Chapter 45 – Two very different, but similar mornings

Hermione woke with a startle. Her surrounding was unfamiliar, and her breath laboured. She expected to see the small room she shared with Aquila, but the celling was too high and the colours on the wall a bright red.

The memories of the last two months took some time to come back to her.

Blinking, she took in the room Ginny had given her, in the dim light of early morning. The sun wasn't up yet, but it would be soon. Looking out the window Hermione knew it was close to eight in the morning already, and she had imposed on the Potters longer than she wanted. To talk about what had happened so long ago had not only left her drained, but brought up old insecurities too.

Draco and her had argued about it many times after that very day. She had spent weeks researching the curses they used, to be able to counter them the next time. Every time a book Draco brought her left her without answers, she had been more keyed up.

It had taken Severus to sit her down and tell her, in no uncertain terms, that they needed her focus on other things, to make her stop.

She hadn't given up, because that was just not her, but she had tuned it down.

After Ron was gone, planning had gotten even harder. They had not only missed him and George for the more hazardous tasks, but also for his strategic prowess. Both of them had risked a lot for their revenge, but still had always fulfilled their tasks.

If she looked back now, she knew Ron had let himself be killed. There were many reasons she came up with over the time for why he had done it. Sometimes she wished for a chance to ask him, to know why he had clamoured something like that from her. Other times she just wanted to bury the memory and forget Ron completely, because every thought revolving around the topic always ended the same:

She had killed him with the Unforgivable. She wasn't any better than the Death Eaters.

There would have been many other ways, including the muggle painkillers, she knew had been at their shelter. The thought to overdose him had only come weeks later, when she took one for her headache. Along with it came the thought about different numbing and sleeping spells.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind Hermione got up and focused on finding the bathroom. As long as she kept her mind occupied, it wouldn't go to places she'd rather avoid. Until she talked to Harry, she had only remembered the horrible night Ron died when she had to look at him.

She needed to get ready to leave. It was the day of Christmas Eve and she didn't want Harry or Ginny to coax her into staying for the day. She knew it wasn't polite to leave without a word, but she had to get away from here to breathe freely again. The memories were too close to the surface and she dreaded to meet anyone from the Weasley family. To many of them triggered her in one way or another and she already felt raw.

Mrs. Weasley's broken body, ripped apart by Lestrange, on the floor near the Great Hall.

Fred's smashed body under the stones of the wall.

Charlie's burning corpse outside in the yard.

Her arms and torso coated in blood that wasn't hers.

Severus dragging her along without saying a word, his lips pressed so tightly together she couldn't see them anymore.

Hermione shook her head and focused on brushing her teeth with the toothbrush Ginny had set up for guests. One circling motion after another, tooth after tooth.

When she left the old townhouse no ten minutes later, the street was empty and silent. Ginny and Harry were still asleep, or so she assumed, and she had left a short message in the kitchen, when she hadn't seen them on her way out. She hadn't looked if she was honest.

With a small pop she was gone. Back to the school that held so many places of horror, but still made her feel safe, because it was familiar. She was strong, she would win the fight against her memories. But until she did, she felt like she wasn't ready to face the world.

For now, she hoped there would be an owl waiting for her back at Hogwarts, with the distraction she needed. Not all of her Christmas presents were ready yet and she had decided to gather the perfect presents together to keep herself busy. There was one day left to finish her task.

XxX

"Get your ass out of bed!"

The voice booming through the house in the middle of the night made Ron jump out of his bed and grab his wand tightly. He pointed it at the intruder and was about to hex whoever woke him, when he recognized his brother and partner George in the dim light of the rising sun.

Dazed, Ron looked around and saw that he had fell asleep on the couch after rummaging through the stuff Hermione's had left behind. Yesterday he had finally decided that he had to clean everything up and store it in boxes so he wouldn't see it anymore all the time.

"What the heck, George, are you mad?" Ron sulked and sat back down.

"Me?" His brother looked at him in disbelieve. "Blimey Ron. That's low even for you. You left me hanging before Christmas! Christmas, Ron! The kids went home for school and I didn't know right from left the last three days. I don't care if your wife left you, your marriage died or your kids hate you - because trust me brother after the stunt you pulled over them on the first day of break you'll have to crawl on your knees to make your kids see how sorry you are – get your ass ready for work."

George threw a robe at Ron and turned around to enter the kitchen.

"Figured you didn't read a single word." The older brother grumbled from there when he saw the mountain made of unopened letters.

"Next time I'll send howlers 'till your ears bleed Ronnekins!"

"Yeh..." Was Ron's rather intelligent answer while he stared at the robe in his arms. The one he wore to work and hated to look at because it looked so cheerful. His stomach felt like an endless pit just thinking about what his brother just told him. He wanted to crawl under a stone and hide. The dread of work combined with the shame from when he had done out of hurt made him feel like a complete idiot.

George handed a cup of coffee over to him after coming out of the kitchen. He held one for himself in the other hand and had lighted the room. Scrutinizing him, Ron noticed that George looked like Ron felt, a picture of misery. His robe was wrinkled like he had slept in it, but the huge dark circles indicated that he hadn't slept for days.

"Drink up, get dressed and put off your pity party until Christmas is over. I need you, the kids need you and Ma is close to crying every time someone mentions your name. It's nearly as bad as when Percy left."

George took a gulp from his cup and looked daggers at Ron who hadn't moved to dress at all until now. That his patience was stretched thin was obvious to anyone knowing the remaining twin. It had taken him a few years to grow back into his easy-going self after Fred's death, but Angelina and the birth of Fred Jr. had helped the jokester to resurface.

"Don't even think about getting out of work today. I'll hex you into next week and bind you down if I have to. You'll join me for work and then we'll Apparate to the Burrow together. You'll sit your ugly ass down and make this family happy for the celebration. Are we clear ?"

George was rarely crude like this and that drove the point home for Ron. His brother had made himself clear and he had to admit maybe he needed this kick up the ass. He felt like shit and knew it wouldn't get any better soon, but he wasn't a kid anymore. He had kids waiting for him, kids he had dumped on his mom without a word.

"Blast it, gimme a sec to finish this and we'll be off."

With a pat on the back George smiled down at Ron and wiggled his eyebrows. From one moment to another the normal, carefree and joke cracking man was back.

"That's what I wanted to hear. Man up bro, we'll conquer the world with our newest products today 'till we are all sold out. The faster we are done, the more food is left for us at home."

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