Tony found Evey sitting at the kitchen table. There was a steaming mug in front of her and she was looking out the window, her gaze apparently far away. She didn't notice him until he was a few feet away from her.

She started, her eyes widening. "Tony?" she whispered. She stood up hesitantly then stared at him for a minute before throwing herself into his arms. She promptly began to cry.

Oh boy. That couldn't be good. Evey hated to cry in front of people.

"Hey," Tony said, awkwardly patting her on the back. "What's wrong? What happened?" 'Who died?' was what he meant, but it sounded a bit harsh. Merlin, they'd only been gone for a few days! What were the odds of something terrible happening in such a short time?

Evey didn't reply. She was sobbing hard against his chest. Damn. Surely Harry couldn't be dead?

"V, just tell me what it is, will you? Please?" he asked again. "I'm losing my mind here." No response. "Walden is fine, you know. The sun was up when we returned, for some reason, so he fell asleep the moment we got out of the portal, but he's in his coffin. He's fine," he repeated. "He's in the hallway. It's almost nightfall, you'll see him soon."

At last Evey released him. Turning away from him, she extracted a dirty tissue from her pocket and blew her nose with a resounding noise. Then she took a deep breath and rounded on him, eyes blazing. Uh-oh. Tony had no idea what he'd done wrong, but judging by her posture and general attitude, he'd screwed up badly.

"Does your watch still work?" she demanded angrily.

Hmm…not the question he'd expected after visiting a foreign land for the first time. Frowning, he glanced at his watch. It had stopped, actually. How had she guessed? "We were delayed, alright? But come on, V, it's only been five days. We stayed one tiny extra day. It's not the end of the–"

"Five days?" she shouted, a look of utter incredulity marring her face. "It's been five fucking months, you twat! We're in March!"

Tony's brain froze. He stood gaping at Evey for a few seconds. "You're…pulling my leg, right?"

"Do I look like I'm pulling your fucking leg?!"

It sounded like a rhetorical question, but Tony took a moment to really look at her. Her hair was not only its usual mess, it also seemed brittle and a bit…greasy. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and those were blood-shot from lack of sleep and her recent crying. She was wearing sweatpants and a pyjama top and she was barefoot. She looked thinner than he remembered, her cheeks sunken in her face. Her breath was…pungent. Apparently, she'd been drinking coffee, which she'd never done before. She always said that it was too bitter.

"I don't… I mean, that's not…" Not possible, he wanted to say. No one had ever mentioned a time warp between Earth and Middle-earth. It made no sense. Someone would have noticed if time passed differently on the other side of the portals. Hell, Tolkien had spent half his life in there!

But…wait a second. The Elves claimed that no one had used the dysfunctional portal in over a year. If five days in Middle-earth meant five months here…

"We were the first to come through since they closed the portals, forty-odd years ago," he murmured in amazement. "No wonder they were still so hostile toward visitors. To them, it's only been months since Tolkien published his books…" He blinked, suddenly aware that Evey was glaring at him. "Holy smokes! I'm so sorry, V. I swear, I had no idea." Clearly, the Elves were not aware of the fact, either.

What was worse, Tony realised that this errand had been vain: if it took the inhabitants of Middle-earth even a few days to gather help (provided that they agreed to help in the first place, which may take weeks to decide), they would come out of the portal months later, at best, when – hopefully – help wouldn't be needed anymore. Oh, hell. Walden was going to kill him.

If Evey didn't kill him first.

Before she could shout him apart, however, someone hurtled down the stairs. Blackbeard emerged a moment later.

"Oi, look who's here!" he said cheerfully. "See, lass, I told you they'd come back," he added matter-of-factly. Evey turned her smouldering eyes toward him. "I also predicted that you'd be furious when they did," he noted.

The Wolf, unlike Evey, had not changed a bit. His beard and hair were as wild as usual, but not in a dirty way. He was wearing a short-sleeved Rolling Stones t-shirt with black trousers and combat boots. He did look relieved to see Tony, though.

"What took you so bloody long, mate? Did you meet a cute Elvish girl?" he asked with a grin.

The thing about Elves was that it was sometimes difficult to tell if one was male or female. For all Tony knew, he hadn't seen an Elvish woman while he was in Middle-earth. In any case, the Elvish lord had strongly "recommended" that they stayed in their appointed chambers in their free time and that they did not explore or interact with anyone unless they had his permission.

"Um…no," Tony replied. "I swear, we were only gone five days. If I'd known… Evey, I would never have insisted on going if I'd known about the time distortion. You have to believe that."

Evey was on the verge of tears again, so Tony hugged her tightly. Thankfully, she didn't push him away. "I had no idea," he said. "I'm sorry, duckling. I'm the one who wanted to remain another day. Walden…well, Walden didn't even want to leave you in the first place." His best guess was that de-activating all the portals had caused a massive time warp, somehow. Or perhaps it was due to the faulty one. Either way, he was not about to investigate the matter now, although they would need to send a message to the other side to let the Elves know.

"I doubt a day would have made much difference, all things considered," Evey muttered grumpily.

"Thank you for staying with her," Tony told Ted. After all, the Wolf had no obligation to babysit Evey – and yes, in this instance, Tony was fairly certain that it had been babysitting, though considering Evey's dreadful appearance, Ted had not done a very good job. "Is Alice still around?" He doubted that Alice would have allowed Evey's health to deteriorate like that.

Evey shook her head. "No. She left a few months ago." Apparently, that was all the explanation she was going to give.

"Okay… Did anything...interesting happen while we were gone?" Tony asked uncertainly. A lot could have happened in five months.

Evey let go of him and attempted to straighten her hair with a huff of annoyance. "We've had no news from Harry and the others in a while. As for the Order… Hiding and surviving, just as before, and trying to resist as best they can. Oh, and Tonks is about to give birth," she added with a sudden smile.

It warmed up Tony's dead heart to see Evey smile at last. He wasn't even aware that Tonks had been pregnant to begin with. But all in all, those were good news. He'd expected to hear that half of the Order was dead, and Harry missing, or worse. Good news indeed.

Tony cleared his throat roughly. He hated to spoil Evey's mood, which was finally perking up, but something had to be done. "V, if I may make an innocent suggestion?" She tilted her head upward, frowning. "You might want to take a shower and brush your teeth before your husband wakes up, love."

As Evey energetically massaged her scalp with a good deal of shampoo, basking in the warmth of the shower water, she silently thanked Hades for bringing her husband and her best friend back to her safely, though she wasn't quite ready to forgive him for the delay. She'd prayed to him almost daily and, in the end, she had no idea if their return had anything to do with the god, but she felt that a thank-you was due anyway.

She couldn't wait to see Walden. Gods, he would freak out when he found out what had happened.

She couldn't blame him. Even Ted's presence had barely kept her sane. After a week, she'd begun to be not only worried, but terrified out of her wits; after a month, she had been ready to jump through the portal to Middle-earth even if it killed her. But Walden must have foreseen that she would consider that, if something happened: he hadn't revealed to her the portal's exact location. She had only a city name to go by, and she had no idea how to find and employ the illegal Apparition network besides.

She had been angry at them for leaving her. She had been angry at herself for letting them go. And she'd been angry at everyone who had attempted to comfort her.

She now realised that Ted must have truly suffered these past months. She'd been a terrible roommate. And yet, even though she'd been thoroughly depressed and mostly irresponsive, the Wolf had somehow remained jolly and optimistic throughout the seemingly endless days.

Since Evey wasn't talking, Ted had recounted his many adventures as a pirate, and then as a Wolf. If she'd been in any condition to listen, she would have been delighted, but now she could barely recall any of it. She had, however, listened a bit more attentively when he had explained that Malkoran, his Alpha, had personally involved himself in the Greyback situation, even though, to the best of his knowledge, the "cub" was still nowhere to be found.

At Ted and Alice's insistence, the three of them had attended a few meetings that had gathered most of the Ancients and some of the Wolves. The Bloodmother was determined to find the person responsible for her progeny's death and she would not rest until she did. Apparently, her rival and she had agreed on a temporary truce, although as far as Evey could tell, Malkoran didn't consider Ellessin – as was the Mother's true name – as an adversary, but rather as…well, as his former lover, which she was.

Malkoran had been surprised to hear about Evey's existence, and they'd spoken much in the past few weeks. She was the one who'd taught him how to use a phone, in fact. Quite a feat; he wasn't keen on using any sort of technology. He was…stuck in his own time, somehow, as if the last centuries – or millennia – hadn't occurred at all. He'd first looked at the phone as a caveman must have gaped, awed, at the fire he'd unwittingly started. And then he'd had quite a laugh when Evey had pointed that out. That had been the only time she'd seen him laugh, and the Bloodmother had glared suspiciously at the both of them when he did.

Evey had also been in contact with Gorgo and Imhotep, who were equally worried about Tony and Walden. They had already lost Jeanne; they couldn't lose another Ancient. They had offered to stay at the manor, to keep Evey company, but at the time Evey had been glad to be alone – she was so used to Ted that she sometimes forgot he was even there. Ted, at least, didn't care if she cried herself to sleep, and she didn't have to dress properly or even shower if she didn't feel like it. After all, Ted himself rarely showered. After Alice had left, Evey had been free to mope around and lie in bed all day if she wanted, and that had been pretty much the only things she could bring herself to do.

She had lost quite a bit of weight, despite Caraid's constant nagging that she should eat, and she'd spent most of her time muttering to herself or talking to Nana, as if the dog would reply.

She knew that no one was to blame for what had happened – except perhaps Tolkien, for angering the Elves in the first place, but the man had died 25 years ago – but she was still furious for the time she'd spent wondering if she was doomed to lose everyone she had ever loved and cared about, and what she had done to deserve that. Of course, it had brought back memories of her family's murder, and the guilt that always accompanied them.

As she turned off the water tap at last, after having washed her hair (twice) and shaved for the first time in months, Evey considered what she should wear to welcome her husband home. Tony and Ted had carried the coffin up in their bedroom, and it would be dark soon. She had only a few minutes to make up her mind.

In the end, she decided to wear nothing at all, and judging by Walden's reaction when he emerged from his death-like sleep, it was the right call. She would tell him about the time warp later.

And she would tell Tony about Morgana even later. Hades knew she wasn't looking forward to that conversation.