June, 2018
Chapter 24: Twenty-Four Hours
"The mistakes I've made are dead to me. But I can't take back the things I never did."
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
She had twenty-four hours. Hazel stared at the waves that brushed against her toes as she sat, silently. Twenty-four hours before she traveled back in time, returned to her twelve-year-old body. Twenty-four hours before she left behind everything she ever knew and loved and lost. Twenty-four hours to say goodbye, to be honest and to lie. To steal from her beloved professor. To change the entire world as they knew it. As she watched the ocean recede, her fingers dug into the soft sand beneath her. Sitting on the beach, water soaking her shoes and skirt, the witch could almost feel the seconds tick away. Time would continue, without or without her.
Placing a hand on her stomach, she wondered if it was better to feel nothing at all...or everything at once. It'd been a fairly quick realization, all things considered. She couldn't raise a child in this increasingly violent world, and had already given her word to help. But it felt like she was the monster….In order to return to the past, to save multiple lives, Hazel Cross had to give up her unborn child. It wasn't fair, she wanted to cry out, to scream and yell. She would never get to hold her son, her baby. Tears trickled quietly down her face as she put her hands on the bump where her son was. She'd never even picked a name. It seemed cruel to give him one, now. It seemed cruel for her son to never have a name, to begin with. Five months wasn't enough time, though nothing would feel like enough for her. A watery smile broke across her face as the baby kicked her hand, body trembling with increasingly distraught sobs. Her son...she'd never get to be his mother. It wasn't fair.
She thought of Mason, and the silent excitement in his eyes when she'd told him the news. The fondness in his eyes as he kissed her stomach. The grin on his lips when their son had nudged his waiting hand. It wasn't fair. The muted sound of footsteps and cracked shells sounded behind her, and Hazel kept her eyes on the water as someone sat beside her. The couple remained silent for a long time, it felt like. Finally, the woman turned to her fiance, the man she never deserved. "You didn't have to come back out." She tried to ignore the crack in her voice, the sadness that weighed on her shoulders. "Of course I did." He murmured, facing the wizard had been kind enough to clean her up after she'd gotten sick, after they had made the Unbreakable Vow. Given time to arrange their matters in this timeline, everyone had gone off on their own. She needed to say goodbye.
Hazel glanced over at Kestis with a delicate and sad smile. She knew what she had to do. It was long overdue, in this case. "We've been through a lot, haven't we?" They both laughed softly at the understatement before the smile fell off her lips. "I'm sorry about cheating on you, Kestis. And for all the lies over the years, over the past few months. It's not fair and it's not right, never was." She sucked in a shuddering breath, watching bits of foam cling to her shoes. "We've both lied to each other, but it doesn't make any of it right. You deserve better, always have. Kestis," She turned to face him, placing her palm in the sand beside his, "We're not the same people that we fell in love with. We're...not good for each other, anymore. I think we knew this a long time ago." A humorless smile flickered on her lips.
His own voice cracked in the silence as he nodded slowly, murmuring, "I agree. Hazel, I -" He covered his face for a moment, his own shoulders shaking as the wizard slowly raised his head. "I met someone in America. I...I was vulnerable, hurt. I didn't mean to, I -" Before he could finish, the brunette placed a finger on his mouth, shaking her head. "It's okay, Kes." It was a sign that she didn't feel as much pain, or betrayal, as she should have. Only acceptance, resignation. Sadness. They'd been good, even great, together...once upon a time.
Gently, as he always had been to her, Hazel slowly lifted Kes's hand to place her ring in his palm. Placing her hand over his, she closed his fingers around the object that had symbolized what was left of their relationship. It wasn't fair to hold onto something that would only hurt him. "I…" She hesitated as silent tears ran trails down the half-giant's cheeks. I love you...but it wouldn't be fair. "I care about you, Kes, and I know I always will. But who knows what's going to happen next? I'm done with the lies and dishonesty. You deserve better, always have. I hope you can forgive me, one day."
"Hazel," The wizard she'd grown to know and love turned to face her, his free hand taking her own, "I already have." Fresh tears streamed down her face at the kind words, and the pair - a relationship, once broken and built on lies and mutual interests, supported by the pain of separation and betrayal - embraced each other. Not as a couple, or best friends-turned-something-more, but simply as two people connected by an unforgettable history and so much more.
After their tears had been wiped away, a slate wiped clean, Kestis nudged the witch gently with his shoulder. "What are you going to do with the rest of your time here?" Despite their resolution, Hazel felt almost nervous as she honestly replied, "I'm going to ask Mason to come with me...then…" She swallowed, struggling to let the words leave her mouth. They would become real if she said it outloud. "I'm going to give up my son." At the shocked expression on the wizard's face, Hazel moved to explain, heart aching, "T-there's a switching spell Cormac mentioned, that allows a willing participant to carry the child to term. If I go as I am now, I'll lose -" Her voice cracked again, covering her mouth as she trembled. She couldn't finish that sentence. Thankfully, Kestis understood enough to wrap an arm around her shoulder. The witch mourned her child, the end of their relationship, everything.
With a quiet sniffle, Hazel wiped her face. "Sorry about that." Kes shook his head, the corner of his lips lifting sadly, "Don't worry about it. But, Hazel," He shifted so he was facing her as another wave brushed against their legs, "I don't think you should go see Mason alone. Let me come with you." Wait...what? The confused witch blinked at the man beside her, temporarily speechless. "Wha-Why? Why would you want to come?" A half-smile crossed his lips as Kes shrugged, almost sheepishly, "I know you care about him, but I don't trust Mason. It's not a good idea to go alone, he's working for Ridgeway. Besides," The wizard looked back towards the cottage, "I'd rather be there to mediate the Vow or…" The smirk returned, "be the one to obliviate him." Despite the gravity of the situation, Hazel chuckled softly. He did have a point, at least at the beginning.
"I'm not so sure that's a good idea," Hazel replied with a knowing look before she conceded, smiling, "But maybe Tim can come along as a witness for the Vow." If Mason agrees. If he decides he wants to restart his life with her...It was almost eerie how Kes returned the knowing smile, commenting, "He'll go with you, with us. The man's already madly in love with you." Taken aback, Hazel wondered at the series of events that had led the pair to this moment. "Who are you and what have you done with Kestis Jackson?" She laughed as the man suddenly splashed her with the cold water, grinning. One down, one to go...21 hours left.
Tim easily agreed to accompany Hazel, and it'd been with a muted pop that they apparated into Mason Whitehall's flat. Staying at a muggle apartment in London, it was easy for Hazel to return to the familiar place. He'd even given her a key, at one point. Landing in the living room, she heard the click of the refrigerator door as Mason glanced into the room cautiously. At the sight of Hazel, he lowered his wand, though his expression quickly changed as Tim waved at the man.
Sighing, the grey-eyed wizard approached the pair, rubbing his forehead. "Hazel, I love you, but you're putting me in a difficult spot right now." Her lips twitched in amusement as Mason stretched his hand towards Tim with a dry smile, "It's nice to meet you. You must be Tim's...twin." She covered her smile as Tim shook his hand, grinning. "Nice to meet you." "Now," Mason's gaze turned back to her, "what brings you here?"
Hazel glanced at Tim, who nodded and moved towards the kitchen. Pulling Mason down on the couch beside her, she smiled nervously at the pale-haired wizard. In a soft voice, Hazel studied their hands as she told him about what had occured in the past day or so. About the plan to go back in time, about the Order...and about officially breaking things off with Kestis. At this, Mason's own lips had briefly lifted before the serious expression settled back on his face. His eyes almost glimmered as she told him about the plan with their son, about the spell to allow someone else to raise their child in a timeline that, soon, might not even exist. A few tears really did escape when he had ever-so-softly kissed the spot where their son had last kicked. It might break her, to give up her first and only son before he was even born. She'd made a Vow, however, and couldn't allow her child to grow up in a world where people turned their backs to those in need. Even if it killed her.
While she had expected silence, or at least some hesitation, Mason had only waited until she was finished speaking to squeeze their intertwined hands. Gently lifting her chin so their eyes would meet, Mason smiled fondly at the witch, voice soft with unnamed emotions as he spoke, "I told you I would always be beside you, and I meant it. You're my home, Hazel Cross." She blinked away yet another wave of tears - Merlin, she had cried too much in the past two days - she pulled the wizard towards her in a passionate kiss. She really did love him. After a few moments, Tim returned to the room to witness the Unbreakable Vow between the couple. Not that she needed the confirmation, but if it would help the Order, to allow Mason to come with her, so be it.
As she prepared to leave - 19 hours left - Mason grabbed her hand, concern written across his features, "Let me come with you. You don't have to do this alone." He wasn't just talking about stealing the lantern...She forced a smile on her lips, though she doubted it would do much to assuage his worries. "I do, but I'll see you soon." With a quick kiss, Hazel held her arm out to her friend, "Love you, Whitehall." The smiling wizard and his flat disappeared as the world twisted around them.