Chapter 55 – Decide who you want to be
"Hey Malfoy!" Sebastian Burke's voice carried across the Slytherin Common room. He wasn't the brightest star but, as part of the Quidditch team, the others listened if he had something to say. It was also commonly known that he didn't like Scorpius at all. Like nearly all Purebloods in Slytherin, Scorpius and Sebastian shared some ancestors, in this case on the Black side of the family, but nothing more. That didn't keep the 5th year beater from harassing the blonde every single time he found something to make good use of.
"I saw your beloved Granger eating up Wood's face this morning. Did she finally drop your sorry ass?" The big ugly smile on Burke's face was mirrored in several other housemates'.
Scorpius turned his head back to his homework and ignored the laughing members of his house.
"You are one to talk Burke, didn't Elisabeth dump you just a few days ago?" Albus drawled from beside Scorpius, and didn't sound like he was concerned at all. He was leaning back in his chair and raised an eyebrow mockingly.
"I think she told her buddy Heather that she found you lacking. I wonder which part of you however, there are so many..."
"Shut up Potter, we all know how you comfort your best friend at night. How you crawl into his bed when he cries and spend the night with him." Burke sneered at the black haired younger boy in disdain.
"At least I have someone to spend the night with." Albus mocked him and looked around the silent Common Room with a smirk on his face. They were all watching, but stayed out of it, like always. Slytherin were loyal to their own, but him and Scorpius were outsiders in their own house. Nonetheless, all of them had learned to stay out of his way, or regret it. The first years mostly looked troubled and were gathered in a corner, unsure about what was going on. They had yet to witness just how deep the rift was in the house of Slytherin when it was a matter involving the houses Malfoy and Potter. Soon enough they would know about all of the rumours and stay as far away from Scorpius and Albus as they could. They had withered it since the beginning of the year, but this was the first open confrontation in the Common Room. This year, it had taken longer than the ones before for someone to confront Scorpius, but the two of them had rarely spent time in close proximity of their house mates.
"If you want to rile someone up, go and annoy my brother Burke."
Albus tapped Scorpius on the shoulder and they grabbed all their stuff to vanish towards their dorm. When their were out of range for the others to hear, Albus looked at Scorpius and scowled.
"At least defend yourself instead of sitting there like someone hit your puppy."
"I only make it worse, and I hate the attention. I'm not like you Albus. You have a way with words I haven't."
The scowl didn't vanish from Albus' face, but he kept quiet. What more was there to say? They knew better than to sit down and hope for the best.
XxX
After days of knocking and getting no answer, Professor McGonagall was at wits end. She knew that her former student hadn't left her room at all, and the House Elves had also reported that she would rarely eat her full meal. So she had used another one of her vantages and entered the room, worried beyond caring that she would normally never invade someone's privacy like this.
The young woman had been dear to her since she had joined her house at the age of eleven.
The headmistress found her curled up on her bed, with red rimmed eyes and a bleeding lip.
"Miss Granger!" She shouted and hurried to her ex-student's side. The poor girl was pale and looked like she had a fever. Her eyes opened when she heard her name, but her voice was hoarse.
"I was just a little ill, nothing to worry about." Hermione tried to lie, but knew there was no way the Headmistress would buy her act. She sat up, but felt like there was no energy left to do anything more.
"I'm disappointed!" Professor McGonagall chided her and looked around the unmade room. "Why didn't you ask for help if you are ill, I was worried."
"It's nothing, really." Hermione tried again, but felt herself lean back against the bed. She felt dizzy and didn't want to talk to anyone. The cocoon of self-pity she had wrapped herself in was broken open and she didn't want to connect with the real world again.
"Why would you make me worry if it was nothing Miss Granger? I knocked nearly every day the last week and never got an answer."
Minerva could see that Hermione was lying to her. She was far from fine and whatever she was dealing with was worse than the Headmistress had anticipated. It didn't look like an illness of the body, but of the mind, something she had witnessed many times right after the war. The food was untouched and the young woman sat on her bed with a far-away look in her eyes, hugging herself. Professor McGonagall wasn't sure if it was something she could help the younger woman with and thought of the one woman that had helped so many of them after Voldemort was defeated. She had made sure that the students felt welcome and safe after Hogwarts was finally reopened and had had an open ear for all the Professors and their fears.
"I want you to talk to Poppy Miss Granger."
Hermione blinked and tried to focus on the grey haired witch in front of her. She hadn't noticed that the Professor had moved closer to her. Her head took a second to understand what was said, until she was able to answer.
"Madam Pomfrey? She's still at Hogwarts?"
"Not like she was when you went to school, but she lives in Hogsmeade and visits from time to time to help out in the Infirmary. Hannah Abbott manages Hogwarts' infirmary most of the time."
The Headmistress sat down on a chair next to the bed, her anger had long abided, and she smiled sadly at the woman in front of her.
"We all have regrets, even now, twenty years later. I have lead this school for two decades now, but still feel like I can't do right by Severus. When I learned he was dead, and that my last words towards him would always be those of hate and mistrust I decided I would do better by the other children. I wanted to close the gap between the houses, but nearly nothing changed. I'm not ignorant of the problems we still have here, but I can finally understand why Dumbledore never did more against it. I can't agree with the way he preferred his Gryffindors, but I see now how hard it is to be unbiased. I was Head of House for many decades before I was made Headmistress. In that position I built an affinity for my house, way more than when I was a simple student. I have seen whole families going through school, from mother to child to grandchild, of whom many died in the war. I cheered on my Quidditch team and looked after trouble makers. I always tried not to favour the students of my house, but looking back now I was never as strict with them as with others."
There was a halt in the Headmistress' voice and she shook her head. Hermione didn't comment but looked at the older woman in wonder, trying to understand the deep regret she heard in her voice.
"We all lost too much to carry on as we did, we can't be ignorant any longer. That's the decision I made for myself and I try to live by it."
The woman arose from the chair and smiled fondly at the bushy haired witch in the bed.
"You need to make a decision for yourself Miss Granger. The girl that was sorted into my house, would she have given up like this?"
When the door clicked close behind her, Hermione was still lost in thoughts, trying hard to remember the ambitious, strong girl she had once been.
AN: Eva did the fastest beta work ever this evening because I was in Czechia this week and forgot my tablet, just to come home and have no internet to send it to her.
The good thing is, I saw a lot of great nature and bought myself one or two or three new Harry Potter clothes and Lego on our city trip. I simply fell in love with the Marauders Map pyjama. Age doesn't matter!
On a personal note: I wanted to show the haressment Scorpius is going through. If you ever notice something like that going on around you, please be someone who stands up and confronts people. It doesn't matter if you are small, tall, ordinary, beautiful, deformed, brunette, blond, gay, transgender or simply shy. We all have a right to be who we are, without getting bullyed for it. Others can talk, disagree or laugh about it, but they should do it with dignity!
I'll never forget the days I was bullied for beeing the only girl in an all boys class, because I was the best in technics. The boy who stood by my side more than 20 years ago was my husbands groomsman not to long ago. He's my oldest friend and I don't know how I would have done it without him. It didn't matter to him that I was an outcast, that he was the coolest guy in our class or that we annoyed each other. When they kept coming at me again and again for various reasons - hair, clothes, missing makeup, my name and other things - he made them stop, because it pissed him off to see someone bullied. At that point I had cried myself to sleep more than once, but no one knew, because I verbally opposed my bullys at every turn. You never know how bad a person takes haressing by the way they react im front of you. So please be someone like him and just remind others that they should be fair and polite and not belittle others. #Nooneneedsbullies