Written for:
Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition: Round 3 - CAPTAIN: Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down): Write about a duel or fight and incorporate a lyric from the Hamilton song in some way. Lyric chosen - Gotta meet my son
Hogwarts: 365 Prompts
Prompt - Coward
Betaed by my lovely teammates, our very own Fred and George, IsileeGilbert and Farbuatidottir.
Gotta Meet My Son
Remus stood and watched as the battle began. It was a fight for freedom. A fight for happiness and love. A fight for friends and family. A fight for life.
Remus looked to his left and saw the trio standing together, Harry in the middle. He had come to love Harry like his own son, but Harry could never take the place of his real, flesh and blood child. The one he hadn't even met yet.
He had tried to get ahold of Dora. He wanted to make sure she was safe. He needed to make sure she was taking care of herself and not taking any risks that would put her and the baby in danger. But it wasn't safe. Forms of contact could be traced by the enemy, and he would not lead them to Harry and the others.
Besides, if he did something so monumentally stupid, actually leading Voldemort to Harry Potter, Dora would never forgive him. He would never forgive himself.
Instead, he listened to Ron's radio and hoped for updates. There was talk of some people going into hiding. He hoped she was one of them. With her familial connection to Bellatrix, she'd be on the most wanted list.
He listened religiously. He didn't hear anything, but in this case, no news was good news.
Every night, before he finally succumbed to what usually turned out to be a restless sleep, he pictured her beautiful face. It was always one of disappointment. Disappointment in him for abandoning her. For abandoning their child before he or she was even born.
Would she ever forgive him for his cowardly act? Remus didn't know. Dora was one of the most forgiving people he knew, but even she had her limits. 'Be safe. Take care of our baby,' Remus thought as sleep overtook him.
It felt like so long ago, but it really wasn't. When Dora told him about her pregnancy, his first thought was to run. And run he did. No one knew how genetics affected a werewolf's child, and his biggest fear was that his child would be a werewolf like him and then hate him for it. Add on the fact that he or she was being born during a time of war…
Who in their right mind would bring a child into the world at this time?
Needing to feel useful—and to hide from his fears—he sought out Harry, Ron, and Hermione at 12 Grimmauld Place and offered to go with them and help on their mission. To himself, he admitted he was a coward, but at the time helping with the fight seemed like the brave thing to do. At least, that was what he told Dora when he fled.
Harry easily accepted, obviously overwhelmed. He didn't even question Remus' desire to go, happy for help from anyone, but especially happy that the offer was coming from an experienced wizard who knew something about the Dark Arts.
While helping Harry, he could lie to himself and say he was doing the noble thing, making the world a safer place for his child. He wasn't scared of dying in a war though. He was scared of living and finding out that he helped bring another werewolf into the world who hated him for it. It wasn't the best mindset to head into war with, but it was the one he had.
So off the four of them went to seek out the most hideous of all dark artifacts—Horcruxes. Horcruxes in themselves were insidious things, but the fact that Voldemort created seven of them was horrifying.
Harry, despite being caught up in the mission and the drama with Ron going off because of the locket, noticed Remus' sullenness and was finally told the truth about the reason Remus volunteered to assist with the mission.
"You shouldn't have left," Harry said, his voice firm. There was a trace of anger in it, too. At one time, Harry wouldn't have been able to contain his anger and things might have exploded around them, but now was not the time to lose control.
"I know. I'm not trying to excuse myself, but I was scared."
Harry looked out to the horizon. "And now?"
Remus was silent for a moment as he mulled over his thoughts. "I'm still scared, but now I'm more scared that I'll never get to meet my baby. I'm scared I'll never get to know if he or she looks more like Dora or more like me. I'm scared Dora will always believe that I abandoned her because I didn't love her or didn't want a child with her."
Harry nodded and looked at Remus. "It's too late to go find her. It's too dangerous. So, what we're going to do is make sure you get out of this war alive so you can be the father that your baby deserves. Be the father my dad was for the first year of my life. Do I make myself clear?"
Remus nodded. "In case I don't make—"
"Stop! You will make it," Harry interrupted.
"I have to say this. Part of being a father is making sure your child is taken care of in case something happens to you. Whether I make it or don't make it, I want you to be my child's godfather. There's no one better."
"Shouldn't Tonks have a say in that?" Harry asked wryly.
"Of course, but there's no way to ask her, and I know her well enough to know she'd agree with me. I know that if something happens to both of us, you'll make sure our child is taken care of."
Harry placed a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Okay, I'll be godfather, but I will make sure you survive this war. I vow it."
After that, things were strained for a bit. Despite Harry's encouraging words, he was angry at Remus for leaving his pregnant wife and Hermione appeared to side with Harry on the matter. Still, his assistance proved invaluable because, during the months of travel, they evaded the notice of snatchers and other Dark sympathizers mostly due to Remus' knowledge and experience with war.
Now, the final battle was upon them, and Remus still had not seen his child once. Nor had he spoken to Dora. He didn't even know if he had a boy or girl. Only the fact more than nine months had passed assured him he was a father at all.
He forced his mind back to the present as Harry walked over to him after a huddled conversation with Ron and Hermione. "I need to find him."
Remus stared down at the boy who had become a man much too early in life. He was the son of one of his best friends and the godson of the other, and Remus felt a duty to protect him on their behalf. "Let me come with you."
Harry quickly shook his head. "No, I need to do this by myself. This won't end until one of us is no longer standing. I need you to watch Hermione's and Ron's backs. I know it's a war and there are going to be casualties, but I can't lose them, too."
Remus briefly considered saying no, but then he remembered Harry's promise to get Remus home safely so he could meet his baby and be there for Dora. If he followed Harry, he would be more likely to meet his demise. By Remus staying back, two birds were killed with one stone: Remus was safer and there was someone to watch Ron and Hermione's backs. Still, it left a sour taste in his mouth to let Harry face down the danger alone, but Remus knew better than to argue against it. "Of course. I'll do everything I can to protect them."
Harry forced a smile. "Thank you for being one of the bravest men I know. And don't just watch their back. Watch your own too," Harry whispered.
Remus smiled and clapped him on the shoulder "You go do what you need to do. Focus on staying alive. You haven't gotten the chance to live yet."
"And you better stay alive so you can be the dad I know you can be."
His heart clenched as Harry ran off.
'Stay safe,' he thought before he joined Ron and Hermione as they began battling for everything they believed in.
As he looked around the battle, he caught a glimpse of bright blue hair and his heart swelled. "Dora!" he screamed. He left Hermione and Ron and ran over to her. She bounded her opponent, a lower level Death Eater and looked at him.
"You're here," she said.
"I'm so sorry."
"In case you care, you have a son. I named him Teddy. He's with my mum right now."
Remus took her hand. "Of course I care. I love you. I'm sorry I was a coward, but I've been working to be a man you can be proud of."
"I want to hate you forever," Dora admitted. "You can't possibly know the mental anguish you put me through."
Remus flinched.
"But I love you, and I don't want to live the rest of my life without you. We'll get through this, and then we will be a family."
"I should let you know something else. I'm sorry I didn't consult you, but I named Harry godfather."
"I figured. I put him as godfather in my will. I guess I know you pretty well." She smirked.
Remus pulled her into a fast kiss before they were distracted by the sounds of fighting. "Let's win this," Remus said.
And together they ran to where Hermione and Ron were engaged in their own battles.
Remus did his best to watch everyone's backs, but he had his own fighting to contend with. There were Killing Curses everywhere. He had to duck and dodge to avoid stray curses that weren't meant for him.
To his left, Hermione and Ron stood back-to-back. Hermione kept looking over to the corridor where Harry had disappeared, and Remus could see the wheels in her head turning. Ron, meanwhile, was looking at Remus and Dora in curiosity. "Pay attention, Hermione! You too, Ron!" he ordered over the din of the battle.
And like lightning, Hermione snapped to attention and focused on fighting the opponent before her. Ron copied her, his gaze unwavering as the Death Eater shot curse after curse at him.
Remus decided to follow his own advice and faced the opponent that was advancing on him—Antonin Dolohov. To his right, he heard Bellatrix's distinctive cackle and Dora's voice.
He wished he could bundle Dora up and protect her from this, but he knew what her answer would be if he told her to go home to their son. To Teddy.
He shook his head. He had to concentrate. Remus was about to go up against one of Voldemort's most infamous Death Eaters. Dora was strong and skilled, the top Auror trainee of Alastor Moody. She'd be fine. She'd survive. She'd live. She had to.
Antonin started hard and fast, sending the red Cruciatus curse towards him. Remus dodged to the right and sent his own curse, a Reducto, towards Dolohov.
Antonin put up a strong shield, and the curse bounced harmlessly off as if it was a pesky fly.
Dolohov's next volley of curses was in rapid succession and Remus worked to dodge and shield against them, going on the defensive. He couldn't get his own curse out, needing to constantly block and avoid being hit.
Remus looked for an opening. If he was ever going to win, he had to find one and take it.
He had to. He had a son to meet. He had made a promise to himself, to Harry, and to Dora that he would live and be the father that Teddy deserved.
'I've gotta meet my son,' Remus thought, and with new determination, he found an opening and grabbed it with both hands. He shot the strongest blasting curse he could and it blasted through Dolohov's shield like it was mere glass.
Remus smirked. He was going to meet his boy. His son would be raised by a father he could be proud of! He was certain of it! Nothing was going to stand in his way!
He would have the family he dreamed about, the one he wished was a reality as he watched James and Lily get married during a time of chaos.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Ron take a strong hit to the left side of his hip and fall. Hermione's wretched scream tore at Remus' heart as she ran to Ron, completely forgetting not to leave an opening in her haste to get to his side. Her opponent's grin was monstrous.
Remus made the same mistake. He knew he was making it, but he couldn't stop himself. His attention diverted as he put up his strongest Protego to shield Hermione and Ron from the blast that would have either killed them or made defending themselves nearly impossible.
He turned and saw it coming out of the corner of his eye. The bright green light was unmistakable. He didn't have enough time to dodge, though. The guilt on Hermione's face was the last thing he saw. Dora's scream of terror was the last thing he heard.
And his final thought, 'I'm sorry Teddy.'
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(word count: 2,241)