The splash could be heard an acre away, and that is about how far off their landing was. At least, Harry thought, it was Ron that landed up to his arse in muddy bog water.
The terrier Patronus that Harry knew all too well shot in his direction. "Harry, help!" came out of the dog's mouth in Ron's voice. "I can't move. I am stuck on and in something. This sludge… bloody hell is disgusting. It is in places that mud should never go."
Harry doubled over in laughter, making a mental note to borrow a Pensive and show the girls afterward. Both Ginny and Hermione would appreciate the comedy that seeing Ron like this would give them.
Harry sent a Patronus to Robards, the head of the Auror Department, informing them that they would have to send a second team and to double-check the Portkey. This one completely malfunctioned, sending them to a bog unknown.
Yeah, Robards would like to see the memory too. Probably all of the department would. Next time that Ron got on either Ginny or Hermione's last nerve, he'll show the whole office, Harry made a mental note. Gonna need to talk to Kingsley about using the Pensive that the Wizengamont uses. Harry tried to restrain his bubbling laughter as he sent a second Patronus Ron's way. "Ron, what do you need from me? I mean you have a wand, and apparently can use it, so what? If I try to levitate you from my position here, who knows what will happen. I could Accio you, but if you're stuck under something, that could hurt you. Any suggestions?"
"Call Hermione," was the terrier's terse response shortly thereafter. Then a pause where the dog-like whisp looked in contemplation. "Nevermind. I don't need her seeing me stuck like this. She'll enjoy it too much. Send her a message, something vague, that she might give us an idea or two on how to unstick me. And hurry! It is slimy. I'll never get this slime out from-"
Harry tuned out before he could learn too much about where the sludgy slime ended.
Harry found a smooth rock large enough to sit and sent the request off. Now, just sit back and wait for reinforcements and Hermione's brain to kick into gear.
Back at the Ministry of Magic, two stag Patronuses wander the halls, looking for their intended recipients. Luckily for the recipients, and unluckily for Ron Weasley, they both were in an inter-departmental meeting with the Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt.
Upon hearing the message intended for him, Gawain Robards cracked an unused smile at the antics of his bumbling wayward Auror.
Hermione Granger, on the other hand, was deep in thought on how to extricate, what it appeared to be, her boyfriend if the Patronus that Robards received is any indication. With her brain in overdrive, Kingsley chortled at the scene before him. He was very aware of the misguided actions of Ronald Weasley, they remind him all too well of another former Auror - Nymphadora Tonks. Kingsley quickly offered any and all support, including the use of any of the Ministry's Pensieves if either of the two needs them.
At the other end of the long conference room table, somewhat hidden in the shadows, laid the instigator. Percy Weasley, soon to be outgoing Department Head for the Department of Magical Transportation, remained stoic while internally laughing to near hysterics. No one, not even any of his family members, would be able to recognize the twinkle in his blue eyes for what it was - revenge.
This all began two years prior, at Percy's stag party, where Ron decided that the usually statuesque Percy needed to 'lighten up and relax'. So, being the somewhat unthinking little brother, and with the assistance of the other troublesome little brother, Percy was slipped a previously untested potion.
The night was a nightmare, to say the least. The untested potion gave Percy's normally Weasley red hair bright blue 'highlights' and his nose became a red bulbous mass that constantly dripped neon green goo all night.
None of the hired dancers would even come close to him. That also may have been partially a result of the purple hive-like bumps that covered all parts of his exposed body. He spent the entirety of the night in a dark corner brooding over how to seek revenge on the miscreant brothers of his.
And to make it all worse, there was no potion that could eliminate nor lessen the effects. So for his wedding day, and worse wedding night, Percy was constantly wiping green puss from his reddened nose and scratching at the purple hives that had migrated to parts unspoken.
Now, as Percy reclined in the Ministry-approved conference room chair surrounded by his peers and equals, he relished in the agony that Ron will be feeling as he tried to extract peat bog sludge from his nether bits.
The only one he felt remotely sorry for was Hermione. She had no part in the original prank, but she will face the brunt of the outcome, especially the whining that Ron will inevitably do.
Hermione quickly scratched some ideas on how to extricate Ron from the bog with the assistance of the Department Head of the Department of Mysteries and Kingsley - though the Minister seemed to be wiping away more tears of mirth than actually giving input.
Robards returned to the conference room red-faced and obviously relishing in the humbling of Ron Weasley, who, as the partner of the Boy-Who-Lived and member of the Golden Trio, has been known to throw that tidbit around the Auror's Office to get out of menial duties - like prisoner transportation.
"Percy," Hermione's voice pulled him out of his revelry. "Do you know who created the Portkey in the first place?"
Thinking quickly, he pondered over the multitude of outcomes to what he replies. "Why, Hermione? All of my employees have the greatest of skills and I put my complete faith in them that they would never, purposefully, endanger Ron or any of the Aurors."
"I understand, but I just need to distinguish if there was a special charm engrained in it that would tangle Ron up in the first place, and with what. And how it only affected Ron and not Harry. It is quite the quandary," her explanation was precise and well-intentioned.
But her eyes spoke something completely different. They said that she knows that he did it intentionally and that she is giving him an out, but at the same time get the information that she needs to extricate her boyfriend.
"Well, Hermione, if one was to guess," Percy drawls in a way that has been described as 'pompous' before, "I would say that he was just tangled up in the peat bog's roots and probably has his belt tangled with some of the undergrowth. But that is purely speculation. It could be a number of things that have his britches in a bunch."
With a small wink and a smirk, Hermione went back to her extraction plans with Robards, Kingsley, and the Department of Mysteries Head. Percy, meanwhile, just enjoyed the humiliating show before him relishing in the sweet revenge.
A/N:
THC/The Houses Competition.
House - Slytherin
Class - HoH
Prompts - [Object] Malfunctioning Portkey
Standard
Word Count - 1203