So... right, I'm sorry, but this is a short chapter.

If I owned Harry Potter, the world would collapse.

The Synonym of Destruction

Obviously, this was the most cliched thing that had ever happened to Sirius Black. It was so cliched, in fact, that he sometimes wondered if it was all a sham and he had imagined the kiss up from the dark recesses of his brain.

But that possibility crossed itself out when June avoided him as regularly as he avoided her.

Honestly, sometimes Sirius felt so annoyed with everything that happened, and at other times he would be dreaming away of her in that drab dress she had worn on dance night, or thinking – with a goopy smile on his face – about how he had picked the snow out of her hair.

Alternating between these chains of thought, he did not understand what on earth had he meant when he kissed her. He felt like hitting himself at his stupidity. Why had he kissed her? What on earth had prompted him to do that?

So he wandered the halls of Hogwarts like a soul who had lost something but could not remember what it was – until James confronted him.

"Alright, Black," said James with a tinge of dark humor. "Tell me what's going on."

Cornered in the dormitory, with no one else there, and reliable information that everyone else was at class, Sirius knew he had to answer the question. Nevertheless, he tried to stall the man.

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius with an air of nonchalance.

"You know perfectly well what I mean!" declared James, "Who is she?"

And Sirius really, really needed to unwind. "It's a long story," he said.

"We have plenty of time," countered James.

Sirius sighed, and began.

He told James of how he had tortured June with those tricks at the start of the term, and then bullied her into doing his work for him. He told her of how they had become friends. And of how they fought while planning the heist of the teacher's archives. He told him about what he read in June's file. He told him of how they had made peace on the day of the dance. He told him of the day they spent together, and how it ended.

"Well, Sirius, you have yourself in a pickle, don't you?" said James cheerfully.

Sirius laughed darkly.

"What is it about this bird, that is so different?" asked James, a bit curiously, and almost as if he was testing Sirius.

Sirius gripped his hair, "I don't know!" he said in anguish, "She's just... just... just so odd! I cannot place her!" James stepped back as Sirius fell into a rant, "They always say there will be that one girl who will get the better of the badboy. That's what's happening here! Except its not the way they show it in books. I knew many girls who weren't interested and were witty – like they show in the movies – but they never managed to do this to me – whatever the hell this is!"

"Sirius, isn't she too shy to say no to you?" asked James in a small voice.

"That's what it is!" exclaimed Sirius, now in full speed, "The emotions never reach her eyes – she doesn't get close to anyone! She is, quite literally, not interested."

"And then there's her little tit-bits of information, that are more infuriating than herself combined. Why on earth doesn't she have enough money buy pancakes? Why is she so observant? I don't get it."

Everything that had ever frustrated Sirius was coming out in a haphazard pile of spouted rubbish which James was barely able to make the head and tail of. James backed into a bed and sat down heavily, while he surveyed his friend with part fear and part wonder.

"I can not even begin to describe everything that was wrong with our kiss!" Sirius said, stamping his foot on the floor and wildly swinging his hands in the air, "What was that? How is a kiss like that even possible? I have kissed other girls, and I swear to god, that was not a kiss. It was as if she had taken away my capacity to hear anything – it was a blooming, conspicuous, strange, weird, silence!"

"And lord forbid that she knows what she's doing here," Sirius said in a completely serious dramatic, "All I know is, that here I am, with this stupid restlessness, which is unlike any other restlessness I have ever felt before, and this stupid itch over my whole body, which I'm sure was never there before, a craving to see her, and a fear that she'll destroy me if I do. Does she have any idea what the hell she is doing here? GAAAAAH - !" Sirius collapsed into his bed in complete and utter frustration.

James carefully took out his handkerchief and wiped his glasses in a professional manner, "Dear, dear, dear," he said disconsolately, "that's enough information to last me a lifetime,"

Sirius looked at him dispassionately.

"Mates we may be, Padfoot," said James, "You better not tell me that much at one time. Give it to me slowly, you know, like on a daily basis. You could tell me about you torturing her on Monday, and then of you making her your slave on Tuesday, and then -"

"James!" said Sirius sharply.

"Alright Padfoot, you want it straight?" asked James seriously, "You should talk to her."

Sirius placed a pillow on his face and gave a muffled yell.

"I'm serious – er... no pun intended. I know you worry about her – er – what was it? Destroying you?" mused James, while Sirius peeped from underneath the pillow to flash him a look, "Yes, well, if you don't meet her, then how will you know she is destroying you?"

"You have a point there," said Sirius, scratching his head.

"Pshh. I always have a point," said James, "Although it is hilariously funny to see you this way. I'm torn between teasing you and helping you." Sirius scowled at him. "You know I would be torn between the same options if this happened to you, and, knowing me, I would probably pick the first."

"Don't push it, Padfoot," said James with a grin, "I might just start teasing you any minute now."

Saying that he left the room, and Sirius muttered under his breath, "Git."

June Leto was in a very similar state as well. She felt like doing something, but doing nothing, meeting Sirius and not meeting Sirius, not saying anything and wanting to sing all at the same time. Lily had noticed her change in behavior, and had asked her worriedly what was up. June had replied in a perfectly civil tone that she was perfectly fine, thank you very much.

June didn't have anyone to rant to, and more importantly, ranting would be difficult with her stammer. Life was not going well for June at the moment.

No book, no story, no textbook, no song, no idea could do this feeling justice – whatever this feeling was. She refused to give it a label, for that would mean she was going to acknowledge the feeling, and acknowledging the feeling would mean that she would have to face it, of all things. She disliked this state of affairs, she disliked people, she disliked Sirius, she disliked everything.

And it was all his fault. She refused to hear the other side of her brain that said it wasn't. He had always been the synonym of destruction.

And honestly, what was it with her traitorous brain, that it could switch from a black weather, right upto the happiest she had ever been? In the solitude of her terrace, she would smile to herself, for god's sake. If this was not insanity, she just did not understand what it was.

By Saturday, however a letter arrived that made it very clear that she could not be with Sirius. She didn't have a choice in the matter, Sirius was far better off with some normal girl who had a normal past. He did not deserve this broken toy that was her.

However, Sunday morning the train was leaving. Sirius would be gone, and she would have to live without talking to him the whole winters.

She did not sleep on Saturday night at all, managing to stay awake watching the clock turn and turn and turn. Finally, at three in the morning, she got up and left the bed, completely at a loss for what to do, and still wanting to do something.

She cuddled up on her terrace, simply watching the clouds flutter by. She felt icy, completely cold. She hadn't brought anything besides her coat. There were some noises outside at three thirty, but June did not move. Let them catch her and deduct house points. See if she cared.

"Oh. I'm sorry," said a voice from behind. "Mercy me, it's him," said her stupid brain, "I didn't expect you here" he said in unison with June's "N-no, I-I'll leave."

They both stared at each other for a second.

"Can we, talk, please?" he asked.

June gave a quick and nervous nod.

"I'll be going home tomorrow," he began.

June nodded in affirmative, not trusting herself to say anything.

There was a small silence.

"I wanted to talk about... last Sunday, before I left." he said cautiously.

He said it well. Delicately termed 'last Sunday' put it in a third person perspective, as if it had been nothing more than a startling revelation.

June nodded.

"Look," began Sirius, almost too flustered to talk properly, "Look, I just... I don't know what's wrong with me, but I swear to god, if you don't fix it I might have to hunt you down and kill you."

June smiled cautiously, and laughed a little, because that was just how she felt.

"N-not the m-most r-romantic one y-yet," she informed him.

"The whole definition of 'romantic' has changed for me, thank you very much," he said darkly, "and it's all your fault, I hope you understand that."

"B-Black, w-we can't b-be to-together," she said softly.

That was unexpected. Sirius had not contemplated what was going to happen when they spoke, but there was this part of him that had thought that maybe... "I'm not asking you to be," he said, even though there was a sinking feeling of depression in his chest. "I just..." he trailed off, unable to say anything beyond.

"I d-don't f-feel the s-same way," she said, lying horribly.

It was as if she had taken his innards and scrambled them inside his body.

"What?" asked Sirius.

"I j-just..." she raised her hands to the sky, hoping some inspiration would hit her.

Fortunately for her, the situation handled itself from then on. Her sleeves were shaken back and her scars exposed.

Sirius saw them at once. June didn't have time to cower.

He strode over to her, wrenched her hand and pushed the sleeves behind for further inspection.

"S-S-S-Sirius," she muttered as he stared at the scars.

"Who did this to you?" he asked through gritted teeth.

'Fabricate!' Her brain screamed, and she opened her mouth once or twice, while some form of coherency tried to come together in her head.

"Who did this to you?" he asked again, this time more forcefully.

"I d-did," she said, lying wildly.

There was disappointment in his eyes as well.

"Why?"

"I – uh – w-when my m-mother left, tw-two years ag-ago, I sta-started," she whispered. Part lie, part truth. Very good, June.

"Some are recent," he pointed out.

"I sta-started ag-again w-when you w-were be-being aw-awful to m-me," she said, lying through her teeth.

Sirius dropped her hand in horror. This was going to scar him for life.

"I – S-Sirius, p-p-p-please..." she whispered.

But he had gone completely white. "Because of me?" he asked.

June said nothing.

"June, I hope you understand – nothing, nothing – is worth this," he said.

"I'm s-sorry," she whispered, holding her tears back. She was not going to loose all her dignity today.

"I'm disappointed in you, June," he said darkly, "Is that why you started cutting yourself? For a small thing like that? People are mean June. Get over it."

June flinched at his tone.

"June, I don't know what you keep doing to yourself!" he said, "Why do you keep killing yourself?"

June said nothing, and looked at the table, ignoring the cold feeling slipping down her spine. Things were going as planned. If Sirius broke off with her this way, he would leave her alone. She would return to her terrace. Things would go back to the way they were supposed to be.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself Leto! It's about time you saw some sense!"

If this was the right way of going - why did she feel so bad?

"Don't talk to me again if you don't have anything worth saying." Sirius finished. He walked out of the terrace, leaving June free to cry for sometime. June felt like something very important had left her. But it had been the right thing to do. She couldn't afford him getting any closer.

"Have you noticed anything wrong with Sirius?" James asked Lily as they loaded their trunks. Actually, he loaded the trunks since he was tall and strong, and she watched him, unconsciously admiring his muscles.

"A little," Lily said noncommittally.

James raised his eyebrows.

"Alright fine, a lot," said Lily.

A dramatic change had taken over Sirius suddenly. He had been moody, and annoyed, and angry. He had changed these moods with an emotionless kind of stature which was even worse. He was presently sitting at the window, brooding.

The rest of the marauders were also sitting around him, and Remus was watching Sirius suspiciously. Marlene and Mary were chatting animatedly, unable to notice something wrong with Sirius Black.

"Is it something to do with his fan club?" asked Lily curiously, as James got down.

"No, he doesn't care about his fan club that much," said James thoughtfully, "Must be some girl he likes."

Lily scoffed, "Who's that? Firewhisky?"

"You know Evans, much as you have a bad opinion of us, we have never been drunk."

"Why not," said Lily, "Meanwhile, pigs can fly and the lochness monster is not a giant kelpie, but an alien from Mars."

"You know, the both could be true, they're experimenting extensively on pigs these days, and I always had a funny feeling about such a big kelpie," said James. Lily snorted with laughter.

"I wonder who it is..." said Lily.

"Oh, I have it!" exclaimed James suddenly, "Who's that Leto girl that he was going on about?"

"June? Come to think of it, there is something odd there, isn't there?"

"You tell me, Evans. I have never seen my mate in a state like this."

"What do you mean 'state like this'?" queried Lily.

"Lovesick," said James with a smirk.

"How would you know what 'lovesick' entails?" asked Lily, crossing her arms and frowning testily.

"I happen to have been lovesick before Evans," said James solemnly.

"Over whom?" asked Lily crossly.

"You, Evans. First five years of my life, you simply ruined them," James made the impression of stabbing himself in the heart and dying. Lily whacked him on the head, choosing not to say anything about the squirm in her stomach.

Ahem. I'm sorry for that, but once again, it had to be done.