~Chapter 6~

Smoke filled the chilly air as I walked to Summer's place. Betch had been out of town on a business trip. Something about her boss wanting to expand the business. But she could do whatever she wanted to. Here was paradise. Anyone could do anything they wanted here. It was as free as free could get. You didn't have to worry about anything you didn't want to.

I smiled gratefully and tapped my cigarette. It had been three years. Darien? Almost always off my mind. I didn't belong to anybody, especially not him. I had done the right thing by coming here. Nobody had thought to look for me here. To me this was serene and peaceful. I could smoke without the girls on my tail. I didn't even need to cut myself anymore. The hurt I'd been feeling before had completely disappeared. There was no more guilt, no more pain, no more worry. I was freed from it all. Thanks to this magical place, I was both hidden and happy. My oasis.

I knocked on my friend's door and soon enough, she opened it to greet me with a hug. "Hey, Serena."

"Sorry I'm late. You know how Kent can be," I said. "He spent hours babbling on about stuff. I really don't remember. Zoned out, you know?"

She laughed and led me inside. Her place was small, but cozy. I plopped onto a bean bag and she sat on her couch.

"What's up?" I asked.

I'd quit everything, I'd given it up. My friends had only been concerned about me because they cared about me. Everyone was probably out there right now, looking for me even though I'd been gone for years. My family, my friends, my cat. All of them were probably worried. They probably thought something had happened to me. In a certain, indirect sense, something had happened to me. A little thing called freedom.

But...no, I wasn't going back to that. If they were still looking for me, then it was only a matter of time until they found me.

An entire year had passed. I was now nineteen years old. I would turn twenty in half a year. Literally. My birthday was six months away.

Summer and Betch kept telling me I would "drink myself to death". It wasn't true, they were just trying to bug me. Only occasionally did it work. On those rare occasions, they tried to take my drink away and I got angry until they gave it back. But I would do anything to get my hands on a beer or a margarita or sometimes wine. Alcohol was pretty much all I drank. Besides, I could tolerate a ton of that stuff. I still got drunk though, and when I did it was fun...until the hangover part. But it was sooooo worth it. Even after the hangover I had another drink. I was happy when I was drinking and smoking. I stopped cutting because of it. Now I didn't have to worry about that stupid vein.

The girls and Darien were never on my mind anymore. I had completely forgotten about my friends, my ex, and my family. My family consisted solely of Kent, Summer, and Betch. They didn't freak out when they saw me smoking. They sometimes encouraged my drinking. And I drank so much that they called me an alcoholic. I was pretty sure that was true, so there was no point in getting offended by it.

I had experimented with some of Summer's drugs, but no matter how high I got, I decided I was better off without them. We celebrated that moment with special wine.

And I got smashed every day, and I loved it. Sometimes I could tell what I was doing, but I couldn't actually control it. Most of the time I couldn't even remember what I was doing. Which oftentimes frustrated Summer and Kent, the only ones available to make sure I didn't kill myself while I was drunk. Most of the time, I couldn't believe what they told me I did when I woke up.

I lighted a cigarette and started smoking. I wanted to look hot today, so I'd decided to put on a small red shirt that tied around the middle, successfully showing off a flat, toned belly, and some really short blue jean shorts. Oh yeah, and I had gotten a haircut awhile back. Now my hair didn't have buns and it came down to the small of my back. I also wore thick makeup, something I wouldn't have put on four years ago. Or was it five? Eh, I wasn't really sure anymore. No use in counting. I wasn't going back and that was all that mattered right now.

I smiled and blew out a strong cloud of smoke. Yes. No worries. I got to be disconnected with the entire world if I drank enough. I got to be on the clouds instead of on the ground. It was the perfect life for me, the life I deserved after years of hurt and torture. Now I'd forgotten about it all. At long last. Granted, it took three years, but once I reached the fourth year here, I finally managed to sever the last ties connecting me to my past. Now I had nothing holding me back. I went to raves whenever I wanted and I partied at random strangers' houses. I danced however, wherever, and whenever I pleased. If I wanted to jump instead of actually dance, I could do just that. If I spent all my time throwing my fist up in the air and chanting the songs, I could do that too. If I wanted to really break out some awesome moves, I could do that. If I wanted to look sexy while I danced, I could definitely do that. Actually, I found that I was much sexier than I'd first realized. I could catch the attention of a million guys, whether single or not. I had the power to sleep with one of them if I wanted. But that only happened if I was really drunk. As in, so freaking drunk that I couldn't recognize a fire hydrant from a I would get so drunk that I would run into a street light or a stop sign and say, "Excuse me, sir." Yeah, sometimes it got pretty bad. That's where Summer and Kent came in, making sure I didn't cross the street and get hit by a car. But during parties they lost me half the time because of all the people.

I took yawned before I put the little white "cancer stick" back in my mouth. Supposedly I had slept with some guy the night before, in accordance to Summer. That would explain why I was so tired this afternoon. But thankfully I was already half-drunk, so the exhaustion would go away soon. I looked at the bottle of beer in my hand, still pretty full. Not for long. That entire bottle would be downed in a single hour or less. I tried to read the label on the bottle. I couldn't. Ayup, not long at all. I took the cigarette out and replaced it with the beer, chugging as much of it as I could before I needed to breathe again. With just that one drink, the bottle had been drained to half of what it once was. Safe to say I was an expert at drinking alcohol. A real professional. No, seriously though, I had actually won like five drinking contests. I'd earned quite a bit of money for myself through contests like that. I had beaten the snot out of anyone who challenged me. Heh heh...

"Geez, Serena. Thirsty much?" Kent teased.

My slurred speech was already revealing how close I was to getting completely smashed. "I need beer... S'good for me."

As we continued to walk down the sidewalk, we talked about nothing too important. That is, until I really did get drunk. By then there was no actual talking. Just hysterical laughing on my part and bumping into pretty much everything and then laughing about it even though it should've hurt. Even though Kent was there to help me, even he couldn't prevent unexpected acts. Anyone who was there when I was drunk had to keep a careful eye on me, or I could be in the next city by probably a minute.

I tilted the bottle again and drank the last drops of its contents. I lost what little balance I had left and fell into Kent, knocking him off balance as well. We both fell down and Kent was the first to help me up, steadying me as I wobbled around.

"Alright," he said. "Time to go to Summer's place. You'll be her problem."

I couldn't comprehend what he'd said, so I just laughed loudly and tried to dance, despite his attempts to hold me back. I was told that I danced even better when I was drunk...somehow. Kent hated it, since he was often the one stuck with me while I drank as much as I possibly could. He told me guys usually stared at me like I was the most wonderful thing in the world. I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. So I just kind of kept quiet about it.

I suddenly felt the urge to run away from Kent, and since he wasn't expecting it, I got away from him, somehow maintaining enough equilibrium to move at all.

"Wait, Serena!" his voice echoed.

"You can't catch me!" I sang.

The only upside to my drinking until I lost my mind was that I never got violent. I was as playful and harmless as a kitten. In fact, the only one of my friends who got violent every now and then was Kent. I placed blame on testosterone levels. It was especially fun when Kent and I got drunk together. Supposedly we would play baseball without our feet. Nobody knew who was winning because the ball and bat were both imaginary. I sometimes could recall very vague memories of times like that. But it was different when Summer got drunk. Nothing like Kent. She would try to do cartwheels, thinking she was on a trampoline. And there was just no way I could leave out Betch. She was highly intolerant of alcohol. So when she got drunk, she would end up doing the weirdest things, like talking to a tree. The fun didn't last long with her though. She blacked out too soon. But unlike the rest of us, at least, she never once threw up. Lucky, lucky...

By the next morning, I'd forgotten entirely what had happened. And again, I had a bad headache, which meant I'd gotten drunk. Another morning, another hangover. I assumed I was at either Kent or Summer's apartment. I couldn't be at Betch's because she worked most of the night. And I'd gotten drunk somewhere around yesterday afternoon.

I slowly sat up, holding my head with one of my hands. "Hey, Kent?"

No one answered.

"Summer?"

Again, no answer.

"This isn't funny, guys! I've got a freaking hangover!"

This time there was an answer. And it was Summer cracking up. I opened my eyes to find myself at her apartment. Well, at least it wasn't Kent... He would sit there and tease me for an hour before letting me recover from waking up after having been drunk for a few hours. Maybe more, I don't really know. It varied depending on how much I drank.

"Get your butt up!" I heard Summer call to me.

I huffed. She could be strange. She would be nice and cheery one second and sarcastic and rude the next. "My head hurts!"

"Quit whining!"

Ugh... I got out of bed, my feet meeting soft carpet. It was different from my home. Well, it wasn't really a home anymore. I usually stayed at Summer's or Kent's place, so my place was usually pretty empty. I opened the door to find Summer in the kitchen, making breakfast. Smelled good and I loved her cooking! Seemed like everything she made was made by a professional chef. And I liked how she never tried to make her food look fancy. It was all normal and casual-looking.

"Hey, Summer," I said. "Smells good."

She grinned. "Thanks, but this isn't for you."

"Huh?" I must've done something while I was drunk that made her angry. Did I mention that Summer could be very spiteful at times?

"It's for them." She pointed over to the area behind the kitchen, which was blocked by a wall. I couldn't see who "them" was yet, so I rounded the corner to find out.

There was a brunette, a bluenette, a blonde, and a girl with long black hair. Friends of hers? Family? Cousins twice removed? Maybe they were fellow dealers. Like some kind of dealer meeting. Maybe these people were the people who she got her drugs from. But I didn't want to say that out loud. I could be wrong about the whole thing. I mean, they didn't look anything like someone who was in the drug business.

I couldn't help but notice the huge bow that the blonde girl was wearing. I mean that thing was enormous! How could she even hold her head up with that thing on? And then the brown-headed girl had her hair up in a very casual ponytail, and apparently had a single strip of a blonde highlight to the left side of her head. then there was the black-haired girl. I had to admit she had beautiful hair, but I didn't understand why she wore purple contacts. Anyone with pretty hair like that would have pretty eyes as well. But I've been wrong before. Moving on to the girl with the blue hair... She had short hair. I figured it would be really pretty if she grew it out, but it wasn't my call to make. She somehow just looked like the shy type.

I cast Summer a mean glance. "So nice of you to tell me you were having guests over. I could've gone to Kent's place!"

She smiled and replied, "Not my fault. They just showed up here earlier this morning."

"So then you don't know these people?"

The black-haired girl spoke up, breaking our conversation. "Actually, we've come here looking for someone."

I didn't like these girls. I didn't know them, and Summer didn't know them. It left the question of who they were. "Whoever you're looking for probably isn't in here. It's just me and Summer."

The brunette answered for her friend. "We just wanted to see if anyone knew. Sorry for the misunderstanding."

The group got up to leave, but Summer didn't want them to go without breakfast. And what Summer wants, Summer gets. She practically forced the girls to sit back down while she finished cooking their meals.

"We're fine though, really." The bluenette smiled at us. Had to admit it was kind of a cute smile.

I grunted, trying to show Summer my displeasure of waking up to strangers. I didn't know why I tried. She wouldn't have it anyway. Besides, this was her apartment and not mine. So technically she made the rules, not me. If she wanted to have guests then there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Except hope she pushed them out, which I knew for a fact she wouldn't.

As I examined the black-haired girl's clothes, I couldn't help but make a comment. "What is a miko doing on this side of town?"

Her friend, that strange blonde with the gargantuan bow on her head, spoke for her. "Well you see, we've all come here looking for our friend. We haven't seen her in a really long time."

Okay... So...that still didn't actually answer my question. I had no real choice but to assume that this miko had come here because she and the others were all friends who were looking for another friend. It was mind-boggling to me, but that was probably because I still had a hangover. It was only the simple things that made sense to me right now. And one of those simple things was: I did not like these girls. They ruined my morning; Summer wouldn't let me drink or smoke when she had guests. It was the one restriction she had on this place. Well, that and don't break anything. But you get my point.

I was about to turn around and let myself out of my friend's apartment, but the black-haired girl tensed and yelled, "Wait!"

I stopped myself and looked at her, waiting for her to continue. "Our friend is a girl named Serena. Have you seen her?"

Now, this is what really caught my attention. Even Summer was looking at me strangely, seeing if I would answer. She was probably wondering the same thing I was... And it wasn't just me, everyone stood silently. Stupid girl...she'd really put me on the spot this time. And you want to talk about aggravating... This girl was the meaning of the word!

"Who wants to know?" I asked.

The black-haired girl relaxed herself but had a disappointed look on her face. I blinked. It most likely wasn't me they were talking about, but still... What if someone did this to you? How would you feel? Besides, why would anyone be looking for me? Unless of course, they were cops or something. Crap! If they knew my drinking record, I was done for! And what if it was actually a crime to be around meth-heads? I had never tried it before because I'd heard of how addicting it could be, but when I went to raves, there were usually drugged up meth-people there that just sat around laughing and talking.

The blonde spoke this time. "I'm Mina, and this is Rei, Lita, and Amy." She gestured to each of the others and as their names were said, they waved and smiled.

I mouthed their names. They sounded so familiar...but...I didn't know why, but I just couldn't quite place my finger on who they were.

"So, have you seen her?" Mina asked.

I looked up at her, soon biting my fingernail. I didn't know these people. So it couldn't be me they were after. But they also looked familiar... Who were they though? I was certain that at one point or another, I'd met them. All of them, not just Mina. "Hold on one second."

I grabbed Summer's hand and dragged her into her bedroom, closing the door so the other girls wouldn't hear us.

"Okay, Summer, you have ten seconds to tell me what the hell is going on here," I said.

She shrugged. "I know about as much as you do. Was it you they were looking for?"

I sighed and answered, "I don't know... I mean, they look familiar and all, but I have no clue who they are."

"Well then, just tell them your name. Maybe they can give you answers after that."

I wanted so badly to deny it, but she was right. I really didn't have any other options, and if I told them I didn't know who Serena was, they would leave. And if they left I would feel too uncomfortable to sleep at night. Or to get drunk. Which was worse than not being able to sleep! Agh... How did I get in this position?

I groaned the who way back into Summer's kitchen area. I had planned this day to be easy: wake up, get over the hangover, smoke at least six cigarettes, and drink until nothing could be remembered. And then start that over the next day, maybe throw in some parties here and there. But no, these guys had to come along and ruin it for me... At the moment I didn't care how familiar they were! I had a nice little routine and I didn't want it changed for the world. Whoever they turned out to be, they would have to go back to wherever they came from. Not to mention how grumpy I already was because of my headache... That in itself probably didn't help things.

I plopped down on the couch behind the group and waited for Summer to sit next to me. She took her time, to say the least, because somehow we all had the feeling this was going to turn out weird. And probably crappy as well.

But finally Summer took her seat beside me. Now all that was left was to wait until someone said something...about something, I guess. I didn't know, I didn't care. All I wanted to do right now was get this over with so I could get back to my life. Which had better be soon or so help me...!

Summer's voice penetrated my thoughts. "Okay, so, um... First thing's first, don't mind her. She gets cranky when she has a hangover."

I cleared my throat very audibly.

I heard someone in that group stifle a laugh. I did not like these girls.

"So, are you going to talk to us about Serena?" that black-haired girl asked. If I recalled correctly, her name was...Rei? Yeah, that was it. Rei.

Summer gave me this weird look and I found myself unable to do anything against it. I knew what she wanted me to do, and I didn't want to do it. But if I wasn't going to do it, then she-

"Serena can talk to you about it," she told them.

At first the girls looked at me with hopefulness in their eyes, pure happiness that they had found their "friend". But then, after a few more seconds of examining me, they began chattering amongst themselves. I figured that they had come to the conclusion that I wasn't their Serena. And I probably wasn't. Oh well.

I stood up, but Summer pulled me back down. "Oh no you don't."

Before I could argue, what's-her-face stood up and said, "I think we have the wrong Serena. See, we're looking for Serena Tsukino. We're sorry if we've imposed." Amy, was it?

"Are you sure? As in, her last name is Tsukino?" I asked. I knew the answer, but it was getting pretty disturbing just standing here without any clarity between us.

The rest of the stood to leave, nodding their heads and even waving their farewells, but once more Summer intervened. "Wait a sec!" Her voice came from a different room this time. And yet I wasn't allowed to leave? Really?

She dragged out an old canvas that depicted a smiling girl with two pigtails that had a bun on top of each one. The girl was wearing a school uniform, but you could only tell because of the shirt. The whole bottom half of her was missing. Her hair was really long and started to curl at the ends. Like Mina, she was blonde.

I snorted. "Wow, I can't believe you actually kept those!"

She grunted as she wedged its corner from between two other objects. "Yeah, well...you know... Art comes in handy sometimes."

I dared to glance at everyone else's faces. Their emotions seemed to break into a thousand new emotions when Summer asked them, "Does this look like the Serena you guys are looking for?"

Now, finally, I could get some answers. It was clear that they had been searching for me. It was even more clear that they knew me. The old me. They knew the girl in that picture. However, I highly doubted they knew the current Serena. The better Serena, the improved version of the trash I used to be. Even though they knew me...I didn't know them. That was the only thing that worried me. Obviously I'd had some kind of connection with them, but who were these girls? And why had they been looking for me?

"See, that's me several years ago," I told them. "My name is Serena Tsukino."