The library was far from populated when Kara entered the next evening and found her way to the back corner and spread her materials out over a large desk. At first, she was grateful for this, as she knew it would help her stay focused on her studies. But to her surprise, this only lasted a few brief minutes before her mind wandered to her new acquaintance. Kara found herself looking at her watch repeatedly, after each paragraph she read in her book, until finally, a shadow appeared beside her.
"Damn, you're quiet," Kara said, upon jumping slightly in her seat after noticing Lena's silent presence.
Lena shrugged and sat down across from Kara at the table.
"How was your day?" she asked, offering Kara a smile.
"It was alright," Kara said quickly.
But she was thinking, I missed you.
"What about yours?" Kara asked curiously, pushing her book away towards the middle of the table and leaning back in her chair.
"It was…. eventful," Lena mused, setting her pile of books on the table.
"Yeah?"
"Mhmm. I got caught cheating on my transfiguration exam."
"First off, how do you even manage to cheat on an exam like that? And second of all… What? Lena, that's awful! Why would you—"
"Geez, Danvers, I was just kidding! I don't need to cheat to ace my tests," Lena laughed, crossing her arms over her chest.
Scowling in Lena's direction, Kara let out an audible huff and muttered, "Not funny. You know I'm a prefect. I can't let everything slide."
"Aww, c'mon," Lena sang. "You'd let me get away with anything. You're too sweet to rat me out."
Kara hesitated. Lena was wrong, wasn't she? Of course Kara would be honest. Well, maybe not about walking the halls at night, but anything else she'd really have to report. Especially cheating on a test.
"That's not true," Kara finally asserted. "I take my prefect duties seriously."
Lena smiled at her and said, "I'm glad to hear it. I don't want to be treated with favoritism."
Raising an eyebrow, Kara asked, "Really? You don't think I'm a nerd?"
"Oh, you're a nerd alright. But you're funny and sweet and you stick to your values, and I find that to be a very admirable quality, even if I don't take my own behavior as seriously as you do. I admire you for holding true to your morals, even with friends."
Friends? Kara was thinking. Just a few days ago, Lena was being standoffish in the hallway. Now, she's calling her a friend?
"Um…" Kara started, looking up at Lena. "Thank you." Then, after a bout of silence fell between them, Kara continued, "So… still reading about the mirror?"
Lena nodded casually and looked down at her stack of books.
"It's interesting," the brunette finally replied. "They say men have gone crazy staring into it, longing for what they see."
"Then why do you want to find it?" Kara asked curiously, resting her hands on the table.
"Oh… Um… I don't know… I mean…" Lena fumbled, cheeks tinting a shade of pink. "We all want what we can't have, don't we?"
Kara offered a puzzled expression as she looked at Lena, and when the girl didn't say anything, she gently pressed, "And what do you want?"
"I don't know," Lena groaned, opening the book on top of her pile and covering her face with it. "That's the thing."
"I don't get it," Kara admitted, befuddled. "How do you not know what you want most in the world?"
"Well, do you know what you want?" Lena quipped back, dropping the book with a loud bang and earning scowls from the students around them.
Kara paused, then quickly realized that she wasn't quite sure.
"Well, I… I mean… um… I guess I want to play quidditch professionally."
"You guess?"
"Well, yeah."
"See, that's it precisely. You're guessing. We're all only guessing. And I… I don't even have a guess. I don't know what I want. Who I want to be. What I want to do with my life. I have no idea," Lena confessed, the words pouring out like sand through and hourglass. "I know what my parents want, and what I've been told I should want, but I don't know what I want."
Kara watched silently for a few moments, giving Lena the space to cool down from her outburst. Even as Lena appeared furious, Kara was stunned by her beauty, so even after she wanted to speak, she found herself unable to do so.
"Do you see why now?" Lena asked the girl, shaking Kara from her distracted trance. "Do you see why I need to find it?"
Kara shrugged her shoulders and answered, "I think you'll find out what you want anyway. We're both still really young. We'll figure it out as we get older."
"I don't have time for that, Kara! I graduate this year! I need a job, and I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my life."
"Well, what if the mirror doesn't show you an occupation? What if it shows you, like… I dunno. A cat or something."
"A cat?" Lena asked quizzically, not understanding where Kara was going with this.
"I dunno. It's the first thing I thought of. Sorry. I just mean, what if it's not a job that you want most in the world?"
Lena looked stunned, as though she'd never considered this possibility before. Her family was so incredibly powerful and vocationally driven that she'd never thought of the meaning of life being anything other than an occupation.
"I don't know," Lena breathed, lowering her forehead until she was resting her head face-down in the book. "I'd just have to off myself at that point."
"Hey!" Kara hissed, in a yell-whisper, reaching out and grasping Lena's forearm. "Don't say that! You are not your job. You're you. Lena. Lena Luthor. No matter what you do for a job. Okay?"
Lifting her head, Lena looked into Kara's eyes and sighed.
"My family will disown me if I don't do what they want anyway, so I guess it doesn't really matter what I want."
"And what do you they want you to be?"
"They want me to be a professor here."
"Well, that's cool, right?" Kara asked, sounding genuine.
"They want me to be a professor here so that I can become headmistress of the school."
Leaning back in her chair, Kara went wide-eyed and breathed, "Wow. That's a little intense."
"They want me to be in power. Lex is working towards becoming the Minister for Magic. The least I could do was make headmistress here."
"Wow, Lena. That's… a lot of pressure."
"You think I don't know that?" Lena snapped. "That's what I live with every single day. Their bullshit expectations of me."
"Hey… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Do you want to change the subject? Or we can go outside. It's snowing."
"It's dark out."
"So?"
"So… I mean… It's cold, and…"
"Since when is Miss Lena Luthor bothered by the cold?"
"I'm not," Lena whined, exasperated. "I'm sorry, Kara. I'm just… worked up. It's stupid. I need to just get over it. I just… Nevermind. You're right. Let's go outside."
After putting their things away, the two made their way out into the courtyard that was lit up by lampposts and walked side-by-side down the path.
"Kara?" Lena finally asked, after silence fell between them and all they could hear was other students being rowdy nearby.
"Hmm?"
"I don't want… I don't want power."
Stopping in her tracks, Kara nodded her head and said, "I understand."
Lena looked incredibly sullen, though, and despite how incredibly beautiful her solemn features were, Kara wanted her smile to return more than anything. That being the case, Kara made a bold move and gracefully grabbed Lena's green and silver scarf from around her neck and tugged it off, bolting for the other side of the courtyard.
"Bet ya can't catch me!" Kara shouted, grinning back at Lena, who was standing in place, dumbfounded.
"Give it back!" Lena called out, crossing her arms over her chest.
Kara continued to laugh as she wrapped the Slytherin scarf around her neck, on top of her own gold and scarlet scarf.
"Hey, look!" she yelled. "Lena, I'm a Slytherin now!"
"Hardly!" Lena huffed, scowling.
"Aww, c'mon, Lena! Don't you think I can pull it off?"
"You look ridiculous!"
Still smiling, warm and bright, Kara walked back over to her friend and unwrapped the scarf from around her neck. Holding it out to Lena, she waited, but when Lena reached for it, Kara tugged it away.
"Fight me for it."
"Don't be stupid," Lena barked. "Give it back. You're making a scene."
"Let them look," Kara said confidently, taking a daring step closer.
More than anything – anything – she wanted to kiss those deep red lips. Knowing full well she couldn't, Kara felt a crashing wave of reality collapse over her and immediately let the scarf drop back into Lena's hands.
"Sorry," she mumbled, taking a large step away and dropping her gaze to her boots. "That was stupid."
Lena hesitated, watching the way Kara's hair fell in her eyes and covered her glasses when she looked down that way.
"Kara… It's… It's okay. I shouldn't have been so serious… You were just joking. I'm sorry."
"I should walk you back to your dorm," Kara said softly, not making eye contact.
"Kara. Hey. Come on."
"We should go."
"Kara!"
Shaking her head, unable to wipe the expression of intense disappointment from her features, Kara took several steps back towards the castle as Lena watched, completely confused by the girl's rapid change in demeanor. Feeling as though she'd done something wrong, Lena followed Kara into the castle, keeping a short distance from her as she walked.
Kara didn't know if she had it in her to walk Lena all the way to her common room to say goodbye. She wasn't sure she even had the strength to walk away saying nothing. The unusual, unfamiliar pangs of longing were twisting her guts into shapes she'd never even imagined possible. But Lena was oblivious, and Kara knew this, so she simply kept her head down and forced herself to take every solemn step to the Slytherin common room.
"Kara," Lena whispered, bravely taking her friend's hand. "What just happened back there?"
Kara shook her head and muttered, "Gotta go. Have a good night."
"I… Okay, I guess… I'll, um… see you around?"
Kara nodded weakly and walked away, feeling pathetic for the longing that had bubbled up within her.
Lena spent the rest of the evening in a lounge chair near the fire, thinking about the way Kara had stolen her scarf with such a bright, incredible smile until she fell asleep in the chair.