"Oh, come on! Why can't I go with them?" Ted complained. He had prepared a backpack and had even taken a shower. Quite the miracle, Walden thought. "I want to see the Elves!"

"Ted, we've already discussed this," Evey said, mustering her patience. "Only dead people can get through the portal."

"Doll, I may not be dead, but I'm immortal. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Do you really want to find out?" Evey asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She's right, you know," Tony said. "It's too risky. Besides, we need you to keep an eye on Evey while we're gone."

Evey shot him a flat look. "I don't need a babysitter."

Walden observed the scene with keen interest – and a certain sense of dread. He wasn't sure what would be worse: for Ted to accompany them to Middle-earth, or for him to stay at the manor with Evey while Walden was gone. Alice would be there, but still… He didn't like it. Then again, he didn't like anything about any of it.

He'd finally accepted to go to Middle-earth, but he'd insisted on doing a ton of research beforehand. He'd re-read his favourite accounts of famed scholars who had visited the Elves, and he'd even read the Muggle books published by Tolkien, just in case. The only thing he'd learned was that Tolkien was a genius, regardless of anything else: the man had created an entire mythology, a detailed history and had even invented several languages for his novels. Indeed, Quenya, Sindarin and the rest of them only vaguely resembled the real Elvish languages.

"Ted," Walden said, "I assure you, you won't miss anything. For all we know, the Elves will throw us out as soon as we land on the other side. And if we do somehow manage to talk with them long enough to explain the situation, we'll also ask them to consider reactivating the other portals. I mean, it's been 50 years. Hopefully they don't hold a grudge for too long."

"They're immortal," Evey pointed out. "50 years is nothing to them."

"I concur," Ted said. "I'm not one to hold a grudge, but remember that the Bloodmother is still mad at our Alpha for something he did several thousand years ago…"

Fair point. That Malkoran bloke must have seriously fucked up. "Well, it costs us nothing to ask," Walden said gruffly.

Ted exhaled sharply. "Fine. But I'm warning you: you won't like me when I'm bored," he told Evey. "Better find us something to do soon, something that will involve me."

"I'm trying, okay? I've been wracking my brain searching for things to do, and tearing the library apart for clues. As soon as Walden and Tony return, depending on the result of their little getaway, we'll brainstorm and figure out our next step."

"As soon as we return, Ted can also feel free to leave," Walden muttered. "We don't really need him anymore. The cage is ready."

Evey rolled her eyes, but Walden could tell that she was too worried to be annoyed. "You just make sure to return in one piece, okay? Both of you," she added, looking at Tony. They nodded reflexively. She'd been repeating that for days.

"It'll be fine, V," Tony promised. "We'll be gone for three days, four at most."

Four days. Walden realised that he was being clingy, but after nearly losing Evey the previous year, he hated the idea of being away from her for more than a few hours. Of course, he could simply let Tony go alone to Middle-earth… His brother insisted that he could do this on his own. Unfortunately, that was far from true – he did not speak any of the languages of the Elves, for one thing, and for another, his only knowledge regarding Middle-earth came from the Muggle books.

If nothing else, Tony needed an interpreter. In the documented books regarding the Elves, it was often stated that few of them had deemed it useful to learn English.

Walden stood up and hugged Evey tightly. "It'll be fine," he whispered, echoing Tony's words.

She clung to him like she was never going to let him go. "Did you pack your coffin? Do you have enough blood?"

"Enough to last us a century," he replied with a small smile.

She sighed against his chest. "I love you."

"I love you too." He leaned down to kiss her one last time before departing.

After a moment, Tony cleared his throat. "We're losing obscurity, mate."

Walden reluctantly released Evey. "Stay safe."

She nodded solemnly. "You too."

They were in southern Belgium, in a dark, dingy alley on the outskirts of a gloomy town with a marked industrial past. They'd had to Apparate to seven different locations before getting here, and they'd almost ended up in the wrong town, its namesake in the United States. Walden had been surprised to learn of the portal's location; he'd expected a more…magical location, like the Broceliande Forest, or near an ancient monument, perhaps. Many of the original portals had been located in proximity of universities, libraries and other places of learning. This one might have been accidentally displaced at the same time that it was damaged.

Walden inspected his surroundings. This was the place, of that he was certain, but he had no idea what the portal was supposed to look like.

"Hey, I think I've got something," Tony called out to him. He was pointing at some large, circular graffiti on the dirty wall. "Isn't that Elvish? I mean, you're the expert."

Walden approached his illuminated wand to try to distinguish the markings. "Aye, it is. Well spotted." He tilted his head sideways to read. "It roughly translates as 'The living cannot pass. Beware and enter at your own risk.'"

"See, they don't really hate us. They took the time to warn us that the portal couldn't be used by the living."

"Most likely, they just got tired of clearing up the dead bodies that piled up on the other side," Walden muttered glumly.

He definitely wasn't looking forward to this little trip to Middle-earth. Oh, he would have been delighted, had the circumstances been different, but to go at a time like this, without Evey… It was rather depressing.

And besides, he was convinced that this endeavour would prove just as futile as seeking the Questing Beast had been. Well, that had been a complete disaster, in truth. No matter how badly they fared here, at least it couldn't possibly be worse than their last venture.

"So the portal is here somewhere?" Tony asked, pushing on the bricks at random.

"The writing encircles it, I think. It's just not been activated yet." Walden put his flesh hand against the wall but felt nothing.

"And how do we activate it?"

"Not a clue. The Dwarves didn't mention that." With luck, their adventure would end before it could begin, and Walden would be back home with Evey before he knew it.

Tony was rubbing his beard thoughtfully. Apparently, he had changed his mind about facial hair. Walden guessed that they had Morgana to thank for that. Speaking of Morgana… "What did you tell your girlfriend, about where you were going?"

Tony scowled at the impromptu question. "Uh? I didn't tell her anything. Just…that I'd be gone for a few days." He shrugged. "She didn't even ask why. Just told me to let her know when I returned."

Walden had yet to puzzle out their relationship. Was it simply casual sex? If it was, they certainly had a lot of it. Tony was gone most nights, and sometimes they didn't see him for two or three days in a row. And yet when questioned about Morgana, Tony always remained vague and quickly changed the subject. He couldn't possibly be embarrassed by her. She was a competent Warden, she was smart and funny…

Maybe Tony was embarrassed by them. Or maybe Morgana didn't like them, and that was why she'd never asked to visit Tony at the manor. Walden was reluctant to allow anyone within, for Evey's safety, but he would gladly make an exception for Morgana, if Tony asked.

"Wal?" Tony said with an exasperated undertone. "Earth to Walden? Any idea how to open the portal? Alohomora or something?"

Walden blinked. He hadn't realised that his brother was still talking. "Um… Well, I doubt it's activated by magic, since ours is different than theirs."

Tony nodded. "Makes sense. A password, perhaps? Like when Gandalf opens the gate that leads into Moria? What was it, Melon or something?"

Melon. Right. "It's Mellon. And I told you, Sindarin is a made-up language," Walden explained. "Melon is just a fruit, and Mellon means nothing at all in any language I know. Besides, you do realise that most of what happens in the Muggle books did not actually happen, right? If Tolkien had kept his account to what truly went down after the Wizard discovered the One Ring in the Shire, it would have made a short novella at best."

"To be fair, 'He entrusted the Ring to the Hobbit, and bid the King of the Eagles to carry him to Mount Doom' wouldn't have been much of a story," his brother said with a grin. "But everything he wrote had at least some element of truth to it, so why not this part?" he went on, indicating the wall. "Just say the word in real Elvish."

Walden complied but, as he had expected, nothing happened. He tried to say the word in three other Elvish languages, but nothing continued to happen. "Tony, this is ridiculous. We could spend years trying to figure out the right word – or words – and we don't even know if that's how the portal gets activated."

"Aw, don't be so defeatist. Let me think, alright?" Tony closed his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It warns us that the living cannot pass," he said eventually, reopening his eyes. "What if we tell it that we're dead?"

Walden eyed him dubiously, but he said the words in Elvish. There was a blinding flash of light, and the space delimitated by the Elves' warning turned into a bright, shimmering hole.

"You have got to be joking," Walden murmured in astonishment.

Tony was laughing delightedly. "I can just imagine you re-enacting the scene where Gandalf uses every single word he knows in every possible language, when the word is actually right under his nose. You Ravenclaws, you think too much," he added smugly. "Well, that's dealt with. Who goes first?"

"I do," Walden said determinedly. He grabbed the edge of the portal and stepped over it.

Tony emerged from the river sputtering water. His clothes were drenched. Off to a great start, he thought derisively. Good thing he couldn't feel the cold anymore. He couldn't even use his wand to dry himself – magic wouldn't work here.

Walden had already taken his shirt off and was wringing it vigorously.

"When you said that the portal led to the Bruinen, I didn't think it led inside it," Tony muttered. He looked around. "Is this the right ford? How do we even know?" They had a map, of course, but a river was a river.

"We'll find out soon enough," Walden said. "And the portal was damaged. I doubt it led into the river, originally." He pointed to his right. "We'll have to stop for the day, but if we're in the right place, we'll come upon Rivendell tomorrow night."

They walked for three hours that night, without meeting anyone, until Walden had to shut himself away in his coffin. Tony spent a few hours experimenting with the local trees to see if anything could be used for wand wood, but it was difficult to tell, since his magic was ineffective. He gave up eventually and went for a walk to stretch his legs.

That was when he encountered his first Elf.

He looked just like Tony had imagined an Elf would look: tall and slender, with glorious long hair the colour of honey. The Elf eyed him with unconcealed suspicion and said something Tony couldn't make out. Elvish, most likely, but the only Elvish word Tony knew was the one he had used the previous night, and it wasn't even a real word. Walden was mainly here to serve as his interpreter, and he was inconveniently asleep.

"Greetings," Tony said with his best smile. "My name is Antonin, and I come from Earth." He gestured in the general direction of the portal. He felt like an alien visiting a new planet. I come in peace, he thought wryly. "Do you speak English?"

The Elf shook his head slowly. Bad luck. Maybe they should have packed the vial of Felix Felicis after all, although it would only affect Walden.

He opened his mouth to try to communicate regardless of the language barrier, but the Elf unsheathed a sharp-looking dagger from his belt. Tony hastily raised his hands in what he hoped was a non-threatening gesture.

"Look, mate, I come in peace, alright?" Maybe it wasn't such a stupid thing to say after all. "I'm unarmed. Really, there's no need for that," he added, pointing at the blade.

The Elf cried out in his own tongue, and suddenly Tony was surrounded by a dozen Elves with danger in their eyes. How had he not heard them skulking around? This was bad. They couldn't harm him, but still, he would rather reach Rivendell without having to tear through its residents. And he couldn't just leave Walden unguarded. What if someone opened his coffin?

"Please, listen to me. I mean, just try to puzzle out what I'm saying."

Thankfully, he was saved from having to mime his words when another Elf stepped forward. "What do you want, Earthling? How did you get here?"

"Through the portal. Look, we don't want any trouble, we just–"

"We?" the Elf repeated with an arched, perfectly groomed eyebrow.

"My brother and myself. He's, um…asleep. We–"

"The portal has not been activated in over a year, and it has been damaged. We did not think it was still functional."

Tony had never imagined that Elves could be so rude. Was he going to let him talk, or what?

Wait. A year? That meant other people had come through not so long ago. Why were the Elves so hostile now?

"Apparently, the portal still works," Tony stated the obvious. "I assure you, we're not here to cause trouble. We would like to discuss with El…that is, with the Lord of Rivendell." Tolkien had changed most of the names, and Tony had no idea what Elrond's real name was. In the days before Tolkien's betrayal – so the Elves named it – wizards and witches from Earth were allowed to visit, to learn from the various inhabitants of Middle-earth, its rich history and languages and the magic that was at work here. Some locations had become almost 'touristic', such as the Mines of Moria, Orthanc, Dale or Minas Tirith. The latter's library especially was quite the attraction. Dumbledore himself had spent some time there, as had Gellert Grindelwald, long before he became the nasty piece of human garbage he was now known to be.

In exchange, Elves and Dwarves and Men were welcome to visit Earth and learn from the wizards' lore (or the Muggles'), puny as it may seem in comparison to their own. A few Hobbits were also said to have crossed the barrier that separated the two worlds.

But those days were long gone.

The Elf considered for a minute. "Very well. Rouse your brother, and you shall be escorted to the city."

"Ah…yeah, I can't do that. He can't be out in daylight." The Elf frowned, and Tony hastened to clarify. "He's not an Orc or anything like that. He's a vampire. They're not very fond of sunlight."

"And what manner of creature may you be?"

That wasn't very polite. Tony was beginning to seriously dislike the Elf, who had not even introduced himself. "I'm also a vampire," he admitted. "Just not the sort that fears the sun."

The Elf considered it for a minute. "Yes, we have encountered your kind before." He had? Tony briefly wondered which one of his peers knew about the Elves, but he had more pressing matters to consider.

The Elf signalled to his companions. "We shall transport your brother and wait for him to come awake in Imladris. You shall accompany us." That didn't sound like a suggestion.

Tony indicated the place where Walden had settled for the day, and the Elves carried the coffin all the way to Rivendell – or Imladris, if they wished to call it that. It was only a few miles now, but Tony couldn't help but think it would have been more practical to wait for the night. The Elves set a good pace, however, and they reached the entrance to the city just before dark.

Evey paced restlessly across the living room, fiddling with her wedding band anxiously. She removed it periodically to read the words that were engraved on the inside: amor verus numquam moritur. True love never dies. Tony had really outdone himself when he'd picked out her ring.

Walden and Tony had promised that they wouldn't be gone more than four days, which meant that they should have been back today.

Four days. It seemed a ridiculously short time, especially if Hades was right and Evey was… No. She shooed the disturbing thought away. She wasn't immortal. Gods, she hoped she wasn't.

But Walden had promised. Four days. Evey eyed her watch for the hundredth time that night. Ten past six in the morning. If they hurried, they could still make it home before dawn broke.

Nana picked up on her mood and whined softly. Evey sat down on the floor next to her and hugged the dog. "It'll be fine," she whispered, more to herself than to Nana. "They will be back soon. Tomorrow at the latest. It'll be fine," she repeated.

"Tony," Walden said, "we can't stay here forever, mate. It's been four days already, and we have to make the journey back to the portal. Evey will be worried sick, you know she will." He glanced in the direction of the Council Chamber. "I understand that it takes time, but we can't wait around for them to make up their minds. Let's get back home, and they can let us know once they've made a decision."

The Elves had been rather cold toward them, but they were still quite hospitable. They were lucky: some Elves were currently visiting from Mirkwood and Lórien (which were not called Mirkwood and Lórien), and the Lord of Imladris had allowed Walden and Tony to speak to his assembled guests. None of them had introduced themselves; apparently, they feared that the dishonourable humans would add insult to injury and reveal their proper names to the world as soon as they got back to Earth.

The city, Rivendell or Imladris, as the Elves preferred to call it, was exactly as described in the books. Perhaps Tolkien had not altered as much as they'd assumed, apart from the story of the destruction of the One Ring itself. He had not even bothered to change the name of the city. Well, either that, or the Elves called it Imladris to prevent Walden from learning its true name.

"How about you go on ahead and I'll join you as soon as they've reached a decision?" Tony offered. He seemed to really like it here – and no wonder; this place looked like Christian Heaven – despite the general mistrust and aloofness of the Elves.

"Tony, I can't go alone. If I leave now, the sun will be up before I reach the portal, and if someone decides to open the coffin while I sleep…" He trailed off. There was no need to explain what would happen then.

"They really ought to incorporate a way to lock these coffins," Tony grumbled. "I'll look into that."

"Look, the Elves can open a functioning portal whenever and wherever they want. We don't need to stay here; they'll know how to contact us." Tony appeared as stubborn as before despite Walden's perfectly sensible arguments. "Nothing's preventing us from visiting again later," he went on more quietly. "They didn't murder us on the spot, and they didn't send us right back to Earth, either. Perhaps they'll be more welcoming if we come for a reason other than begging for assistance against an evil overlord who may or may not own a stolen piece of Elvish jewellery. Merlin knows they've had their fair share of dealings with evil overlords. Maybe they'll even open a portal that Evey can safely cross," he added hopefully. They'd tentatively asked for that, but the glacial reaction of the Elves had caused them not to insist upon it.

Tony spread his hands wide in defeat. "Alright, fine," he said reluctantly. "You win. Let's go home."