Shower Slip-up Shower Slip-up
I wake up in a room. I'm suspecting that it'll be my room, but it's not.
"W-where am I?" I ask.
"My room", a voice says.
"S-Sasori?"
"Yes. The poison hurts doesn't it?" he asks.
"Yeah, where'd you find that stuff?"
"I made it".
"You made it?"
"Yes".
"Well, that hurt like Hell. No worse, I've been through Hell already and that didn't feel like Hell".
"I see you really are better. Your sarcasm is back".
"Whoop-de-do".
"MIZU!"
"Damn", Sasori and I both curse.
Tobi jumps up on the bed and gives me a lung-crushing hug.
"MIZU TOBI WAS SO WORRIED! TOBI THOUGHT MIZU WAS GOING TO DIE! TOBI EVEN PRAYED TO JASHIN WITH HIDAN THAT YOU WOULD GET BETTER! BUT HIDAN SAID THAT PRAYING TO JASHIN FOR GOOD THINGS IS AN OXYMORON AND THAT IT WOULDN'T WORK, BUT IT DID-"
"Tobi shut up or I'll kill you", Sasori mutters darkly.
Tobi immediately quiets down and stops crushing my lungs.
"Thanks, Sasori".
"How come you didn't escape?" Sasori asked suddenly, "We didn't want to ask Itachi because that would be like asking to die".
"Rei and I made a bargain", I answered.
"You met The Leader?"
I nod my head and sink back into the (extremely!) fluffy pillows.
"How long have I been out?"
"Five days, give or take".
"What!" I shout, jumping out of the covers and landing hard on my feet.
I fall down to the floor because I got up too quickly. Sasori helps me up and sets me back down on the bed.
"I have to get to work. I shouldn't have slept. I'm so far behind. Rei's going to kill me. I need to get to-"
Sasori puts his finger to my lips.
"Please shut up. You need to rest. You exhausted your body in that battle. And if you're going to work, you need a shower first because you really stink".
"Gee, thanks. Can I go back to my room?"
"No, we don't trust you that much".
"Then can I use yours?"
"Mine's broken since Tobi had a little "accident" in it".
"Then whose can I use?"
"My next door neighbor's", he grins.
"Thanks, Sasori. Can you leave my clothes on the bed for when I get out?"
"Sure thing", he grins.
"Thanks again Sasori".
He helps me to the next-door neighbor's room.
"I'll bring your clothes before you get out. Lock the door".
"Because you guys are perverts right?"
"Exactly".
He leaves the room and I walk into the bathroom. A guy definitely lives here. There are razors on the counter and the cap is not on the toothpaste. Then I realize that the bedroom was pretty clean for a guy. Oh well. I strip and walk into the blazing inferno. Hot water washes away the battle dirt and blood and all traces of sickness. Clean! I take a long time washing my hair; it's hugely long now. It's like down to my butt! I finish up with my shower and wrap a red towel around me. I unlock the bathroom door and walk out into the room. And then my face turns bright red.
There… sitting on the bed… is Itachi.
And… he's holding… my clothes.
With what little dignity I have, I walk toward him and snatch the clothes away from him. I walk back into the bathroom and slam the door. But before it closes, I see his smug little expression in the mirror. ! I dress as slowly as I can, hoping that he'll be gone when I come out. I change into my ninja outfit. I'm wearing a black and red outfit (it's a good thing I like those colors!). I'm wearing a black with one red stripe skirt with shorts, a black tank top, and a weird red long sleeve half sweater thingy. I think I look ready to kick some ass . I step out of the bathroom happily, my hopes up, and then I stop. Itachi's still in the room.
"Hello, Weasel", I say coldly.
"You look well today Mizuka", he retorts.
"Thank you, so do you".
"Hey Itachi, Mizuka's-"
Sasori stops when he sees the two of us glaring daggers at each other.
"I'll just be going now".
"Did you plan this?" I ask Sasori.
"No, I was just hoping that he wouldn't be in here when you came out".
"He wasn't. What were you doing?" I hiss.
"Enjoying the view", Itachi says smugly.
I'm sure lightning bolts are blasting from my eyes into his, but he doesn't seem to notice.
"Thanks for allowing me to use your bathroom", I say coldly.
"Your welcome", Itachi returns.
I walk out of the room with Sasori.
"Seriously, what went on in there?" he asks.
"I told you the truth, nothing".
"Are you sure? You were burning his eyes with hatred".
"Good".
I walk back toward my room, but Sasori stops me.
"Oh yeah, The Leader wants to see you".
"Me?"
"Yes, you".
"Thanks. Where is his room?"
"All the way down the hall, door on the left".
"Okay".
I walk down the hallway, my heart beating a thousand miles per hour. Why does Rei want me? I knock on the door.
"Come in", Rei says.
I walk in the room silently and bow my head to Rei.
"You called for me, Master?"
"No need for formalities Mizuka".
"Yes… Rei?"
"I'm here to tell you you're punishment for trying escape".
"Punishment?"
He nods his head solemnly, " Rule #5: No escaping. As punishment for breaking this rule you will be chained to certain members when they go out on missions".
"Chained?"
"Yes, literally. But while you are here, you are free to roam. However at night you will move from room to room, so that you don't try to escape".
"I'll be sleeping with them?"
"In the same room, not the same bed, unless it's consensual".
"Ew, gross. I'm only fifteen!"
"And most of the members are around the same age as you, just a bit older".
"Who do I get to spend the night with tonight?" I ask.
"Tobi".
"What!?" I screech.
"No excuses. You spend the night with Tobi tonight. The only person that you will never spend the night with is Zetsu and that's only because he'd eat you".
"Eat me?" I squeak.
"He's a cannibal. And speaking of Zetsu…"
A weird form started to shift out of the walls and I just about screamed. This dude was black and white with yellow eyes. He also happened to have green hair and weird Venus fly trap leaves on his head.
"Are those for real!?" I ask.
"Yes they are", Rei says, "Zetsu, meet Mizuka Kohei, our servant girl. She's off limits, so no eating her".
"But she looks so tasty/ We should listen to Leader/ Who cares what leader thinks? / Leader will be angry if we eat her/ tasty so tasty/ not tasty, not tasty/ sweet, young, delicious/ bad, bad. Mustn't eat/".
"Zetsu had two personalities, in case you can't tell. You may leave now, Mizuka", Rei commands.
"Thank you, Leader".
I walk out of the hall and run toward my room. I pass by Deidara on my bed (why's he here?) and run into the bathroom. Then I proceed to heave my lungs out. When that's all done, I go back out to see Deidara.
"You met Zetsu, didn't you?" he asked.
"Yeah. He wanted to eat me".
"That's what he says to everybody when he first meets them, yeah. He's not so bad. At least, not the White Zetsu".
"So White Zetsu's the nice one and Black Zetsu's the bad one?"
"Yeah".
"Why are you here, Deidara?"
"Sasori told me you were awake. I wanted to make sure you were okay, yeah".
"That's sweet Deidara. I'm hungry", I realize.
"Come on, un. I'll take you to the kitchen".
We walk to the kitchen. When we enter Kakuzu is at the table counting money, Hidan is wolfing down a hunk of meat, and Itachi is just standing in a corner. Every one lifts up their eyes when I enter the room with Deidara. And then… out of nowhere… jumps Tobi!
"Get the fuck off of me, Tobi!"
"Zuka is okay! Zuka is okay! And Zuka gets to spend the night with Tobi! Tobi and Zuka will sleep together and Tobi is very happy!"
I must be blushing, but I'm not the only one.
"What the fuck is going on?" Hidan asks.
"I'm being punished by Leader", I answer, "I get to spend the night with one of you every night and when you go on missions I have to go too. Why me?"
Everyone (minus Itachi) seems happy about that, especially Tobi. I manage to shrug him off and I walk over to the (extremely!) large fridge and I open it up. Inside there is a lot of meat, all bloody and cold (ew!), some moldy fruit, and some weird liquid spilling out of the icebox. I quickly close the fridge and I look at each of the Akatsukis in turn.
"That thing is a nightmare".
"Well if only the maid will clean it up then it will not be a nightmare", Kakuzu says, never looking away from his money.
"The "Maid" will get to it as soon as she eats something", I say.
I open up the pantry and discover roaches and ramen. I grab a cup of ramen and shrug a roach off of my arm.
"You guys are supposed to be an evil organization, and you are ruled by roaches?"
"The maid is really behind on her chores", Kakuzu says.
"The "Maid" will get on that too".
I put hot water in the cup of noodles and try to patiently wait out the three minutes. I'm tapping my foot against the tile floor and it's annoying the other Akatsukis.
"Will you stop that tapping?" Hidan asks.
"Maybe if you ask politely".
"Please, Bitch".
I sigh and stop tapping my foot. And then the three minutes is up. Yeah! I grab my ramen and start slurping away. It burns my tongue! I'm so shocked that I drop the hot ramen on the person I was walking by. Who happened to be Hidan.
"What the fuck? What the fuck did you do to me you Bitch!?"
"Sorry, it was an accident!"
"You probably did that on purpose, you whore!"
"Accident!"
He turns around, still looking scary with noodles in his hair, and slaps me across the face.
I stand there my face blank and say, "Accident".
Hidan bursts from his chair and grabs my neck and pushes me into the wall. He squeezes my neck really hard and I gasp, "Accident".
He snarls at that like a rabid animal and squeezes harder. Then he pulls out a kunai and draws up my sleeve on my left arm. Glinting faintly in the light, you could barely see the name Hidan. He reopened the scars and rewrote his name.
"You still belong to me", he says darkly.
Then in a moment of serendipity, Kakuzu and Deidara pull him away from me. I'm gasping for air and I fall down hard on the floor. I hear Hidan curse and then stop away to his room.
"I… just… attract trouble… don't I?" I say to the room.
Darkness greets me happily.