Chapter 53 - Don't go breaking my heart

Hugo was sitting on his bed, hours after his party had ended, and was eyeing the different present he had gotten. There were many books, a beautiful feather and ink set and sweets including a bunch of chocolate frogs and Berty Bott's Beans.

He knew he should be happy, but he had a hard time keeping his tears at bay.

It had started of as a lovely day. Rose had cooked breakfast and brought it to his room to wake him up with the smell of bacon and eggs, accompanied by a muffin with a big 12 on top.

Later his whole family had visited, bringing him all the presents that sat in front of him now. His grandma had brought food and his father had even smiled once or twice, sharing jokes with Uncle George. Fred Jr's hair had finally been turned back to its normal red, even after his insistence that he liked his new green hair colour, he had sported since Christmas. Hugo was rather sure, that the reason Molly turned the hair back was for the simple reason that Fred had liked the colour she had put on him as a punishment. Her own hair had long been back to it's original colour, courtesy of George who had figured out the spell Fred used, to undo it. Molly's own spell hadn't been that easy and Hugo was rather proud of his cousin's great spell work when she had told him about it today.

They had ended his birthday with a great firework, like it was tradition by now and Hugo had loved to spend all the time with his family.

Still he was sitting there and feeling like the world was about to shatter around him, while his heart hurt. He looked up when he heard the door open and, seeing his Dad, he sniffed.

"Just wanted to wish the birthday boy a good night." Ron said from the door, but stopped when he saw the tears in Hugo's eyes.

"Everything alright Hugo?" He asked concerned and entered the room to sit down on the bed, next to his son.

Suddenly Hugo threw himself into his father's arms and let the tears flow freely.

"Sh-she for-got-t me." It was more of a hiccup than a full sentence, but Ron understood right away. With the understanding came bitterness. He wanted to blame his ex-wife for her unthoughtful behaviour, but guilt was stronger. He should have known she wouldn't remember the day she gave birth to her son, because she never did. The letter he sent to her right before Christmas should have had the birthday included, but he was caught up in his own resentment. With the way he had handled the situation he had hurt one of the most precious things in his life yet again, his son.

"I'm sorry Hugo." Ron admitted and hugged his son to his chest. How easy it would be to blame Hermione now to make Hugo feel better, but Ron wasn't a child anymore. Cradling his crying son in his arms he lay his chin on top of Hugo's head.

"I don't think she wanted to hurt you Hugo, but she forgot us all. She can't remember giving birth to you or Rose, so she doesn't know your birthdays."

"It's my-y fau-ault." Hugo whispered with a tearful voice into his fathers embrace. "I did-n't invi-ite her."

" I don't think she would have come. She's avoiding the family until she comes to terms with her memory loss."

"No-ot help-ful, Dad!" Hugo lectured him, even while he was still crying, and Ron nearly laughed. "But I gue-ss you are ri-ght."

When Hugo finally fell asleep, Ron was dead tired himself, but stayed up anyway to write a letter to Hermione. It wasn't much, not even terribly polite, just a small note to remind her of this special day she couldn't remember.

XxX

It was only days into the new year when Hermione knew that what she dreaded, since she saw the single line on her pregnancy test, was about to occur. She hadn't left her room in a week because she knew her eyes were red rimmed, and she even ignored the owls. Nightmares were hunting her every night, but they had changed since she knew she wasn't with child.

Her daughter wasn't calling for her anymore and the silence made the dreams even worse. Harry would walk up to her and tell her she had to kill him if she ever wanted to see Aquila again.

The time turner she wore around her neck was a constant reminder of a decision she dreaded. Logical she knew she couldn't use it, but there was a voice in her head, that sounded a lot like the laughing voice from her dream, that made her question her decision to do what was right instead of what she wanted.

A cramp in her lower abdomen made her bit her teeth in pain and brought her back to her current situation. She was curled up in bed with the worst menstruation she had had in years. A pain-relief potion sat on her nightstand, but she couldn't bring herself to take it. Maybe it was a way to make herself pay for her mistakes, but she wanted to feel the pain, because it made the whole situation more real to her. Her emotional pain clawed at her from the inside, but the craps were giving her something to concentrate on. She could breathe through them and they would lessen from time to time. Her tears were all used up by now anyway.

AN: Updated for the betaed version, thanks to Eva.

I promised an early Chapter and here it is, 2 comments, 2 days early ;)

Jacpin was spot on with her comment, and the reason why I decided against a pregancy.

I'll update it to a betaed version once my

The tags on AO3 were updated cause of some complains about the general outline of the story. I hope to make it obvious, that this isn't some fluff, happy go lucky story.

PTSD should normally be a dead giveaway but I guess it wasn't taken seriously by some.

Yes Hermione is occ, and that's on purpose. If you don't know PTSD or what it does to a person please look it up or ask me in a pm for more informations.