I deactivated the suit where I stood, not caring about locking it away safely. I'd already taken off running before the last piece had hit the floor. I heard dad call my name but I ignored him and continued to run.

This couldn't be happening. It must have been a communications error. I must have heard it wrong. Coulson couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be.

The first thing I noticed as I ran into the lockup was that the huge circular glass prison that had been holding Loki was no longer there. In the back of my mind I realised this must have been the object I saw drop from the helicarrier earlier.

Then I saw him. He was slumped against the wall. He eyes were open, unblinking. There was a large blood stain on his shirt over his chest. I'd needed to see it with my own eyes to believe it, but now I knew that image would stay with me forever. I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks as I stood there, silently staring at his body. I was stuck, unable to move closer to him but not able to leave. I just stood there, wishing it wasn't true, wishing there was something I could do to bring him back.

I was grateful when I felt dad put an arm around me and lead me out of the room. "Let's go," he was muttering. I was surprised when I looked up into his face to see tears shining in his eyes.

He led me through the halls, his arm never leaving my shoulders. There was a large amount of destruction throughout the ship and some bodies lying prone on the floor but we didn't stop. He steered me into the conference room we'd had our conversation in, only hours before. It seemed like days ago.

After letting me cry silently for a few minutes, he spoke. "I'm sorry Morgan. I know he was a friend."

"He wasn't just a friend," I said despondently. "He was the one who got me through my first few months at S.H.I.E.L.D when I thought I couldn't do it. He helped me get back up every time I fell down. He helped me realise I had so much more potential than I ever knew."

I reached for the tissues he'd placed on the table and wiped the tears from my face.

"I don't know if I can do this without him," I mumbled.

"Of course you can." Dad sat down across from me and reached a hand over to grab one of mine. "You know that I don't like you working for S.H.I.E.L.D or flying around out there in your own suit, but from what I've already heard and seen, you're a brilliant S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Coulson saw that in you from the start, and now I am too. He believed in you Morgan, and he would want you to keep on going."

I wanted to enjoy his words. He was finally accepting me as an agent. But I only had one thought running across my mind now. "It's my fault."

"What?"

"This is my fault. I knew I should have stayed inside the ship and looked for Loki's men. But instead I went outside to fix the engine and now Coulson is dead."

"None of this is your fault-"

"Of course it is! I should have known they were going to free Loki. I should have gone straight to his cell and stopped them. You could have handled the engine yourself! I could have stopped them."

"Or maybe you would be dead too."

"Or maybe Coulson wouldn't be."

"You can't think about what could have been. All we can do is make sure we avenge Coulson."

I almost smiled as I heard the word. Was it ironic that Coulson had been the one to call the team The Avengers, and here we were, about to try and avenge his murder? The sad thing was, he was so excited about the team finally getting together, only he never truly got to see us together. All we'd done so far is fight and argue about S.H.I.E.L.D, Loki, and the Tesseract. We weren't a team. We weren't The Avengers. We were a mess.

I didn't even know who was left after the battle. I should have been more concerned for them. Gone looking for Natasha, or Steve, or Banner. But honestly, at that moment, I didn't care. Coulson was dead. Could it even get any worse?

Dad eventually left the room. Was he going to find out what we did from here? I knew we still needed to find the Tesseract, but all I cared about now was finding Loki. Dad was right, I was sure as hell going to avenge Coulson.

In my time at S.H.I.E.L.D I'd never had to kill anyone before. Now I found myself lusting after Loki's blood. I wanted to see the light drain from his eyes. I didn't even know if he could die, but I sure as hell wanted to try.

I don't know how long I sat in that room for. I was replaying everything that had happened today over and over in my mind. Dad accepted that I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D, I got engaged, talked to Loki and got him to reveal his plan, found out my mother had been murdered, helped save the ship from falling out of the sky. And Coulson died. How had all of this happened in just a few short hours. How could I go from feeling the happiest I had ever felt in my life, to the absolute worst? It all seemed like a dream. I wished it was. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

I wanted Coulson. He was a mentor, a friend, a father figure. How could someone just be gone? Here one moment and departed the next? His whole life, everything he'd worked and fought for, was gone because of one man. The worst part is I never got to tell him how much he really meant to me. I never got to tell him I admired him, that I looked up to him, that he was the agent that I aspire to be one day. He knew it, but knowing it and hearing it said aloud are two different things. And now I'll forever regret not telling him while he was alive.

The regret I felt at not telling Coulson how much he meant to me made me realise I couldn't keep fighting with dad. We'd both kept our fair share of secrets. We both had a right to be angry and resentful at the other but we just had to move past it. Life is short. We've all realised that today. And this war isn't over yet. In all likelihood, more people will die. Heaven forbid dad dies and I was still fighting with him about keeping secrets, I would never forgive myself. So I'm forgiving him. And I need to tell him this before anything else happens. Whatever comes next, we'll be facing it together, side by side.

As I was collecting myself, my phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket and looked at the caller ID. Daniel. As much as I wanted to hear his voice right now, I ignored his call. He would instantly be able to hear something was wrong in my voice and the second he asked about it, I knew I would break down into tears again, which is something which I just couldn't afford to do right now. My phone stopped ringing before letting out a beep, telling me he had left a message. I reminded myself to check it later.

I left the room to find dad, and to also find out what the next step was. We still have to find the Tesseract. We have to stop Loki and make sure Coulson's death wasn't in vain. Every hallway I walked down showed the scars of battle. Bullet holes covered the walls while the casings littered the floors. Explosions that had been extinguished left scorch marks in their place. Trails of blood weaved through the halls as injured agents ignored their wounds to keep doing their jobs.

As I stepped onto the bridge, I suddenly felt guilty for taking the time to mourn Coulson. Agents were still at their stations. Some keeping the helicarrier up in the air, others still monitoring for any signs of the Tesseract. All of these people missed Coulson, but they were still doing their jobs. They realised that it wasn't over yet. There would be time to mourn and cry later, but right now they were still saving the world.

And what had I been doing? Crying away in a room by myself. I felt guilty and ashamed. Coulson had taught me better than that. If the mission wasn't over, there was no time to stop for anything or anyone.

As I walked past the table, I saw a bunch of cards scattered across it. Some were coated in blood. I knew without picking them up that they were Coulson's Captain America cards, the ones he had been so desperate to get signed by the man himself. Now they were ruined; smeared with his blood and forever unsigned.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I had to push these feelings aside. I couldn't be sad anymore. I was an agent and I had a job to do.

I resumed roaming the halls in search in for dad. I was walking by the room where it happened when I heard Steve's voice.

"Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?" he asked.

I wondered if he was talking to another agent but then I heard dad's voice. "We are not soldiers." I was surprised to hear both sorrow and fury in his tone. I guess he was taking Coulson's death harder than I expected him to.

I walked into the room, which now looked large and empty without the glass prison sitting in the middle of it. It was just Steve and dad in the room.

"Where is everyone?" I asked. I made myself look at dad, and not at the blood stain on the wall.

"Well Thor and Banner are gone," dad replied.

"What do you mean gone?" I asked hurriedly. He obviously sensed my panic as he quickly explained that Thor had been trapped by Loki in the glass prison and dropped from the helicarrier while The Hulk had attacked a jet and fallen out of the sky.

I prayed that they were both alright. I had no idea if Asgardians were immortal and even though I knew The Hulk was tough, falling out of the sky was still a big deal.

"And Natasha's watching over Barton after she managed to get rid of Loki's control of him."

Well at least some good came out of the attack on the helicarrier. Natasha had her best friend back and he was no longer under Loki's spell. I'm sure she would feel relieved but it would be hard to feel happy after losing so much. Coulson was dead and Thor and Banner's whereabout were unknown. We were 3 men down and still had no clue as to where the Tesseract was and what Loki planned to do with it.

"So what do we do now?" I asked. We couldn't just give up but right now it seemed like we were losing the battle.

"We find out where Loki is and we stop him," Steve said, as if it was as simple as it sounded.

"We don't know where Loki is, or where he's going," I reminded him. "What about agent Barton? Does he remember anything about what he was doing for Loki or what his plans are?"

Dad shook his head as he leant against the railing. "Last thing he remembers is talking to you and Fury before Loki came through the portal and did his magic mind control voodoo."

I wondered if his comment was his way of subtly signalling that he knew that I was at the facility when it was destroyed.

"What about that tracking thing Dr Banner was working on to find the Tesseract?" Steve asked.

"All of the lab equipment was destroyed in the attack," dad said.

"I only managed to get a quick glimpse of where Banner had tracked the Tesseract to before the explosion," I said. "It was somewhere in Manhattan. But there's no guarantee he hasn't already moved it."

"Whatever Loki is planning is big and it's going to happen soon," Steve reasoned. "I think it will still be somewhere in New York."

Dad, who had tuned out of the conversation and had been staring at the patch of blood on the wall, suddenly spoke again. "He made it personal."

"That's not the point," Steve replied.

"That is the point. That's Loki's point. He hit us all right where we live. Why?"

"To tear us apart," I reasoned.

"Yeah, divide and conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? That's what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it."

"He wants an audience," I said, catching on.

"Right, I caught his act in Stuttgart," Steve said.

"Yeah, that was just previews. This is opening night. And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva right? He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered…."

Dad trailed off as all three of us realised who he'd also just described. We also instantaneously realised where Loki was going to initiate the last part of his plan.

"Son of a bitch."

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