Rayne Says: *readers prepare pitchforks, knives, kunai, and shuriken* Wait! Don't kill me! I updated!
Yes, you heard right. I updated. I finally found my prewritten (on paper) chapters for this story. I reread it and decided I didn't like it. Funny, huh? Heh, heh. So here's the newest chapter of Akatsuki Heartbreaker!
Also, thanks and much love to my faithful reviewers! I love you guys a whole lot!
Revelations
It's been about three weeks since I returned to the Akatsuki. I haven't had to go on any missions and I've been rooming with Deidara, so it's all good.
"What's for breakfast, bitch?" Hidan asks.
"For you? Soap to wash out your dirty mouth."
"Seriously?"
"Fine. French toast and maple syrup," I reluctantly answer.
"Thanks, bitch," he says, sitting down.
I smirk and serve everyone's food, but I notice that Itachi's not here. "He's probably still asleep, I'll go wake him up," I announce.
"Prepare a tombstone," Hidan mutters.
I move down the hall until I reach Itachi's room. I turn the knob when he doesn't answer my knocks. His room is as clean as ever. What happens next brings crimson to my face, and it's not blood this time.
As soon as I walk into the room the bathroom door opens and Itachi walks out… half naked. Of course there's a towel around his waist, but I can't help but notice his well-developed abs. My face turns completely red and he dryly observes my presence. "Um, sorry. Breakfast's ready."
"Fine," he answers.
I walk out of the room, my face bright red and my heart pounding. My mouth has gone dry and my hands a tad bit sweaty. What the hell? I CANNOT like Itachi! NOT POSSIBLE! I calm down a bit and reenter the kitchen. "Hey Deidara, can you come over here?"
He walks over to me with a curious look on his face. When he's close enough I grab him by the collar and kiss him- deeply, passionately, and a little too enthusiastically. I let him go and we both look at each other, our breathing heavy and I hear some cat whistles.
"Get a fucking room!" Hidan yells.
"W-What was that about, yeah?" Deidara asks.
"No reason. I love you," I say.
It's only then that I notice Itachi standing right behind us and glaring bullet holes. "Hey Weasel, breakfast's on the table."
He says nothing and sits down. I sit down by Deidara and start eating, but then I feel weird, really weird. "Excuse me," I say, running to the bathroom.
"Cramps, bitch," Hidan says, grinning.
I flip him the middle finger and run into the bathroom. I slam the door and lock it, hoping that they aren't worried enough to kick the door down. Wait, worried? This is the Akatsuki we're talking about, right? Oh well. The weird feeling rushed over me and I lean over the toilet and puke up all of the French toast that I'd slaved over. When I come out I wobble a little bit, but regain my balance. I get some odd looks from the Akatsuki members, but I sit back down.
"Are you rebelling again?" Kakuzu asks.
"No, I probably got the stomach flu or something."
"Oh no! Tobi must help Mizu! Tobi will stay by Mizu's bed everyday and bring Mizu back to health!"
"Tobi, I'm fine."
"But Mizu is sick!"
"Tobi, shut up."
Tobi's face looks hurt for a second, but then he smiles again. He digs into his French toast with renewed vigor. "Tobi's a good boy!"
"Yeah, Tobi, whatever makes you happy."
I don't eat anymore, but clear the table once everyone's done. I set to work scrubbing away all the syrupy grime with a tiger's determination. "Damn you, scum!" I shout.
"Aw, that hurt my feelings, yeah."
"Not you," I laugh, "this stain refuses to come off."
"Oh, for a second I thought you didn't love me, un."
"I'll always love you," I say.
He wraps his arm around my waist and points to the stain. "Mind if I help, un?"
"No Deidara, this is my job. My job."
"But if I order you to let me help, you wouldn't be breaking the rules."
"Good point."
He grabs the stubborn plate and, using his mouth-hands, scrubs the plate clean.
"Question?" I ask.
"Yeah?"
"Can you taste with those?"
"Kinda, yeah."
"Ew! Gross!"
"Actually, I've never thought about that before, un."
"Really? I thought it was an obvious thing," I comment.
"You know what, yeah?"
"What?"
"You haven't seen my art," he says.
"Yes I have: when we fought."
"That doesn't count, yeah."
"Okay! I wanna see!"
"Good, un."
He leads me outside the lair and to a cliff. "Now you murder me?" I joke.
"No, un. Now art happens!"
He pulls a small bird out of his pocket and throws it over the cliff.
"Deidara! Stop wasting our natural resources!"
"Just watch, yeah," he sighs.
The clay grows into a giant bird that's waiting for us to jump on.
"Wow," I gasp.
"Hold onto me," he orders.
I dumbly hold onto his hand as he jumps onto the bird. He wraps his arms around my waist as we stand on the giant bird. "Are we seriously going to fly or is this just for looks?"
"We're going to fly, yeah."
"Cool!" I say joyfully.
We take off into the air and Deidara grasps me to him tightly. It's amazing! I never imagined that the world would be so different from this height. I feel whole, up here with Deidara flying above the world. I love my life.
Weeks pass by in a blur- flying, taking care of the Akatsuki, spending time with Deidara, and being the happiest I've ever been in my life. The only downer is the fact that I'm still puking every morning. This must be one killer stomach flu. Tobi is seriously worried for me. He even snuck into Konoha and stole about six gallons of cold medicine, but even that didn't help.
After my usual puke-fest, I exit the bathroom and walk into a body. Which happens to be Itachi's body.
"Um-"
"Leader wants to see you."
"Okay."
I follow Itachi down the hall to Rei's office. I expect Itachi to leave, but he goes in with me. Rei has a really serious look on his face and he's not smiling.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"You mean you haven't noticed?" Rei says.
"Noticed what?"
"You've been throwing up every morning, correct?"
"Um, yeah, but it's probably just a cold."
"Itachi told me what happened while you were held captive by Orochimaru."
I freeze. Itachi told Rei? Rei! I'm doomed. Return of the emo cloud
"When did you have your last period?"
"Um… what?"
"Your period."
"Uh, two months ago?"
"So you have missed it, dammit," Rei curses.
Rei can curse? Wow. Wait- what's he saying? I can't be pre-pregnant! No way.
"You've been having morning sickness, not the flu. Mizuka, you're going to be having a baby."
"No way. I can't be having his baby. I won't allow it."
(Rayne Says: Okay, this is the part where I broke off and redid the story. I'll be posting the original chapters someday. The story was very different than what it's going to be now. That's why I had writer's block! Um... back to the story!)
"Would you prefer an abortion?" Rei asks.
"No! I-I don't know what to do. I'm only fifteen!!"
"You're only fifteen?" Itachi asks.
"Yeah! I'm way too young to be pregnant."
"Then you have two options," Rei says, "have the baby or don't."
"Wait, you're not going to send me off to some unknown place where I can raise my baby in peace and forget this ever happened?"
"No."
"Why not?" I whine.
"We may be S-ranked criminals, but we're not heartless."
"I was counting on the fact that you were heartless criminals so you would let me go!"
"You would leave Deidara?" Itachi comments.
"I could take him with me. He doesn't like it here anyway."
"We would hunt you down and kill you- pregnant or not."
"So you are heartless!"
"I never said that," Rei excuses.
"Whatever. So I'm knocked up, now what?"
"Now you have to tell everyone else."
"Please just banish me!"
"Abortion is always an option."
"Even I know it's too late for that! You're just looking for an excuse to kill me!"
"And if I were?"
"Then you're a big, fat, meanie-head!"
…
…
"That was immature- even for you."
"So? You deserved it!"
"Did I?"
"Yes, you did!"
"And how did I come to be a "big, fat, meanie-head"?"
"You want to kill me!"
"So do half of the people in this building."
…
"Oh my god, you're right!"
"You just realized that?"
"I thought you guys cared!"
"We do care, at least for ourselves."
"That's selfish!"
"So?"
"Someday you'll get karma up your ass!"
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Karma up your ass."
"Can we please get back on subject again," Itachi interrupts.
"What were we talking about again?" I ask.
"You're pregnant."
"I am?"
"Yes."
"That sucks."
"And you have to tell everyone."
"I hate my life."
"I hate your life too," Itachi says dryly.
"That's it! I'm tired of your "I'm-so-powerful-so-every-chick-should-love-me-'cause-I'm-so-damn-hot" attitude! You are not all that and a bag of chips! Even you're little emo brother is better than you! And he has a damn revenge complex!"
"Are you done?"
"For now."
"Good, now go tell everyone that you're pregnant."
"But I don't wanna."
"Too bad."
"You can't make me," I say, sticking my tongue out.
"But I can. I order it, therefore it is," Rei commands.
"Aren't you feeling god-like today? Well let me tell you Mr. WannabeGod, you're not really God!"
"Itachi, take her away."
"No wait, gasp, I'll do it myself! Ain't that a novel idea?!" I say, walking out of the door and stomping down the hall. I walk into the living room and sit next to Deidara on the couch.
"What did Leader want, un?"
"Nothing at all."
"I don't think it was nothing, yeah."
"Well we're all entitled to our own thoughts and opinions, great job exercising that right."
"Your sarcasm isn't helping, yeah."
"It isn't supposed to be."
"Please, can you just tell me, un?"
"Nope."
"Come on, it'll be a secret, just between you and me?"
"Well-"
"SECRETS? TOBI LOVES SECRETS! TOBI IS A SUPER SECRET KEEPER! LIKE HOW HE PROMISED TO KEEP IT A SECRET ABOUT THAT ONE TIME KAKUZU AND HIDAN GOT SO DRUNK AND THEY STARTED MAKING OUT! TOBI'S A GOOD BOY! TOBI EVEN KNOWS VICTORIA'S SECRET AND-"
"Who's Victoria?" I ask.
"Beats me, yeah," Deidara replies.
"-ONE TIME TOBI WENT INTO A STORE AND IT WAS FILLED WITH UNDERWEAR AND LADY THINGS! TOBI FOUND A COOL HAT AND HE PUT IT ON AND IT LOOKED SUPER COOL! BUT THEN EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT TOBI! TURNED OUT TOBI WAS WEARING A THING CALLED A BRA! DOES MIZU WEAR A BRA? WHAT COLOR IS IT? CAN TOBI SEE? WHAT SIZE IS IT?"
"Tobi you pervert," I say, chucking a pillow at his head and knocking him out.
"I didn't know the little guy had it in him, yeah."
"Me either."
"Who would have thought, un?"
"Who would have thought what, fag?" Hidan says walking into the room.
"Tobi's a pervert," I answer.
"I didn't ask you, bitch. I asked the fag."
"What Mizuka said, yeah."
"You people are no fucking help. By the way, have you seen fucking Kakuzu? I can't find that bastard anywhere."
"Have you looked in the vaults?"
"Yeah."
"His room?"
"Yeah."
"Your room?"
"Why the hell would Kakuzu be in my fucking room?"
"To steal your stuff and put it on eBay."
"Oh fuck!" Hidan yells, running out of his room.
"Why didn't you just tell him that Kakuzu was in the kitchen, yeah?"
"It's more fun this way."
"Oh."
…Several moments later…
"Bitch, that bastard wasn't in my room. He was in the fucking kitchen!"
"Oops, my mistake."
"You did that on purpose!"
"No I didn't."
"Whatever, bitch."
Hidan sits down and starts viciously shining his scythe. Seconds later, Kisame comes in the room and joins Deidara and me on the couch. He strikes up a conversation- more like an argument- with Hidan. Kakuzu comes in and starts searching through the couch cushions for money. Zetsu phases out of the wall and reawakens Tobi to ask him why he was sleeping on the floor. Sasori comes in and silently stands in a corner, where Itachi shortly joins him.
I wonder what's going on?
"Oh yeah, what were you going to tell me earlier, un?" Deidara asks.
"Oh, um, I'm pregnant," I say.
"What? I can't hear you, yeah?"
"I'm pregnant!"
"What?!"
"I'M PREGNANT!" I yell.
…
The entire room goes silent.
"That didn't go as well as I planned," I say.
"You got knocked up? Who the fuck would knock you up?"
"I-I can't tell you."
"Orochimaru," Itachi says.
"What?"
"Orochimaru raped her. The information was not relevant until she became pregnant."
"Fuck."
"That's all you guys have to say?" I ask.
"What do you want us to say? We're sorry that you were raped and are now pregnant?" Kisame asks.
"Yes!"
"Okay then, I feel sorry for you."
"Thanks, Fish Stick."
Rayne Says: Okay, there's your update, did you like it? I'll try to update every Friday/Saturday, but that's not guarenteed.
Also: I'm holding a small competition. Tobi's extremely long rant about Victoria's Secret and Hidan and Kakuzu making out is the prompt. I would like a one chapter story about those if you can. Post them on your own account, but give me credit, please. Message me the URL and I'll read it. The one that makes me laugh or cry the most wins. Um... prize? I'll fave your story, review, and paste the code on my page. You'll also get comments at the beginning of a chapter of this story! Deadline is: 2/14/09 (yeah, I know romantic).
Also: I can't decide on the children. That's why I'm asking you readers for help! Should Mizuka have a
1) boy
2) girl
3) twins with either
a) both boys
b) both girls
c) one girl and one boy
Please help me! Much appreciated! Please review (or you'll get karma up your butt! Joking!)