Chapter 19 - Private Words
The Nautilus, Celtic Sea: September 13th
Sawyer took a deep breath of the ocean air around him. The evening was drawing in and the sky was draped in a hazy red blanket. It had been the previous night when they had faced their enemy. The League's morale was on the mend, but their spirits were still down, even with Quatermain's return.
The League had caught up on their sleep throughout the day. Pavan had already started the Nautilus on her long journey to the infamous Island X. The news flew around the ship and Sawyer knew the crew was worried. The facts stayed the same at least but soon everyone knew about it. They knew Sawyer and Jekyll had failed in saving the captain.
He crossed his arms on top of the railing and rested his head on top as the Nautilus sped along the water. She would have to come to a stop in the morning to recharge her solar panels, but that would then last a few days.
Within the hour Sawyer had been at the surface, he had succeeded in making himself feel quite sick with annoyance and mounting concern. A lot had happened in one day, the possible had been far from achieved and the impossible had come into the light.
Only in the League can that happen - man did I screw up again!
Sawyer couldn't believe he had failed. He could outdrive a chain reaction of falling buildings to save an entire city from destruction, but he couldn't save one man in a mad chase. A man who was trapped living in his worst nightmare and Sawyer could do nothing to help now for weeks.
For all Sawyer knew, that may have been the last opportunity he would ever have to save the captain. He maybe wouldn't even see him, or Ishmael, again. Though he was growing to accept it, his mistakes had still caused the deaths of two companions. He hoped failing this time had not resulted in a third or even fourth loss.
He pulled himself out of his bleak thoughts as the door opened. Quatermain approached and stood by Sawyer's side.
Well, one and a half deaths, Sawyer mentally added.
"It's a bit late for you to be out. I thought you'd be at the dinner table by now," Quatermain said.
"Oh, uhh... yeah. I guess I'm not that hungry. I think I'm full up on flies from when Jekyll and I were driving," Sawyer said trying to make light of the situation. He rubbed the back of his neck from where the crash had jolted it.
Quatermain cleared his throat. "A little invisible bird told me what happened after I was stabbed. He also told me how you were when he went to pick you up."
The agent sighed in defeat and looked out onto the horizon. "He tell you anything else?"
"He did, though I'd rather you told me why you felt you were not worthy of re-joining the League."
"I... uh..."
"Sawyer, out with it."
Quatermain leaned on the top of his gun, waiting for an understandable reply.
Sawyer sighed. "I guess I just... felt like I'd... failed. Heh, guess I failed again. I failed my best friend, I failed you, Skinner almost died, I failed Nemo and Ishmael, and I have failed the League. Quatermain, I can't keep messing up like this! Not when the stakes are so high."
"You can't succeed at every single mission you're put up against- I certainly haven't. You can only do your best, and that's what you have done. You know that- we all know that."
Sawyer looked up towards Quatermain. He looked surprised but more disappointed in the young agent.
"So I keep telling myself, but my best obviously isn't enough," Sawyer argued.
"Don't be stupid, lad. Think of what you have done. You've stopped Moriarty where hundreds have failed. You've helped save the world from an all-out war, you saved Venice, kept the League together when it nearly fell apart, Sawyer you've done so much lad. If you can do all that within a few weeks then I know that you can get Nemo back." Sawyer sighed, his focus shifted onto the sea again.
Quatermain didn't stop. "The rest of the League didn't go to get you for you to do this by yourself. You don't have to accept all responsibility for this. Why are you doing this to yourself?"
Sawyer looked down at the ground, it wasn't easy finding his words. "I just can't let another friend down."
"You won't, Tom. Though I don't know what happened to your friend, I know for certain that you did everything you could for him. As for me, it was my time and I would die again if it meant you were safe," Quatermain reassured him boldly.
Quatermain stood up straight and looked at Sawyer. "Look, we aren't chasing after someone like Moriarty this time. If you think he's smart then you're in for a shock. Les Hommes Mystérieux has skills that the League simply does not have. We're more of a fighting force. They have some of the best brains in the world with thousands of men ready to be called up to help them. Their intelligence and fame are their strengths, but if we can find a weak spot and strike with our strengths, we might have a chance. We have to be clever about this and work together. We can still get them back."
"I know. I'm just worried for them in the meanwhile... Quatermain, you didn't see Ishmael's face just from seeing Robur's flag. He was terrified, he nearly collapsed and that's not like Ishmael. I want to help them, but how can I from here?"
"First off, you can go and get some supper and keep your strength up. After that, I'll explain all that I know and after I need your help to get the crew's morale up - and the League's for that matter. Right now, we need our optimistic lad back. Can you do that for Nemo and Ishmael?"
"I'll give it my best shot," Sawyer sighed.
"Good. Promise me one thing, Sawyer. If I, or any other dies, don't hold yourself responsible. Hindsight is a cruel thing and there's nothing anyone can do to change fate," Quatermain implored. Sawyer nodded with a faint frown.
The door to inside the ship opened and Skinner appeared, fully dressed. "Come on, you two. Food's getting cold."
"We'll be right down. Go on ahead, Skinner," Quatermain said.
Once the invisible thief had left, Quatermain said "Chin up. Have five minutes and clear your head. You did well yesterday, you really did. I'm proud of you, lad."
With that, Quatermain followed after Skinner. Sawyer took a few deep breaths to steady himself. He kept repeating what Quatermain had said to him in his head and couldn't stop himself smiling. Quatermain was proud of him.
He took in the open air to further settle himself from both his sorrow and happiness - it was a strange combination. Quatermain was right. This was the best way for him to help his friends. He had to hold onto hope and help everyone else too.
Now was the time to really stop feeling sorry for himself. He had to do as both Skinner and Quatermain had asked of him. Though Skinner had helped him to get on the mend, Quatermain had given him that extra boost he needed, even if he wasn't used to giving talks like that. It would take time, but he couldn't keep lingering over past mistakes. Quatermain telling him that seemed to make so much difference. He couldn't let them down because he was too busy looking behind him. Tomorrow was where he lived and breathed, and he needed to return to that.
With a nod of approval to himself, Sawyer took a deep breath and went back inside the Nautilus. Though his guilt tried to say otherwise, he had to have been starving.
The Albatross : September 14th
In the early afternoon, two days after the League's rescue attempt, Lupin made his way to Nemo's room. Lupin opened the door with the key that sat in his pocket and went inside. He was pleased to see Nemo had eaten the meal that had been brought for him. At first, he thought Nemo was asleep but he sat up in his bed, ready for anything. A flash of pain seemed to appear on his face as he moved but it disappeared as quickly as it came.
"Lupin," he greeted, though with a coldness in his tone. He moved to sit on the edge of his bed and rubbed the sleep from his eye.
"Captain. Have you calmed yourself after all that excitement yesterday?"
The captain narrowed his eyebrows. No, he still wasn't too collected about it. "Somewhat," Nemo grumbled. Lupin noticed one of the pairs of handcuffs had been removed, but the other was still attached to one of Nemo's wrists - so it could easily be refastened.
" Très bon . I can take you to see Ishmael for a few minutes should you consent to come with me," Lupin offered. Nemo looked at him with a sceptical expression "Why should I trust what you say when I have discovered you to be in the employ of that animal? This explains how you found your way around my ship. He still has the blueprints."
"Yes, that is correct. Put away your scowl, monsieur; it does not suit you. I may be under his employ as you say, but I am not Robur. The choice is yours. I can leave if you wish but I have no reason to lie."
Nemo was too eager to see his first mate to not risk it. He got up from the bed with a sigh, stiff from lying for so long. Lupin reattached the handcuffs behind his back. The thief had no doubt in his mind that if the chance came, Nemo would be gone and try to flee.
Lupin led Nemo out of his room and through the ship. The captain wordlessly took in his surroundings as they walked. He refrained from struggling and instead hoped Lupin was being truthful. Lupin did not bother with the blindfold. It would serve little purpose now. Nemo was well aware of where he was and he already knew his way around. The blindfold had been a precaution to stop him from bolting away whilst they were still on the ground. Being in the air would hopefully pose less of a problem.
They stopped at a door. "You can only have a few minutes. You can have more time once you start work. That is my own offer to you," Lupin said as he released one of Nemo's wrists, to give him full movement again. He then unlocked the door and opened it for him to enter.
Nemo chose to ignore the thief and went inside to find Ishmael pacing back and forth. He froze upon seeing who had entered.
"Captain!" he exclaimed. It was then Lupin shut the door with a gentle thud. Nemo was grateful for the privacy.
"We don't have long, are you alright?" Nemo asked, walking over to him and putting his hand on Ishmael's shoulder.
"I'm unhurt. Robur made me stay behind to make it clear not to cause any more trouble."
"As long as you are unharmed, that is my main concern."
"You shouldn't worry about me, Captain. I'll be fine," Ishmael reassured him. "But you were hurt on the Nautilus-"
"My wounds have healed enough," Nemo reassured. "I only regret being unable to help you yesterday, please accept my apologies."
As Ishmael smiled, a gloom seemed to cloud his eyes. "Please don't, Captain. I knew it all held little chance of success."
Nemo frowned in concern. "Then… why would you do it?"
Ishmael looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. "I couldn't stand to see him standing there... after everything he's done. For him to lie to our face! You didn't deserve to go through that again... After all, at the very worst, Robur would have lost his hostage."
Nemo took Ishmael firmly by the arm. "Swear to me you won't be so reckless again. I cannot have you harmed, Ishmael."
"You've my word. I am sorry, Captain. I just couldn't stand there and listen to that slug manipulating everything. I couldn't stand it!"
"I understand. Let's try not to concern ourselves with that anymore. There are more immediate matters to consider."
"With any luck we won't be here long at least." Then Ishmael leaned in close and whispered, "The League are on their way, I think. They know about the Island. I'm sure it's where we're heading."
A dim hope filled Nemo eye's and lit up his face. This reminded him of something. "Yes, I saw the League following me. How are Sawyer and Jekyll? Did you see them?"
"Aye, I caught a glimpse of them. They're both walking so I think it's nothing serious. I was grabbed quickly so I don't know much else. I didn't get time to speak to them."
"Good. I feared that they had not made it out of the crash."
"No, Captain. They'll be fine. Everyone is fine, that I know of, I promise."
The first mate's face fell. "You should know... I showed Mr Sawyer Janni's book to try to find a lead in which to find you with. He never opened it and I accept full responsibility-"
"It's alright, Ishmael. The League will learn the truth about me soon enough. You made the right decision," the captain smiled softly. It was a genuine smile which offered relief and comfort to his first mate.
"What do we do until the League finds us?" Ishmael asked, ensuring Nemo was the only one who could hear him.
"For now, we will have to remain compliant. We will avenge those we have lost, even if it kills me- that I swear to you, but until the League is here, do not give Robur an excuse to-"
It was then Lupin opened the door "Time's up, I'm afraid." Nemo took a measured breath. He looked at his first mate and gave the most reassuring look he could muster with a firm nod.
Nemo needed Ishmael to be strong for both their sakes. Many thought that Nemo's strength came from himself. It was untrue; without his crew he would have still been a different man- that barbaric monster who slaughtered hundreds of men. Ishmael had been the one to challenge his actions and made him see sense about his attacks on other ships. Nemo only wished his first mate had done so sooner.
"Trust me," Nemo said before walking over to Lupin, who was stood waiting. Lupin fastened the handcuffs to his hands once again and escorted him out. Nemo kept his eye on Ishmael until the door was shut with a feeble creak. As much as he despised the situation he was in, he was somewhat grateful to see a friendly face. Nemo swore to himself to do all he could to protect Ishmael - even if it meant helping Robur. Nemo could safely drag his heels to make progression slower. It would be worth it if the League was able to save them.
As they walked down the hallways, Nemo remained lost in thought. He had met Ishmael long before any of the other crew. They saw each other every day for seven years on the island before living together for about twenty five years so far on the Nautilus. That was thirty two years in total. For thirty two years Ishmael had been by his side and even after all this time he remained loyal to a fault. After all Nemo had done, all his hideous and appalling mistakes. The horrors his madness had created… Still, Ishmael was there. He was always there when Nemo needed him.
When Dorian Gray had shot Ishmael in Venice, Nemo thought he had lost him. He couldn't have coped without him. He still couldn't. Ishmael was so much more than a first mate. Nemo would proudly call him his brother. He was the closest thing he had left to family.
"Thank you for not fighting me," Lupin said. "Here let's get these off and save your wrists."
Nemo nodded but didn't really respond. Lupin freed Nemo's wrists entirely and left him in his cell. Nemo watched the door shut and lock with a click.
Nemo wouldn't risk losing Ishmael again. Ishmael had already lost too much because of that monster, just as Nemo had. Nemo would not let him suffer any more through Robur's hands. He'd die before any harm came to Ishmael again.
Let us hope it does not come to that…