Chapter 68 – So close Harry, so close

"Hermione and me. We... We had problems."

It wasn't news to Harry what his best friend had just told him, but it was the first time Ron ever talked openly about it. Mostly the topic had been deflected by both Ron and Hermione, which made everyone believe it wasn't as bad as their temper let on.

"It started when Rose went to Hogwarts. Suddenly I wasn't needed as much anymore. Hugo was way more independent. Where Rose thrived for attention, he'd rather sit in a chair and read. It was around that year I noticed that Hermione and me had drifted apart. Her work consumed most of her time and she loved it. Maybe more than her family, but for sure more than me. Rose had given us a stability I hadn't known of. Her constant cheerful nature had kept me busy and Hermione smiling. Without her to make us laugh we fought a lot. Hugo grew even more withdrawn and I think he was more than happy to flee to Hogwarts for his first year."

Ron shook his head and couldn't keep his hands still. He played around with his wand without really noticing it, while his whole body was rigid with tension.

"I was always insecure, you know that Harry. Hermione could have taken someone more like herself to make her happy. Someone intelligent and noble. George would have never needed me in the store if Fred was still here. But the kids, they needed me. No one but me was their dad. It's what gave me safety."

Harry nodded in understanding. Ron was a good father, way better than Harry thought himself to be. He watched his friend's affiliation towards his children with envy sometimes.

James never asked for help, he just got up and did it. Albus was the silent type, he sat down and plotted until he had the answer. And sweet Lily never came to Harry for help, she was a mommy's child in every way. Harry knew he was a lot like Hermione in that regard, they trusted their partners to take care of home and children, while they were off to work, doing what they loved. Maybe they both neglected their families a bit too much because of that.

Ron sat back in the armchair and looked at the ceiling while he continued.

"We talked about it not too long ago. Hermione and me. How to make this work. There is a witch, muggleborn like Hermione, that has a marriage consulting agency. It's something that married muggles do when they struggle and we went there a few times. It helps to talk, when there is someone who doesn't judge you, and helps to understand each other. We were growing closer for the first time in years and I was hoping for a happy and cheerful Christmas this year."

Another short break spread out, but Harry kept quiet. Sometimes it helped to give others a moment to gather his thoughts. A tactic he used a lot as Auror. He liked to think he had gotten better at listening to others through his job, but this situation made him uneasy. Had he really overlooked something so major going on in his friends marriage?

"It's what makes all this even worse. Make Hermione's words hurt so much more. And I can't even defend myself. I am thinking about myself when I miss her. I think about the kids that had to spend Christmas without both their parents, because I handled the whole situation badly. When I think about her with Malfoy I feel betrayed, not because I think he would ever take her, but because she's always smiling when I think about them together. I saw the way she ran into his arms. The happiness on her face when she saw him is burnt into my memory."

This time Ron stopped for good and looked straight at Harry for the first time since he started talking.

Harry didn't know what to say. He had known they had problems, but he just thought it was the typical stuff every married couple faced. A few bad chosen words, an argument, but nothing that couldn't be fixed. Thinking back he remembered Rose's words when she had entered the Headmistress office back in September. 'So you're finally getting divorced?'

Even the kids had known, while Harry remained blissfully ignorant.

"I'm sorry Ron. I was so caught up in my own problems I never noticed."

Ron gave a snort and shook his head. His blue eyes were cool, but he finally looked calm.

"It's fine mate, your middle one is not easy to handle, compared to Rose and Hugo. I still can't believe he would do something like that. But Hermione, the new one, reminded me of something. You can't change the past without consequences. So I can't have my wife back, no matter how bad it hurts, and you can't change what he did."

Harry sighed in defeat. He had heard that from so many different people since September, but he couldn't help his feelings. He felt like he had failed his son and as a result, Hermione and Ron too. His friends were the ones with a shattered family, because he had looked away when his son drifted towards the Slytherins. He should have shown Albus that he was better than that.

"Yes, I'll need to watch out for him better from now on." It was a promise to Ron, but also to himself. He would find out the bad influence his son was under and stop it. He still wasn't sure if the Malfoy boy wasn't behind all of this.

"Yes, but I'm worried. No matter what she thinks of me now. She's so wrapped up in her misery." Ron interrupted Harry's train of thoughts by voicing his own concerns.

"She wouldn't do anything stupid Ron, it's still Hermione." Harry was quite sure after their last meet up she was on her way of healing. She had laughed again and shared a joke with Ginny, which had lessened his worries. He knew she now exchanged letters with his wife and Ginny always smiled when she got an owl from Hermione.

"Anything stupid? Like fall in love with Malfoy? Or wanting her daughter back?" Ron's tone was bitter and anxious.

"She knows what she does. But talking about her daughter..." Harry frowned. It was something that caused him headaches too.

"Where did the time turner end up again?" Ron suddenly asked and watched the worried expression on Harry's face. Harry tried to remember what happened the day they had been called to Hogwarts. When they found Hermione, Albus and Scorpius she had lectured them and held the time turner in her hand. He hadn't seen it since, but Hermione had talked about it once. Back when she told him how dangerous the device was in the wrong hands. It made Harry deny Ron's way of thinking.

"She never would Ron, never! Not after the way she ranted at Albus and Scorpius for what they did."

"If you say so Harry. Your words in Merlin's ears." Ron looked calculating now, as if he tried to figure out what step to take next and they both let their thoughts run free.

After a short break Harry carried on about something entirely different, that had to do with the same topic.

"I talked to Theodor Nott this week."

Ron frowned before he remarked, "Isn't he in Azkaban because of all the stuff we found during our raid of Nott Manor?"

Harry nodded, Ron was right after all. He had to fill out a permission paper to visit the prisoner. His listed reasons were only half true, but close enough to get him an hour with Nott in a silenced room with strong privacy spells he had set up himself.

"Yes, but he only got half a year so he'll be out soon. The time turner that started this whole mess was his invention. I hoped for more information."

"And that asshole dared to keep silent?" Ron's outburst did not come by surprise, and Harry shook his head sadly.

"He invented it, but never dared to use it before we found it. He was intrigued it had really worked. To go back twenty years without problems had him astonished and he wouldn't stop asking question. He went as far as promising me he would be in my office right away, once we was out of Azkaban in a few days."

Ron's face twisted in sympathy and he clapped Harry on the shoulder.

"Can this get any worse?"

Harry laughed and tried to joke.

"How about an evil mastermind like Voldemort pulling the strings behind the scenes without us knowing? Maybe he's still alive or got a protégé that finally came into his own."

"Hermione would be furious that you think it's a male again." Harry looked startled, but laughed again.

"Yes, she would be."

AN: My last post before Christmas, so I want to wish everyone reading this a Merry Christmas and hope to hear from you in the reviews.

Spend some lovely time with the people dear to you and enjoy being who you are!

Take care

Angelamore