Dick tried opening his eyes which still felt heavy. He felt the excruciating pain in his head almost as if his skull was being cracked open. He felt breathless. He was grasping for air until he finally got both his eyes open and a familiar beeping sound was heard. He looked around him, seeing all but white—the walls, the ceiling, his dress? Oh, he's in a hospital. No, not a hospital…he's in Dr. Thompson's clinic. He tried to sit but the slightest move brought lots of pain.

"This is totally not whelming" he said to himself. What happened?

Before he can think of his next thought, a familiar voice warned: "I wouldn't do that if I were you"

"B! it …urts" his voice cracked

"Yeah chum, it does, I'm really sorry. That's why you still have to rest. I'll go ask Leslie if we can up the dose of the pain relievers." Bruce said leaving the room. Dick looked around him, still recollecting what happened. All he can remember was that they were on a mission but none aside that. He laid flat on the bed when Bruce and Dr. Thompson came back.

"You still need to rest, Richard. Try to relax so you'll recover fast, okay?" the woman told him.

He was out for three weeks now. He wouldn't recover that quick if it weren't for Dr. Leslie's great care. He really need to be more careful on missions since he can see how the woman is so concerned about him each time he gets is butt kicked like this.

"Good news, chum! The team can come visit you today. Just try not to annoy them enough so you get another beating spree from your friends"

Beating spree? Oh, yes. He was beaten and it was so disturbing…superman heavy in the dis and his team got to watch every hit the joker and Harley gave. They watched as he was strangled and electrocuted. They watched each wound from the knives and heard joker's terrifying laugh. It was just another encounter with the crazy clown. Dick wouldn't mind really, he'll just store it to his databank of nightmares and embarrassing moments but this one's different. His team got to witness all that. He saw their tears and heard their screams. He heard them beg for Joker and Harley to stop. He thought Bruce's pleas for Riddler to stop were painful enough but what was more painful than Joker's blows were his team's shouts.

"Oh my, this is totally not gonna be whelming" he said to himself.

The door opened and the girls rushed to him giving him a hug from the bed.

"Ouch" Dick said shyly. "Easy girls, the bruises still hurt." The Artemis punched his shoulder "Ouch!" Dick now shouted. "That's pretty harsh, Arty"

"You're such a Dick you know that! I am sure glad that you're still alive so we can kill you ourselves" she gave the irritated reply.

"You got us all worried, why did you do that?" M'gann asked with the most soft voice she had tears still forming in her eyes.

"So uncool dude!" Wally stated.

"I'm really sorry guys…I know I should've but if anyone of us can really handle Joker and his insanity, It would be me." Dick responded slowly, pain still extant from his voice and eyes.

"We're a team, Robin. We must work on these missions together. And you can't take all the punishment for our wrong moves alone" Kaldur reminded him.

All throughout the conversation Zatanna just sat by his bed side, Dick's hand on her leg and was silent. Dick knew that look. It was Zee's look of drowning in her own thoughts again. Dick really wanted to sit and brush her hair and comfort her but this time it's not just loneliness which he sees in her eyes, there's fear and guilt and anger? Why Zee? He wanted to ask.

"You'll still need to stay here. Get all the rest you need. Bruce said you have three broken ribs and your right shoulder's dislocated." Kaldur said telling their other team mates through the mind link to leave and let Robin rest. They all argued of wanting to stay and keep Dick company but Aqualad did not approve. He commanded everyone to leave but Zatanna requested for just five minutes. "Ok" kaldur answered as their other team mates tailed behind him.

Zatanna bursted into tears the moment the door closed.

Dick tried to move his left arm and reach for her but Zatanna mouthed "Pots!" loudly.

Dick was shocked. "What were you thinking? What was all that for? You should have let them take me. It was my fault I tried a spell that I haven't mastered yet and it didn't work out. Why do you have to sacrifice yourself back there?" Zatanna said tripping over words. She was sobbing.

"I…I don't….I'm really sorry Zee please don't cry" Dick said

"You don't know how we all felt watching you get beaten to pulp while laughing uncontrollably" Zee said tears still continuously falling. Dick remembered that his team mates were sprayed with Joker's laughing gas and were laughing the whole time Joker was breaking him.

"He could've killed you, Dick and we can't do anything about it. It's my fault and I can't do anything about it. I felt so helpless, Dick. Do you know how that feels? To feel so helpless and useless that you can't do anything to save someone you care about?" Zee continued.

Kaldur opened the door and asked Zee that they're going back to the mountain. Zee left without a word.

Days passed and Zee was not answering any of Dick's calls or texts. Dick was still resting in the manor and Alfred did not allow him to go to the mountain until he regained his strength. Dick was so worried and kept asking KF about Zatanna.

Back in the mountain Zee's phone vibrated. The message reads that it came from Robin.

"Why won't you answer it?" asked M'gann. Zatanna started to cry and hugged the Martian.

"I can't M'gann. I can't talk to him. My heart breaks every time I see him in that state because of me. I…I don't know.

"Just give it a chance, Zee. I'll read it for you." M'gann opened Dick's message and said: "Robin said that you meet him at the Gotham circus tonight."

"Should I go? How would I know what to say?"

"You'll know. Just go there."

The breeze was cold and stubborn. Dick still feel the pain running down his spine. Both nervousness and fear mix as he looked at his watch and around him waiting for his girlfriend to show up. Finally Zatanna came. Her face all blank but still beauty emanating from her raven black hair.

"Thank you" were the first words that escaped from Dick's lips.

"Why here?" Zatanna asked.

"I..wanted to show you something" Dick grabbed her hand as they entered their way to the tent.

The place was abandoned. Zatanna was confused as to where Dick was taking her. He took her to the middle of the ring and kneeled to the dusty ground and started to sob. It was her first time seeing her almost fearless boyfriend cry. He was shaking. He was…he was broken.

Zatanna kneeled with him and rubbed his back. "Dick" she said softly.

"This is the answer." Dick replied

"Huh?"

"The answer to your question. Yes, Zee. I know how you felt. I know how it is to be helpless and useless while your world comes crumbling before your very eyes and you can't do anything about it."

Zatanna was speechless.

"This, this is where I lost them. Mama and Tata. I lost them when one heartless man removed the safety bolts holding the trapeze the night of our performance here in Gotham. I felt soooooooooo helpless" Dick continued crying trying real hard to keep his words complete. "My world collapsed and I wasn't able to do anything." He sniffed "Bruce saw everything. He took me in, trained me until we were able to give justice to my parents' deaths. Since then, I knew I wanted to keep the innocent safe. I knew I won't let others have the same lost I had. Then I met the team. I met you. And now the nightmares kept coming. When scarecrow let out the gas I dreamt about you…all of you…Bruce and Alfred and the team. I can't..I can't lose anyone anymore tha…that's why I'd do everything just to keep you guys alive. Just to keep you alive."

Zee was crying then. She couldn't contain the flooding emotions. She couldn't say a word. Once again, she's lost for words. She doesn't know what she feels.

Dick raised his head, looked straight in her eyes: " I can't lose you"

Dick knew what he wanted. His look to her eyes somehow put the answer in her mouth. Suddenly, she knew what she wanted also "I can't lose you also, Dick. And if this is your way of not losing me then I'm sorry. It's not…working."

Dick was startled.

"If not losing me means killing yourself in the process then..I..I can't allow that." Zee continued.

"I won't allow that. I'm sorry." Zatanna said standing up and walking away.

Dick stood and shouted her name

"Zatanna!"

"UOY EVOL I" those words hit straight to her heart.

Zatanna stopped. Confused…out of words…out of breath then continued running.