March, 2018

Chapter 21: Moment of Truth

"The truth only hurts when you want to believe a lie."

― Jennifer McVey

She'd once heard that the Forest of Dean was a place where things were lost, or found, for the lucky few. Hazel supposed her luck must've run out as she looked around, the thick ring of trees appearing to block any remaining sunlight. What time was it? Everything happened so fast...Glancing at the spot where Kestis had just stood, she let out a slow breath.

The Aurors had left as quickly as they had arrived, arresting the gentle half-giant, who had given no resistance to their efforts. If she was honest, she wasn't even sure how to feel. She'd scarcely been able to process Kes's admittance of his involvement in the Order, of the group that openly opposed Ridgeway and his cause. How long had he been a member? To what degree? How could he have joined to begin with? There hadn't been time to ask anything before he was arrested. Not that she would even know what to say.

Hazel wanted to feel angry...and she supposed she did, to an extent. Kes had lied to her, had betrayed the man who had created their Sanctuary, the man who was supposed to officiate their wedding. He had known how much Ridgeway meant to her, and still…A soft pressure squeezed her shoulder, slipping down to her hand and turning her attention towards the wizard before her. Although he still held the cane, likely a force of habit, Mason Whitehall was standing straight as his lips lifted, "Are you alright?" With a small, unamused laugh, Hazel tightened her grip on his hand; this was why she couldn't truly be angry with Kestis. She'd lied...been lying...to him for months. She still hadn't told him about Mason, or who the baby's true father was. It would be hypocritical of her to be upset that Kes - a wizard who'd always distrusted Ridgeway - had joined a group against the man, especially after the revelation of Grindelwald's influence. Even so…The witch wished she could pretend the conflicting emotions were solely as a result of the pregnancy.

At her expression - she'd never been good at hiding her feelings, particularly when it came to him - Mason pulled her wordlessly into a tight hug. With no one to see the pair, Hazel let her head rest on his shoulder, an unconscious smile tugging at her lips. For a moment, she held the man tighter; the familiar rush of a shy joy, of guilt and worry, were almost reassuring. Chaos seemed to be normal, at this point. Ridgeway's speech….Cormac bleeding, dying...she hoped Cormac was okay, wherever he was, wherever Tim had taken him. And Kestis…

The pair remained silent as they finally pulled away, disappearing from the forest with a muted pop. The grey-eyed wizard remained with Hazel for most of the evening, claiming he needed to make sure she ate something. Maybe it was wrong for her to be happy, though it was hard to fully enjoy the meal or Mason's presence when the growing guilt had made itself home inside her.

As they settled onto the couch, Mason gave her a small smirk as he wordlessly lit the fire. Show-off. The witch was reminded of the night they'd kissed - that she'd kissed him, then so much more. Thankful for the heat of the flames that hid her blush, Hazel frowned as she glanced at the man beside her. That night, he'd been unable to stand for prolonged periods, let alone light the hearth. Had he…? Their eyes met, grey and brown, before the brunette abruptly straightened, turning to whack the wizard's arm sharply.

"Mason!" Hazel couldn't help but to grin at his surprised expression, "I can't believe you didn't tell me you received treatment! Pretending to be weaker until the right moment…Such a Slytherin move." Mason shifted from shock to relief, eyes sparkling with amusement at the remark. Leaning back into the couch beside her, the pale-haired man returned the grin as he responded, "I wanted to be able to hug you properly." Oh, Mason...Her angry facade melted - she hadn't been truly upset at him, though maybe she should've been...he'd been the one to arrest her fiance, and yet, here she was - and Mason moved to take her hand once more. Beside them, the fireplace provided a warm, comforting light as he continued, "I wanted to be able to play with our kid properly, and…" He hesitated, eyes dropping to their intertwined hands, "I don't know, I thought you might try to talk me out of it, knowing the costs."

Despite the weight of her ever-present guilt - or maybe it was the feeling of the baby inside her, the child of the man she'd cheated on her fiance with - the witch leaned forward to press her lips to his. Immediately responding, Mason pulled her closer, fingers curling through her hair. She didn't deserve either of these men, let alone this child. She - Another realization hit her, and Hazel reluctantly pulled away from the soft kiss. "What costs?" She asked, eyebrows furrowed as the wizard smiled sheepishly. Dropping his hand, Mason sighed and leaned into the cushions, gaze turning to the fire. Her eyes narrowed at his reaction, and was about to repeat her question when he finally spoke, "I'm the Head Auror in the Ministry, for...Ridgeway." What? The corner of his lips lifted, "I serve as a bodyguard for him. I'm sure they'll be more...responsibilities to come."

Worry flashed through her at the news, and Hazel squeezed his hand, "You may be right, I'm worried about what you'll be asked to do. Still," She paused, the guilt coiling and constricting around her stomach, before she reached to place a hand on his cheek. She was engaged to another man, pregnant with Mason's child, but still officially together, still engaged to Kestis. How could something so immoral feel right? There was definitely something wrong with her. "Still, you look healthier, and that makes me happy. I just wish there wasn't a cost, or that it'd been necessary to begin with." The smile slipped from his face as their eyes met, and she knew it wasn't the baby that caused the butterflies in her stomach.

"But I'll admit," She added shyly, pulling away to place her hands on her stomach, where a small bump had grown over time. Three months, to be exact. "The words 'our kid' has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Mason placed his hand over hers, over where their child grew. Three months old. What world would he be born into? What sort of parent would she even make? "It does," Mason smiled before leaning forwards to kiss the bump; some of the guilt eased at the sight, heart stuttering. Merlin, even if it was wrong, she really did love him. But Kestis...he didn't even know about Mason...It was time to start to be the parent their child deserved, to be better...to tell the truth.

"I'm going to tell him tonight, you know," She murmured softly, looking down at their joined hands across her stomach, "About us. About the baby." Mason was quiet for a moment, a quick smile flickering on his lips before his expression turned serious. If she hadn't known him as well, she wouldn't have noticed. Nodding, he looked up at Hazel, "Whatever you choose, I'm right here, beside you." Sweet Merlin, did he know what he did to her heart, when he said things like that? Briefly speechless, Hazel pressed her lips to his cheek, unable and unwilling to suppress the absolutely inappropriate joy. "Well," She nudged the man, trying to get her thoughts back in order, "I feel quite lucky, having you by my side." Especially when she didn't deserve it, any of this. Of him, of Kestis. "Although I'm not sure why you'd stick with a…" Something inside her ached, she didn't deserve this, she knew it all too well nowadays, "silly witch like me...Nevertheless, please be careful, Mason. This war seems to have lasted forever, yet barely begun. And we're right in the middle of it all."

The pale-haired wizard sighed, and for a second she thought she saw an almost haunted look on his face. It'd be difficult not to be haunted by everything that has happened...and maybe everything to come. Not all stories can have a happy ending, after all. Pushing down the panic, fear, worry at the thoughts, the reminders of the past - green light flashing, purple flames consuming her, white eyes boring into her very soul - Hazel tried to smile, to find the joy that she'd felt mere moments ago. To her relief, Mason only smiled, "We've got to hope we're doing the right thing...that Ridgeway is doing the right thing...And you bet you're lucky, because you keep me sane. As long as I've got you, I'll always come home." There it was. Even momentary, it was...nice. No matter what comes, she'll be grateful for this. "You'll always have that home with me," Hazel smiled in return, looking down at her - no, their - unborn baby, "So will our child."

When Kestis returned that night, Hazel was sitting alone on the couch, pumpkin juice in hand, staring at the fire. Mason had left not too long ago, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before whispering three words to her. She'd almost said it back, though found herself unable to at the reminder of what she had to do. Still, Mason had left with a smile. As the half-giant entered the house, the brunette tried to memorize the flames before her in an attempt to calm her nerves. Everything would be alright, maybe, probably...She just had to be honest, he deserved that much….Bloody hell she wished she could have firewhiskey. Turning in her seat, Hazel's eyes met the mismatched ones of her fiance. She really, really wished she could drink right now.

Kes had sat on the other end of the couch, quietly accepting the second cup she'd had waiting for him with a muted 'thanks'. He looked...tired, and Hazel couldn't help but worry for the man. She'd cheated, and had feelings, strong ones, for another wizard, but...she truly did care for Kestis, always had. They'd been friends since they met in the train compartment, and had dated since third year. She knew him to be a good person, even if he wasn't perfect...It's not like she had room to judge. He glanced over at her when she laughed at the thought; quickly turning red, she finally turned to her fiance, "Kes, what happened?"

He was quiet for a few minutes, with only the sound in the room the crackling flames that danced in front of them. Burning, writhing, nothing but - Hazel sighed, opening her mouth to speak as Kes straightened. His low, soft voice seemed to cut across the room, across the space between them, "I'm sorry, Hazel. That I didn't tell you sooner. I..I meant to." She found it difficult to swallow, let alone speak, before she nodded and slowly rose to sit closer. I'm the one that should be sorry. "And now?" Was all she could manage, eyes locking.

The couple stared at one another for a moment before he swallowed, looking down at his fiddling hands. He always would do that when he was nervous. That evening, Kes told her everything, from the time he joined the Order to the interrogation with Marcus Ridgeway himself - if she was honest, she was almost surprised he'd willingly given any information he had, even limited, up - and the Unbreakable Vow he'd made with the dark-haired professor, now Minister of Magic. For her, he'd vow to remain out of the war as long a hair on her head wasn't harmed, he'd done it for her...hadn't he?

When Hazel told Kes the truth, her truth, he was...silent. She had slept with Mason Whitehall on the night, as it turned out, Kes had first joined the Order. The baby was his. The room returned to its previous state, with only the flames making any noise. Her heart was thudding in her ears, hands practically white as her fingernails pierced the inside of her palms. Bloody hell, she'd never been more nervous...well, maybe not, but...Kes, please, "Say something, please. Kes..?" He refused to look up at her, his entire body tensed. It was almost...frightening, how quiet he was, how...still. It was difficult to breathe, but Hazel found she was able to after Kes finally spoke, "What are you going to do with it?"

He referred to the baby as 'it'...ouch. Not that she could blame him, but...Taking in a shaky breath, the witch risked a glance over to her fiance. Kestis was still watching the fireplace with an unwavering intensity, hands still in his lap. "I.." Hazel had to clear her throat to be able to speak, "I want to keep him...or her, I don't...I don't know yet." He stood abruptly, moving to pace in front of the fireplace. Hazel's heart leapt in her throat as he turned towards her, blue and brown eyes boring into hers. Bloody hell, she was nervous. "It...It was…" He appeared to struggle with his words as he returned to his pacing, one hand running through his hair. "I'm upset, of course. Very...upset. But…" Merlin, he was going to leave her...did she want that? She didn't know, but she wished she'd never hurt him to begin with. It was incredibly unnerving how quiet he was. He was definitely going to leave her...

His intense gaze moved to the pregnant witch as he stopped pacing, almost as abruptly as he'd started, "I hope it won't happen again." Wait, what? Hazel's eyes widened in shock as the half-giant continued, "I will, however, beat Mason up after this Vow is over." "You...what?" The woman could only stare in her own surprise, eyes wide at the unexpected response. "You...don't...you want to be with me, still? Even after knowing?" She barely managed to stammer out, fists relaxing in her lap, shoulders slumping in shock. His answering smile was...strained as he finally sat beside her. While he didn't take her hands, as he often did, the man had chosen to sit next to her. After everything she's done...He's staying…?

If she was honest, Hazel scarcely remembered the rest of the conversation. After she'd recovered from her surprise, Kes had clarified that yes, he didn't want to break up, and yes, he was very, very upset. Hazel was taken aback by how relieved she felt; no matter how she felt for Mason, Kes was, and would likely always be, an important person in her life. There was very much a part of her that still loved him, always would. She'd hesitated when he asked her to help him break the Vow he made with Ridgeway; it kept him safe and out of Ridgeway's plan, so why couldn't he just...keep it? However, Hazel knew Kestis enough to recognize that he'd likely try to break the Vow, with or without her. "I'm unable to defend myself if he decides to attack me, Hazel. Him, or any one of his…" He'd paused to glance at her reaction, "followers." That wasn't the original word he'd used, but she couldn't blame him, not after this. So, it'd been with a reluctant nod that she allowed him to cut a single strand of hair. The Vow had only said if a single hair on her head had been harmed...Kes would be free.

In the end, Kestis had decided to leave. After their conversation, he'd told her that he needed time...and space.She wasn't sure why she felt both relieved and upset at the notion. Maybe she could blame the pregnancy hormones...It'd nearly moved her to tears when Kestis had said he'd be willing to raise the child on his own, after he returned. If he returned, and what about Mason? Merlin, this was still confusing. Along with her numerous apologies - which she truly did mean, despite her feelings for the grey-eyed wizard - the witch had also admitted she still cared, very much, about Kestis. With the decision to stay the night, her somehow-still fiance slept on the couch; despite her insistence, he told Hazel that the baby needed the bed more than he did. She'd nearly smiled at his familiar stubborn nature before she was reminded of their situation. Right. Cheated on him, pregnant with Mason's child.

The following morning, Hazel had woken in tears at a particularly vicious nightmare. Memories, to be exact, that were jumbled together in a horrifying reminder of the torture and pain that'd occured thus far. Green eyes, purple flames, and a jet of red light hitting a smiling Kestis. Thankful that her fiance was downstairs - so far, she'd been successful in keeping her frequent nightmares from the others, Kes and Mason included - Hazel resisted the urge to take a calming potion. Hazel didn't realize how much she used them until she couldn't anymore. It'd been a wake-up call, and too close of a reminder of a certain Healer. Padding downstairs, the brunette felt nervous all over again. Would he still be there? Should she...say something? Would it be strange to make breakfast for them..? Merlin, what should she do now?

A knock on the door broke Hazel out of her worries; she tried to walk calmly down the stairs, but practically sprinted the rest of the way as she heard Kes's voice as he opened the door. Merlin, this was just what they needed. She'd known he was coming, but had nearly forgotten after her and Kes's surprising conversation. The woman reached the bottom step of the staircase as the six-foot half-giant swung his fist at the smaller wizard. She gasped as Mason easily ducked underneath before looking the man dead in the eye, a familiar sparkle in his eyes as he spoke, completely straight-faced, "So you know, then." In another situation, she might've laughed. Now, however, she rushed forwards as Kes yelled angrily, moving to attack the man who'd slept with his fiance.

With comparative ease, Mason pulled his wand from the cane to flip the half-giant upside down. Face turning red, Kestis struggled as he dangled in the air, futilely trying to reach the pale-haired man. He just couldn't help himself, could he? Still, it wasn't like she hadn't anticipated something similar. Feeling a strange mix of inappropriate amusement and guilt, Hazel shot a stern look at Mason as she approached. He smirked at the witch before turning his gaze back to Kestis, "And you broke your vow." The wizard paused, looking almost thoughtful as he added, "Or you're just stupid."

"Mason." Hazel called, frowning at the pale-haired man. Mason's eyes met hers briefly as he turned back towards Kes, twirling the man's wand in his hand, "As one last favor, I won't report you, even though you broke the Vow...I'll make sure she's safe." How had he known Kes was leaving? Hazel glanced at the door, almost hurt to find the pile of suitcases already there. Of course, she had no right to be upset. He'd taken the news well, all things considered. Although Mason isn't exactly helping the situation...In response, Kestis let out a low growl, "You stay away from her." Mason's smirk grew as he winked at Hazel - that cheeky little - and tilted his head at the suspended man before him, "I don't think I will. She's my friend, and she's carrying my child...I'm not going anywhere...mate."

Before Kestis could turn any redder - whether out of anger or being held upside down - Hazel crossed her arms to interrupt the bickering pair. Bloody men. "Mason, put him down." She paused, "Now." The witch felt a flicker of foreboding at the expression on Mason's face - he wouldn't - and Kestis fell to the ground with a resounding crash, almost landing headfirst. As the half-giant scrambled to his feet, Mason slipped his wand away. Quickly, Hazel stepped between the men as Mason called out, "I'm trying to be as nice as I can, Kestis. I've tried to help to the best of my ability."

Silent, Kestis only glared at the wizard, who much-too-casually glanced down at his watch, "I suppose I'll arrive in a half hour, then." He's giving Kestis time to leave, time to escape before Ridgeway finds out. Despite some of the man's...petty actions, Hazel felt grateful towards Mason. They were both good men...even if they'd never get along. As Kestis stalked past the pair without a word - she almost felt hurt that they didn't say goodbye - Hazel turned to watch her fiance leave….for good? He said it was temporary, but moving to America wasn't a minor decision.

Hazel turned to Mason with the intention of scolding him for baiting the wizard - it'd have been funny, had it been another situation, had it not involved someone getting hurt - but was interrupted by a loud thud. Behind them, Kestis had dropped his suitcase to charge at Mason's turned back. Before she could think about it, Hazel had cast a silent protego between the pair; their eyes met one last time, his disappointment and hurt shining, before Kes disapparated. Later, she'd learn that Mason had slipped Kestis a pocket watch that read "Home, Mortal Peril, and Work" with three hands. Hazel had resisted the urge to laugh when Mason mentioned that the third hand, aside from her and Kestis, was his own name. Cheeky bastard. Merlin, she loved him...she loved them both. What have you gotten yourself into, Hazel Cross?