"I had another idea," Evey announced one afternoon.

Tony was sitting with her in the conservatory, enjoying the smell of her bergamot tea. It wasn't coffee, but it was still pleasant. As was the company.

"Is it a bad idea?" he asked with an easy grin. Evey had come up with some crazy ones in the past few days, since the Questing Beast disaster.

Oddly enough, Tony felt much more comfortable around Evey now that his future had been foretold. Why resent Evey and Walden's happiness, when they were obviously meant for each other? Why would he be jealous, when he knew that his one true love wasn't even born yet? Tony had no claim on Evey. He had no reason to cling to his pathetic crush on her.

Evey was clearly confused by his newfound cheerfulness, which had been gone for far too long. She must have expected him to be depressed, after being told that he would not find love for centuries. But if he knew that for a fact, why bother be unhappy about it? Why push Morgana away? She liked him. He liked her. She may come to love him one day, and Tony wouldn't return the feeling in full, but that was the best he could hope for, apparently, so why resist it?

He had no choice but to accept his fate. If he didn't, he knew he would go insane. There was no alternative. Besides, he might be dead before he had time to be truly unhappy, according to the Questing Beast. He wished it had specified when that "Turning Point" thing was supposed to happen.

Oh well. That was something to look forward to. And Evey seemed much perkier, now that Tony had accepted his doom. That was the most important thing.

Still… If the Questing Beast had not been an absolute wanker, it would have warned them that they had brought one…living being too many before insisting on foretelling someone's future. If they'd known beforehand that Nana counted as a member of their party, they would have chosen her to receive the foretelling. Though it wouldn't have changed anything about the fact that they'd failed majestically in their task, it might at least have made the aftermath less awkward. The only person who was worse than Walden at comforting people was Evey.

Evey shot him a reproachful look. "At least I have ideas," she pointed out. Tony gestured for her to go on. "We could summon demons," she said conversationally. "Or even try to appeal to the gods." She looked at him expectantly, a hopeful glimmer in her eyes.

"Well, it's not a bad idea," Tony admitted. Evey started to smile in acknowledgement. "It's a dreadful one," he went on.

She frowned. "What? Why?"

How could she possibly think that either option was a good idea? "V, summoning demons is the second worst idea in the world," Tony explained patiently. "The first being involving the gods in mortal affairs."

"But a demon… I know they can't be trusted. I'm not stupid. But once it's in the pentagram… It has to do our bidding, doesn't it? We could just ask it to kill some Death Eaters. Bellatrix, for instance. Or Travers."

Tony noted that she hadn't suggested Rodolphus. She was still intent on killing him herself, apparently. "How much do you know about summoning demons, exactly?" he asked.

"As much as any witch, I guess. They don't teach us the specifics at Hogwarts. Draw pentagram, summon demon, give orders, banish." She snapped her fingers for emphasis.

"So…you don't know anything about it," Tony concluded.

Evey rolled her eyes. "And I suppose you do? Of course you do. You know everything, don't you, O Ancient One?"

Tony chuckled. Ancient One was certainly better than Woeful One. "For one thing," he said, "I know that you can't hope to summon any useful demon without an adequate sacrifice. Lesser demons are easy enough to lure to the surface world, granted. But they're about as useful as a handful of Knuts." He met Evey's eyes. "They're not very bright, but they're more cunning than you'd think. They'll do anything to escape the pentagram, and even if you manage to keep them under control, they'll likely botch any job you give them."

"No lesser demon, then. Greater ones. That's what I had in mind, anyway. We could summon Abaddon, or Asmodeus, or even Fen-"

"Are you out of your bloody mind?" Tony exclaimed, genuinely concerned about her sanity now.

"What?" she said defensively. "They're not useless, right? Hell, any of them could slay Vol…You-Know-Who."

Tony massaged his temples slowly. "V, you do understand that greater demons don't have to answer summons, yes? Once they're in the pentagram, they're trapped, it's true. But it's entirely up to them to show up in the first place."

"But if so…" Evey said with a frown, "why would they ever appear on the surface, knowing that they would be imprisoned within the pentagram? I mean, they do appear occasionally, don't they?"

"Sure they do. I assume they get bored. Greater demons cannot be controlled, though, even if they're technically confined within the pentagram." He glanced at Evey, trying to convey how important this was. "I've never heard of anyone having a successful encounter with a greater demon, V. Often as not, the summoner dies a horrific death. We're probably lucky that no demon has ever escaped and unleashed literal hell on earth."

There was a short moment of silence. "You've done it before, haven't you?" Evey asked, her eyes narrowed.

Tony nodded reluctantly. "Once. With Walden. But it was a very minor demon."

"Was it a request from Voldemort?"

Tony hesitated. It would have been a good excuse for doing something so incredibly dangerous and stupid, but, alas... "No," he admitted eventually. "Back at Hogwarts. We were…experimenting."

Evey looked incredulous. "And you weren't expelled?"

"No one ever found out. We did it in the Room That's Not Always There."

Evey snorted. "The what now? Did you just make that up?"

Few people knew about the room, Tony suspected. Walden and he had had it to themselves for years. "It's a room that only appears when you need it," he explained. "At least I think it does. We're not sure how it works, exactly."

"You're pulling my leg."

He shook his head. "Ask Walden, if you don't believe me."

"I will," Evey assured him. "But why were you attempting to summon a demon? What happened?"

Tony didn't answer her first question, instead focusing on the second. "We managed to summon a minor demon. Like I said, it's easy enough. They'll come for food. I guess they don't have Fizzing Whizzbees, wherever they dwell." He paused, remembering the creature. "It looked like a dog-sized insect. A giant bedbug, except it was a bright, electric blue. It stank like spoilt milk and it was covered in luminescent slime."

Evey leaned forward, excitement plain on her face. "Did it talk? I've always wondered if demons could talk, or if they communicate by telepathy, or something like that."

"It spoke to us, but I couldn't make out the words. They came out as a clicking sound, like…Klingon." They'd been watching reruns of Star Trek, mainly in an attempt to forget about the whole Questing Beast debacle. "It was Cthulhian, as it turned out. Walden understood some of it, and he managed to reply. The demon wanted to know why we'd summoned it, of course. We didn't want anything, in truth. It was just a silly game. We were pissed, alright? It was the day after our last O.W.L. examination." Tony shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Anyway. It tried to manipulate us into releasing it into the world in exchange for treasures."

"But you didn't," Evey said with an arched eyebrow.

"Of course we didn't! We weren't that drunk. Still, it was compelling. It mentioned magical artefacts, relics that have been forgotten for aeons and could make us rich and all-powerful."

"Thankfully, you were already rich," Evey said with a smirk.

"Yes. But I was also young and stupid, which is why I almost gave in. Walden had to physically restrain me. He banished the thing and we agreed to never mention it again."

Evey studied him for a moment. "Well, it turned out fine in the end, didn't it?" she said dismissively. "Was it true, though, what it said about the artefacts and relics?"

"No idea. Walden said it probably was, but we'd be foolish to trust the words of a giant blue bug to provide them for us."

"You could have agreed and killed the thing afterwards," Evey pointed out. "Artefacts or not. At least you'd have known for certain."

"It would have been reckless. We had no idea what the bug would do, once it was freed from the pentagram. Demons are powerful, even the lesser ones. They only appear meek and non-threatening when they're trapped." He said that as if it was obvious, but Evey's suggestion was the same that Tony had made to Walden, all those years ago. He'd been certain that they could handle the creature. "As for greater demons," he went on before Evey had a chance to mention them again, "to even stand a chance of summoning them, you must make a sacrifice, like I said. And I don't mean a mouse or a frog. I mean a human sacrifice."

Evey raised her hands in surrender. "Alright, no demons. What about the gods?" she prompted him.

"The main problem with calling on the gods is that, sometimes, they answer." There were no official records of such occurrences, but many witches and wizards had tried to do it, over the centuries. They had either died a horrific death or vanished from the face of the earth.

Still, there was no legitimate proof that a god had been responsible. No one had actually ever seen a god and lived to tell about it. No one who wasn't either intoxicated or lying through their teeth, anyway.

"That's the point, genius," Evey said flatly.

Tony was undeterred. "You know what's the difference between summoning a demon and trying to summon a god?"

"Well…gods are more powerful."

"A god cannot be contained within a pentagram," Tony said. That had been the subject of many experimentations, all failed ones. The only result was the death of the would-be summoner. "Or in any other way, for that matter. According to legend, if they choose to appear, you're entirely at their mercy. And they don't like to be bothered. So when they do answer, it's usually just to blast the caller into Oblivion. Or Tartarus. Or Helheim. You know – someplace bad."

"But there are millions of stories about gods taking part in mortal conflicts!" Evey protested. "Ancient Greece, Norse mythology… Pretty much every culture in the world has a series of myths involving the old gods."

"That was a long time ago," Tony said. "When the gods were properly worshipped. Nowadays most people are monotheist, or atheist. I'm not sure what's worse."

"But those are Muggles," Evey argued. "They don't know the truth. Wizards know that there are hundreds of gods, possibly thousands, even if, admittedly, we don't worship them as we used to."

Tony sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, V. Maybe they grew bored of humanity. But when was the last time a god appeared in human form?" The answer was never, as far as he was concerned. Again, despite the many tales of people who had supposedly witnessed such an event, there was no concrete proof.

Evey thought about it for a minute. "World War II? There were sightings. Or rumours, at least."

Tony snorted. "Rumours sparked by Grindelwald, who was aiding the Nazis. With a few Transfiguration tricks and a couple of Illusion charms, anyone can look like a god."

"But you're immortal," Evey went on, ignoring his reasonable arguments. "Could a god really kill you if we managed to draw his attention somehow?"

"Do you want to find out?" he asked, feeling hurt that she would risk his life for no good reason.

Evey didn't reply. She was likely already considering another argument. She could go on like this for hours, Tony realised. She was as stubborn as her husband, perhaps more. She clearly didn't understand how dangerous it could be. Maybe she never would. The idea of a potentially dangerous situation didn't seem to repel Evey the way it did normal people. For a Slytherin, her sense of self-preservation was oddly unbalanced. Again, just like Walden's. "V, I know it's frustrating. We don't know how to help Harry, we don't even know where he is, and the others are not coming up with any useful suggestions. Stay put, they say. Focus on the Greyback threat." Tony had finally worked out an enchanted cage that would restrain the Wolf, but they still had no idea where he was. Scabior hadn't reappeared, and Ted assured them that there were no werewolves in the vicinity, only a Death Eater on watch. "Believe me, I feel as restless as you do, and remember, I don't even get to sleep half the day away. But I really don't know how we can-"

"There's nothing you can do," a voice interrupted him.

Tony sat with his mouth wide open, staring at the man who had suddenly materialised in the room. He was leaning against the glass panels of the conservatory, to Tony's right, arms folded over his chest. He was wearing a grey shirt and black trousers. Judging by the way Evey was looking at him, the newcomer had to be somewhat good-looking. He was taller than anyone Tony had ever met, including Greyback.

"What, er, who…um, I mean…" Tony trailed off, unsure what to say. He was afraid. The man radiated an aura of power, of danger, of…other-worldliness.

"Please tell me you're him," Evey said. Tony frowned at her. The man cocked his head slightly, looking at her with obvious curiosity, then nodded slowly. "I was just thinking about you! You can read minds, right?" She looked ecstatic.

"Of course I can. I'm a god," the man said dismissively. "And you're welcome."

Evey grinned at Tony. "I just mentally thanked him for proving you wrong," she explained complacently.

Tony sat very still. No, no, no. That's not possible. Evey could do a lot of things that were supposedly impossible, but summoning gods with her mind? Besides, they were just discussing the idea, not actually trying to summon a god, for Merlin's sake!

"Your faith in this Merlin person is vastly misplaced," the man – the god – said, turning his gaze on Tony. Except for his unnatural height, he appeared perfectly human, though his eyes blazed with surreal blueness. "And, for your information, you cannot summon a god."

"Then why are you here?" Tony asked, realising a millisecond too late that the question sounded very rude, and that he was addressing a god, who could probably snap him in half without moving from where he stood. Then he realised that he still had no idea who the god was. Thankfully, Evey possessed more self-control than he did.

She cleared her throat. "Um, Lord Hades?" Hades? They'd unintentionally summ…um, drawn the attention of the Lord of the Underworld? Holy smokes, this was bad. "Can I get you some tea?" Evey asked politely. Tony gaped at her. "Coffee, maybe? There's blueberry pie, too. Our chef made it this morning."

That's it. She's lost her mind entirely, Tony thought with dismay.

Hades chuckled. It didn't sound like an I-shall-smite-thee chuckle, but it still sent cold shivers down Tony's spine. How did Evey manage to remain so bloody collected? "Why, thank you for the kind offer, child. I haven't had pie in…oh, decades, at least. I'll have some." Evey stood smoothly, bowed her head a fraction, and walked toward the kitchen, leaving Tony alone with…Hades. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the absurdity of it all.

"Absurdity?" Hades repeated Tony's stray thought, arching an eyebrow.

"I mean, um, it's just that your…visit is, um…quite unexpected," he stammered.

"Mm. Well, I've been listening in on your conversation for twenty Overworld minutes. Most entertaining activity of my day thus far." He moved forward and took a seat in Evey's vacated chair, lounging with his legs crossed. "You are an interesting bunch of people, I must admit."

"…thanks?" Tony said hesitantly.

"But you are unbelievably foolish," Hades went on. There was no trace of scorn in his voice; he was merely stating a fact. "Summoning fickle demons will get you nowhere. Trying to summon one of my peers will get you dead. Our only response to such blasphemy is to send some subservient demon to slaughter you." Ah. That explained a lot. "In any case, there's no one else. There's just me. And there's nothing I can do about your little…evil dark lord situation. I'm not allowed to interfere in such matters."

"Well, that's a bummer," Evey said as she returned with a generous chunk of pie. She handed the plate to Hades, who nodded his thanks.

He glanced at Tony. "I believe it would be the gentlemanly thing to do to surrender your seat to the young lady, Ancient One," he said, looking deadly serious. Or rather, deadly and serious.

Tony practically jumped out of his chair, which made Evey laugh as she appropriated it with an amused smile. The smile vanished a moment later, however. "So you can't help us."

Hades shook his head, but he said nothing as he chewed on his first bite. His eyes seemed to blaze even brighter. He swallowed before speaking. "Delicious. My compliments to the Wolf." He summoned a napkin out of thin air and patted his lips delicately. "And as I said, there's nothing I can do. I may have already trespassed my boundaries by helping you out last year," he went on, addressing Evey.

She scowled in confusion. "You helped me? Helped me when? I was stuck in fake Asgard for months!"

Tony would have held his breath in horror, if he'd been breathing. Was she actually complaining to a god?

Hades finished his second morsel and sighed. "Humans. You always find something to complain about, don't you?"

"Well, I'm sorry, but-"

"You prayed to me, remember?" he cut her off. Evey paused, and her eyes widened slightly. "Yes. That time. I lent you strength and resilience, as you asked. Thanks to me, you did not betray your friend under torture."

"Not that time," Evey muttered crossly.

Hades shrugged. "That was the only time you begged for my help."

Evey gestured the matter aside, gazing at Hades. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was your doing. Thank you," she said softly. "If nothing else, your intervention briefly boosted my morale."

"My pleasure. People rarely pray to me these days, so you easily drew my attention. Nowadays it's all about God, isn't it? God this, Allah that… Who is this God person anyway?"

Evey stifled a laugh. "A practical joke that went very wrong, about two thousand years ago…"

"Credulous mortals," Hades grumbled. "Anyway," he continued, "the only thing I can do to help, right now, is to exhort you not to summon any demon, and certainly not to attempt calling on any other god for favours. This will only lead to disaster." His pie finished, the plate disappeared from his hand – hopefully rematerialising in the kitchen sink. Those were real china, from Walden's mother's favourite set.

Hades gave Tony a stern look. "Of course it's in the kitchen, you oaf. I don't steal people's fancy plates. I have my own." Tony would have flushed in embarrassment if it were physiologically possible. This was the craziest conversation he'd ever been part of, and his thoughts kept betraying him.

"Then what can we do?" Evey asked with a pout.

"Nothing. Wait, as your friends from the Order of the Phoenix advised you. The matter will either be resolved by those it concerns, or it won't," Hades said indifferently.

"'Those it concerns'?" Evey scoffed. "It concerns us all! We're all in danger."

"Hardly. Even if this…Riddle person rises to power, he will only be another temporary tyrant. He'll never achieve lasting immortality. You'll have to be patient, but your lives are not at stake."

"Our friends' lives are at stake," Evey insisted.

Hades eyed her, blue eyes shimmering faintly, then shook his head. "You are quite foolish. Why do you care so much about the mortals? Theirs is a fleeting existence."

"I'm mortal, too," Evey pointed out.

Hades laughed, and it wasn't a mere chuckle this time. The sound was so sudden and unexpected that Tony started, reflexively moving to place himself in front of Evey with supernatural speed. The god waved at them, his mirth fading. "I doubt that very much."

Evey hesitated, biting her lip. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're…obviously…" Hades trailed off, looking oddly tentative for an all-powerful god. "Alright. Truth be told, I have no idea what you are, or how you came to be, and it's unclear whether or not you're mortal. I find the idea laughable, however, given your…magical parentage. And I don't mean your blood relatives, of course, but rather the people who made you the strange creature that you are now. Like this one," he said, indicating Tony.

Evey had gone pale. "So I could be immortal?"

Tony glanced at her. Oh, bugger. No, no, no. If Evey was immortal, then 'made available to you centuries from now' suddenly took an entirely different meaning.

Fuck.

It made sense, though, Tony admitted reluctantly. If Evey was part Ancient and part Wolf, it was not unrealistic to think that she, like them, would be immortal, especially considering her regenerative abilities.

Hades smirked. "Thank you for validating my belief, Ancient One."

Evey turned to Tony. "You knew?"

"V, we have no idea what you are. I mean, even the gods don't know, and that's saying something, I should think. But…both Greyback and I are immortal, and you've absorbed quite a lot from both of us. It would make sense, don't you think?"

"I… But what about Walden? You bit him, too. Does that mean that he's also-"

"Oh, no," Hades said. "Not at all. He may live a bit longer than most of his kind, but he's not immortal. Of that I'm quite certain."

Evey looked crestfallen, and Tony longed to do something about it. Again, his mind betrayed him. "Punching me will achieve nothing, vampire," Hades said dryly. "Except to shatter every bone in your arm."

Evey took a deep breath. "Well. Thank you for your help, my lord, but I think we can take it from here." Her voice had turned cold, almost hostile.

Hades shook his head ruefully. "We shall meet again, I think." He stood gracefully. "Thank you for the pie." He vanished without a sound.

They were silent for a long time, until Tony couldn't bear the pain in Evey's eyes any longer. "V, I'm-"

"The Elves," Evey cut him off. Tony stared at her, thrown off by the unexpected words. "Maybe that wasn't such a terrible idea after all. You should go to Middle-earth. With Walden."

Tony had done more research on Middle-earth and the Elves since he'd brought up the subject at Bill and Fleur's wedding, in the hope that he might eventually convince Evey to let him go. He'd found nothing about a remaining portal, but he trusted Walden's word on it. More importantly, however, he had discovered another reason to pay the Elves a visit: apparently, they hated Grindelwald almost as much as they hated Tolkien, because he had once stolen a treasured artefact from their realm, which in turn had been taken by Voldemort, something that the Elves didn't know, Tony guessed. It was an Elvish pendant, the same sort that was mentioned in the books – that star-shaped trinket that the Lady Arwen bestowed upon Frodo. It was supposed to render its bearer immortal, though Walden knew for a fact that it was all bollocks. The Dwarves had told him that it was merely a shiny gemstone, a bauble of sentimental value.

Tony had never seen the artefact with his own eyes, but if Voldemort had it in his possession and genuinely believed in its power, the jewel was a perfect candidate for a Horcrux, provided that anything Elvish could be desecrated in such a way. And Tony had utterly forgotten about its rumoured existence until a few days ago, which meant that Harry may not know about it.

Which was very bad.

Merlin, he just kept fucking up, didn't he?

He tried to gather his thoughts. After meeting a god, it wasn't a small feat. "I…did mention the damaged portal, right? I could go with Walden, and maybe Alice, but you…"

"But I'd be stuck here," Evey said through gritted teeth. "Yes, I'm aware of that. But we have to do something. Besides, you'd only be gone for a few days, right? If nothing comes of it, we'll think of something else."

Despite everything that had just happened, Tony felt a surge of excitement. He hadn't dared mention Middle-earth again, mainly because Walden had forbidden it, but if Evey gave them permission… Well, not that they needed her permission, but Tony preferred to have it, just in case anything bad happened.

"Shit!" Evey exclaimed suddenly. "We forgot to ask about the Turning Point!"

"Uh? Oh. That." The first part of the foretelling had been dire enough that Tony had sort of occluded the rest of it, which implied that he might not live long enough to be utterly miserable.

"If anyone can tell us what it means, it's Hades," Evey said. "I wonder if he-"

"What Turning Point?" Hades asked. Tony nearly jumped out of his skin. The god had materialised a foot behind him.

Evey glanced up at Hades. "That…event that the Questing Beast mentioned." She didn't seem at all fazed that Hades had reappeared without warning.

"The Questing Beast," Hades said. "Phaw! That vile creature. I didn't know that it was still alive." His blue eyes flashed brighter. "Oh, is that where you were, two Overworld weeks ago? I couldn't find you anywhere…" He shook his head. "Ah, humans. You are so oblivious, sometimes. Well, most of the time, really. If you knew how much danger you were in, travelling across the realms like it was a mere hiking trip, only to encounter that foul, misleading fiend… You're lucky to be alive."

Travelling across the realms? What did that even mean? Sure, they'd gone through a few very un-British landscapes while hunting the Beast, but…

"What did it say, exactly?" Hades demanded.

Tony repeated the Beast's words. They were etched in his memory, whether he liked it or not.

"Uh. That can't be good," Hades commented offhandedly.

"That's reassuring," Evey said.

"I appreciate sarcasm as much as the next god, but this is troubling indeed. It is no laughing matter, child."

"Sarcasm is her default coping mechanism," Tony said quickly, afraid that Hades would punish Evey for her lack of seriousness.

"How come you don't know about this?" Evey asked, ignoring him. "You're a god. Don't you know everything?"

"Gods cannot see into the future," Hades explained. "Unlike the Seer. The Questing Beast, if that's what you call it nowadays," he added when he caught their puzzled expressions. "Well. You've given me much to think about. I knew you were going to get me out of the miasma of boredom that is the Underworld. Thank you for that. Until next time."

Evey opened her mouth, no doubt to ask another question, but it was too late. Hades disappeared silently, leaving no trace of his brief visit.

Tony heard Walden's heavy footsteps coming down the stairs and glanced in that direction. Evey caught his movement. They exchanged a meaningful look, and she shook her head slightly. Unlike Hades, Tony couldn't read her mind, but what was on it was pretty clear: no discussing her potential immortality, nor even their impromptu caller.

That was fine with Tony. The thought of Evey being immortal and everything it might imply was unbearable to him, and that was therefore the last thing he wanted to discuss with anybody. His next task, therefore, would be to convince Walden to accompany him to Middle-earth.