Chapter 83
The town is cold and dark, and looks like it goes on forever. I haven't taken a walk this long in... forever. No, I've walked this long before, only a few days ago. It seems like a lifetime since it happened, but it's still so fresh to the point where it hurts even more.
Each step on asphalt and concrete drones heavily in my mind with a sound more deep, more impact than footprints should have. It's more unnerving than I'd think it'd be.
The air around me gets colder and the wind picks up, my skin hardens like rock with a sharp, stinging sensation that only winter air can do. Snow starts to fall from the sky heavily on this long, seemingly endless street. Even if I wanted to stop moving, my body doesn't respond to my command.
Through my constant walking, it feels like something, or someone's watching me from a distance. The snow piles up around my feet, the cold air freezes my joints, but I can't shake this feeling of being stalked.
My limbs keep moving autonomously, despite my joints being frozen, it doesn't make any sense. Snow keeps falling, and I keep walking, this remains constant no matter how much time passes here.
It's only after more walking that I make out someone on the frozen road. There's too much snow to make out a face, but I know it's a person. But who, who could it be?
I walk a little further, a little faster than before, I need to know who this is. Snow keeps getting in my eyes, burning them with their chill. I've felt more pain than this before, I can take this much at least. I push through the last bit I need to make out who it is.
"N-Nepgear?" It's clearly her before me, she's here, I've seen her again. I'm filled with so much joy, the cold doesn't bother me anymore, I reach a hand out slowly towards her.
She smiles to me, a bright beam of energy that can warm me no matter what. Her smile is sunlight, a force to drive back the darkness of life. Nepgear starts to hold out a hand to me too.
Behind her, two red eyes appear over her shoulder. My hand stops, my body becomes paralyzed and the cold starts freezing me again. I'm scared, just seeing these eyes is enough to paralyze me in fear. I want to scream, but I just can't... my body's not responding...
A hand appears from the raging snowstorm and grabs Nepgear's wrist. She doesn't react, she's still smiling at me. Run... run away like you should've run away that night. Just get away from this guy Nepgear!
As soon as I'm able to reach my arm forward again, I lunge forward to get Nepgear away from this guy. But... I'm too late. Before I reach her, he pulls her into the mist, away from me again. No...
Why do I have to see this again? Why do I have to suffer like this? Please... I just want answers right now, I just want know why this is all happening.
"Nep...Gear..." I fall over, into the snow, and drift off into the blizzard. I have no more strength to move, and so I'll stay here until the world freezes over, because even if I did move, nothing will change at this moment.
"Hah..." My eyes shoot open in shock, my body's covered in a cold sweat. It's been a while since I've had one of these dreams. They've never felt that real before. Sure, I've felt like this after some of the dreams, but I never felt the biting air like that before in one of them.
It takes a few minutes for my body to fully calm down. I'm still cold, but that could just be the winter air outside, insulation kind of sucks in my room. Still, to wake up aching like this isn't normal at all.
I lay back down on my sweaty sheets and look at my phone to check the time. Shit... it's only a little after three... I'm still tried, but I'm scared to go back to sleep. I haven't been scared of these dreams since Nepgear helped me through them.
My nightstand still has a picture of Nepgear on it, just looking at it makes me feel sad, but calm too. I pick it up and stare at it. Her beautiful eyes, her bright smile, her beaming personality, so many emotions just from one picture.
I give the picture a kiss, as weird as that is and put it back down. I can tell that I'll be awake for a while, so I might as well have as much comfort as I can for now. A single tear goes down my cheek as I lie here, it's still so painful.
"I'm coming..." I promise that Nepgear.
"So that's where we're at? A dead end from one of Kei's tips?" Noire's at a total loss, I haven't seen her like this for a long time. Our bad situation is only getting worse by the day.
"There's nothing in the area we searched that indicates any related activity." It hurts me to say this but Uni's right. It's obvious that we wouldn't find anything on the first lead. We can be hopeful about this though, can't we?
It's taking a lot out of me to hear what they're saying, the cafeteria is always really loud in the morning. Combined with the lack of sleep last night, staying focused is going to be harder on me today that's for sure.
"Do we have any other leads so far?" I hope we do Vert.
"Those bastards are really good at covering their tracks now. Even if we did have one, it'd either turn up dead, or a trap for us." Still Blanc, it doesn't hurt to try. Any lead, even a trap could lead us to our goals.
"Shouldn't we still check them out? Maybe surveying areas and splitting up could give us a clue." Eventually it has to work. It could even force them to show themselves.
"That's a bad idea." Noire chimes in.
"Why's that?
"If we start dividing ourselves and looking into every lead too quickly, they'll catch onto us fast. And if we go in too small of groups, surviving an attack from them would be suicide. Make no mistake, they're the one's who'll dictate the tempo." So what? We just have to wait around and do nothing while Nepgear's going through unspeakable things right now?
I stand up in front of all of them. "We have to do something though! Waiting around won't do-" Blanc cuts me off.
"Put your personal feelings aside for a moment. Shes our friend too you know. Noire's not saying we do nothing, we can't rush something like this. We have to use our heads." Still... doing nothing feels wrong.
Vert puts a hand on my shoulder. "We all feel the same, but the opportunity probably won't present itself for quite a while. Please, we'll all get through this together."
"Tsk" I sit back down and look to Neptune. I thought she'd look just as fired up as I am, but she looks oddly calm. Maybe she's accepted it too and I'm the immature one this time.
Dammit Neptune, get mad, show them how much you want your sister back. It's not right to see no passion in your eyes, you should be angry right now!
Neptune looks at me and stares with her expressionless eyes into my own. They're cold, or more like my body feels cold just from them looking at me. Why do her eyes feel as cold as my dream?
"Come on, Martin can't keep Rom and Ram distracted forever." Neptune stands up and walks towards the cafeteria's exit. She just keeps getting more uncharacteristic even with the current situation going on. What's wrong with her?
"Classes start soon anyways, let's just talk about this at lunch." Uni is the next to walk away. Soon after, the rest of us follow suit. Not much I can do now, nobody wants to listen to me anyways.
Don't worry Nepgear, I promise that we'll rescue you soon.
"After reading your last book reports, I can see that some people are having trouble with the material. I want to go over the sections that gave people the most trouble and see if we can clear things up."
It's taking everything I have now to just stay awake. That was the first full sentence I've been able to make out from the teacher. Hopefully I can keep up the charade for a little longer and I can sleep through fourth hour today.
Rumor has it that our teacher got drunk last night and came in with a hangover and is just letting her classes do nothing today. At least there's some good luck in this day.
"One problem area I noticed was a failure to understand the antagonists reasoning for being close to the protagonist. Hiding in plain sight was his goal all along." I honestly don't remember what the hell we've been reading lately. We only started this book not long before the incident and we're already too far in it.
"Or why the dichotomy between these two characters plays off the idea that they both have the same goals in the end. It's really all a matter of perspective." I'm hearing the words, but I'm not hearing them at the same time if that makes sense.
It's just so hard to concentrate right now, I just want to sleep. Only a little longer, then I can rest. Then maybe, just maybe, we can learn something new by the end of the day. I don't pray very often, but I'll pray for that.
My eyelids are getting heavy, just keeping them open is hard enough. I need to stay awake, but... I can't help the urge to close my eyes. The light of the classroom slowly fades into darkness.
*Smack! Thud!* I'm jolted awake by something hitting me in the face. It hurts, but I'm more startled than I'm in pain. Before I can think about it anymore, the teacher walks up to my desk and glares down at me.
My hearts beating really fast, still haven't come to grips with the situation. No words come to the surface to say back. I'm less like a person and more like a deer in headlights.
"Sleeping during class isn't like you, is everything alright?" There's nothing that I can say, my body's paralyzed from the shock. It doesn't help that people are gluing their eyes on me now, like they used to in the past constantly. I hate this so much, I hate people just looking at me.
"I..." I'm so weak, I can't even speak just from a few people's eyes and a book.
Martin stands up from his desk. "Apologies Ma'am, but my friend hasn't been feeling well lately. With your permission, I would like to escort him to get some fresh air." What's he thinking? I don't need his help.
The teacher ponders for a moment, thinking about the situation. After a few more seconds, she turns back to Martin. "If it weren't for the fact that neither of you has caused any trouble all year, I never would consider it. But fine, you're both excused."
"Thank you Ma'am." Martin bows to the teacher before helping me up from my desk. I'm still shocked so it takes a moment to leave this place and make it down the hall.
We walk in silence for a solid minute at least before he stops us in a pretty isolated area under a stairwell. Martin looks at me with a bite in his gaze. I've never seen him with this look before.
"Listen, you can't let this affect you too much. That's that our enemy wants us to do."
I break my stupor for a moment, and all I can give him is a little chuckle. It's funny that him of all people would lecture me on this.
"Easy for you to say..." I still chuckle at him.
I'm hoping that he'll leave me alone. I don't want to talk about this right now. Even then, it's pretty hard to not think about it, especially now. It's still so fresh in my mind.
"I'm not joking, lamenting on it will only lead to more pain. I know it's not easy for you right now, but trust me, let it go for the time being. Time heals all wounds."
The only thing that'll make me feel better is either getting Nepgear back or killing the bastard that took her. That Martin, that's what'll make me feel better right now.
"I can't just let it go, I love-"
"She was my friend too, and Noire's as well. We're all suffering with you. You can feel your grief, but don't become consumed." Who does he think he is?
If it had been Noire, he'd feel the same. He'd feel the same emptiness in his gut,and the same weight in his chest. He'd have the same dream that I did, the same chill that I felt today. What gives him the right to tell me to let it go?
I want to yell at him. I want to scream until his ears bleed. I want to punch him in his smug face. Seriously, I don't know how I could feel anything but anger and sadness right now?!
I snarl at Martin and go to punch him. 'You shouldn't let yourself get angry.' Nepgear's words hit me all of a sudden, and my anger subsides, replaced by a cold bitterness. She only said that to me less than a week ago, and yet it hits me deep.
Martin doesn't look phased, it's like he was prepared to get hit. That's what I don't get about him, he's more suicidal than me sometimes... but he doesn't show his anger, frustration or anything. That's what pisses me off more than anything.
"It pains me to see this happen. Know that you have my support through all of this, but we must focus. We'll find her, the enemy won't kill her outright, they'd lose a bargaining chip against us. Haste will only make this more painful."
What he says makes sense, of course she's going to be alive. But how can I be patient? Alive doesn't mean they won't hurt her. "I just want her back... that's all I want right now..."
"I understand, and it will happen. Just give it time." Even if he's right it still makes me angry. I can't explain it, it's just how I feel. I'll keep my cool though, just to make him leave me alone.
"Let's just get back to class, I'm awake now..." Martin pats me on the shoulder a few times and smiles. We go back the way the way we came and continue with the rest of our day.
Despite the fact that I got hit with a book earlier, I still fell asleep in Fourth Hour. Once lunch is over I can sleep for the remainder of that class.
Instead of eating with everyone, I opted to go to the student lounge with Rom and Ram, basically taking Martin's place in distracting them while we plan. I can see why we're keeping them out of this, but they'll find eventually. But if I told them now, everyone would get more pissed at me than they already are.
This place doesn't get a lot of visitors anymore, hence why we're the only three people here. Rom's being quiet like she always is. Ram though, is silent too. It's surprising sure, though it's probably everyone's mood rubbing off on her.
I let out a yawn and close my eyes, I'm not planning on sleeping until after we get back to class, the light's just bothering me. Only a moment later, one of the twins tugs at my sleeve.
"Hey Jaaaaack." Ram this time, what does she want?
"Yeah?" My eyes are still closed.
"Why hasn't Nepgear been here for a couple of days?" Questions like this were expected, I'm sure Martin got questions like this. How should I approach this?
"She's... not feeling well. You know, people get sick." Hopefully that'll be enough to work on her, at least for now.
"Nepgear like never gets sick though! Her health is seriously freaky." Ram brings up a good point, I've never seen her even experience a symptom in the time I've known her. Maybe I could've given them a better lie.
"She hasn't... even been answering her phone... I'm worried about her..." It's always Rom's nature to be concerned about her friends. We're all concerned, I'm hurting so much right now... but I can't tell them about any of this.
"Nepgear just needs time to rest up. Being sick isn't fun right?" I open my eyes and force a smile. They're just kids, they don't need to be involved with this. Even if their world was taken, and they've seen much more, no kid should have to lose a friend.
The both look puzzled for a moment, but they quickly give me a smile of their own. They know something's wrong, these kids are smart as hell after all. And they'll force a smile with me.
I put a hand on each of their heads and gently rub them. If I remember correctly, Rom likes this a lot, and Ram should at least enjoy it slightly. Then again, I like my head being rubbed so I'm sure this is fine for them.
Both of them look comfortable, that puts me at ease. Even with Nepgear gone, I still have friends to make to make it less painful. I know when this is all over, I'm probably never going to see them again. So this time, we'll bring her back and send her off the right way.
"Hey Jack..." Rom calls to me.
"Yeah?"
"When Nepgear gets better, and when it warms up... can we go to the park and play again?" My chest tightens, I don't know what to say to her. I know I should say yes, but it feels like lying to them more. It hurts so much.
I fight back the feeling in my throat and smile. "Sure, that sounds nice."
Out of the corner of my eye, Rom looks worried at me. My answer might go over Ram's head, but Rom is perceptive, I know she'll find out. It's going to feel like hell when that happens.
We've still got some time until lunch ends, maybe I'll read to them some. I pull out a book from my messenger bag, pretty sure this is the book we're supposed to be reading for English, but whatever.
"You guys wanna read with me?" Even if I'm not in my right mind, I still have school work to deal with.
"Mhm" both of them say in unison, then they jump on the chairs armrests. There's something refreshing about seeing kids getting to be kids. I won't let their smiles go away, I'll keep them smiling like they should.
"Alright where was I? Ok there... 'I'm sorry, you have your reasons, and I have mine.'" Nothing else really happens for the rest of the day. My friends were right, it's going to take a while, things aren't just going to fall into place like we want them to.
More pain, more suffering... that's all that'll come out of this. But, I still have hope that we'll find something... soon. Just wait Nepgear, we're still looking for you.
A/N: Well, a large break means a slightly longer chapter. How's everyone doing... aside from the thing we're trying to distract ourselves from. On the bright side, I'm still employed! Downside is there's a lot of things that've gone since since the last update, again, sorry for the delay.
Still, with brighter news, I've made a discord server for anyone here that's interested. If you want to join, PM me for an invite link. With this, I can get more direct feedback, talk directly with people and just talk with some really cool people on the side. Interested? I'd like to get to know you guys.
Regardless, these Authors Notes sometimes get horribly dated, but this needs to be said. Stay safe, it's almost over. Wear a mask, wash your hands, see you in the next update.