Disclaimer: 'Ghosts' belongs to the BBC, no profit made, etc.
My first fic in this fandom. Still getting the hang of the characters, so feedback is welcomed.
Title from the song of the same name by Foo Fighters, which was recently covered by the BBC Live Lounge. Go check it out on YouTube if you haven't already.
Alison slowly counted to ten in her head. She'd long given up on using any mindfulness or meditation techniques she'd learned online, because they'd clearly been created on the assumption that most people didn't live in a haunted house.
"Oh, come on! Surely one of you has heard of an Eiffel Tower!"
The ghosts were dotted around the room, some standing, some sitting. Alison had lost track; she was lying on the sofa with her eyes closed, trying to block them out. But she knew Julian was standing up. He usually did, when he was in the middle of one of his anecdotes.
"We all know what the Eiffel Tower is," said Fanny. "Well, some of us do, anyway."
"Is it a tower?" That was Kitty.
"No, it's a cottage. Of course it's a tower, Kitty!" Without even needing to open her eyes, Alison could picture the Captain pacing with his drill stick behind his back.
"It's in France, isn't it?" said Thomas. "Is it that large tower seen in the background of all those romance films Alison has been showing us?"
Pat clicked his fingers. "Yes! That's the one!"
Alison sighed. Films; if only she had any left to show the ghosts. Among other things, she and Mike had already shown them the Disney movies (Bambi and The Lion King hadn't been as successful as Alison had hoped, since both had thoroughly traumatised Kitty for eternity), the Star Wars saga (she'd had to threaten Julian with no political dramas if he gave away the "I am your father" twist to the others; Pat was nice enough to know better) and the Marvel Cinematic Universe (Pat, being a huge comics nerd, had been especially ecstatic with those, while the Captain had been enthralled by Captain America).
But since they'd finished binge-watching Friends and Doctor Who, they'd all had to make do with daytime telly, which caused nothing but arguments (with the exception of the VE Day celebrations; the Captain had quietly requested everyone watch with him, which they had without squabbling). Anytime Alison wanted to watch Escape to the Chateau, the ghosts would swarm around her demanding other things. What was more, thanks to their low income, she couldn't afford any streaming services.
Lockdown sucked.
"I'm not talking about the actual tower!" said Julian. "I'm talking about the position. Two chaps would stand-up, high-fiving at the top, while the young lady would go down on all fours between them and-"
"SHUT UP!" Alison's eyes snapped open as she leapt up from the sofa and turned on them. They all jumped in surprise at her outburst. "Will you all just shut up for five minutes and give me some peace and quiet?!"
For a moment, none of them knew what to say.
Fanny spoke first. "Young lady, that was quite uncalled for. Even if Fawcett needs to learn when to keep things to himself."
"Err? Hello? Freedom of speech?"
"Free speech comes with responsibility to say nice things to each other," said Robin. He was calm, speaking softly; he'd already picked up on why Alison was angry.
Julian chuckled, waving his finger at the oldest of the ghosts. "No, no. I'll be using my freedom of speech however I like, and if I wish to give informative information about my many exploits, sexual or otherwise-"
"I don't care!" Alison snapped. "I've been stuck inside for most of the past six weeks, and for the last one and a half weeks I haven't even been able to leave the grounds because I've had to self-isolate! And since then, 24/7, I've been pestered by each and every one of you! If all of you don't give me some personal space, I'm gonna lose my mind!"
"Now, see here!" the Captain pointed his drill stick at her. "You think six weeks is hard? We've all been in your same position for years. Robin has been here for thousands of years, and you don't see him complaining!"
"You get used to it." Robin shrugged.
Mary, who had been quiet up until that point, spoke up. "Not like yous in here for no reason. There be plague out there."
"Coronavirus," Alison corrected her. "Or COVID-19, whatever you want to call it."
"Smells like plague to me," she continued. "It's not so bad. Ghosts under us had it, and they's still here."
The Captain looked like he wanted to bang his head against the wall. "They're still here because it killed them, Mary."
"…Oh yeah."
Alison pinched the bridge of her nose. "OK. So I haven't been here as long as any of you. Fair enough. But it's a lot harder for me, because in case you've all forgotten, my husband is in the ICU trying to fight a virus that could potentially kill him, and I can't even go and see him! All I can do is sit here and pray he gets better, and I can't do that with all of you yapping in my ear every minute of the day!"
She didn't wait for any of them to say another word; she stormed out and hurried up the stairs to her room. The moment she slammed the door shut behind her, she regretted her choice of destination; the bedroom still smelled of Mike. She'd refused to clean it since he'd been taken away in the ambulance.
The whole house was a mess. And to think, at the beginning of the lockdown, she'd assumed they'd be able to get plenty of work done. Shop closures and lack of money had put an end to those plans.
From downstairs, the sounds of the ghosts bickering seeped through the floorboards. Alison couldn't make out what they were all saying, but she didn't need to guess to know they were arguing about her. She let herself collapse onto the bed.
She hadn't meant to snap at them. She'd been trying to control her temper since realising how many times she'd lost it after moving into Button House. It was a challenge on a normal day, but had become increasingly harder since the lockdown began.
But the ghosts were no longer the pests she'd thought them to be when she first moved in. Now, they acted more like her family.
Guilt crept up on her, when she realised that the ghosts hadn't even been as annoying as they could've been. They'd just been talking, not even to her.
I should've just removed myself from the situation, she thought. Without shouting at them first. I could've walked around the grounds for the 800th time. I didn't need to yell at them. Me and my stupid temper.
"Mt. Alison erupts again," Mike would say, if he were with her. Normally his words would earn him a glare, but she would give anything to hear his voice again.
"Knock, knock."
Alison turned to see Pat and Thomas stood in the doorway, waiting awkwardly for her to let them in. She smiled at them. "Come in."
"We just wanted to apologise on behalf of everyone else," said Pat, as they walked into the room. "We know this is a really hard time for you, and we should be helping you, not making things worse."
"I appreciate that," said Alison, "but I shouldn't have shouted at you all. Especially in times like these. I don't even know what made me snap."
"Julian's wretched tastes in pleasures of the flesh?" Thomas suggested.
Alison couldn't help the giggle that slipped past her lips. "Yeah, probably."
"We've all lost our tempers in our lives," said Pat. "I did once. Someone made fun of Carol's new haircut and I gave them a very… firm talking to. I even raised my voice."
"You actually shouted at someone?"
"No, not shouted. Raised my voice. Not loud enough to be a shout. It was the angriest I'd ever been."
"Well, let's hope you never get that angry again."
Pat nodded. "If you want to come back down, we'll try and be quiet. But we understand if you need some time to yourself." He gave her a friendly smile before leaving the room.
Thomas didn't follow him; he just remained standing with his arms linked behind his back. Alison sighed when she realised he was hovering.
"Something wrong?" she asked him.
"No." He shook his head. "Just… I would feel awful if something happened to you and I wasn't here to stop it."
Alison smiled, despite herself. She should've known he'd act like this, after she'd told him about her period of depression in her early twenties. "Thank you."
Thomas only nodded and sat down on the bed beside her.
Things were a lot better between them, since she'd finally gotten him to understand that any kind of romantic relationship would never happen. What she hadn't expected was his strong feelings for her remaining, only turning platonic. And that was how she suddenly found herself with an overprotective big brother who could swing between sweetly considerate to annoyingly overbearing.
It was sometimes scary, how much the ghosts had become like a family to her. Pat, the older brother who looked out for everyone; Robin, the cheeky younger brother who liked to mess with everyone (which was ironic, in that he was older than all the ghosts combined); Kitty and Mary, the two little sisters who followed her everywhere and always wanted to do what she was doing; Julian, the creepy uncle who may or may not have a heart of gold hidden deep down; Fanny, the nagging but kind-hearted mother; and the Captain, the stern but well-meaning father.
To Alison, an only child who'd lost both her parents a decade ago, the whole thing was overwhelming. She'd already slipped up once and called Fanny "Mum" and the Captain "Dad", shocking both of them along with herself.
She and Thomas sat in companionable silence until the sound of a car pulling up the drive broke through it. Alison got up to look outside the window.
"It's Molly with my groceries," she said.
Thomas sprang to his feet, eyes lit up with love. "My darling Molly has excellent timing, for I finished composing my poem for her this morning."
Alison rolled her eyes. She knew she should feel bad, that her work colleague was Thomas's latest "woman of his dreams", but she reasoned that the whole thing was harmless since Molly couldn't even see him. And she wasn't too worried about Thomas getting a broken heart; he bounced back fairly quickly when it came to women.
She hurried downstairs with Thomas behind her, just as Molly was knocking on the front door. Alison gave the other woman a chance to step back before opening the door, revealing three Tesco bags filled with food on the doorstep. Apart from Kitty, who was waving at Molly (despite the fact that the other woman couldn't see her), none of the other ghosts had come to see what was going on.
"Thanks, Molly," she said, while moving the bags over the threshold.
"No problem." The redhead leaned against her car. "I got you a few DVDs, too; you said you'd run out of things to watch."
"You're a lifesaver." Alison ignored the fact that Thomas had passed her and was standing next to Molly, reciting his poem. She'd grown used to blocking out the ghosts when she was talking to the living. "How are you?"
"Eh, OK, I guess." Molly shrugged. "A lot of squabbling going on at home. Cabin fever. How's Mike?"
"Still in the ICU." She wanted to tell Molly that she'd almost lost Mike a few days ago; that for a few seconds he'd been gone before the doctors quickly pulled him back. But she honestly hadn't known Molly long enough to confide in her like that, and she didn't want to do so with Kitty and Thomas present.
Molly gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine what that must be like."
"It hurts more that I can't see him," said Alison. "It's better when I'm distracted by other things."
"I'll keep talking, then. So, my brother is all about conspiracy theories, and he's been really getting into all the theories surrounding COVID-19…"
Alison didn't have the heart to tell her to stop or leave, so instead just tuned her out. She turned her attention to Thomas, who was still reciting his poem. She was amazed he'd been able to memorise it all, seeing as he couldn't touch a pen or paper.
Kitty had wandered closer to the lovelorn poet and the subject of his devotion (who was blissfully unaware of both of them). She was hanging off of Thomas's every word, but what surprised Alison was the fact that she didn't look happy with Molly. For a moment, Alison thought she was annoyed that Thomas wasn't getting any attention from the woman he was pouring his heart out to. But then Kitty looked at Thomas again, a familiar emotion in her eyes, and something clicked.
Thinking back to the few times Thomas had poured his heart out to her whenever Kitty was around, Alison recalled that the Georgian noblewoman had always seemed uncharacteristically irritated. Watching Kitty now, she realised it hadn't been annoyance at Thomas's antics or her taking the side of a woman she called a friend.
It was jealousy.
"Alison?"
"What?" She blinked and turned back to Molly, who'd finally stopped talking. "Sorry. Spaced out for a minute there. It's been happening a lot lately."
"I'm not surprised." Molly gave her another sympathetic look. "I should get going. Let me know if you want anything else. I need more excuses to get out of the house."
"Sure. See you later."
Molly climbed back into her car and began to drive away. When Thomas realised she was leaving, he chased after her. "No, wait! I haven't finished yet!"
When Thomas was out of earshot, Alison walked up to Kitty. "Kitty, this might sound like it's coming out of nowhere, but… do you like Thomas?"
"Oh, I like everyone, Alison!" she replied, smiling. "The Captain can get annoying sometimes, and Julian isn't always the nicest-"
Alison shook her head. "No, no. I meant, do you like Thomas the same way I like Mike?"
"The same way you…" Her eyes widened when she realised what Alison was suggesting. "Oh no, of course not! Well, maybe a little bit. Oh, alright, a lot! But why wouldn't I? He's handsome and dashing, and he writes such good poetry! I've been listening to it ever since he was alive!"
"Then why haven't you told him?" Alison asked.
Kitty deflated. "Because he's always chasing after other women. He's never looked once at me."
"Then maybe you should make the first move."
Before Kitty could ask how, Thomas reappeared beside them, looking miserable. "I had hoped the bonds of true love would transcend the barrier between us, and she would hear my sweet words. But alas, she did not hear me, and she cannot see me." He sank onto the bench and sighed. Kitty sat down beside him to give him comfort.
"OK, as much as I want to help both of you," Alison said, "there's frozen food in these bags. I'd ask you to help put them away, but, you know…"
"We can't touch anything," Kitty finished for her.
Alison was about to go inside and grab the bags, but as she watched Thomas and Kitty on the bench, something nagged at her. It was something that had been nagging at her for a while, something that was just out of reach but she couldn't grab. Then Thomas laid his hand down on the bench, and it came to her.
She felt like an idiot for not realising it sooner. And she was shocked none of the other ghosts had realised it, either.
"Guys, question," she began. "You say you can't touch anything, but how can you sit down in a chair or lie down on a bed, or even stand on the second floor of the house without falling through the floor? You're touching the chair or the bed when you're sitting and/or laying on it, so why can't you touch other things?"
Thomas and Kitty looked up at her and their eyes widened.
Alison questioning the others on it was met with equal amounts of shock and embarrassment for not realising it before.
"If you try it, you'll be able to touch things, maybe even pick things up," she said to them. "Then I can stop doing things for you, like turning the telly on and searching up funny cat videos on YouTube."
They were briefly distracted by Humphrey's body walking amongst them, searching for his head, which was nowhere in sight. Alison thought she heard his head somewhere on the top floor, calling out.
"We've tried to touch things, Alison," said Pat. "We've tried many times, especially after Julian got the hang of it. He even talked us through it, but it didn't work."
Julian grinned. "I'm just gifted."
"Just because his method doesn't work for you, doesn't mean you can't find another way," said Alison.
"Forget it, Alison, they're all lost causes," said Julian.
Alison narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you just saying that because you want to be the only ghost with this 'special power'?"
"All I'm saying is," he began to stutter, "it-it would be pointless to try when… when they've already tried and failed, and since I was able to pick it up fairly quickly, see, we can only assume that the… the younger the ghost, the easier it is for them to-"
"I know you by now, Julian Fawcett. When you talk like a politician, it means you're either avoiding the question, or being defensive."
Julian was rendered speechless. He slowly sat down in order to sulk.
"So…" Robin spoke up, "we begin now?" All of the ghosts were watching her, waiting for her to start.
"The sooner, the better," she said. "So, maybe we should start by thinking about what state of mind you all have when you sit down, or lie down, or even climb the stairs…"
It didn't happen right away. It took patience, a lot of work, many failed attempts and a lock of mocking from Julian (Alison got him to shut up again by throwing several books at him, all of which passed straight through him but he was annoyed enough to stomp off). But finally, after a few days, all of the ghosts had gotten the hang of not just touching things, but even picking up things that were under a certain weight. Alison had even taught the plague ghosts in the basement, so they could fix the boiler themselves.
Mary was the last to learn; she was met with a round of applause when she finally managed to pick up a cup from the table.
"I can makes a basket again!" she said. "And milks the cow!"
"We don't actually have a cow, but you can make a basket," said Alison.
While the others were congratulating Mary, Alison's phone rang. She moved away from the ghosts in order to answer it.
A few minutes later, she was in tears.
And the ghosts instantly swarmed around her.
"Prepare yourselves, everyone!" the Captain announced. "Operation Protect Alison, Plan F. Take your positions."
"She doesn't need to be pressured into that safe room in the basement!" Fanny protested. "She needs comfort! No doubt it's about that husband of hers."
They all started talking at once, offering condolences and the like. It took Alison a minute to compose herself enough to speak. "Guys, it's fine! These are happy tears. Mike's finally well enough to leave the ICU. He'll have to stay in hospital for a bit longer, but he's on the mend."
Kitty was the first to latch onto her. Thomas, Pat, Robin and Mary soon joined in the hug, with the Captain and Fanny watching from the side lines and smiling. Julian just rolled his eyes from where he was sitting across the room.
The ghosts felt… odd. They were cold, which Alison expected, but she couldn't feel skin or clothes. Just… coldness. She couldn't describe the feeling.
Probably because the feeling of the hug drowned it out. Alison didn't fight against them, and let herself enjoy it.
"I can't wait to eat proper food again! And drink again! You know what I could go for right now? A nice, cool pint. Did you get anything when you last went shopping?"
Alison smirked. "I bought some Coronas."
Mike just stared at her, disbelieving. "You are a cruel woman. I can't drink those!"
"Tough. They were cheap." She drove through the main gates of Button House and pulled up the driveway. "Just be grateful for what you have."
"I know." Mike sighed. "I can't believe I was actually… you know, gone, for a few moments. That's both of us now."
Alison's eyes widened when she realised something. "Oh, this is gonna be good."
Her husband frowned. "What is?"
"You'll see." She kept on smiling as she parked in front of the house, making sure Mike would be getting out close to the front door. And not just because he was still recovering. "The ghosts missed you. They're waiting to welcome you back."
He opened his door and started to climb out. "Good to know. Not that I'll actually see them- Shit!" As he was climbing out, he suddenly jumped back and ended up landing on the gravel. He didn't try to get up again, and just stared at the front door.
The ghosts were waiting in front of it, and were staring down at Mike in shock upon realising what had happened.
Alison climbed out her side and walked around the car, enjoying the whole thing way too much. "Ghosts, Mike. Mike, Ghosts."
Mike gave a little, uncertain wave from where he was still sat on the ground. "Hello."
The ghosts waved awkwardly back.
It was getting louder.
When Alison first heard the noise, she just assumed it was Julian masturbating (again). But the louder it got, she realised that she could hear giggling, and Julian was definitely not a giggler.
She quickly realised who it was, but didn't want to admit it.
"Are two of the ghosts having sex?" Mike was lying next to her, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling, already not loving his newfound ability to see and hear the ghosts, too.
"Kitty and Thomas," said Alison. "I, um, found out that Kitty has a crush on him, so I, uh, encouraged her to make the first move. Sounds like she did."
"Oh."
They laid still, both now staring at the ceiling, unable to do anything else but listen.
"I'm happy for them both," said Alison. "But…"
"They either need to do it quieter, or shut up."
"Yeah."
Hope everyone is staying safe. :)