she would never chose herself first. Erin suspected that he was not that kind of person either, after everything he had suffered for his friends or for Harry, without going any further.

"I don't think either of us know how to do that." She pointed.

"I guess we don't." Sirius said with a slight smile.

After this he approached the door again and grabbed the knob to go back out.

"Some sleep will do you good."

After he spoke Erin got up from the bed to change her clothes. When Sirius was leaving the room he looked at her with his mouth ajar, as if he wanted to say something else. Nevertheless, he closed the door behind him and left Erin all alone with her doubts again.

It was a deafening scream, which would have been heard throughout the house, which put Erin on her feet. She did not have time to check what time it was or if she had listened well because her first instinct had been to get out of bed and grab her wand.

"Lumos." She whispered as she moved towards the door.

With the wand in hand, Erin thought that wandering into an old, dark house in the middle of the night was not her favourite pastime. Still, someone had screamed with a heartrending pain that had caused her to shiver from head to toe. The first thing that crossed her mind as she went down to the second floor was that it may have been the portrait again but she had only considered it to set aside the most logical option: it was Sirius who had shouted, that was almost certain. Could it be possible that someone had entered the house while they were sleeping? The prospect of Sirius being hurt made Erin walk more quickly to his room. She knew where it was but she had never been inside and when she found herself facing the door, only in her nightgown and barefoot, feeling the cold ground, she felt paralysed.

"Sirius?" She said at the same time as she opened the door slowly.

She did not know what she was going to find. A part of her did not want to discover it, but to run back up the stairs to the warmth and tranquillity of her bed. However, that part was not going to win that night.

Erin breathed a sigh of relief when the halo of light from her wand lit up the room and she only found Sirius. The feeling lasted only a second and the worry replaced it. Sirius was sitting on his bed with the sheets pushed aside. That would have been normal, but his face was dishevelled, as if something had horrified him and Erin could hear him breathing rapidly from the entrance of the room. She realised then, that it had simply been a nightmare, that she had been too paranoid and was violating his privacy right now. She took a step back but bumped into the leg of a dresser she had not seen, crushing the smallest toe of her foot.

"Merlin!" She shouted involuntarily, it had hurt so much that it had escaped from her lips.

Sirius turned his head to her then, squinting, because she was pointing directly at him with her wand.

"Erin?" He asked confused. "What are you doing?"

She lowered her wand so as not to dazzle him and realized that Sirius was wearing only shorts and a sleeveless top. Had she not been so terrified up until that moment, she would have blushed more than ever.

"You were screaming." She said steadily. "I thought something had happened to you or that someone had come in so ... I went down."

"I'm fine." He spoke, running his hand through his hair. "It was a nightmare."

"I don't know what you were dreaming." Erin began to say. "But you scared me, are you really okay?"

Sirius turned his back on her as he leaned toward the small table beside his bed to pick up his wand.

"I don't know." He admitted lighting up a small lamp. "It felt very real."

Erin stood without knowing what else to do while Sirius sat on the carpet and leaned back on the bed with his hand on his chest. She could tell he was still affected by whatever he had seen. She thought that perhaps she should not stay there any longer, feeling quite embarrased but Sirius kept talking and then she found herself sitting next to him.

"We were in the Department of Mysteries, as if it were the battle of last year again. Do you know what I'm talking about?" Erin nodded. She remembered that but she had not been there. "Everything happened in the same way, but in the end Bellatrix reached Harry and he fell down the Veil."

Erin swallowed. Nobody knew what the Veil was exactly, only that it was related to death and that was enough to give her goosebumps.

"Remus was holding me tight and I could only scream and scream while Harry-" Sirius stopped talking suddenly and looked away. He did not seem to be able to say anything else.

She understood perfectly then why he was so scared. She asked herself if this happen to him often. Sometimes it seemed like he did not rest at all so maybe he had nightmares more usually than she was aware of.

"But it was just a dream." Erin said. A frightening one, after all.

"Yes." Sirius answered. Then he turned to look at her. "I 'm sorry I woke you up like that."

Erin shrugged a little and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"It's alright." She said. "At least you know I'm going to run like a madwoman every time you scream to see what's wrong with you."

Sirius smiled a little and Erin felt satisfied. Her poor attempt to cheer him up had worked.

"And you will not hesitate to sneak into my room."

He said it with a grin on his face that made it sound like he meant something else. Erin felt the need to defend herself but could not help but laugh.

"Of course I had my doubts. You can always do the same and we are even."

Sirius did not look away from Erin and she felt her cheeks burn when he answered her. Both were just playing along.

"If I didn't know you I'd think you were proposing something indecent."

She muttered something under her breath as she shook her head and Sirius looked away laughing. He seemed to have calmed down already.

"Erin." He turned serious again. "I didn't want to bother you, but it's good to know someone cares about me."

"It's the least I can do."

She thought about how Sirius had welcomed her after the first few days, making her feel like she was in her own house, letting her do everything she wanted and asking her if she was okay when things went wrong. Like that afternoon. She did not feel obligated at all, because her appreciation was growing little by little within her.

"I was worried before you arrived because I thought I wouldn't get used to seeing someone else in this house, every day. I truly detest this place because for me it represents what my family was. I always wanted to get away from it as much as possible. Being here I feel that everything turns against me again."

Erin looked at Sirius without saying a word but as he seemed to be taking a weight off his shoulders she listened.

"But suddenly you come with your good ideas, your flowers and all your joy. Harry and all his friends arrive, full of life, of energy; Remus and Tonks just as vital and in love as well ... and it's impossible for me not to be happy. You all are helping me a lot. Solitude is a very nice word, you know? but not what it implies."

He paused a moment to breathe and Erin realised, while she felt her shoulders rubbing, that she had run out of words. Did he just include her with them people he loved so much? This was not what was expected at all, but it was more than comforting to hear it. Erin had stopped breathing.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm glad you're here and that I can count on you. I wanted to tell you before, when I went to your room, I thought you'd like to hear it but I didn't know if it was the right time."

"Sirius." Erin laid her hand carefully on his shoulder. "If you really feel everything you've said, it's always the right time."

There was someone she could try to make happy, someone she was really helping, Erin thought. That alone was enough to make her feel a little better about herself after having spent the whole afternoon punishing herself with rather negative thoughts.

Sirius did not miss how Erin's green eyes shone as he listened to her words. It was exactly what he had intended because he just wanted her to be fine, just as she had rushed to see if he was as well.

Erin got up with a smile from ear to ear and Sirius did the same, to return to bed. She walked to the door, pulling down her nightgown. She turned around before leaving and she dared to speak, not as he had done that afternoon.

"I know it's not my place to say and that I didn't experience what you did here. But something as material as a house, only has the value that you want to give it."

Erin closed the door after Sirius responded by nodding and smiled to herself, with a sense of relief in her chest. She was also more than happy to be there.

As usual thanks for reading and a shoutout to the new followers! Once again, I'd love to hear your thoughts, I'll update soon.