Jack:
I knocked on the door of Graham's guest bedroom.
"Enter," the Doctor said.
I opened it and found the Doctor sitting cross-legged on the bed.
"How are you today?" I asked.
"This is the second night I've slept in the bed," she said. "That's an improvement from three days ago, right?"
"You still aren't talking much," I said.
"I haven't had much practice over the last two years."
"You aren't talking about the Timeless Child revelation."
"Jack," she said with a sigh. "To know who you were has been corrupted, is a lot to take in. I know I am more than my origins. I don't know how to talk about it."
"Start now," I said, taking a seat on the bed.
"I can't," the Doctor said. "It's too painful."
"That's why I'm here," I said.
"Prison, the Master, nearly getting killed a few times last week," she said. "My head's in knots."
"I'm not leaving, Doctor. We need to talk."
"You've never talked much about your feelings," she said with an edge.
"Don't try to change the subject. This is about you, not me," I said.
"What do you want me to say? That I am petrified of my own mind? The idea that there so many versions of me flying through the universe, I may never know about, is insane. I am more alone than I ever imagined. I can't stay in the shower for more than two minutes because that is how long the Judoon gave, me and I never felt clean enough. I'm a mess Jack! How about that?"
"I'd say that is a start," I said.
She hugged her arms.
"I remember you used to be very love dovey when you had spikey hair," I said.
"Touch doesn't feel right," she said. "Not to this body. I just, I'm afraid. I think I am adjusting to being a woman."
"You don't have to be afraid around me," I said and offered my hand.
She slowly extended her hand out to hold it. It was a gentle grip.
"You don't have to be afraid of me Doctor," I said.
Tears leaked down her face.
"I know," she said. "They didn't violate me Jack. The just beat me. They made me feel less like a person. They made feel like a body, a number, something not worthy of attention or love."
"You have all that here," I said.
"I don't want pity," the Doctor said. "I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I feel so lost in my own head. Will the universe ever make sense again?"
"Did it ever to begin with?" I asked with a smile.
"It did to me," she said sadly. "It was magnificent. Now everything is one big question. How do I move on?"
"Slowly," I said. "With friends. We want to be by your side if you'd let us."
"I'm not sure I can."
"Try," I said. "Try for us. Try for yourself. Try because it will help you move forward."
"I'm not used to being this scared," she said.
"I know. You'll feel braver with us by your side."
The Doctor didn't say anything. She began to shake.
"Let me hold you," I said. "Let me make you feel safe again."
She shook her head violently and wouldn't look me in the eye.
"I won't hurt, you. I'm your friend. I love you Doctor."
The Doctor began to rock. She nearly teetered off the bed. I caught her.
She broke into sobs that shook her whole body. I held on to her tightly. My shoulder grew wet. Her body slowly slackened. The Doctor fell asleep in my arms.
I held onto her for a few minutes. Then I rested her on the bed and covered her with a blanket. Before I left, I kissed her on the cheek. As I closed the door, I hear her speak.
"Thank you," she mumbled with her eyes closed.
"Your welcome, Doctor," I said softly and left.
…
I had tea with her friends a while later.
"Two year in solitary is a lot of mental damage," Yaz said.
"Will she ever be herself again?" Ryan asked.
"I don't care if she's different," Graham said. "I just want to see her happy again."
"I think you will," I said. "It is just going to take time. She's working hard to get back to feeling like herself. It is a process."
"Why is she trusts you more than the rest of us?" Ryan asked.
"I've seen her darker side," I said. "I also know what it's like to be imprisoned. I can relate to her better. I know you don't like hearing this. These are just facts."
No one said anything in response.
"I know this must be frustrating for you. I'm trying for you. I'm trying to get her to open up and trust that you can also help her. Nothing about this is easy."
"I trust you Jack," Yaz said.
"I feel like we don't have much of a choice, but to trust you," Ryan said.
"I think we need you," Graham said.
"We're a team," I said. "We going to help the Doctor feel well again."
"Go team," Ryan said dully.
I sighed. Everyone was frustrated. But I doubted no one was more frustrated than the Doctor.
…
I had taken my usual spot on Graham's couch for the night when I heard screaming. I ran to Doctor's room.
A portal had opened and two hooded figures draped in gold were beckoning the Doctor forward.
"Come home," they said in a haunting echo voice. "Come back to where you belong. You've suffered enough in this universe."
The Doctor was braced against the farthest wall.
"No!" she shouted. "I don't belong to you."
"You heard the Time Lady," I said pulling a gun out. "Leave her alone!"
My gun flew out of my grip and to the floor.
"She is not who you think she is," they said. "She is an architect of the universe. Let us show you."
She screamed as she suddenly began to glow.
"Doctor fight it!" I shouted. "Fight for who you are. Remember! You are not the timeless child. You are the Doctor!
She moved her arm forward and shot gold light at the figures.
"I know who I am!" she shouted. "I don't want my memories back. I chart my own path. I AM THE DOCTOR!"
Then she grabbed the figures and tossed them into the portal as she glowed.
The glowing faded and the portal closed.
"Hey," I said lightly. "Your hair grew back."
"It's a little longer than I would have liked," she said as she examined it. "But that's what scissors are for."
"Do you need a hug?" I said opening my arms.
"I could have gone back to where I came from," she said thoughtfully. "I could have found more answers."
"But you liked what you had here," I said.
"I can't abandon you," the Doctor said. "I can't abandon my fam."
"Now I feel like I'm the one who needs a hug," I said.
She hugged me.
"You know, I think I'm going to be alright. I haven't thought that in a long time, but I believe it."
I hugged her tightly.
"That's what I want to hear."
…
We had a picnic where Ryan would try to ride his bike.
"I can't say I won't try to shut you out," the Doctor told Yaz, Ryan, and Graham. "I can't say I won't be irritable or on edge from time to time. This is the new normal. If you don't like it, I understand."
"No one is leaving you, Doctor," Yaz said.
"I may not travel as often with you, but I'll always leave the light on for you," Graham said.
"I think I'm done traveling, but I'll never stop caring about you," Ryan said.
"You're my fam," she said. "I love you."
I raised a cup.
"Cheers to family!" I said.
"To family!" everyone said.
We clinked cups.