Title: Back to Us
Pairings: Kara/Lena
Summary: Kara tells Lena that she's Supergirl. This is told from Kara's POV.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of its characters, this is strictly for fun.
Chapter Three
I was selfish
Couldn't help it
But I still care about you, still care about you, now
I know I'm stubborn
But I still think about you
They don't tell you how much it'll hurt to lose a part of you; in fact they don't tell you how much a part of you someone has become when you fall in love with them. When Mon-El had to leave earth I thought for sure I would never heal, but I did. I thought I would never be so broken, but then again here I am now. Lena hasn't texted or called in two days. I have reached out and all my attempts have gone unanswered. I stopped staying at her loft and have been camping out on Alex's couch. Maggie hasn't seemed to mind but I know I'm cramping their life together. I've flown by the loft a few times and I've seen her there, sitting in the darkness and sipping on her scotch. I watch as her phone lights up from my call and I watch as she ignores it. Even in my worst dreams I never thought she'd react like this.
Cause maybe it was me
I just couldn't see
But maybe it was me who fucked it up
Coming up to Alex's balcony I'm ready to go inside but I can hear Maggie and Alex talking, having a romantic night together, probably thinking that I wouldn't be home for a while, since it was a slow night here I am. I can't interrupt them again; Maggie won't stand for much longer. They're trying to start their life together and I came barging after Lena and I had out fight. Well, you can't even call it a fight because she didn't speak to me and she hasn't answered any of my message, we haven't even had the chance to fight. With that I turn and I fly away, maybe they'll have something at the D.E.O for me to do.
Maybe everything was all my fault
And I regret
All the times
Of leaving you, in the back of my mind
'Cause maybe it was me
And I just couldn't see
But maybe it was me
Looking back on it now I don't know why I hid it from her for so long, why I waited four years to tell her. She showed over and over again that she could be trusted, showed over and over again that wanted to do good, and still every time I pushed her away and continue to lie to her. Even after her and I started dating and getting even closer, I still had Jon show up as Supergirl while I was with Lena in order to convince her that I wasn't Supergirl. Why? Why didn't I tell her the night we moved in together, why didn't I tell her that night on the jet? Why didn't I tell her that day I saved her from Mercy? Why did I continue to lie when I had all these chances to tell her the truth and for us to progress our relationship.
Magnified all of you flaws in my head
We know that I've got mine too, I've got mine too
Wonder if you have forgiven me yet
'Cause I am still trying to, I am still trying to
I hate what I did to her; I hate how I lied to her. Most of all however, I hate the way she looked at me when I finally told her. The hurt and betrayal that she felt in those moments when the words left my mouth were reflected in her eyes. It was almost like I was physically hurting myself by seeing that, by watching the tears form in her eyes as she looked at me like she didn't even know who I was. It was in that moment that I want to reach for her and kiss her and tell her than I love her but I knew then wasn't the time.
Oh, I finally realized
I've opened my eyes
And now I see
I've never told Lena that I love her. I wanted to tell her so badly but telling her in that moment would have been completely wrong. If I would have told her in that moment it would have just been to avoid a fight and she doesn't deserve to hear in that way. She deserves to hear while I show her that she's the only one in my life that has my fully heart. She deserves to hear to hear it with the full weight of my love behind it. Not just because I didn't want to fight.
'Cause maybe it was me
And I just couldn't see
But maybe it was me
Everything has been my fault, since the beginning, what Lena and I are going through right now, it's all my fault. At the D.E.O I notice all the lights are off besides for two computer screens, the overnight crew, so clearly there is nothing going on here. Good, there is something I need to do. I need to talk to Lena; I need to make things right between us. I take off towards our loft.
When I get to the loft I see her sitting there, in the same spot drinking her scotch. It's become her nightly routine. I take a deep breath and make my way down to the balcony outside of the bedroom. As I walk into the bedroom I let a sigh of relief come over me as I notice that she didn't move any of my stuff and she hasn't gotten rid of ant of my clothes. I quickly change into a pair of sweats and a baggy sweatshirt. Before I realize it I'm heading out into the living room, she doesn't turn to look at me, but her voice breaks the silence before I have a chance to speak.
"We're a team," she says simply, bluntly. "We are a team." She puts her glass down on the table in front of her. She stands and looks at me. "Kara, we are a team. You and me. Lena and Kara." She's walking towards me, and for a girl made of steel I'm slightly terrified. "We can't have secrets," she motions between the two of us. "Between you and me."
"I know Lena, and I'm so sorry. I was just trying to protect you," I say reaching for her and I am grateful when she doesn't pull away. "If my enemies were to find my identity they could use you against me, I didn't want to put you in danger."
She lets out a small laugh. "In case you haven't noticed danger tends to follow me around, after all I am a Luthor." She comments. "Your enemies are going to use me against you no matter what because people know I know Supergirl, I've worked alongside you, helped you save the world. That alone will put me on the map for people to use against you, not the fact that I'm sleeping with you!" she turns away from me running her fingers through her hair.
"Lena…"
"Kara," she turns back around and holds up her hand. "Always come home." I blink at that statement, caught off guard. "We aren't always going to agree on things, we're going to fight, we're going to have our moments where we don't really want to be around one another, that's how relationships work." She pauses taking a step forward. "But no matter what, no matter how mad you are or how mad you think I am, you need to always come home, to me, to us. Because I can face anything the world throws at me, but only if I have you by my side," she takes my hands looking me in the eye. "And I mean you Kara, not Supergirl, because like I told you before," she cups my face with her hand. "You're my hero."
"You're okay with all of this?" I ask looking her in the eye, searching, hoping for an answer.
"Not yet," she says honestly. "But I will be, eventually. But…" she pauses. "No more lies Kara, none, if you lie to me again, I don't know if we'll be able to make it through."
I take her face in my eyes. Blue eyes meet green. "No more lies, ever." I say to her just as much as I say to myself. I cannot lose this woman in front of me; therefore I will have to be completely honest, no matter how scared I may be. I lean in and I press my lips to hers, a sensation I have missed so much in these last two days. The feeling of her lips pressed against mine, the feeling of her arms wrapping around me and her body pressing against mine.
She pushes me against the nearby wall as our kiss deepens. Jumping up I catch her easily and she wraps her legs around my hips and I carry her to our bedroom. Oh how I have missed the smell and taste that is, simply put, Lena Luthor.
As the sun shines through the loft window it slowly crawls up Lena's naked back to where her head rests on the below. In about five minutes her morning alarms are going to go off and she's going to have to turn herself into Lena Luthor, CEO. I'm the only one who gets to see Lena Luthor, the person, masks down and defenses disengaged.
Slowly her eyes begin to open, which is the case with most mornings, the sun wakes her up well before her alarms do. She looks at me, smiles, and pulls the blanket up over her face. "Why are you staring at me?" she says as I pull the blanket down revealing her eyes.
"No reason," I comment leaning over and kissing her. She wraps her arms around my neck as I push her onto her back climbing on top of her. "We still have five minutes…right?" I ask kissing along her jaw line and down her neck. As if on cue her alarm starts going off from the bedside table. "Guess not."
She laughs slightly and pushes me off of her as she climbs out of bed. "A CEO's job is never done," she wraps the sheet around her body and heads towards the bathroom. Could things be any more perfect between us, could she be any more perfect? Laying on my back I look up at the ceiling smiling. This is my life now, happy, with Lena. Just like she said when we first met. Who would have thought a Super and a Luthor working together? Well who would have thought a Super and a Luthor, in love?
Just then my phone starts to ring from the bedside table. I see Mia's name on the caller ID. "Mia? What's up?" I ask quickly sitting up in bed.
"Kara, you need to get to the Catco. It's James, she's been shot."
I drop my phone and rush into the bathroom. "Kara!" Lena shouts as I throw the shower curtain open. "What's wrong?" she must have finally noticed the worried look on my face.
"It's James," I say and her eyes narrow to mine. "He's been shot."
Disclaimer: The song in the beginning is "Maybe it was me" by Sody