~Chapter 5~

In just a few months' time, things had gone downhill. So downhill that the hill was so steep that it might as well be considered a free fall. I had no idea how much it had worsened. All I knew was that I had run away from home when I felt too uncomfortable that my parents could find out about me. I had managed to evade the police...somehow...and live on my own. I found some old abandoned house. It was little and quaint and I loved it. I loved it because it provided me with shelter and I loved it because no one would find me here. The only downside was its location. It was almost smack in the center of an older part of town that had a reputation as "dangerous". I didn't find it dangerous, just unkempt. It was true that there were gangs and thugs wandering the streets, but I hadn't heard a gunshot yet, and I hadn't even seen a gun. I assumed they just wanted to look tough.

But it was officially safe to say that things had gone from bad to better. I had all but forgotten about Darien, thanks to my new friends. My "house" was near a bar, which is where I usually hung out. And if you're wondering, yes, I did drink. And the next morning, yes, I did wake up with one heck of a hangover. So why did I keep doing it? I found this new life exciting and new and distracting, and to be perfectly honest, somewhat fun. I didn't have to attend school anymore and I didn't have to worry about my parents or my old friends or even Luna! I could still smoke, but this time without anyone caring, and I could drink as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted, and wherever I wanted. I never even had to pay since Summer always paid for me.

Summer was awesome! She let me stay at her place and made good money by dealing drugs. So in that sense, I could grab a bag of crack if I wanted and she wouldn't mind at all. I wasn't at the drug point though. I never asked her for drugs of any kind. But when I wanted a drink or a cigarette, Summer was always there for me.

I had another friend named Paula, but she hated her name and changed it. Now everyone called her Betch because she wanted to sound tough and sassy. I never saw her at night because she worked at a strip club. She didn't make as much money as Summer, but she still made a healthy amount. Betch always joined us for a drink at lunch.

And lastly, there was my only male friend, Kent. I was pretty sure he had a thing for Summer, but I really didn't care. So long as I had a beer in my hand and a cigarette in my mouth, I was fine with whatever they did.

I know it sounds bad, but it really wasn't. I could live a carefree life here. No parents to tell me what to do, no Rei or Luna making snide remarks at me, no responsibilities as a Sailor Scout, no more communicator constantly beeping... You get the point. I could live like I wanted to here. I had power over my life now. Darien was still on my mind, but once I got drunk he disappeared. I didn't have to hide my smoking and cutting. Those wristbands hadn't been worn in quite some time. In fact, I didn't even know why I kept them.

I smiled as Summer continued on about her newest drawing. Yeah, I didn't understand how a dealer could be into art. It really fascinated her, so much that she was trying to become an artist. But she was already content with her current job, so she didn't know what to do. Making famous paintings was harder than it looked, she always said. She also couldn't get motivated enough to create her masterpieces. So I was her inspiration. Sometimes she drew portraits of me, for reasons I'll never know, and sometimes she asked me to point out a random object because she couldn't choose which object to draw first. Or second. Or third. She aspired to become an excellent artist. She always found flaws in her artwork though. It was never good enough for her and she told me that if she kept drawing and kept practicing, she would become famous one day.

In spite of the flaws I couldn't see, I always told her she had done a good job. She thanked me but I knew she never believed me. I thought her works were really good though. I was telling her the truth.

And finally she asked the one question I should've seen coming. "Serena, what should I draw next? It has to be something really complicated though. It has to challenge me."

I scanned the bar we were at. I'd already told her to draw pretty much everything in here. But if it had to be complicated... Let's see, complicated things...complicated things... There was a design on the back wall, but that was someone else's work. Summer would hate it if I told her to draw that. Maybe by complicated, she meant something intricate...or, I don't know. Something, I guess.

"Well, I had a dream about an evil rabbit terrorizing a city awhile back. Why don't you use your imagination and draw that?" I suggested, shrugging my shoulders.

"Artists don't use their imaginations! They have people to do that for them. Pick something else," she commanded.

Augh...I hated when she got all passionate about this crap. It was just art, why was she so into that? Oh well. Um... If I couldn't use my dreams, maybe I could use...uh...something else? Why did I have to be her victim anyway? She was so weird. Okay then, what was something other than an evil rabbit that she would use?

I chose the first random thing that came to my mind. "Draw one of those wedding chapels. Oh, or maybe a grapevine. They're both elegant, so they should both be hard to draw."

She seemed to mull over it, probably trying to choose which one to draw. She tapped her finger on the bar, right beside her glass, and got this Summer expression on her face. She looked like she was confused, and if I didn't know her I would think she was. It was really just her thinking face.

"Okay," she said at last. "I think I'll do the wedding chapel, just because it's a building. I figure a building would be harder than a plant."

"Hey, that plant makes amazing wine you know."

She shrugged and grabbed her cup. She swirled the cup and watched as the ice moved and clattered as they crashed into one another. "Guess that's true. I can't talk smack about wine."

"Not in front of me, you can't."

She chuckled and held the rim of the glass to her lips.

You would imagine a drug dealer as this big, burly, tough man. She wasn't big or burly or a man. She was tough, however, when she wanted to be. But her job had a deceptive nature. With her personality, all happy and cute, kind of like fake Serena, you'd never guess how she made a living. You would probably think something like a waitress or an office assistant or a pediatric nurse. Nope, she was a drug dealer. Although at one point she had been a babysitter, then moved on to a waitress, and then got sick of not making enough money. Finally, after quitting her waitress job, she made a career from selling drugs.

I was fine with her job. She never tried to pressure me into buying from her. She never pressured anyone, actually. Not even her customers.

"Hey, Serena, Summer. You guys smashed yet?" a familiar voice teased right behind us.

"Hi, Kent," Summer greeted with her little Summer-smile.

He laughed and took a seat in the stool next to mine. "What about you?"

I took a drink from Summer's cup and answered, "Will be by tonight."

We stayed quiet as Kent ordered a Bud Light from the bartender. As the bartender prepared his drink, he looked at us.

"So, Serena..." He paused. I could tell he was wondering something about me, and there was no doubt that he was trying to muster the courage to ask me about whatever it was. "I know you don't really like to talk about this stuff, but, um..."

I lighted a cigarette and perked an eyebrow. There were lots of things I didn't like to talk about.

He cleared his throat and smiled nervously. "What made you start...you know..."

I shifted the cigarette to the other side of my mouth and waited for him to finish.

"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but why did you start drinking and smoking?" he asked.

I started staring off into the distance as I thought about it. Hm... He was right, I didn't like to talk about this stuff. I came here hoping to leave behind my past. It was never my intention to have to explain it to Kent or Summer or even Betch. It really wasn't their business. I could understand their curiosity, but I wish he hadn't asked me. Why had I started? Pain. That was the most truthful answer anyone could ever hope to get. Just...pain. Flashbacks of Darien slamming his door in my face as I begged him to listen to me flooded my mind. And then the girls when they learned I had started smoking. And then Luna, of course. She had probably told Artemis already. And it would be too easy to see them searching for me, just like the police had. I hope they didn't forget that I had been a Sailor Scout too. While they could hide in the background, I could hide in plain sight. Want to know how I tricked the police dogs? I simply transformed into Sailor Moon. When the dogs sniffed me out, the police were baffled. They soon apologized for the misunderstanding and returned to the station.

I had once been the leader of the Scouts. I had once been fake Serena to please everyone else. I had been hurt when the supposed "love of my life" broke my heart. I had been replaced by the pinkette who was supposed to be our future daughter. I had started cutting. I had hidden my scars from the world. I had started smoking. The girls and my cat, and probably Mina's cat now, had freaked when they learned about it. I had run away...because...I hated my old life. Yeah, that's right. I said it. I was tired of being a Sailor Scout and the Moon Princess. I was tired of the Negaverse and all its crap. I was tired of fake Serena. I was tired of being me.

So I fled. And I ended up here.

I took the cigarette from my mouth and blew a puff of smoke in Kent's face. He swished his hand, trying to slap away the gray cloud. But the smoke just hung there, unwilling to move away.

"What the heck was that for?" he grumbled.

I merely turned to the bartender and asked for another beer. Mine was gone, and Summer probably didn't want me taking some more of hers. I would drink as much as possible until I woke to a hangover. Then my past would be erased, at least for a moment or two. The guilt of leaving my family and friends was a hard thing to bear. And as much as I wanted to leave it all behind me, I would continue to feel remorse for my actions. Even now, as I drank myself in to a daze, ordering one drink after another, trying to get smashed before tonight instead of by tonight...I felt Darien. I wanted to hate him for what he'd put me through, but somehow I didn't have it in me. How was it fair that I was still hurting because of him, yet I couldn't hate him for that? Seriously!

As I drained what had to be my third or fourth beer, I felt weird. Thank God. I thought it would never come. See, getting drunk involves a few stages... Stage one: start feeling weird. Stage two: start getting lightheaded. Stage three: start getting all happy and excited. Stage four: you don't know what you're doing or why you're doing it. Stage five: pass out.

I was about to pick up my fifth...was it fifth yet? Oh well, I'll just say fifth. I was about to pick up my fifth glass when a hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me back. I looked to see Summer's worried face.

"Serena, you've never drank this many beers in this little time before... Is something wrong?" she asked sweetly.

"I thought I'd break my drinking record," I lied.

And naturally, she would catch onto the lie. Somehow that girl knew when someone was lying or not. "What's bothering you, sweetheart?"

I grunted and yanked my hand back. "Nothing."

"Serena...?" she coaxed.

I noticed Kent was just as eager to know, which was saying something since he was usually oblivious to anything but what he was interested in.

"Okay, I came here for a bunch of reasons. I started drinking and smoking for those same reasons. Doesn't matter anymore though. It's all in the past," I told them.

Before another word could be said, I grabbed my fifth beer and began chugging it down. Then I had another beer after that, then another after that, and then another one, and then one more after that. By then I was in between stages three and four of getting drunk. All I really remember was laughing hysterically at...well, I'm not quite sure.

When I finally came to, it was to a throbbing headache. I must've gone overboard after I'd gotten drunk. Ow...my poor head... I reluctantly opened my eyes to find the bar's ceiling above me. So I was still in the bar. I hadn't run off to do something totally stupid. That was good at least... I had to be in the same bar. I didn't slip away to another one. There was no doubt that Kent and Summer, maybe even Betch, were still here. I usually did some pretty crazy stuff when I got drunk.

I propped myself up on my elbows. I found out I was on a table. I didn't know why, and I probably didn't want to know why. "What happened?"

As I suspected, Summer and Kent were still there. I didn't see Betch anywhere. I held my head and let Summer put a damp cloth on it.

"Man," Kent laughed, "you do some crazy shit when you're drunk!"

"Huh?"

Kent was too busy laughing to answer, so Summer filled me in. "Well, at first we thought you weren't drunk yet...but... Uh, when we saw you flirting with a woman who had walked in the bar, we kind of knew."

"I flirted with a girl?"

Summer nodded. "Sure did. We had to pull you away. You also threw up in a mop bucket. You thought you were in the bathroom."

"Shit..." I mumbled. With the pain in my head right now, I didn't care if I cursed.

Kent suddenly butted in, saying, "Yeah, and then you started telling all these messed up stories about yourself!" He returned to laughing for a little bit.

I jerked myself up until I was standing. Granted, I was a little wobbly on my feet, but to tell stories about myself? What if something I said had been true? "I did? What did I say?"

Summer snorted. "You kept telling us you were Sailor Moon."

My face paled and I tried to conjure up a smile. "Oh, that's pretty crazy."

"That isn't the worst of it," Kent added. "You also kept saying something about the 'Moon Princess'. Man, that was hilarious! You have to get drunk again sometime!"

"You should've seen how red your face was. It was like watching a strawberry with arms and legs!" Summer laughed.

Even though I'd probably told them all about me and the Scouts, and probably my history with them, they didn't believe me. So I had told them the truth, but thankfully I never carried my brooch with me. Therefore, even if I had tried, I couldn't have transformed in front of them to give them any proof. And I really didn't need to worry. I mean really, Sailor Moon? Probably best to seal the deal though, just in case. You know, better safe than sorry and all that junk.

"Wish I was Sailor Moon," I mumbled playfully.

"Yeah, well Sailor Moon doesn't go around getting drunk every day. She also doesn't smoke." Kent picked up my half-finished cigarette from the counter so he could show me the evidence.

How ironic was it that he was both right and wrong... Technically, I was still Sailor Moon whether I wanted to be or not. But technically I'd resigned that title. So, yes, Serena and Sailor Moon got drunk and smoked. The old Serena and the old Sailor Moon never did that stuff. That was because the old Serena and the old Sailor Moon were gone. Forever. Rei, Lita, Amy, and Mina...Sailor Venus, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Mercury, and Sailor Mars...they would have to find their way without me now. As for Tuxedo Mask...he had one less person to protect.

Anyway, there was no point in remembering them. None of it was my problem anymore. Sure, we'd had some good times, along with the rough ones, but they had only had fun with fake Serena. Real Serena finally had a chance to take charge of her life, and she did.

I stretched, hoping it would help the headache go away. I'd had worse hangovers before. This wasn't all that bad compared to some of the others.

"Geez, Serena, you're going to drink yourself into a coma one of these days," Summer teased.

I pretended like I was drinking another beer. "Chug chug."

A/N

Not necessarily going overboard. In several ways, I'm telling the life of someone I know. Except they weren't Sailor Moon. But this is pretty much what happened with them.