Chapter 72 - Hugo's dilemma
"What's wrong Hugo?" Rose asked and dropped onto the grass next to her brother. It was damp, icy cold and absolutely the wrong weather to spend outside, so Rose was more than worried when a small little Ravenclaw had pulled at her sweater to intercept her on her way to Gryffindor Tower, on a Friday evening no less.
The girl had waited hidden behind a wall and Rose was sure, that if she hadn't held onto her jumper, she would have overlooked her. It had taken her some time to understand the mumbled explanation, and when she asked the small brown haired girl to repeat herself, the poor thing had blushed deeply. When Rose had finally nodded in understanding, the girl had run off without giving Rose a chance to thank her or ask for her name.
"Nothing!" Hugo said and tightened the jacket around himself to keep warm.
Rose sighed and cast a warming spell over herself and her brother, because she hadn't taken the time to get a jacket.
"You didn't eat anything and sit around in the melting snow at the end of February in Scotland. Everything must be peachy!"
Hugo didn't comment his sisters sarcasm and continued to stare down at the frozen surface of the Black Lake.
"You'll feel better once you told me." Rose tried to sway him into talking to her, but her brother shook his head.
"No, because you can't help me. It's a decision I need to make on my own. I would appreciate it if you would leave me to ponder the reasons for and against it alone. You already came to a conclusion and therefor are biased."
"Hugo, is this about Mum?" The inquiry was made with care and Rose spotted a book without a title on it's spine in his arms, when she leaned forward to look at his face, which he had hidden behind his angled legs.
"Yes. So please let me think this over in peace. It's the reason I came out here, to think without interruptions."
Rose leaned back on her hands and stretched her legs on the ground. She looked up at the darkening sky and searched for the first stars twinkling down at them, thinking about what her brother had said.
Had she really made a decision about her mother? It didn't feel like she had found a conclusion for the situation. They had quarrelled and Rose felt hurt by her mothers reaction, so she avoided her and ignored her attempts to talk. The worst thing was, that Rose knew it was her own stubbornness that stood in her way.
Her Dad had told her where her beloved hair product had come from, when she tried to thank him for it at Platform 9 ¾. It had made Rose even angrier, because her mother should have given them to her herself. The present had had no note attached anywhere.
The words her new mother, as Rose called her in her head, had told her buzzed around her head.
'I was told my daughter was brilliant, so use your head'
Rose didn't feel brilliant, she felt conflicted and ill advised by her head. She loved her mother and while the other words had been harsh, they had been true. Rose liked to be idolised by others and Scorpius' romantic interest in her, while not reciprocated, but had made her feel good.
To date Ian was a strategic move, as much as it was joining the Quidditch team. She liked him, and he was a fine boy for sure, but she had started dating him for his look and his position as the Captain.
Was that the mature way to show Scorpius she wasn't interested? Surely not, but she hadn't felt like acting mature since her mother had told her to do so in that cold, uncaring voice.
"I guess you got a point Hugo, but she'll always be our Mom. Doesn't change what she said, or that I'm totally mad at her. I just can't look at her. She was so cold and I just – " Rose stopped when she noticed she had started to shout. When she continued she tried to keep her voice down. "I miss her Hugo. I miss her so much. She left us without a second thought."
Hugo looked up at his sisters avowal and closed in the last few centimetres between the to hug her. She closed her arms around her smaller brother and they spend the next few minutes seeking comfort in each other.
When Hugo leaned back and sat down next to Rose again, he showed her the book he held in his arms all long.
"She forgot my birthday. There was always a book I would read the night of my birthday in my stack of presents, but this year I found nothing. I knew she forgot us, but it hurt."
Rose leaned her head against his shoulder and they looked at the book in his lap.
"Dad found out and I think he told her, because she gave me a book for History of Magic. You remember how much Mom always ranted about the way wizards treated other magical creatures? The book was about wars between creatures and wizards and she even added notes into it."
He looked down at the plain blue book again and smiled.
"And she gave me this book. Whatever I write in there shows up in her copy of the book. She promised me I could always reach out to her. Either of us could. She asked for time to get to know us, and she apologised for her behaviour."
Hugo looked up into the sky and let his back rest against the cold stony ground. Rose watched him and her heart hurt for her brother. He was always their mothers favourite, just like Rose knew she was their Dads. It had been the reason she had told him to stay away from their mother. He was as intelligent, as he was sensitive. He knew stuff he shouldn't and got hurt so easily.
Rose knew he had a hard time at Hogwarts, didn't befriend anyone of his house, and liked to keep to himself and to family. It made her crossed out with their mother even more. How dare she, to make Hugo worry how to behave around her and add to his problems. Hugo struggled enough without the new situation, and Rose was sure their mothers presence and the rumours now that she had resigned made it even harder for him.
But her brother had to decide for himself, no matter how much Rose wished she could just keep him far away from their mother, until she remembered them.
What would happen if she never remembered? Rose suppressed the thought, but it lingered. Her brother needed his Mom. He needed the support she had always provided as much as her calm guidance. But the woman she had been replaced with wasn't calm, collected or ambitious in the way they were used to.
Rose caught herself comparing this new version of her mother with her old one. Both had rather bad traits combined with something that stood out.
Her mother liked to handle things her way. She could instruct you in a way nobody else could, with small details and step by step. Sadly she rarely found time for it, always taking care of her work, the whole wizarding world and all the other small and big problems out there. Sometimes it felt like her family was just an afterthought and you had to ask her way in advantage to be included into her planning.
Now she suddenly had time and Rose saw her many times in the library or in the corridors. She always smiled sadly and tried to talk to her, but Rose wasn't ready for that yet.
She didn't even know the most basic things about their family and Rose knew there was bad blood between her father and her mother just by seeing them in the same room once. She was logical to a point that it felt cold and uncaring and her temper was not as calm as Rose had known her growing up. If Rose didn't know better she would say her mother was frightened by the students in their school.
It just didn't add up. Was this all really the product of living a different life for the last twenty years? She knew she could wrack her brain until she froze to the ground out here, but she would need to ask to gain answers.
Not yet, Rose decided. It wasn't worth the heartache. Her mother would remember and then they would be a family. This was just temporary.
"Let's go inside Hugo. You have all the time you want to decided. She woun't run away, and even if she does, you got the book to reach her wherever she is."
Maybe the end came across sarcastically, but Rose didn't care. She was cold, tired and felt insecure because of her own thoughts.
Her mother would remember them, right?!
AN: For personal reasons this, again, is unbetaed. Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts :)