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Everything was black. Somewhere people made a fuss which annoyed him. They were talking, shouting and he could hear them running around. Unfortunately, he could not understand what they were saying or sometimes shouting. What was going on and why could these people not be a little bit quieter? Why were they in his room anyway? He tried to open his eyes. They should leave his room! What if they wanted to harm him? Of course, if they really wanted to hurt him, they had done so already, but that was a thought which did not cross his mind. What did cross his mind was the thought that his body did not respond to his orders. Panic started to raise inside of him. Hakuyuu did not understand what was going on or what was wrong with himself. Where was he? Was he at home or still on a campaign with his father? So many questions without an answer. And there were even more questions. Questions he did not thought or dared to think of.

Suddenly, his surroundings turned silent. Not completely, since a few people were still whispering with each other. But better than nothing!
His panic and fear on the other hand did not disappear or got less. He still tried to open his eyes, but failed. His body also still refused to move. Even so he was able to feel. He could feel the bed beneath him, the blanket and the warm hand that took his. The warmth he felt made him realize how cold he himself was.
"Hakuyuu, can you hear me?"
Yes!
Yes, he could hear his father, he just couldn't respond to him. Not with words and not with actions. Hakuyuu became sad and angry. The panic, on the other hand, became less. When his father was at his side he was at a safe place, wasn't he? Everything would be fine, right?

Something wet was put on his face. Maybe a washcloth. It felt like one. The water was really helpful and felt good. Slowly, very slowly, he started to open his eyes. The light in the room he was in wasn't bright and still his eyes did not like the brightness. It was too much for them. So he closed them again only to reopen them. It took him awhile until he was able to keep them open.
More importantly, how long had he been asleep? Probably for too long. His body felt so stiff.
"Hakuyuu, how are you? Can you hear me? Can you see me?"
His father sounded so worried. An unfamiliar sound. Usually his father did not let his feelings show. It would make him vulnerable. As a ruler he had to appear strong before his people and even stronger before his enemies. On the other hand showing emotions was something a man, a warrior of the imperial Ren family did not do anyway. His father had taught him not to cry, not to be a wimp, not to show his feelings. He taught him to be strong, to be a man, to be a warrior, to be someone that never let his emotion gets the best of him. Hakuyuu tried his best to be like his father wanted him to be so he would be a good ruler as him one day.

"Hakuyuu! Hakuyuu!"
Someone called his name and Hakuyuu was sure that it was not his father. The person who called him sounded too desperate and the voice was too high. It was probably his mother who stroke through his hair and placed a kiss on his forehead, while calling his name over and over again. How embarrassing! Of course, he could understand that she was happy that he was more or less fine and woke up – his eyes were open, but his view was all blurry – but he was an adult and did not need his mother to treat him like a child. What should the soldiers and servants think of him when they saw his mother treating him like that? They would laugh about him! If he could talk, he would tell her to stop, but no word left his moth. Only a strange sound was heard.
Great, more embarrassment! Hopefully not too many people were around at the moment. The present of his parents was enough! Unfortunately, Hakuyuu was not a lucky man – at least not now. Besides his father and his mother a doctor with a few nurses and his younger brother Hakuren were present as well. Two soldiers were standing outside of the room and made sure that no one who was not permitted was entering the room. Hakuren was sitting on a chair at the end of Hakuyuu's bed. He had entered together with his father, but he had not spoken until now. He did not know what to say. Like his parents he was happy that Hakuryuu was fine again. They all had feared that Hakuyuu would die. The physicians had worked day and night for the past month to find out what was wrong with the crown prince and how to help him. They could not find any poison, wounds or any other sign that his body was harmed in anyway. The prince just did not wake up and his body was cold as ice.
Never in his life had Hakuren hold a hand as cold as his brother's hand. A scary experience.

He had been with his father when a soldier told them about Hakuyuu's condition suddenly getting better. Just the other day the head physician had told them that they were unable to find out what was wrong with the crown prince and therefore also didn't know how to help him, how to cure him. When the emperor asked what this meant for his son the other man had looked at the ground and answered so quietly that it was hard to hear his words. Death. It meant death for the crown prince. Hakuren knew that his father was only pretending to be clam when he heard those words. Everyone knew. He didn't say anything and left his father alone. Both of them needed time for themselves back then.

Hakuren had already lost a brother. Losing another one was something he was too much. His mother would not survive another lose as well. When is younger brother had been taken away Hakuren had blamed himself. He hadn't been able to save his younger brother and no one knew what had happened to him. Was he alive? Was he dead? Who was the culprit? Many unanswered question even after so many years.
Losing yet another brother was too much. Yes, Hakuren knew there was nothing he could have done or could do for Hakuyuu, still his own helplessness, his uselessness made him feel guilty, angry, hopeless and so many other things. As the second son of the emperor his duty was to become an advisor for the future emperor. How should he fulfill his duty if there were no emperor? He did not want that title. It belonged to Hakuyuu and no one else! Hakuyuu was the only one fitting for the throne!
Hakuren had decided to refine his sword skills and therewith distract himself from the thought of what may happen with his brother in the near future. He wanted to hold on to the hope of Hakuyuu's survival. Everyone had hold onto this hope.

Understandably, the news of Hakuyuu getting better and probably waking up were a relief. Again Hakuren had been with his father that time and never in his life before had he seen his father running so fast. No one in the palace had ever seen the emperor running through the hallway like a madman before. Yet it was understandable. Hakuren had followed right behind his father. When he entered the room his brother was in he felt helpless at first. What should he do or say? Should he even do or say anything at all? Why was his brother so silent? Didn't the soldier say that he was about to wake up? That his brother had mad some noises that sounded as if he was trying to talk? Why was he silent now? Maybe they had their hopes up for nothing. Maybe he should just sit down and accept that his brother was about to die. The noises that the doctors and nurses had heard were probably just his brother's last tries to fight death, but he probably wasn't strong enough to win.
Seeing his father so desperately trying to make his son respond to him was heartbreaking. Therefore, Hakuren decided to look at his feet. He shouldn't have come.

There were no words to descript his happiness when his brother unexpectedly really opened his eyes and later even tried to say something.

At that moment everyone thought that things would get better from now on, but life was a bitch and had other plans.

Reviews/Comments would be very much appreciated.