Chapter 42

After drying up the rest of my tears and make sure I'm stable I enough, I look at Nepgear who is sitting on my bed as well. Her grimace is still one of worry, and I don't blame her.

"Nepgear… I didn't want to tell anyone this… for fear of weakness."

I lower my head a little before regaining enough composure to speak again. I wasn't lying, I didn't want to appear weak in front of anyone.

"For once in my life… I'm scared."

A few more tears roll out of my eyes as I speak. I was really hoping to avoid her seeing me cry again. I guess it's a privilege reserved for her, and her alone.

It's painful to tell her this… but if I'm going to get passed this I need to let her know. It may give me some closure, and could even let something new unfold. On the other hand, she could finally see me as a freak and leave me.

"Every so often when I sleep, I get a very morbid dream. In these dreams my worst fears come to life."

Nepgear is still listening attentively, the determination in her soul is what's keeping me from passing out or crying more. I need to thank her later regardless of what happens.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I'm taken control of and forced to kill all of you one by one."

The darkness in my voice conveys the overall tone more to Nepgear. She jumps back a little in response to what I said, I would be a little shocked too if I were in her place.

"How… long have they been going on?"

I tilt my head up a little bit and look her in the eyes. She has more worry on her face than I remember her having. Maybe telling her wasn't the best idea after all.

"Ever since the day we met. I had one that night."

Nepgear looks down a little bit, looking a little bit guilty for some reason. She has nothing to be guilty for, it's my own sick and twisted mind on the chopping block.

I sink my head back down. I don't want to see her like this, it burns a metaphorical hole in my chest when I think about how she looks right now.

"I see… we're the cause of this trouble…" I never said that now did I?

Even though I can't see her right now, I place one of my hands on hers. I need something warm right now, recalling what I've seen is really taking a toll on my sanity. It's degrading more that it already has.

"No… you're not…"

"Don't think for a minute you're the cause of them. Even though I can't explain it, I just know it."

More tears roll down my face at this point. Nepgear's self doubt makes me feel uneasy. I know she's not behind the dreams… she just can't be.

"Nepgear…" My voice cracked as I call out to her. "I don't want to lose you…"

"Why would you lose me?"

I fully look at her now, head raised and everything. She can see my tear tracks, my red cheeks, and my quivering lips.

"These dreams feel real… and you're always the first to die in them. Every time I wake up I feel like I just murdered someone."

"Jack…"

"And then after that… everyone else goes with you, at my hand. My mind feels like it can't separate dreams from reality for a while."

Nepgear is speechless at what I tell her. It makes me sound like a crazy man, but I'm sure that she'll understand.

"Until I met you I didn't know what happiness was… After that I began to live again. I don't want to lose you… I can't lose you…" And now the ramblings start. I think I've officially lost my mind.

"Tell me… what controls you?" That's a pretty random question, but it doesn't hurt to answer it. Maybe she's one of those dream interpreters you see on the internet.

"Andrew is there, but it's like he's gained some sort of dark power to play with lives."

Nepgear swallows hard for some reason. I don't see why this would be unsettling to her. For all we know it could just be my hatred for him manifesting into my dreams.

"Don't worry… everything's going to be alright…" Nepgear forms a weak smile on her face followed by tears of her own.

I don't think she understands the reality of the situation. When I dream, I feel like my consciousness is right there in the dream. They actually have the power to scar my mind.

"But it's not alright… I'm scared out of my mind…"

Nepgear takes up her hands and puts them on my cheeks. Her hands get a little wet from where I've been crying tonight., but she doesn't seem to mind it at all. If anything, she's enjoying the dampness of my face.

She rolls her palms on my cheeks and smiles weakly again, almost on the verge of tears herself. I don't know what she did, but I'm already starting to feel better.

I've lost my train of thought, she's made me draw a blank. I was so scared a second ago and now I'm more confused than anything. It might be due to her touch, it does have a calming effect.

"Don't cry anymore… I'm here now, and you don't have to be afraid."

Nepgear moves in closer to the point that our noises touch. My nose isn't nearly as wet as my cheeks, but somehow managed to get caught up in my crying as well.

Before I can think further on the matter, Nepgear closes the gap between our lips. Still sitting up, both of us are now locked in a kiss.

At first I was a little startled that she would do that at a time like this. But after a few seconds, my mind melts away from the pleasure. It's one of the few luxuries I can personally say are mine alone.

Most boys my age who are actually popular and have decent social lives would say a kiss has hardly any meaning. To me though, a kiss is a sign that two people truly care for each other.

And Nepgear has shown she cares for me, many times for that matter. Ever since the night we got together, there have been good times, bad times, and times where I wish time would stop.

Now though… she's turning a bad time into a memorable time.

After a little bit of time passes, we both relax and enjoy each others embrace to the fullest. It feels so nice and warm right now, I forget what I was even upset about.

She unhands my face and moves her arms to my back. I do the same and our bodies get closer than they've ever been before.

The feeling is so overwhelming that my defenses are the first to break this time. Both of us have experimented with deep kissing in the past, but never really decided if we like it or not.

Personally I enjoy the sensation that comes from it, even if it is just the tips of our tongues normally. Whenever it does happen, my mind goes blank every now and again.

Nepgear slides half of her tongue into my mouth, unsure if to go all the way in. I take a stand of my own in attempts to balance out the control in this kiss.

Sliding my own tongue into her mouth, she moans a little from the sensation it offers her. I can't be weak any more, I have to prove to myself that I can be assertive and overcome anything.

I think that's what Nepgear meant to tell me all along. Take away my fears by replacing them with something I love. She's really clever, more than I've given her credit for.

Deciding on what she will do, Nepgear puts her whole tongue into my mouth. As expected, I feel a new wave of pleasure take over my body. It's sweet, but not too strong.

Not long after embraced each other in a closer manner, both of us run out of breath and separate. Usually after the overly long kiss we're done for a little while. Tonight is not one of those cases however…

Almost immediately after we catch our breath, we don't waste time and get back in the same embrace as before. Again, both of our tongues sit comfortably in each others mouths… for the time being.

Getting a new wave of lustful greed, my tongue instinctively begins to glide through her mouth. Nepgear can't help but moan more in response. Her tongue retracts and she loses all of her strength.

In the beginning she was supporting herself, after that stunt I pulled she can't even do that anymore. Her sudden topple forward catches me off guard and makes me lie on my back again.

Having no strength left for a brief moment means she's lying on my torso with no space in between us. Still locked in a kissing embrace, we separate for the second time tonight.

Nepgear's able to hold her head up now, she looks me in the eyes. With her beautiful lilac eyes I feel new warmth growing within me.

"Jack…"

"Nepgear…"

Silence fills the room now, neither of us wants to ruin the moment we're having by accidentally saying the wrong words. I don't want that at least, she's made me do a one eighty on my mood today so of course I don't want this to be spoiled.

We stare into each other's eyes. The beautiful shade of lilac is captivating. If Nepgear was a drug on the street, I'd be addicted to her so fast.

"I love you Nepgear…" I say very softly.

"I love you too Jack…" She says that in the same tone that I did.

She drops her head onto mine, resting it on my forehead and nose. My eyes close, and tears start to pour out of each side.

"Why are you crying?"

"These are tears of joy… I'm happy that you're in my life…" I mean that with all my heart.

Nepgear closes her own eyes in response, and much like mine a few tears escape them. Dripping onto my face like raindrops, I know that she's crying for the same reason I am.

"You were afraid to lose me… But I'm not going anywhere."

Those dreams made me feel that way sure. Now I know that that's all they were, dreams. Nothing my subconscious can do will scar me now, and I have one hell of a girlfriend to thank for that.

"Nepgear…" More tears start to build up around my eyes. "Waaaahhhh!"

My head goes past hers and into her left shoulder. She accepts me and places one of her hands on my head to comfort me. She's really caring, even if I am making her clothes a little damp.

"It's alright, let it all out. You don't have to be scared any longer."

"*Sniff* *Sniff* *Hic*, I'm not scared of those dreams anymore."

Nepgear puts more pressure on my head with her hand. All my tears are gone now so it results in me feeling better with her comforting touch.

"I'm just worried… about what will happen if another one comes."

That is a legitimate concern of mine. Sure I'm table for now, but if another one happens then it could put me back in the same mess as before.

"If you're worried… then why don't I just spend the night?"

I'm sorry but I don't think I heard that correctly. Nepgear wants to spend the night with me? I'm not sure how to take this actually.

On one hand it might be a little weird since it's the first time this has happened. On another hand, her presence could put my mind at ease, eliminating the possibility of another dream.

Being the sane teenage boy that I am there's only one answer that I could pick and not get ridiculed for it.

"O-Ok…"

"Alright then, I'll go back to my place and get something to wear."

Just as she's about to get up we both realize something. The position we're in is a bit awkward and was more of a heat of the moment sort of thing. I actually have no idea how we got there in the first place.

"Um…"

Nepgear's face had gone back to its normal color about a minute ago. However, it's now back to the splendid shade of crimson that's just adorable to look at.

Oh who am I kidding? My face is in the exact same state that hers is in. She could easily just say the same thing about me.

Quickly pushing herself off of me by using my chest to balance herself, she gets off my bed and starts to make way for my bedroom door. I hide the pain from her touching my chest. Even if it has some gauze on it, it's still vulnerable to pressure.

Nepgear exits my room and I'm the only one in here again. Since she's getting herself ready now would be a good time to get ready myself.

Knowing Nepgear she'll be stalled and lectured by Neptune for no apparent reason. Which means that I have ample time to do what I need to do.

First off, I'm going to get a shower. Being in bed all day has made my body gleam with sweat. Then that coincides with the other thing, replace the pillow cases and sheets with my spares.

They've been drenched with sweat for a good majority of the day. I don't think she wants to sleep on the couch we have, so she'll probably try to take the floor in respect.

I'm not cool with that so I'll offer her the bed while I sleep on the floor. Then after some awkward conversation we'll both end up sharing the bed further increasing our relationship.

That's just a guess of what will happen, from prior experiences of course. But why am I thinking about how it's going to go? That shower isn't going to take itself.

My shower was quick, I needed it to be so I could have time left to prepare things. Now all I need to do is get to my room and replace the sheets and pillow cases.

Not even fully dried off, I exit the bathroom and make it to my room. Quickly opening the closest finding my spare sheets and pillowcases.

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

Oh dear god Nepgear must be here already. I know it can't be Maurice since he wouldn't have knocked. Even though I have the sheets in hand, I'm still only wearing a towel around my waist.

"D-don't come in yet!"

"Ok." I hear Nepgear on the other side of the door speak to me. So I was right after all.

There isn't much time so I do the only thing I can. Rapidly drying myself off this time, I find my nightwear. It consists of boxers, shorts, and a T-shirt.

After putting it on I throw my towel in the hamper, now things are ready to get started.

"Ok, you can come in now."

My door opens and Nepgear walks through wearing different clothes than I remember her being in. From the looks of it, she's wearing light pink polyester pajama bottoms with a plain white shirt on top. Her feet are covered by slippers to match the shade of pink that her bottoms are.

At first sight of her the only thought that comes to my mind is "Wow…." She found a way to make nightwear look good.

Keep your mind straight… remember, she's just staying over to prevent you from going completely insane. Nothing more than that right?

Then why can't I control this feeling inside? It makes me feel warm and fuzzy the only way that Nepgear can make me feel. It's almost second nature to me at this point.

"You look… nice." That's all I'm able to make out at the moment.

Nepgear blushes, I guess she's still not used to compliments. That or she just hasn't let anyone other than Neptune see her like this and she's totally embarrassed.

She looks back up to me and makes eye contact. I think a few weeks ago, we wouldn't have been able to do something like this. Whether it be me complimenting her or her actually looking back at me.

"You look pretty good yourself." Nepgear says shyly, still nervous but great improvement.

I just remembered that I have to change the sheets still. I can't have Nepgear sleep in my dream sweat mess. It goes against my code of honor and everything.

Walking back over to my bed I remove the old sheets and pillowcases. Nepgear looks at me in a confused manner. I take it she doesn't see what I'm doing.

Getting on top of my bed, I put in the corner that's closest to the corner wall, being the hardest to reach and all. Afterwards the rest of the corners are tucked in nicely. The pillows next are covered up to be nice and comfy.

"Sorry about that, I need to get another blanket for the floor."

Nepgear looks at me with a puzzled expression. "Why does the floor need a blanket?"

"I was going to sleep there while you took the bed."

Nepgear's demeanor changes to startled. I take it that's not what she was expecting at all. So my prediction was incorrect… I need to get better at those things.

"WH-what? No… I thought we'd… share the bed…" Nepgear's voice is really timid when she says that. I don't think I've ever heard her use that soft of a tone before.

While I'm not opposed to the idea, it just seems a little weird. We're only a little over a month into our relationship and this is what's happening. I might be inexperienced in this field, but to me that seems like it's moving fast.

I don't know, maybe all this time she wanted to go a little bit faster. Or she could just like me enough to be able to share a bed. Either one is possible, but both make me seem even more inexperienced when it comes to girlfriends in the end.

"Well… if that's what you want…"

Nepgear yet again changes to a more cheery attitude. My guess was she was afraid of what I would say and in turn went nervous mode.

So that's what she wanted, but she cared enough to get my opinion first. I swear sometimes I don't think about how lucky I am to have found such a sweet girl.

"*Yawn*" Nepgear lets off a yawn.

"It is pretty late, you thinking about getting some shuteye?"

Just a second ago she was cheery, now she gave me a tired nod. Man, peoples energy levels can change in the blink of an eye. I'm pretty tired too even though I've been sleeping all day, so I'll sleep now too.

She walks over to my bed and hops right on in. My room is cold year round, so I have three layers on my bed. A warm blanket on the bottom, a sheet above that, and a comforter on top.

Nepgear takes the right side which is closest to the wall and gets under all three layers.

I turn out the lights and make my way there as well. Lying down on the left side, I only get under all the blankets as well.

"*Yawn*" Nepgear gives another yawn, this time a little louder.

"Good night Jack and sweet dreams…" She lays her head down, and before I know it she's sound asleep.

"Goodnight…"

I'm not going to sleep yet, I'll stay up a little longer and make sure she actually gets to sleep alright. But I'm amazed on how well she's taken to another bed. It's slightly remarkable.

I'll go to sleep soon, but I fear my dreams will be anything but sweet.

A/N: Man this chapter was fun to make. I really hope every reader, new and old can enjoy it to the fullest. I know it goes on a lot of mood swings but it's just how I imagine things going.

Plus Nepgear could totally calm down any situation that I was having in real life.

Also, 100 reviews, thank you so much loyal readers. Every new review can relight a spark inside when I feel like there just isn't any fire left in me.

Again, reviews are highly encouraged and so are follows and favorites. Because this isn't just my story, it's everyone's story if that makes sense.

Until then, see you in the next update.