The next morning is jolting.
Steve is awake within seconds, needing to take a few moments to recall where he is and why he woke up suddenly nervous. His heart calms when he recognizes the familiar items of his bedroom, allowing him the first remnants of peace and quiet in a long time. However, the moment is fleeting when the events of last night come flooding back to his consciousness.
The captain is up and on his feet in seconds, rushing out of his room towards the guest room. Before Steve is able to compute why he's even heading towards the guest room, he finds himself skidding to a halt in front of the guest room's open door, staring at the still made bed as if it was never touched. Stricken with panic (and with the possibility of something worse), Steve hurries to the living room where he spots Nukoni sitting on the same couch he found her on the night before.
She doesn't seem to notice him, or at least Steve assumes she hasn't since she makes no move to acknowledge his presence. She seems lost in her own world, gazing out of the window with empty eyes. Steve had seen this look on her last night as well, and wonders whether she's prone to such episodes a lot.
Steve moves further into the living room, slowing his steps to mimic something more casual, as if he wasn't watching Nukoni from the shadows. He makes his foot steps deliberately heavy, hoping that Nukoni's awareness is lurking close enough to the surface that she'll hear him. He's immediately proven correct when Nukoni's head sharply swivels towards him, a startled look on her face.
"Good morning. I see the guest room was untouched", says Steve.
He notices the slight tension in her shoulders increase before a tentative smile graces her face.
"Nothing gets by you, does it?"
"That's not entirely true, considering you got into my house without me knowing."
His tone is lighthearted, confident that Nukoni is not an immediate threat given she had ample opportunity to take him out (i.e. when asleep), which is why he feels slightly guilty at the sheepish look that crosses her face.
"Yea, about that. I'm sorry. Really, I am. I don't suppose you would have invited me in if I had just knocked, right?" Her face is less tense now and her shoulders not quite hunched.
Steve figures that a good night's rest has done them both wonders, allowing them to feel more comfortable in each other's presence.
"Well if you were gonna show up with all your weapons still attached, probably not." He flashes her a wry smile as he makes his way to the kitchen. She lets out small laugh as she adjusts her position to face him. Steve sets about to prepare breakfast, likely something simple and easy. He doesn't want to lose the chance to get proper answers.
"Don't think I didn't notice you dodge my question, by the way", he continues. "You could have used the guest room, it wasn't a trap."
"I know." Nukoni pauses, seemingly hesitant with her words. "It's not that I don't appreciate your hospitality, which by the way, thank you so much for not killing me with that coat rack when you had the chance. It's just that...sleep would not have come regardless and it seemed wasteful to ruin perfectly clean sheets."
Nukoni regards him with soft eyes, seeming genuine in her gratitude. Some of last night's snark has returned to this wistful, morning version of Nukoni and hearing it reminds him of a certain someone once more.
He's really taken aback by the constant reminders of Tony all of a sudden. Why is she reminding him so much of Tony?
The captain pulls himself back to the present, focusing on setting plates and silverware on the counter in its appropriate place. He looks over to Nukoni, inviting her over to start eating breakfast.
"Well, for what it's worth, I can understand. Sleep is a luxury in our line of work."
"You mean in your line of work. Sleep evades me because I've done bad things. Sleeps evades you because you've got a job to do. There's a difference."
The two of them are seated at the kitchen counter across from each other, with Steve eating his breakfast while Nukoni picks at hers. The whole situation feels strangely domestic and Steve wonders if this is something he could have had in another life. Nukoni, on the other hand, regards her food with disinterest, like she's ready to leave at the first sign of resistance.
"Right, which reminds me. What kind of bad things, exactly? You mentioned being S.H.I.E.L.D.'s property last night. Care to explain?" Steve asks
"It means exactly what it sounds like. I belong to S.H.I.E.L.D. At least I did before I stupidly ran off."
That last part is uttered quietly and to herself, though Steve hears it loud and clear.
"And belonging to S.H.I.E.L.D. means?"
Nukoni regards Steve with an exasperated sigh, leaning back to cross her arms.
"You ask too many questions, you know that?"
Steve shrugs and smiles at her with casual ease, quirking an eyebrow urging her to continue.
She sighs before continuing, "I'm...not a person. Well that's not true, I am a person, just not one with many rights, freedoms, or individual authority. I'm the product of a bad idea come to fruition at the expense of many innocent lives, only kept alive to serve political agendas and personal gain. If that sounds like HYDRA to you, then you'd be right, except you would also be very wrong."
Steve looks into her eyes. Their gaze, though intense and unwavering, is not as hostile as it was the night before.
"And why would I be wrong?"
"Because while HYDRA is guilty of all of those things, S.H.I.E.L.D. is too. Arguably to the same degree, if not more."
The captain ponders this for a moment. He considers whether HYDRA has secret human projects as well.
"So what you're saying is is that you're S.H.I.E.L.D.'s...secret project? And that they've been utilizing you in some unknown capacity to mediate their political relations and missions? That doesn't sound as bad as I thought it would be."
Nukoni scoffs, looking down at her food once more.
"That's because I've only told you half-truths. If I were to spill all my secrets in one sitting, you wouldn't trust a single person or object ever again."
A pause hangs in the air.
"Alright, I guess that's fair."
The two of them continue to eat in silence as Steve considers the implication of her words. There has to be some greater meaning to all of this. Why would some secret pet project of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s seek him out exclusively? Does she have anything to do with their defection? And for what purpose?
"Listen, I know you might not want to tell me but can I ask what S.H.I.E.L.D. had you do for them? I guess I'm just struggling to understand why they would keep you a secret. I mean, I work fo-well, worked for, S.H.I.E.L.D. too and a lot of what I do falls in a pretty large gray area. What you're describing sounds kind of similar to me."
He might have imagined it but Steve doesn't miss the flash of fear on Nukoni's face.
"Well, largely I've been used for 'persuasion', if you catch my drift. Using power and fear to influence those that dare to disagree. If that didn't work, I would have to shove a couple of knives through a few ribs, you know, to make a 'point'."
The sarcasm is not lost on Steve.
"It's amazing just how many people would risk getting stabbed than surrendering defeat. I won't lie, some of them deserved it. They were horrible people with gross intentions and were guilty of crimes you thought only imaginable. But when you're young, innocent and naive with hopes for only good things to happen, even killing 'bad' people weighs heavily on your conscience."
"I would imagine so, but I still don't understand something. Why keep you a secret? What you did for them sounds no different than what I do for S.H.I.E.L.D. Recon, persuasion, political mediation. What was so different about you?"
Unlike the past forty minutes, Nukoni actually meets Steve line of sight, staring at him intensely with a calculated look. He considers the possibility of danger but pushes that thought aside, focusing on the present. He stares back, hoping that to convey a look of openness and acceptance, that she may be honest with him.
"Remember when I said that I'm not a person? I was being half serious."
"Half serious?"
"Yes. In that it's a partial truth. I am a person, a human but not entirely. I'm only half human, the other half belonging to a mythical tribe of spiritual beings that perished a long time ago. I'm the only surviving member, or so I've been told, and that the only reason I'm even half human is because of S.H.I.E.L.D. My ancestry, so to speak, are not typically human, by which I mean not at all. They used to be a kind of spirit, hidden from the world of humans and operating as protectors for the Earth. They no longer exist and I actually don't know why. My ties to them are purely spiritual and I have no knowledge of or sentimental connection to them. The only thing that connects me to them are my abilities, my spiritual powers that allow me to be a force among humans. If I wasn't human at all, I might have had some leverage over S.H.I.E.L.D. and we wouldn't be having this conversation but as it turns out, the part of me that's human has doomed me to misery.
In other words, I'm an experimental tool and for the longest time, S.H.I.E.L.D. was uncertain as to whether I would serve better as a weapon or a peacekeeper, i.e. a "hero". But with the defection of S.H.I.E.L.D. under HYDRA, that decision was made out of their hands."
Steve regards Nukoni in silence, absorbing her words slowly and being careful so as to not react with anything that might set her off. He supposes that some of his questions have been answered, that it makes sense why safekeeping organizations like S.H.I.E.L.D. might want to keep this type of thing secret. He only wonders how many secrets of this caliber exist or if Nukoni's the only one.
"I know it's a lot to take in and probably doesn't even make a lot of sense to you right now. I can tell you all you need to know, within reason, as your questions arise, but I want to make one thing clear", she says.
"Go on", he replies.
"I'm not dangerous. I swear. I'm not a threat to global security or whatever else the WSC will likely conjure up to justify locking me back in that hellhole, but I'm not dangerous. I'm not out for blood, I don't want violence or revenge or payback even though I'd totally be justified in pursuing it."
"Then what do you want?"
A moment of silence follows as the two of them regard each other. After a minute she replies,
"Freedom."