First of all, I would like to say a ginormous THANK YOU to everyone who has followed, favorited, and/or reviewed 'A Genin's Guide to Not Dying a Horribly Painful Death'!

WE'VE JUST SURPASSED 3,300 VIEWS AND I AM ON CLOUD NINE! ^_^

Secondly, I would like to collectively address the messages along the lines of "But Mistress-Kakakshi! This is an AU! Itachi didn't throw his morals out the window and murder his entire clan of elite shinobi on the Hokage's orders! Sasuke has a family! Konoha didn't lose one of its founding clans!".

**clears throat and puts on sexy-sensei reading glasses. Gestures with pointer stick at chalkboard behind me**

AU = "Alternative Universe"

Now lovelies, in this fic, we are still in what I like to call the "Naruto Universe". There are ninja. They do fantastical things like jump meters at a time, throw weapons with unrealistic accuracy, mold chakra, and having talking animal companions.

But this story is not set in alternative universe. This is not a high-school or modern world or werewolf or vampire story. Nor is it set in any sort of fundamentally different world than that of the anime or the manga.

Yes, I have changed and will continue to change aspects of the cannon story that I dislike for one reason or another. That is the beauty of this wonderful platform and my position as the all-powerful-author of this fic. I will do my utmost best to explain and expand upon the changes that occur, particularly the political and cultural impact of the non-annihilation of the Uchiha clan, but I also wish to leave bits and pieces up to your own imaginations.

If you have any questions or continuity concerns in regards to the story, please feel free to leave a review or send me a PM and I will happily address them in these pre-notes to help clarify.

But please, for the sake of my delicate sanity, cease using that false label in regards to this work.

Now, without further delay or melodrama, I present to you Chapter Six! Or at least Part One. ^_^"

Chapter Six

Part One

Sakura was certain that Kakashi intended to keep his promise, but she started to seriously doubt his ability to do so when the Demon of the Hidden Mist showed up.

As they had traveled towards the coast, Tazuna had finally revealed the nasty details of his predicament. He was being hunted by a powerful business tycoon - slash drug lord - named Gato. The bridge Tazuna was in charge of building would link the island nation to the mainland and break Gato's stranglehold on the economy. This of course led to a considerable amount of money being spent to prevent the construction from being completed.

Unfortunately, given that the Demon Brothers they had encountered four days prior were chunin ranked, it was expected the next ninja sent after the bridge builder's head would be a jonin. But S-ranked missing-nin seemed to be a bit of an overkill in Sakura's opinion.

Then again, Gato sounded like a man unwilling to leave any chance that Tazuna would escape death once more.

She had barely restrained herself from strangling Naruto when he flung a kunai unexpectedly into a bush a few meters from the edge of path just as they had begun their day of travel. After too may peaceful days in a row, Sakura had expected their good luck to run out soon. When it turned out to be a rabbit, she had started to relax, but Kakashi's suddenly still profile made her guard go back up. He was gazing suspiciously at the small, fuzzy creature that Naruto was attempting to comfort. Though his hands remained in his pockets, his shoulders had lost their lazy slouch.

What does he see that I'm missing?

Sakura sucked in a sharp breath and her eyes darted around trying to pick up any movement in the nearby foliage. Her hand hovered nervously over her kunai pouch and she rolled her weight onto her toes. Sasuke's dark eyes caught her shift in posture and he adjusted his stance as well, though she wasn't sure if he had come to the same realization.

It was white. Snow rabbits weren't white in the summer. It was raised indoors as a substitute and Naruto wasn't as foolish as she had originally thought if he had sensed someone hiding in wait. But a substitution jutsu didn't have a large range and the enemy ninja was surely lurking close by…

"Get down!"

Kakashi shout had the four of them hitting the dirt, Sasuke reaching out to drag Tazuna down with them. A gust of wind ruffled her pink locks and when she glanced back up her eyes widened in horror - a giant blade was embedded in an oak tree in front of them. It would have certainly removed their heads if not for Kakashi's warning.

Sakura scrabbled back to her feet and joined her teammates in forming a protective circle around the bridge builder. Their sensei was tense and his gray eye had darkened to nearly black as he glared up at the shinobi that appeared on the massive sword.

The ninja was as equally monstrously large as his weapon. His back was turned and he was regarding them arrogantly over his shoulder. The bottom half of his face was wrapped in bandages, but the broad expanse of his torso was left bare except for a sword strap across the chest. The vertical stripes of his pants only emphasized his towering height and they, with the matching arm and leg sleeves, did little to conceal his heavily muscled physique.

But it was the hitaiate on his head that caused her stomach to turn to lead. Kirigakure. The capital of the Land of Water. Her parents were going to have an aneurysm.

"Well, well. If it isn't the rogue ninja of the Hidden Mist, Momochi Zabuza." Kakashi's casual drawl had an undercurrent of steel. The 'rogue ninja' part of his address caused her intestines to twist nervously. This is bad.

When Naruto tried to dart forward to engage their opponent himself - probably an effort to repair his damaged pride from the earlier fight - she snagged the back of his painfully orange jacket and yanked him back into formation.

"You fool, you'll only get in the way. Can't you tell you're way out-classed?" she snapped quietly. Her hands were slick with nervous sweat and her pulse was pounding painfully in her throat. Sakura had been proud of her ability to remain calm so far, but this guy sparked some sort of primal fear in her.

"Sakura is right. You guys stay back. This guy is in a whole other league." Kakashi heaved a heavy sigh and pushed his hitaiate back to expose his scarred left eye.

"I guess with you as an opponent, I'll be needing this." The brilliant scarlet of the Sharingan had her stiffening in shock.

Oh shit.

Oh shit. Inner nodded frantically. If the Copy Ninja is bringing out the big guns that means we're pretty well fucked.

"Hatake Kakashi. Konoha's Spare Sharingan." Zabuza's eyes held a manic gleam. "This will certainly be interesting. Unfortunately for you, I need to deliver the bridge builder's head to my employer."

Tazuna froze and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly.

Living with a price on your head must be different than having death stare you straight in the face.

The bandaging strained over Zabuza's wide grin. A bead of sweat trickled down Sakura's temple and her teeth clenched together.

Cocky bastard. Even if we're genin, it's still four against one. And Kakashi's no small fry.

Sakura tightened her grip on the kunai in her hand as the mist around them began to thicken and Zabuza leaped onto the surface of the nearby river. His raised hand signs and the lethal chakra building in the air had Team Seven readying themselves for battle.

"Kirigakure no Jutsu."

The mist turned incredibly dense and Zabuza's form disappeared. The three genin shifted uncertainly around their charge.

"Careful. This guy is the former head of Kiri's ANBU Assassination Unit. A master of the silent kill. Keep your guard up and stay sharp." Kakashi's firm voice strengthened her resolve and she strained her eyes and ears trying to pierce the cloud around them. It was thickening rapidly and soon Kakashi's lean form also vanished from sight.

Zabuza's voice suddenly echoed around them. "Eight points." Even as she whipped her head back and forth she couldn't discern where is was coming from. "Larynx, spine, lungs, liver, jugular, subclavian artery, kidneys, heart. Now, which will be my kill point?" Sakura could feel the small group's fear building and could see the kunai in Sasuke's hand start to tremble.

A fare of chakra from Kakashi had part of the mist fading away, but his furious aura mixed with Zabuza's blood-thirsty chakra hanging in the air and pressed down upon them heavily. She did not imagine her normally-docile sensei would hesitate for a second to rip the Mist-nin limb from limb if he came within striking distance.

Her heart was hammering away under her ribs, but it was her Uchiha teammate that seemed to be struggling the most with the killing intent crushing them. His entire body was trembling and his breaths came in shallow pants.

"Sasuke. Calm down. Don't worry, I'll protect you guys. I will not allow my comrades to die." Kakashi's refreshingly normal eye crinkle - even given their terrifying circumstances - allowed Sasuke to loosen his death grip on his weapon and his breathing gradually slowed.

Sakura was absolutely certain that Kakashi intended to keep his promise and ensure that they kept their limbs attached. Their sensei was a wise and kind teacher and she knew he genuinely cared for their well being.

But then the dumb-ass had to get himself stuck in a water prison and she and the boys were left to figure out how to save their own damn necks, in addition to his.

Total Chapter Word Count: 1,323

This one is less than half the length of my average chapter, but I intend to post Part Two on Saturday and meet the 3,500-4,000 word goal when combining the two parts.

Some of my female readers may be able to empathize, as I find myself unable to focus on writing for at least seven days out of the month. All I want to do is yell at people, snuggle my cats, burrow into five tons of blankets, and eat random junk food. I have little patience for grammar or pesky things like editing. So, I've decided that every time this happens and I get hormonal writer's block, I'll just post in shorter, but more frequent segments. ^_^

Sorry if that's too much info for some people, but I figured you guys deserved an explanation.

Please remember to follow/favorite/review! The emails popping up in my inbox every time FF .net sends me a notification feeds my fickle muse. :3

Much love,

Mistress-Kakashi

P.S. All reviews for Chapter Five will be addressed at the end of Part Two. I haven't forgotten about you! ^_^