~Chapter 12~

Bam bam bam...

I awoke to a horrible and repetitive banging sound. Darien stirred next to me, but didn't actually wake up. I didn't even move, I just laid there with my eyes shut tightly, hoping it would all end and I could get a few more minutes of sleep. But of course, a twenty-year-old getting sleep in someone else's apartment? Absurd. The sound just continued, with very short pauses in between them. It was so annoying! And I always thought an alarm clock was bad... But now! Oh, I have so changed my mind... I'd rather have an alarm clock over this; at least a clock has a snooze button. What in the world was that sound anyway?

Thankfully, I didn't have to get up to go find out. Darien yawned audibly and stretched, shaking the bed a bit. I felt his body move against mine. It wasn't a half bad feeling, but I'd rather not feel it right now. I was so tired... First I'd gotten drunk, then I had sex, then I woke up to a thunderstorm, then I'd gotten scared because of the thunder, and finally I'd had sex again. Although, the second time was entirely my fault. I was, after all, the one who seduced him into bed.

I yawned but refused to so much as open my eyes. It was his apartment, let him take care of the sound. But I did, however, choose to make myself more comfortable by rolling to my other side and pulling myself into a fetal position. With two people having kept the bed warm, it felt like I was in a little cocoon, all nice and cozy and warm...and wonderful...and welcoming...and...warm...and... I found my train of thought derailing. I was already dozing off. The warmth of the "cocoon" seemed to embrace me. It wouldn't let me go. My body didn't want to move.

I felt Darien get out of the bed but I could hardly pay attention to it. Even the banging seem to merely float away. Yeah, it was someone else's problem now. Good riddance. Bye bye! Have a nice trip to I-don't-care-where-you're-going!

I was literally right on the verge of falling back asleep when Darien came running back inside. I heard fabric moving and knew he was getting dressed. He muttered something under his breath, but I couldn't understand what it was he was saying. If he was talking to me, he needed to be a little louder than that.

He leaned on the edge of the bed and I felt my backside dip downward. A few seconds passed and suddenly he was off the bed. My backside bounced a little, moving with the mattress.

I heard footsteps going out of the room and the door being shut. I didn't know what was going on. Half of me wanted to find out, but the other half couldn't care less and wanted to stay put and go right back to sleep. I agreed with the latter half. My thoughts went blank at that moment and I enjoyed the cocoon while Darien spoke to someone who had yet to enter his apartment. I pulled the covers over my head to block out all and any light. It didn't block out all the light that streamed in from the window, but it was good enough.

After a few moments I re-awoke to a feminine voice saying something incomprehensible. The door to the bedroom shook as someone else tried to block that person from entering.

I tried to focus in on the conversation, tossing the covers off my head to hear better. What I heard was a muffled, "Darien, what are you hiding in there?" I couldn't tell who it was.

"Hiding? Why would I hide something? I just like to keep my bedroom private," Darien replied, sounding somewhat worried.

"Why? It's not like we're going to wreck the place," the girl stated.I didn't want her to come in the room and find me still naked in Darien's bed, but I didn't see my shirt anywhere and there was no place to hide. The only chance I had of keeping myself hidden was to stay under the covers and try to look inconspicuous.

"You don't want to go in there!" he sudden exclaimed. "Um, my room is a total mess, looks like a tornado came through it!"

"Oh, well we can help you clean it."

I pulled the covers back over my head and held my breath. Somehow I just knew she was going to come in. Whoever this girl was, something told me she wouldn't exactly be delighted to discover me in his bed. As soon as she saw me, she would know what went on last night. It was embarrassing to think that I had a good chance of being found out by anyone other than the man I just slept with.

As I suspected, after only a few more sentences, the doorknob turned and the entrance to the bedroom was opened. It seemed that Darien hadn't done a good job of keeping whoever it was out.

"Darien, what's that?" the girl asked. No doubt she was referring to me. She sounded familiar. In fact, I was sure I'd met her before.

"What's what?" he asked nonchalantly.

"That, under the covers," she answered.

"Oh, that's just some pillows!"

Crap, crap, crap! I highly doubted she would buy that... It probably looked too much like a human body. Like a girl's body. And I wouldn't be able to fit under the bed... Why did things like this happen to me? Honestly, did I even deserve this?

I heard lighter footsteps than Darien's come closer to me, until they were so close that I could actually see the silhouette of the girl behind the covers. I waited, deciding it was best to stay silent even though she probably already knew I was under here. I couldn't hold my breath for much longer. Darien needed to get her out. Unfortunately, it seemed as though he had tensed up in dread. He remained where he was at and probably couldn't bring himself to budge.

A wave of cold air flowed right over me and I shivered at the sudden change of temperature. But I heard a gasp and I looked up to find Mina standing there, jaw agape, eyes unbelieving, heart pounding so loudly I could hear it.

"Um..." I whispered. "I think I can explain..."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" she shrieked, recovering from her shock much faster than I'd expected.

I sat up and pulled the covers over my bare body to hide my exposed skin from any other eyes. This was the last thing I'd expected to happen.

In a desperate effort to save myself, I tried to think of any way possible to convince her that it wasn't what she thought...even though it was what she thought. "Well...what are you doing here?"

She angrily turned to face Darien, ignoring me completely. "What did you do! The plan was to get her to remember, not to get her in your bed!"

He opened his mouth to answer her, but unable to find an answer, he remained silent and closed his mouth.

I answered for him. "Mina! We're both adults here, we can do what we want! What Darien and I choose to do isn't any of your business!"

"No, Serena, you really don't understand... This could jeopardize Rini's birth!" she said, a hint of worry in her voice. Her eyes gave Darien a pointed look.

"I don't even know who Rini is," I retorted.

She growled in frustration. "We brought her over, but she can't see you like this!"

"And speaking of which, I would appreciate it if you got out of the room so I can get dressed!" I meant to sound rude. It was kind of part of my act, so to speak, so that she would leave. And thankfully for Darien and me, it worked. She left and closed the door behind her.

I sighed in relief and let go of the covers, not caring if Darien saw me when they fell around my waist. Kind of looked like I was in a nest made of bedsheets and blankets.

Before I could do or say anything, Darien spoke. "I'm sorry."

I looked up at him, confused. "For what?"

Ashamed of himself, he averted his eyes. "For...you know, for last night."

I laughed. "It's fine. It was my fault anyway."

I'd acted very harshly toward him before, mainly because I figured he was exactly like every other man. But no, he was very different. He was much kinder, much more gentlemanly, and much more considerate of what I did and didn't want. He had made it clear last night that he didn't want to put me in a position where I felt uncomfortable. Of course, at first I did because I'd found out we'd had sex while I was smashed, but it wasn't so bad. He held me during the thunderstorm and didn't seem to care that I was still nude. I have a bit of a confession to make about that, though. I actually liked the way he held me. It was tender, unlike any other man, including Kent, would've held me. He had been very gentle with me. He isolated himself from all other males in terms of his personality and the way he treated women.

"Besides, Darien, if I didn't want you to do anything to me, I wouldn't have let it happen," I added.

He sighed, but I wasn't sure why. Maybe...maybe he hadn't wanted it. I knew how seductive I could be, and not to brag or anything, but I knew how hard it was for a man to resist me. Maybe he hadn't wanted me to seduce him like that. Or maybe he had only been being kind to me by giving me what I wanted. No matter the reason, though, it was very wrong on my part to try anything like that...and then succeed. Besides, he had broken up with me. We weren't a couple like we were at one point in the past. I really shouldn't have done what I did. I didn't feel bad about it, but he might. We'd broken up...and even though I couldn't remember it, he obviously did. I couldn't blame anyone but myself for what happened last night. To be honest I'd thoroughly enjoyed it, but... Well, what if he hadn't? I hadn't stopped even once to think that he may not have wanted me to do what I did. I guess...I guess that made me exactly like every other hooker out there...

But how could I say I was sorry? Especially if I might be wrong anyway? And besides, you can't just sit there and say, "Oh, and by the way, I'm sorry I laid you." It wasn't something that could be brought up or said casually. And consolation? Forget about it. What was I supposed to do, say, "You were great in bed." Not the best idea on Earth. Maybe all this bad luck would burn out and I would finally get something good from all this.

"Serena?" Darien said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Is something bothering you?"

I shook my head, lying with my body language. And now for verbal lies as an add-on. "I'm fine, just thinking about some things."

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, leaning against the wall.

I smiled and told him it was nothing important, nothing in particular.

"Serena, I know you very well. And if there's one thing about you that hasn't changed over all this time, it's the ability to look in your eyes and see if something's bothering you. Now, what is it?" he persisted.

I hesitated, but when I realized it would probably make him feel even worse by not telling him, I told him what was on my mind. "You told me we broke up in the past. And then we slept together. Twice."

"Well, it's true that I broke up with you a few years ago, but you never let me finish my story. I was trying to tell you that I only broke up with you because of these recurring nightmares where you died sometime after we got married. And then there was Rini to consider... I didn't want to risk your life, so I broke up with you. You were devastated back then and it killed me to see you that way, especially since you didn't know why I kept pushing you away. But no matter what I did, I loved you all along," he explained.

Before I had the chance to say anything, he quickly added, "And there's something that's been on my mind ever since the day I found blood smeared across my door. I also found some blood pools on the floor, and I've been so confused about that. And the weirdest thing is, that blood appeared right after you came to see me, not long before you ran away. So I want to know, was that your blood I found?"

I scratched my head and tried to think back to the times before I hit my head and gained the lovely little burden of amnesia. "I don't know, I don't remember."

"It's okay. I was just worried because there had been times when you came to see me and when I shut the door, I would hear you crying in the hallways. You were really depressed... I just wanted to know if something happened, that's all," he replied.

He was trying to keep himself calm, but I knew he was longing for an answer on the inside. And I had scars on my wrists... Maybe that was my blood. I mean, I wasn't sure where those scars came from, but from the way things looked, I'd been cutting my wrists at one point. Could I have really been so depressed and miserable that the only hope I had of escape was butchering my arms? Wow... I didn't want to go back to my old life if that was the case.

These scars look familiar, don't they?

I sighed and studied them, trying to figure out if it was me, or...I don't know...somebody else? It seemed unreal, I just couldn't believe that I would ever do something like this to myself. Maybe someone else did it. Maybe I'd made a blood pact with someone or something like that. Hm... A real head-scratcher. But...a real eye-opener as well.

"Serena, what are you looking at?" Darien asked.

The scars were faded and unless you were looking for them, you wouldn't be likely to notice them.

"Oh, it's nothing," I lied.

He shrugged and turned to look for my shirt. I gathered up the clothes I could find and put them on, waiting for Darien to find my shirt. Those scars had never bothered me before now. And chances were, I'd probably return to my life as a person who didn't really care about anything. I liked the thought, but...I had to accept that there were more important things in life that needed to be consulted and taken care of. Things I didn't have to deal with before now.

Once he found my shirt and I got fully dressed, he let me use his comb to brush my hair, which I had a hard time with since my hair was so thick. But I managed, and soon after we got ready to start the day, Darien's phone rang, reminding me of the hangover I'd had sometime in the middle of last night. It was nice to wake up without a hangover for once. My head felt clear and I wasn't cranky. It was a pleasant change for me.

I stretched to relieve my muscles, which for some reason had gotten tense. Probably because Mina had intruded. Now the rest of the girls probably knew.

Little did I know that today I would meet my mother for, for me, the first time.

A/N

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