Tobi the Bad Boy?

I wake up in- who else's room- but Tobi's? He's curled up next to me like a kitten and is snoring quietly. He's still wearing his orange mask and I want to see what he looks like underneath it. My hand moves toward his face ever so slowly… and Tobi suddenly grabs my hand. I gasp and about have a heart attack, but then Tobi makes a loud snort and turns over, still holding my hand.

"Fuck you Akatsuki bastards", I curse.

I lay awake for an hour or so before I decide it's time for Tobi to wake up. I start push him off the bed, hoping he'll let go of my hand, but he doesn't. He just rolls off of the bed, taking me along with him. I land on top of him and his hand sneaks around my back and grips me tightly, I can't breathe. And then the door opens…

"Mizuka, Tobi time to get up-" Kisame says as he walks in the room.

And then he spots us. It's only then that I realize that I'm in an awkward position. I blush a deep shade of puce. Kisame is also blushing purple.

"This isn't what it looks like", I explain.

"Are you sure about that? "Cause from where I'm standing it looks pretty interesting".

"Just shut up and help me. He won't let me go".

"Tobi we're making triple chocolate pancakes!" Kisame shouts.

Tobi jumps up, knocking me over, and starts skipping around the room.

"Pancakes! Pancakes! Tobi loves pancakes!" he sings.

"Tobi shut up", Kisame and I say in unison.

"Mizu, why are you on the floor?"

"Um… I fell off".

"Mizu are you okay? Tobi didn't mean to push you off".

"You didn't Tobi, I always fall off the bed".

"No you don't. When Tobi watched you sleep when you weren't eating, Mizu never fell off the bed!"

"You were watching me?"

"Tobi watched you every night to make sure you were okay", Tobi says happily.

Tobi apparently can't tell that I'm furious, because he goes on describing my sleeping habits.

"Thanks for watching me, Tobi", I say with fake happiness.

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"Yes, Tobi is a good boy", I agree with fake enthusiasm.

We walk out of the room holding hands and my plan has started. We walk into the kitchen just as Kisame is apparently done telling his story. The entire Akatsuki organization is staring at us in astonishment (minus Itachi, Rei, Zetsu, and Tobi- who doesn't know what the Hell is going on).

"Good morning guys! How'd you sleep? Tobi and I slept great!"

Their astonished faces change from astonished to shocked. I walk over to kitchen and start gathering materials.

"What are you doing?" Kakuzu asks.

"Making triple chocolate pancakes", I answer while giving Kisame a wink.

Tobi joyfully skips around the room, repeatedly singing the pancake song as I make the pancakes. When they're done I give Tobi five, and distribute the rest among the Akatsukis.

"Yummy!" Tobi says joyfully.

I move over to Tobi and wipe a chocolate smudge fro his face. Then I give him a kiss on the cheek and smirk at the, quickly-going-insane-that-such-a-cute-girl-as-me-would-fall-for-a-klutz-like-Tobi, Akatsukis.

"Thanks Zuka".

"No, thank you".

I am enjoying this way too much. Who knew I could make the Akatsukis squirm this easily (minus Itachi)?

After our awkward breakfast, Deidara corners me in my room.

"You didn't really sleep with him did you, yeah?" he asks, worry all over his face.

"Why would I sleep with Tobi? And why are you thinking such perverted thoughts?"

"N-no reason", he stutters.

"That's okay, Deidara, just don't tell any one else. I'm having way too much fun with this".

"Okay", he nods.

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi yells happily as we play twister. (I'm so evil).

"Right foot green, left arm blue!" Deidara yells.

The other Akatsuki members (minus Itachi, Rei, Kisame, and Zetsu, who aren't playing) had already been disqualified. For ninjas, none of them were any good. Of course, I played dirty. I tripped and elbowed them on "accident". Hidan had almost throttled me until he saw that only Tobi and I were left. He must have known something was up. The other Akatsukis seemed to have expecting faces.

I move my foot to the closest green and I move my arm to blue. Tobi does the same. And then it happens. I fall and Tobi collapses on top me. And accidentally (I hadn't planned this) our lips touched. And we kissed. Silence surrounded us as we get up. Everyone's (minus Itachi and Deidara, who knew what was going on) faces were bright, bright red.

"Oops, clumsy me", I giggled.

"No, no, Zuka. It was all Tobi's fault", Tobi apologizes.

"Aw, Tobi you're so sweet", I say wrapping him in a hug as I wink at Deidara.

Throughout the day, I was humiliating myself as I used Tobi for my torture.

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi says gleefully for the millionth time.

God, that is so annoying. I wonder if it it's even possible for Tobi to be angry? So far in my time here at Akatsuki, Tobi has never once been mad (the Hidan thing doesn't count because Tobi apologized to him soon after). I wonder if I could make Tobi mad. So far I made the other Akatsuki members (minus Itachi and Rei) insane.

So far I had only annoyed Zetsu and Kakuzu. I'd told Zetsu we were going vegan and he just about fainted when I placed a salad in front of him and apologized for any relatives that I may have killed. He threatened to eat me. But when I placed an entire deer carcass (I won't let him eat humans in front of me) in front of him, he had made an edgy laugh. He thought I was serious! Then I had stolen eight dollars from Kakuzu and put them on Hidan's Jashin temple. I didn't believe in Jashin, so I figured he wouldn't kill me. When Kakuzu had asked me is I had stolen eight dollars I said no, but I saw Hidan come out of your room. Kakuzu fell for it and entered Hidan's room. And guess what? Hidan had seen the eight dollars and had thought that Kakuzu had converted to Jashin! Then they got in this huge fight while I was laughing my head off in the hall. When they're fight made it into the hall, they saw me laughing and they knew it was me. Then Hidan proceeded to beat the crap out of me until I promised not to steal money from Kakuzu and to not violate Jashin's temple. I agreed.

Throughout the rest of the day I followed Tobi around and began to annoy him. I was like a Tobi clone except instead of annoying the other Akatsuki members, I annoyed Tobi himself.

I slowly stalked my prey, until, "Zuka is a good girl!"

Hallway: "Zuka is a good girl!"

Tobi coming out of the bathroom (don't ask): "Zuka is a good girl!"

Living Room: "Zuka is a good girl!"

Kitchen: "Zuka is a good girl!"

Tobi's Room: "Zuka is a good girl!"

Bathroom again: "Zuka is a good girl!"

As I followed Tobi throughout the day, he slowly changed. At first he replied happily, "Tobi is a good boy too!" but then he started to become quiet.

Then, ""Zuka is a good girl!"

"ZUKA IS NOT A GOOD GIRL! SHUT UP! GO AWAY! LEAVE TOBI ALONE!" Tobi exploded.

He stomps (amazingly he can) to the kitchen, muttering under his breath, "Who does Zuka think she is? Tobi was here first. Tobi is a better good boy. Mizu lies and cheats, and steals. Tobi is a good boy".

I slowly enter the kitchen as quietly as I can.

"Zuka is a good girl!" I sing slightly off-key.

What happened next shocked me. No, it totally destroyed the natural order of the world (if Itachi smiled the same thing would happen). Tobi whirled around and slapped me.

TOBI SLAPPED ME.

"Tobi is your superior Mizuka! You must listen to Tobi! Tobi will hurt you more if you disobey him again!"

Wow! Tobi just freaked out. Beware of Tobi. Note to self: Tobi is highly emotional when provoked.

As I walk down the hall (away from Tobi) with my hand trying to cover the angry red welt spreading across my face, whom should I run into?

"Wow, who bitch-slapped you?" Hidan asks.

"Tobi", I say meekly.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah".

"You've got to be lying".

"I'm not".

"You're not?" Hidan asks,

"Yes".

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Tobi has a dark side. All I did was annoy him and he slapped me".

"Are you sure Itachi didn't slap you and then tell you to say that?"

"YES!"

"Okay, but the others are going to have a hard time of believing that".

"If Tobi really is a good boy, he'll tell the truth and apologize".

"Yeah, you're right", Hidan says.

Later at the meeting:

Tobi and I are standing in the palms of the two giant hands. The fingers are filled with the Akatsuki members, except for one finger. Who goes there? The meeting runs smoothly, as Rei discusses just usual things like: No fighting except if it's in the training arena. It's Deidara's turn to buy food for the fridge, and he explains my "punishment" to the other Akatsukis. That certainly made some of their days.

"Anything else?" Rei asks.

"Tobi would like to say something".

"Yes, Tobi?"

"Tobi would like to say sorry to Mizuka. Tobi is sorry that he hurt you. Tobi didn't mean to slap your face. All Mizuka was doing was playing with Tobi and Tobi slapped her. Tobi is a bad boy, a very bad boy".

The Akatsukis are in stunned silence.

"That's okay Tobi, I forgive you", I say and turning to Rei, "Whom am I rooming with tonight?"

"Itachi", he says.