The girls were gentle with each other over the next few days, knowing that either could break at any moment from as little as a word. Kara gave Lena continuous apologetic glances while eating, to which Lena would sigh, shake her head, and chastise the blonde, "Stop. It's okay." Kara would look down and away, nodding her head weakly in understanding, and then give her the look again almost immediately, as soon as Lena looked away from her. She couldn't shake the realization that she'd almost lost Lena completely. Had almost let her go. And even though each time Kara's eyes dropped to Lena's lips, she ached to kiss her, she shoved the impulse down, far from where she could reach it, and focused on their friendship. After all, she'd decided, Lena's friendship was worth all the pain in the world. If she had to bleed internally to keep Lena in her life, she'd do it.
"Kara?" Lena asked, as they sat in the Great Hall for lunch, blushing slightly when she noticed Kara looking only slightly below her eyes.
The thought – which was more like a fantasy – that Kara might be looking at her lips made Lena weak and glad she was seated, rather than standing on her legs that felt like Jell-O.
"Huh?" Kara said, startled out of her stupor of longing.
"You okay?" Lena asked with concern. "You, um… You were kinda staring."
"What? N-No, I wasn't…" Kara fumbled to say, cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. "I was just…"
Not wanting to press the issue, Lena quickly recovered, saying, "Okay. Sorry. Glad you're okay."
Kara nodded and turned her attention back to her food.
"I'm not fragile, you know," Lena said suddenly, when she caught Kara once again looking at her with sadness in her eyes.
"What?" Kara asked, confused.
"You're not going to break me."
But I almost lost you, Kara wanted to say. I can't lose you again.
Instead, she decided on, "I would never want to. I'm just… worried."
That was as close as she could get to the truth without more words tumbling out and betraying her true feelings.
"What are you worried about?" Lena asked curiously. Then, watching Kara's melancholy expression intensify and realizing exactly what she was concerned about, Lena instinctively put her hand on top of Kara's and softly promised, "I won't leave."
"Are you sure?" Kara said, almost in a whimper as her voice broke and gave away her insecurities.
Lena nodded, explaining, "I don't want to. I don't want to lose you, Kara." Then, shyly, she looked down and said under her breath, "You're my only friend."
Without hesitation, Kara started to tear up, not letting the tears fall, and embraced Lena tightly, resting her head on the girl's shoulder.
"I'll always be your friend, Lena," Kara vowed, nearly choking on the words as she considered just how much more she really wanted but knew she couldn't have.
"Do you promise?" Lena whispered, raising her gaze to meet Kara's, her voice sounding as small and unsure as Kara's had.
The blonde nodded, grasping her friend's hand and squeezing it before agreeing, "Promise."
"Pinkies don't swear?" Lena offered, lightening the mood with a smile as she flipped Kara the middle finger.
Kara laughed and wrapped her own middle finger around Lena's before leaning over and resting her head on Lena's shoulder.
"You're wonderful, you know," Kara told her, the words slipping out like a sled rapidly increasing in speed as it flew down a snow-covered hill.
Lena shook her head and mumbled, "Nah," but Kara nudged her shoulder with her head.
"Thank you for giving me a second chance, Lena," Kara managed to say, starting to choke up once again at the thought of losing the girl that had become her closest friend.
Lena shrugged and explained, "How could I not? The sound of you crying broke my heart, Kara. I can't stand to see you in pain. And honestly? A lot would be missing in my life without you in it."
Not truly believing what she'd heard, Kara asked, "Why?"
Sighing, Lena allowed herself to confess, "Because when I'm with you, I'm home. And I've never felt that before. With anyone. Even my family."
Mouth hanging slightly agape, Kara found herself not knowing what to say, but incredibly grateful for Lena's words.
"I…" Kara tried, swallowing hard. "I feel that too."
Rubbing her thumb over the back of Kara's hand, Lena smiled softly at the blonde and braved the move of kissing her cheek. Instantly, Kara turned a deep shade of red, feeling her stomach turn.
Lena, seeing Kara's reaction, mumbled, "Sorry," and quickly pulled away, scooting over slightly on the bench, away from the Gryffindor.
"No, it's… It's okay…" Kara said, choking down every word she wanted to say. "I don't mind."
Looking relieved, Lena let out a sigh and reached for Kara's hand again, holding it tightly under the table.
Of course, students from all houses were staring at them at that point, seeing the playful and loving gestures they made towards each other, but Kara and Lena didn't notice.
After a pause, Lena finally let go of Kara's hand and said, "I gotta start studying for my N.E.W.T.s. Do you want to come to the library with me?"
Kara nodded and said, "Sure," so Lena smiled and rose from the table. "It's not even Christmas break yet, though. Shouldn't you wait to study?"
Lena shook her head, telling Kara, "No way. Better to be ready than scrambling at the last minute. Besides, I need to get an exceeds expectations on all of them, or my family will lynch me." Kara bit her lip, looking at Lena sadly, to which Lena shook her head and said, "Don't. It's fine. Let's go, though, okay?"
Again, Kara nodded and followed Lena to the library, walking closer to her friend than necessary the entire way.
Sitting in the back of the library together, the girls remained quiet as Lena studied and Kara blew off her homework in favor of doodling in her notebook with her quill.
"I fucking hate divinations," Lena blurted suddenly, startling Kara to attention.
"Why?" Kara asked. "It was easy."
"It was stupid. I don't even know why they put it on the final exams. Absolutely pointless," Lena huffed, her aggravation displayed clearly in her facial features and body language.
"I mean, it wasn't the best class, but—"
"Studying for this is just bringing up some shit for me, okay?" Lena confessed. "It's dumb but whatever."
Kara tilted her head with curiosity and asked, "Like what?"
"When I took the class in third year, the professor predicted – and told the entire class – that I was destined for 'greatness.' Obviously, the whole class laughed, because I was mostly a nobody, in comparison to my brother. I hated it. Not the laughing, but that ridiculous 'prophecy.'"
Kara blinked several times before asking, "What's so wrong with that? I believe it."
Laughing, Lena challenged, "Me? Greatness? Seriously? Come on, Kara. I keep my head down for a reason. Only my mother thinks I should be headmistress and help take over the whole wizarding world with my brother."
"You said your brother is going for Minister for Magic, right?" Kara confirmed.
Lena nodded.
"He'll get it too, if no one steps up to stop him."
Kara laughed and teased, "Maybe it'll be me. Maybe I'll forget about Quidditch and take his job."
Lena burst out laughing, earning scowls from nearby students who were trying to study.
"You could, though!" she cried, almost crying from laughing so hard.
She was loud enough that a young Ravenclaw walked over to them and boldly asked, "Could you please keep it down? We're trying to read."
Having to cover her mouth to silence her eruption of laughter at the thought of brother being ousted by a young woman like Kara, Lena choked back the noises she was making as Kara did the same.
"S-Sorry," Kara giggled, then covered her mouth again.
After a moment, the two finally stopped laughing and returned their voices to whispers.
"I'd never want that job," Kara chuckled softly. "Just a bunch of meetings and way too much power. Give me a broom over that any day."
Suddenly looking quite serious, Lena lowered her voice and said, "You know… You'd be perfect for the job. Not power-hungry. Not pompous. Having everyone's best interest in mind. Actually… Yeah. You'd be incredible."
Kara was instantly sobered by Lena's words and the softened look she was giving her. It was something like admiration. Almost— No. She's just thinking, Kara told herself, interrupting the thought that maybe Lena had love in her eyes. It looked that way, though, so even though Kara told herself to ignore it, it was difficult to do so, because Lena continued to look at her with that same expression, her lips curled upwards into a subtle smile.
"W-Why are you looking at me like that?" Kara finally asked, when Lena didn't say anything else.
Fighting the impulse to shake her head to clear the look off her face – and Lena knew exactly what look it was – the brunette answered, "Huh? Sorry. Zoning out."
Of course, Kara immediately knew Lena was lying. It was obvious. She couldn't quite place what the look was, but she knew the Slytherin girl was thinking something she wasn't saying. Still, Kara decided to let it go, preferring to be gentle rather than pushy.
"Anyway," Lena said, to shift the conversation in a different direction. "What are you doing for Christmas break?"
Kara hesitated, then answered simply, "Staying here."
"What? Why?" Lena asked, brow furrowed with concern.
Didn't everyone go home for Christmas?
"That's just what Alex and I have done every year," Kara answered with a shrug.
"Alex?"
"My sister."
"You have a sister?!" Lena gaped. "You never told me that!"
"Lena, shh! You're gonna get us in trouble," Kara laughed, noting the Slytherin's change in volume. "And yes, I have a sister. She's a seventh year."
"Wow," Lena said. "I feel weird about not knowing that until now. How could I not have asked about your family? Geez. I must talk more about myself than you do. Sorry, Kara. Apparently, I have a big mouth."
"No, no! It's really okay! I like hearing about you. I like when you tell me things about your life," the blonde assured her friend, taking Lena's hand in her own from across the table.
"What's Alex like?"
"Oh. Well… She's… I mean, she's great. We're closer now than we were before, but… I don't really tell her much. She's more into… her own thing. She wants to be an auror when she graduates. Save the world and all that."
"Oh, gosh," Lena breathed. "That's amazing. Being an auror would be awesome… I could never do it."
"You're smart enough. Bold enough. You care enough. Why not?"
Lena shook her head quickly and replied, "It's just not me. Besides, I have to be headmistress, remember?"
The brunette forced a soft laugh, trying to make light of the destiny she wanted nothing to do with, but Kara could tell it was fake.
"You should do what you want to do, Lena. And I'll support you in anything you choose," Kara promised. Then, she added, "Even if it's not what your family wants."
"Really?"
"Of course, silly. What else are friends for?"
Offering a warm smile, Kara squeezed Lena's hand. Lena then went back to studying after returning the smile, and Kara went back to doodling. An hour or so later, when Lena had finally studied herself into exhaustion, she dropped the book on the table and leaned back in her chair.
"Can't do it," she huffed, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes.
When Lena's hands fell away from her face, Kara stared, noting how different she looked without the corrective lenses. With her glasses, Lena looked intelligent and beautiful. Without, she was elegant, and her cheek bones were more visible, enhancing her radiance.
"Come on," Lena said, rising from the table without noticing Kara staring and quickly putting her glasses back on. "It's snowing again."
"And?" Kara asked, tilting her head as she looked up at Lena, who was packing her books away.
"And I'm bored. Let's go outside."
With a shrug, Kara rose to her feet, gathered her things, and followed Lena out of the library.
As soon as they were outside, standing in the lamplight watching the light snow fall, Lena felt something in her stomach flip. The last time they'd been here, things had gone sour quickly. There was nothing more she wanted in the world than to keep Kara as a friend, so her glance in Kara's direction very unintentionally became one of thoughtful concern.
Kara, catching her gaze, asked, "What's wrong?"
Lena cleared the throat to shake herself from her worries and thought quickly on her feet.
"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about how great this would look on you," the Slytherin managed to say, shocking Kara beyond belief as she slowly removed her own green and silver scarf and wrapped it around Kara's neck with care.
At first, Kara couldn't really believe it. Lena was letting her wear her scarf! The interaction was so starkly different from the one they'd had in the previous snowstorm that Kara's head was spinning. It didn't help that Lena's careful hands lightly touching her sent shivers down her spine. Quickly, the prefect reminded herself that she was not alone in a room with her thoughts, but rather in the presence of her favorite person in the world.
Diving headfirst back into the moment, Kara grinned at Lena and clapped her hands, announcing, "I knew I'd look good as a Slytherin!"
"Well…" Lena started, wearing a crooked smile. "You're not really a Slytherin. I mean you're wearing both scarves."
"So what does that make me?" Kara asked playfully.
"A Slytherdor?"
The two laughed, and Kara gave Lena's shoulder a strong nudge, unintentionally forcing her to stumble a step backwards and slide in the snow until she was seated in the snowbank beside them.
"Hey!" Lena cried. "Not nice!"
Mouth agape, Kara dropped to her knees, not caring if her clothes got wet, and reached out to help Lena out of the snow. To her surprise, though, Lena grabbed hold of her forearm and pulled hard, making Kara fall directly on top of her, their faces so close together that they could see their breath mingling in the air between them.
"I'm… I'm s-sorry," Kara stammered. "I didn't mean to—"
"Get a fucking room!" one of Kara's Gryffindor classmates shouted, interrupting Kara's sincere, panicked apology.
"Or switch houses, Lena," a nearby Slytherin boy hissed. "You're more of a Gryffindor than a Slytherin if you're hanging out with that fucking Mudblood dyke. Do us all a favor and keep that shit to yourself or just fucking leave the school so we don't all have to gag over it."
Kara's mouth was hanging open again, but Lena paid her no mind and used surprising force to move Kara off of her in order to stand. As soon as Kara realized that Lena was reaching for her wand, she scrambled out of the snow and grabbed her wrist.
"Hey, don't!" Kara cried. "Lena, don't! It's not worth it. They're not worth it."
Lena's hand was clenched in a tight fist, and the scowl on her face and fire in her eyes were something Kara had never seen before. This was beyond anger. This was a desire for vengeance.
"I'm gonna put this slug out of his misery," she growled, pushing Kara away and pulling her wand from her cloak pocket.
"Lena, no!" the prefect tried, once again scrambling for Lena's wrist and holding onto it tighter this time, to keep her wand lowered. "Let it go."
"Try it, you filthy swine," the Slytherin boy urged her. "Just try it. Watch me get you both expelled."
"Back off," Kara growled, her own anger finally triggered by the insult to Lena. "Call me what you want, but if you say one more word about Lena…"
"You'll what, Miss Prefect?" the Slytherin laughed. "Fly around me on a broom without paying any attention to where you're going and crash into a tree before you can even do anything? It's amazing you didn't die in that Quidditch match. She should've let you."
"No," Kara snapped. "I'll have the professors take twenty points from Slytherin for harassment. Good luck winning the house cup."
Looking sour, the Slytherin boy, not having much to say to that, simply grumbled, "Yeah, whatever," and finally walked away from them.
As soon as his back was turned, though, Lena raised her wand again.
"Lena!" Kara shouted, grabbing her arm to hold it down for the third time. "Put it away."
"I'm gonna put it away up his disgusting ass," the angered brunette told her, her scowl not subsiding.
"Hey," Kara said gently, her expression softening as she moved around to Lena's front. "It's okay. They're just talking. It's just words. We're okay."
"But he called you—"
"Lena. I don't care what he called me. We're okay. It's okay. Besides, he's right."
"What?"
"I am a Mudblood," Kara said with a shrug, looking down slightly.
She almost said, And a dyke, but she found herself quite grateful that that part didn't come out.
"I don't care," Lena said hurriedly, taking Kara's hands. "You know that, right? You know I don't care about that?"
Kara nodded slowly and answered, "Yeah. When you told me, I believed you. Still do. Obviously, you don't hate me if you let me wear your scarf."
Their smiles returned, and Lena couldn't stop herself from hugging Kara tightly, their cold cheeks pressed together as they embraced.
"Come on," Kara offered, only when Lena finally pulled away. "It's late. We gotta get to bed."
Lena nodded, not wanting their night to end, and fell into step beside her friend as they walked back into the castle.
"So, have you done any more searching for the, um… that thing?" Kara asked casually, remaining conscious of the fact that they were not alone in the hallways as they walked together.
Lena laughed in response and told her, "Of course not. I've been with you every waking moment, you goober."
"Oh, yeah. I guess that's true," Kara chuckled. Then, thoughtfully, she added, "And I'm glad for it."
"You don't want me to look for the mirror?"
"Oh, no. It's not that. I just like spending time with you."
Lena smiled at this.
Then, Kara felt her heart sinking as she realized that they'd finally arrived at the Slytherin common room. Freezing in her tracks, Kara bit down on her lower lip.
"What's wrong?" her friend asked, touching her arm to get her attention.
Kara shook her head and mumbled, "I should go."
"Hey, come on. Don't do that. Tell me what's up," Lena pleaded with her.
After a pause, Kara looked up, her whole world crashing as she met Lena's gaze.
"Christmas break starts tomorrow."
"You want to go home?" Lena asked curiously, not quite understanding where Kara was going with this.
But Kara shook her head and told her, "It's not that."
"Kara, what is it? What's wrong?"
Eyes welling with tears completely against her will, Kara confessed, "I don't want you to go. I'm gonna miss you."
"Oh, Kara," Lena sighed, wrapping her arms around the younger girl and holding her close. "It's okay. It's not like I'm never coming back."
Kara sniffled and returned her friends hug with a nod, saying, "I know. I'll still miss you, though."
"I'll miss you too, Kara," Lena told her. "You know I will."
This actually earned a small smile from Kara, who was relieved to hear those words.
"You'll come back though, right?"
Laughing, Lena nodded and said, "Of course. I promise."
"Good. It's gonna be hella boring without you in the castle."
"Probably. We gotta get some sleep, though," Lena announced, interrupting the sensitive moment to make sure they would both get enough rest that night. "I have to pack tomorrow, but you can see me off at the train if you want?"
With a nod, Kara said, "Please," and hugged her friend one last time before waving goodbye and leaving Lena to rest, completely forgetting that she was still wearing Lena's Slytherin scarf.